--- title: "14 Way Quotes By Dennis Miller" description: "14 Way quotes by Dennis Miller. Plus more from Dennis Miller and more Way sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/999/dennis-miller-1315_book_now-i-don-t-have-anything-against-mexica_272587.png" --- > [Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/now-i-don-t-have-anything-against-mexican-people-but-for-god-s-sakes/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/999/dennis-miller-1315_book_now-i-don-t-have-anything-against-mexica_272587.png) > [I'm a tad paranoid. I think the person in front of me is following me the long way round.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-m-a-tad-paranoid-i-think-the-person-in-front-of-me-is-following-me/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/902/dennis-miller-1315_following_i-m-a-tad-paranoid-i-think-the-person-in_1316732.png) > [The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-only-way-the-french-are-going-in-is-if-we-tell-them-we-found/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/894/dennis-miller-1315_found_the-only-way-the-french-are-going-in-is_2293618.png) > [If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/if-somebody-wants-to-shoot-up-and-die-in-front-of-you-more-power-to/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da1/dennis-miller-1315_dies_if-somebody-wants-to-shoot-up-and-die-in_2779073.png) > [The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-death-penalty-is-becoming-a-way-of-life-in-this-country/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecf/dennis-miller-1315_becoming_the-death-penalty-is-becoming-a-way-of-l_2421666.png) > [Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/now-i-don-t-want-to-get-off-on-a-rant-here-but-guilt-is-simply-god-s/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1db/dennis-miller-1315_guilt_now-i-don-t-want-to-get-off-on-a-rant-he_3129580.png) > [What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/what-s-so-touching-is-the-way-we-fight-the-war-right-until-the-moment/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/853/dennis-miller-1315_business_what-s-so-touching-is-the-way-we-fight-t_2787438.png) > [And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/and-by-the-way-my-belief-is-that-if-men-were-the-ones-getting/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/917/dennis-miller-1315_abortion_and-by-the-way-my-belief-is-that-if-men_2846663.png) > [The next time you get the urge to shut somebody up because they don't see the world exactly the same way you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-next-time-you-get-the-urge-to-shut-somebody-up-because-they-don-t/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21a/dennis-miller-1315_amendments_the-next-time-you-get-the-urge-to-shut-s_726661.jpg) > [The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-mexican-people-i-know-seem-to-respect-the-country-in-a-way-that/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ca/dennis-miller-1315_book_the-mexican-people-i-know-seem-to-respec_3077064.png) > [The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-way-i-ve-always-governed-my-life-as-far-as-fiscal-policy-goes-is/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/dennis-miller-1315_doughnut_the-way-i-ve-always-governed-my-life-as_2142997.jpg) > [On Thursday, a passenger forced his way into the cockpit of a United Airlines flight from Miami, but was subdued after the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/on-thursday-a-passenger-forced-his-way-into-the-cockpit-of-a-united/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64d/dennis-miller-1315_airline_on-thursday-a-passenger-forced-his-way-i_549010.jpg) > [ I cannot tell you how proud watching that \[Iraqi\] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-cannot-tell-you-how-proud-watching-that-iraqi-war-coverage-makes-me/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/141/dennis-miller-1315_coverage_i-cannot-tell-you-how-proud-watching-tha_683433.png) > [My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/my-fear-of-flying-starts-as-soon-as-i-buckle-myself-in-and-then-the/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/946/dennis-miller-1315_acceleration_my-fear-of-flying-starts-as-soon-as-i-bu_753959.png) ## Other authors on Way ## More by Dennis Miller > [Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/laughter-is-one-of-the-great-beacons-in-life-because-we-don-t-refract/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/it-takes-zero-politically-correct-people-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/drop-the-veneer-periodically-and-be-like-ok-i-m-an-imperfect-human/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-m-left-on-a-lot-of-things-if-two-gay-guys-want-to-get-married-i/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/american-s-could-be-any-more-self-absorbed-if-they-were-made-of-equal/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/nowadays-with-history-not-being-taught-anymore-in-american-public/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-think-abortion-s-wrong-but-it-s-none-of-my-business-to-tell/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/americans-stick-their-nose-where-it-doesn-t-belong-more-than-cyrano/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/we-need-anything-politically-important-rationed-out-like-pez-small/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/dennis-kucinich-s-politics-are-more-scrambled-than-rod-steiger-s/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/somebody-call-janet-reno-i-think-i-just-saw-donato-dragging-doug/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-have-sympathy-for-any-human-being-that-s-driven-by-their-limbic/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-haven-t-seen-someone-so-overmatched-since-mike-tyson-tried-to/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [ There's a lot of differing data \[about global warming\], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/there-s-a-lot-of-differing-data-about-global-warming-but-as-far-as-i/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) > [The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or you're a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-good-thing-about-pittsburgh-it-s-a-good-place-to-be-raised-it/) [Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/dennis-miller/#itemlist", "name": "14 Way Quotes By Dennis Miller", "numberOfItems": 14, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/now-i-don-t-have-anything-against-mexican-people-but-for-god-s-sakes/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/999/dennis-miller-1315_book_now-i-don-t-have-anything-against-mexica_272587.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/999/dennis-miller-1315_book_now-i-don-t-have-anything-against-mexica_272587.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/999/dennis-miller-1315_book_now-i-don-t-have-anything-against-mexica_272587.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Now I don't have anything against Mexican people, but for God's sakes, sign the gust book on the way in.” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm a tad paranoid. 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It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/what-s-so-touching-is-the-way-we-fight-the-war-right-until-the-moment/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/853/dennis-miller-1315_business_what-s-so-touching-is-the-way-we-fight-t_2787438.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/853/dennis-miller-1315_business_what-s-so-touching-is-the-way-we-fight-t_2787438.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/853/dennis-miller-1315_business_what-s-so-touching-is-the-way-we-fight-t_2787438.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then…” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get than food poisoning in Moscow.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/and-by-the-way-my-belief-is-that-if-men-were-the-ones-getting/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/917/dennis-miller-1315_abortion_and-by-the-way-my-belief-is-that-if-men_2846663.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/917/dennis-miller-1315_abortion_and-by-the-way-my-belief-is-that-if-men_2846663.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/917/dennis-miller-1315_abortion_and-by-the-way-my-belief-is-that-if-men_2846663.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“And by the way, my belief is that if men were the ones getting pregnant, abortions would be easier to get…” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The next time you get the urge to shut somebody up because they don't see the world exactly the same way you do, take a deep breath, get out your Bill of Rights, and count to the ten amendments.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-next-time-you-get-the-urge-to-shut-somebody-up-because-they-don-t/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21a/dennis-miller-1315_amendments_the-next-time-you-get-the-urge-to-shut-s_726661.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21a/dennis-miller-1315_amendments_the-next-time-you-get-the-urge-to-shut-s_726661.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21a/dennis-miller-1315_amendments_the-next-time-you-get-the-urge-to-shut-s_726661.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The next time you get the urge to shut somebody up because they don't see the world exactly the same way you…” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here don't. So come on over folks, the more the merrier. But please, sign the guest book on the way in.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-mexican-people-i-know-seem-to-respect-the-country-in-a-way-that/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ca/dennis-miller-1315_book_the-mexican-people-i-know-seem-to-respec_3077064.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ca/dennis-miller-1315_book_the-mexican-people-i-know-seem-to-respec_3077064.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ca/dennis-miller-1315_book_the-mexican-people-i-know-seem-to-respec_3077064.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The Mexican people I know seem to respect the country in a way that many spoiled brats who were born here…” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb about it, so I surround myself with smart people in much the same way a hole surrounds itself with a doughnut. I just pay things off. That's all I do.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-way-i-ve-always-governed-my-life-as-far-as-fiscal-policy-goes-is/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/dennis-miller-1315_doughnut_the-way-i-ve-always-governed-my-life-as_2142997.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/dennis-miller-1315_doughnut_the-way-i-ve-always-governed-my-life-as_2142997.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/dennis-miller-1315_doughnut_the-way-i-ve-always-governed-my-life-as_2142997.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The way I've always governed my life as far as fiscal policy goes is I'm smart enough to know that I'm dumb…” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "On Thursday, a passenger forced his way into the cockpit of a United Airlines flight from Miami, but was subdued after the co-pilot hit him with a small ax. Good to see our airlines are being kept secure by the latest in 12th century technology.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/on-thursday-a-passenger-forced-his-way-into-the-cockpit-of-a-united/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64d/dennis-miller-1315_airline_on-thursday-a-passenger-forced-his-way-i_549010.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64d/dennis-miller-1315_airline_on-thursday-a-passenger-forced-his-way-i_549010.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64d/dennis-miller-1315_airline_on-thursday-a-passenger-forced-his-way-i_549010.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“On Thursday, a passenger forced his way into the cockpit of a United Airlines flight from Miami, but was…” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying that they think that it's, that you know what we're doing is imperialistic. I watch the way we handle ourselves over there and I've never felt more patriotic in my life.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-cannot-tell-you-how-proud-watching-that-iraqi-war-coverage-makes-me/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/141/dennis-miller-1315_coverage_i-cannot-tell-you-how-proud-watching-tha_683433.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/141/dennis-miller-1315_coverage_i-cannot-tell-you-how-proud-watching-tha_683433.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/141/dennis-miller-1315_coverage_i-cannot-tell-you-how-proud-watching-tha_683433.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I cannot tell you how proud watching that [Iraqi] war coverage makes me. I know a lot of people are saying…” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I'm thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dennis Miller" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/my-fear-of-flying-starts-as-soon-as-i-buckle-myself-in-and-then-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/946/dennis-miller-1315_acceleration_my-fear-of-flying-starts-as-soon-as-i-bu_753959.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/946/dennis-miller-1315_acceleration_my-fear-of-flying-starts-as-soon-as-i-bu_753959.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/946/dennis-miller-1315_acceleration_my-fear-of-flying-starts-as-soon-as-i-bu_753959.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few…” — Dennis Miller", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/dennis-miller/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/dennis-miller/", "name": "Way Quotes by Dennis Miller", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/dennis-miller/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/999/dennis-miller-1315_book_now-i-don-t-have-anything-against-mexica_272587.png" }, "description": "14 Way quotes by Dennis Miller. 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