--- title: "21 Way Quotes By Stephen Colbert" description: "21 Way quotes by Stephen Colbert. Plus more from Stephen Colbert and more Way sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/108/stephen-colbert-503_categories_class-is-a-way-of-looking-at-society-tha_2253772.png" --- > [Class is a way of looking at society that divides people into different categories based on how much money they're willing to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/class-is-a-way-of-looking-at-society-that-divides-people-into/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/108/stephen-colbert-503_categories_class-is-a-way-of-looking-at-society-tha_2253772.png) > [Christianity is the best way to cure gayness—just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/christianity-is-the-best-way-to-cure-gayness-just-get-on-your-knees/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36a/stephen-colbert-503_accepting_christianity-is-the-best-way-to-cure-gay_624703.jpg) > [It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/it-s-the-way-our-founding-fathers-would-have-wanted-it-if-they-had/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/691/stephen-colbert-503_corporations_it-s-the-way-our-founding-fathers-would_702212.png) > [Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/can-accidentally-eating-halal-food-make-you-muslim-yes-the-same-way/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/16d/stephen-colbert-503_drinking_can-accidentally-eating-halal-food-make_287830.png) > [The worst thing about affirmative action is that it encourages reverse discrimination, so-called because it goes in the opposite way of how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/the-worst-thing-about-affirmative-action-is-that-it-encourages/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/509/stephen-colbert-503_action_the-worst-thing-about-affirmative-action_1655856.png) > [Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/here-s-an-easy-way-to-figure-out-if-you-re-in-a-cult-if-you-re/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ad/stephen-colbert-503_answers_here-s-an-easy-way-to-figure-out-if-you_156073.png) > [Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/remember-you-cannot-be-both-young-and-wise-young-people-who-pretend/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bbb/stephen-colbert-503_being-wise_remember-you-cannot-be-both-young-and-wi_343616.png) > [It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/it-s-like-boxing-a-glacier-enjoy-that-metaphor-by-the-way-because/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8a/stephen-colbert-503_boxing_it-s-like-boxing-a-glacier-enjoy-that-me_3086924.png) > [Made no mistake: America is a Christian nation. The bedrock of our theo-democracy is our Judeo-Christian values. that term, by the way,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/made-no-mistake-america-is-a-christian-nation-the-bedrock-of-our-theo/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/387/stephen-colbert-503_america_made-no-mistake-america-is-a-christian-n_737814.png) > [You may learn sooner than most generations the hard lesson that you must always make the path for yourself...There is no secret…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/you-may-learn-sooner-than-most-generations-the-hard-lesson-that-you/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/113/stephen-colbert-503_generations_you-may-learn-sooner-than-most-generatio_926234.png) > [The most common thing that real reporters say to me is, "I wish I could say what you say." What I don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/the-most-common-thing-that-real-reporters-say-to-me-is-i-wish-i-could/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3f/stephen-colbert-503_able_the-most-common-thing-that-real-reporter_227625.jpg) > [I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-used-to-write-things-for-friends-there-was-this-girl-i-had-a-crush/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/05c/stephen-colbert-503_crush_i-used-to-write-things-for-friends-there_1457784.png) > [If you're a perfectionist and you know you're about to do something at which you cannot be perfect, then that is daunting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/if-you-re-a-perfectionist-and-you-know-you-re-about-to-do-something/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd0/stephen-colbert-503_approach_if-you-re-a-perfectionist-and-you-know-y_1688701.png) > [Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/remember-you-cannot-be-both-young-and-wise-young-people-who-pretend-2/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b24/stephen-colbert-503_being-wise_remember-you-cannot-be-both-young-and-wi_3001898.jpg) > [There is a residual sense for me, having grown up in the early '70s, that I did not know I had, which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/there-is-a-residual-sense-for-me-having-grown-up-in-the-early-70s/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41c/stephen-colbert-503_america_there-is-a-residual-sense-for-me-having_2839507.png) > ['Sympathy for the Devil' is just another way of saying 'Compassionate Conservative'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/sympathy-for-the-devil-is-just-another-way-of-saying-compassionate/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/stephen-colbert-503_another-way_sympathy-for-the-devil-is-just-another-w_689432.png) > [Take it from me, there's nothing like a job well done. Except the quiet enveloping darkness at the bottom of a bottle…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/take-it-from-me-there-s-nothing-like-a-job-well-done-except-the-quiet/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/021/stephen-colbert-503_beam_take-it-from-me-there-s-nothing-like-a-j_923969.png) > [Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/pain-is-the-body-s-way-of-telling-the-brain-it-s-in-trouble-similarly/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/707/stephen-colbert-503_body_pain-is-the-body-s-way-of-telling-the-br_2713963.png) > [I cannot stand people who disagree with me on the issue of Roe v. Wade... which I believe is about the proper…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-cannot-stand-people-who-disagree-with-me-on-the-issue-of-roe-v-wade/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bdd/stephen-colbert-503_believe_i-cannot-stand-people-who-disagree-with_2179561.png) > [The way to a man's heart is through his stomach...just make sure you thrust upward through his ribcage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/the-way-to-a-man-s-heart-is-through-his-stomach-just-make-sure-you/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/236/stephen-colbert-503_heart_the-way-to-a-man-s-heart-is-through-his_2325138.png) > [You can change the world. Please don't do that, OK? Some of us like the way things are going now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/you-can-change-the-world-please-don-t-do-that-ok-some-of-us-like-the/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/482/stephen-colbert-503_change_you-can-change-the-world-please-don-t-do_744766.png) ## Other authors on Way ## More by Stephen Colbert > [Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/don-t-be-bitter-everybody-suffers-if-you-can-accept-your-suffering/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/cynicism-masquerades-as-wisdom-but-it-is-the-farthest-thing-from-it/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/we-all-deserve-credit-for-this-new-surveillance-state-that-we-live-in/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-ve-long-been-against-illegal-aliens-partly-because-they-distract-us/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to believe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/believe-in-me-cause-i-don-t-believe-in-anything-and-i-wanna-be/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/it-s-august-which-means-congress-is-on-recess-and-mitch-mcconnell-has/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/try-to-love-others-and-serve-others-and-hopefully-find-those-who-love/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/thirty-seconds-is-the-exact-amount-of-time-americans-can-tolerate/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-used-to-make-up-stuff-in-my-bio-all-the-time-that-i-used-to-be-a/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-live-by-syllogisms-god-is-love-love-is-blind-stevie-wonder-is-blind/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [“Unlike Paul Newman, who seems to think that salad dressing is the cure-all for America's ills, I'm a man of action.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/unlike-paul-newman-who-seems-to-think-that-salad-dressing-is-the-cure/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/now-for-my-younger-viewers-out-there-a-book-is-something-we-used-to/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Jesus forgives sinners, not criminals.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/jesus-forgives-sinners-not-criminals/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Used books are the sluts of the literary world. Passed around from person to person, spreading their pages for anyone, getting cheaper and cheaper…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/used-books-are-the-sluts-of-the-literary-world-passed-around-from/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [“Divorce is a marital welfare. It's just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn't do enough research before they got married.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/divorce-is-a-marital-welfare-it-s-just-couples-asking-society-to-bail/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/stephen-colbert/#itemlist", "name": "21 Way Quotes By Stephen Colbert", "numberOfItems": 21, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Class is a way of looking at society that divides people into different categories based on how much money they're willing to make.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/class-is-a-way-of-looking-at-society-that-divides-people-into/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/108/stephen-colbert-503_categories_class-is-a-way-of-looking-at-society-tha_2253772.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/108/stephen-colbert-503_categories_class-is-a-way-of-looking-at-society-tha_2253772.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/108/stephen-colbert-503_categories_class-is-a-way-of-looking-at-society-tha_2253772.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Class is a way of looking at society that divides people into different categories based on how much money…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Christianity is the best way to cure gayness—just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the body of a man into your mouth.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/christianity-is-the-best-way-to-cure-gayness-just-get-on-your-knees/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36a/stephen-colbert-503_accepting_christianity-is-the-best-way-to-cure-gay_624703.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36a/stephen-colbert-503_accepting_christianity-is-the-best-way-to-cure-gay_624703.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/36a/stephen-colbert-503_accepting_christianity-is-the-best-way-to-cure-gay_624703.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Christianity is the best way to cure gayness—just get on your knees, take a swig of wine, and accept the…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/it-s-the-way-our-founding-fathers-would-have-wanted-it-if-they-had/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/691/stephen-colbert-503_corporations_it-s-the-way-our-founding-fathers-would_702212.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/691/stephen-colbert-503_corporations_it-s-the-way-our-founding-fathers-would_702212.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/691/stephen-colbert-503_corporations_it-s-the-way-our-founding-fathers-would_702212.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? 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Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly cynics.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/remember-you-cannot-be-both-young-and-wise-young-people-who-pretend/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bbb/stephen-colbert-503_being-wise_remember-you-cannot-be-both-young-and-wi_343616.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bbb/stephen-colbert-503_being-wise_remember-you-cannot-be-both-young-and-wi_343616.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bbb/stephen-colbert-503_being-wise_remember-you-cannot-be-both-young-and-wi_343616.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. 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It implies that Christianity and Judaism are equal.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/made-no-mistake-america-is-a-christian-nation-the-bedrock-of-our-theo/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/387/stephen-colbert-503_america_made-no-mistake-america-is-a-christian-n_737814.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/387/stephen-colbert-503_america_made-no-mistake-america-is-a-christian-n_737814.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/387/stephen-colbert-503_america_made-no-mistake-america-is-a-christian-n_737814.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Made no mistake: America is a Christian nation. 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Does that mean they want to be able to name certain bald contradictions or hypocrisies that politicians have?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/the-most-common-thing-that-real-reporters-say-to-me-is-i-wish-i-could/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3f/stephen-colbert-503_able_the-most-common-thing-that-real-reporter_227625.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3f/stephen-colbert-503_able_the-most-common-thing-that-real-reporter_227625.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3f/stephen-colbert-503_able_the-most-common-thing-that-real-reporter_227625.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The most common thing that real reporters say to me is, \"I wish I could say what you say.\" What I don't…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-used-to-write-things-for-friends-there-was-this-girl-i-had-a-crush/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/05c/stephen-colbert-503_crush_i-used-to-write-things-for-friends-there_1457784.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/05c/stephen-colbert-503_crush_i-used-to-write-things-for-friends-there_1457784.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/05c/stephen-colbert-503_crush_i-used-to-write-things-for-friends-there_1457784.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I used to write things for friends. 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Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are mostly just cynics. Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us. Cynics always say no. But saying “yes” begins things. Saying “yes” is how things grow. Saying “yes” leads to knowledge. “Yes” is for young people. 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Because there was such a divide between the military world - and there still is, because there's no draft - and the civilian world is one of the rotten harvests of the Vietnam War, was this sort of bifurcation of America in that way.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/there-is-a-residual-sense-for-me-having-grown-up-in-the-early-70s/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41c/stephen-colbert-503_america_there-is-a-residual-sense-for-me-having_2839507.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41c/stephen-colbert-503_america_there-is-a-residual-sense-for-me-having_2839507.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41c/stephen-colbert-503_america_there-is-a-residual-sense-for-me-having_2839507.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There is a residual sense for me, having grown up in the early '70s, that I did not know I had, which was a…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "'Sympathy for the Devil' is just another way of saying 'Compassionate Conservative'.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/sympathy-for-the-devil-is-just-another-way-of-saying-compassionate/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/stephen-colbert-503_another-way_sympathy-for-the-devil-is-just-another-w_689432.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/stephen-colbert-503_another-way_sympathy-for-the-devil-is-just-another-w_689432.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/stephen-colbert-503_another-way_sympathy-for-the-devil-is-just-another-w_689432.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“'Sympathy for the Devil' is just another way of saying 'Compassionate Conservative'.” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Take it from me, there's nothing like a job well done. Except the quiet enveloping darkness at the bottom of a bottle of Jim Beam after a job done any way at all.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/take-it-from-me-there-s-nothing-like-a-job-well-done-except-the-quiet/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/021/stephen-colbert-503_beam_take-it-from-me-there-s-nothing-like-a-j_923969.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/021/stephen-colbert-503_beam_take-it-from-me-there-s-nothing-like-a-j_923969.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/021/stephen-colbert-503_beam_take-it-from-me-there-s-nothing-like-a-j_923969.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Take it from me, there's nothing like a job well done. 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Similarly, confusion is the brain's way of telling the body, 'All right, buddy, drop that book.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/pain-is-the-body-s-way-of-telling-the-brain-it-s-in-trouble-similarly/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/707/stephen-colbert-503_body_pain-is-the-body-s-way-of-telling-the-br_2713963.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/707/stephen-colbert-503_body_pain-is-the-body-s-way-of-telling-the-br_2713963.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/707/stephen-colbert-503_body_pain-is-the-body-s-way-of-telling-the-br_2713963.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Pain is the body's way of telling the brain it's in trouble. 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Wade... which I believe is about the proper way to cross a lake.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-cannot-stand-people-who-disagree-with-me-on-the-issue-of-roe-v-wade/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bdd/stephen-colbert-503_believe_i-cannot-stand-people-who-disagree-with_2179561.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bdd/stephen-colbert-503_believe_i-cannot-stand-people-who-disagree-with_2179561.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bdd/stephen-colbert-503_believe_i-cannot-stand-people-who-disagree-with_2179561.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I cannot stand people who disagree with me on the issue of Roe v. 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