---
title: "18 Way Quotes By David Sedaris"
description: "18 Way quotes by David Sedaris. Plus more from David Sedaris and more Way sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fcf/david-sedaris-333_comedy_i-ve-always-had-a-way-with-the-little-pe_2735015.png"
---

> [I've always had a way with the little people, making it a point to humor them without looking down my nose at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-ve-always-had-a-way-with-the-little-people-making-it-a-point-to/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fcf/david-sedaris-333_comedy_i-ve-always-had-a-way-with-the-little-pe_2735015.png)

> [He looked as though his life had not only passed him by but paused along the way to spit in his face.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/he-looked-as-though-his-life-had-not-only-passed-him-by-but-paused/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94c/david-sedaris-333_faces_he-looked-as-though-his-life-had-not-onl_1651074.png)

> [I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-like-listening-to-books-as-well-as-that-way-you-can-iron-at-the/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40c/david-sedaris-333_book_i-like-listening-to-books-as-well-as-tha_2023427.png)

> [The Korean man nodded, the way you do when you’re a foreigner and understand that someone has finished a sentence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/the-korean-man-nodded-the-way-you-do-when-you-re-a-foreigner-and/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c0e/david-sedaris-333_foreigners_the-korean-man-nodded-the-way-you-do-whe_3229545.png)

> [I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-ve-always-been-very-upfront-about-the-way-i-write-and-i-ve-always/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f56/david-sedaris-333_exaggeration_i-ve-always-been-very-upfront-about-the_372132.png)

> [You meet people who say, "Oh, I'd like to do such-and-such, but I don't have the time." But it always seemed to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/you-meet-people-who-say-oh-i-d-like-to-do-such-and-such-but-i-don-t/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c65/david-sedaris-333_ifs_you-meet-people-who-say-oh-i-d-like-to-d_1617131.png)

> [The difference between the first time I read something and the tenth time I read something is generally pretty profound. Even if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/the-difference-between-the-first-time-i-read-something-and-the-tenth/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/david-sedaris-333_differences_the-difference-between-the-first-time-i_2261105.png)

> [I hoped our lives would continue this way forever, but inevitably the past came knocking. Not the good kind that was collectible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-hoped-our-lives-would-continue-this-way-forever-but-inevitably-the/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2c/david-sedaris-333_arthritis_i-hoped-our-lives-would-continue-this-wa_294674.png)

> [Most movies, I forget about them while I'm watching them. I go every single day. But I've never thought about participating in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/most-movies-i-forget-about-them-while-i-m-watching-them-i-go-every/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ea/david-sedaris-333_every-single-day_most-movies-i-forget-about-them-while-i_1355082.png)

> [The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin "Tubby" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/the-only-bright-spot-in-the-entire-evening-was-the-presence-of-kevin/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b0/david-sedaris-333_authenticity_the-only-bright-spot-in-the-entire-eveni_1657494.jpg)

> [I'm for gay elopement, not for gay weddings. I've been with my boyfriend for twenty years. I don't feel like that would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-m-for-gay-elopement-not-for-gay-weddings-i-ve-been-with-my/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf0/david-sedaris-333_elopement_i-m-for-gay-elopement-not-for-gay-weddin_439160.png)

> [I always say to young people, "Get the hell out of the United States." Especially if you're young, like if you're 21…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-always-say-to-young-people-get-the-hell-out-of-the-united-states/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e05/david-sedaris-333_being-nice_i-always-say-to-young-people-get-the-hel_107229.jpg)

> [The difference between writing where you know where to draw the line and writing where you're being way too mean is whether…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/the-difference-between-writing-where-you-know-where-to-draw-the-line/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa7/david-sedaris-333_about-yourself_the-difference-between-writing-where-you_2336549.jpg)

> [Like any normal fifth grader, I preferred my villains to be evil and stay that way, to act like Dracula rather than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/like-any-normal-fifth-grader-i-preferred-my-villains-to-be-evil-and/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/580/david-sedaris-333_drowning_like-any-normal-fifth-grader-i-preferred_662627.png)

> [I would still be reading out loud. I think that if you are any kind of an artist, then validation is just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-would-still-be-reading-out-loud-i-think-that-if-you-are-any-kind-of/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e9/david-sedaris-333_art_i-would-still-be-reading-out-loud-i-thin_799477.png)

> [I like the trail that the Internet created. For example, I was watching one of those Douglas Sirk movies, and I noticed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-like-the-trail-that-the-internet-created-for-example-i-was-watching/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/35e/david-sedaris-333_aspect_i-like-the-trail-that-the-internet-creat_1788152.jpg)

> [It is never appropriate to comment on a woman's breasts. I would never do it on the street or at a supermarket,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-is-never-appropriate-to-comment-on-a-woman-s-breasts-i-would-never/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ee/david-sedaris-333_appropriate_it-is-never-appropriate-to-comment-on-a_1822952.jpg)

> [This is hurting me a lot more than it’s hurting you," he said. It was his standard line, but I knew that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/this-is-hurting-me-a-lot-more-than-it-s-hurting-you-he-said-it-was/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eae/david-sedaris-333_evil_this-is-hurting-me-a-lot-more-than-it-s_1229650.jpg)

## Other authors on Way

## More by David Sedaris

> [“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/plenty-of-animals-had-pets-but-few-were-more-devoted-than-the-mouse/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/never-fall-asleep-in-a-dumpster-never-underestimate-a-bee-never-drive/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/it-was-a-father-one-hand-resting-teapot-style-on-his-hip-and-the/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/a-japanese-woman-we-d-met-in-paris-came-to-the-apartment-yesterday/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/one-thing-i-like-about-the-united-states-and-i-kind-of-miss-about-the/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/when-you-read-comic-material-and-people-aren-t-laughing-how-do-you/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/you-have-how-many-children-in-your-family-the-teacher-would-ask-i-m/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/like-most-seasoned-phonies-i-roundly-suspect-that-everyone-is-as/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/as-a-child-i-assumed-that-when-i-reached-adulthood-i-would-have-grown/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/you-just-take-and-take-don-t-you-out-there-with-your-thumb-in-the-air/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/in-other-parts-of-the-country-people-tried-to-stay-together-for-the/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/my-boyfriend-got-me-a-computer-three-years-ago-i-ll-admit-it-does/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [I spent months searching for some secret code before I realized that common sense has nothing to do with it. Hysteria, psychosis, torture, depression:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-spent-months-searching-for-some-secret-code-before-i-realized-that/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/i-hated-leaving-a-hole-in-the-smoking-world-and-so-i-recruited/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

> [Write relentlessly, until you find your voice. Then, use it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-sedaris/write-relentlessly-until-you-find-your-voice-then-use-it/)

[David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-sedaris/)

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                        "text": "The only bright spot in the entire evening was the presence of Kevin \"Tubby\" Matchwell, the eleven-year-old porker who tackled the role of Santa with a beguiling authenticity. The false beard tended to muffle his speech, but they could hear his chafing thighs all the way to the North Pole.",
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                        "text": "I'm for gay elopement, not for gay weddings. I've been with my boyfriend for twenty years. I don't feel like that would validate our relationship in any way. But I would really fight for someone else to have the right. Just elope, though, please.",
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                        "text": "I always say to young people, \"Get the hell out of the United States.\" Especially if you're young, like if you're 21 or something. Let's say you don't speak any Italian. You're 21. Everyone's going to want to sleep with you and be nice to you. And the best way to learn a language is to sleep with someone from that country.",
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                        "text": "The difference between writing where you know where to draw the line and writing where you're being way too mean is whether you can tell that the writer is not talking to family or friends anymore. Generally, if you say something bad about somebody on stage, you need to say two bad things about yourself. A lot of times, I think I'm the worst person in the room.",
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                        "text": "Like any normal fifth grader, I preferred my villains to be evil and stay that way, to act like Dracula rather than Frankenstein's monster, who ruined everything by handing that peasant girl a flower. He sort of made up for it by drowning her a few minutes later, but, still, you couldn't look at him the same way again.",
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                        "text": "I would still be reading out loud. I think that if you are any kind of an artist, then validation is just sort of... it can be a result, but you're going to do the work anyway. Because you're just wired that way. It's so engrained, it's such a part of your personality that you don't just stop doing it. Eventually I'll retire on some level, eventually no one will want to buy my books or a ticket to see me read, it's inevitable that's going to happe",
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                        "text": "I like the trail that the Internet created. For example, I was watching one of those Douglas Sirk movies, and I noticed that Rock Hudson towered over everyone, and I typed in \"How tall was\" and I saw \"How tall was Jesus,\" and I'm like, \"Sure,\" and half an hour later you're somewhere you didn't expect to be. It doesn't work that same way in books, does it? Even if you have an encyclopedia, the trail isn't that crazy. I like that aspect of it.",
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                        "text": "It is never appropriate to comment on a woman's breasts. I would never do it on the street or at a supermarket, but when I'm sitting a table signing books, sometimes I notice that a woman will have remarkable breasts. And I will maybe quietly say something about it. It's not in a sexual way, because I'm a gay man - I would never say to a man \"great ass\" because that would be sort of creepy.. I hope it's not creepy to quietly tell a woman she has nice breasts.",
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                        "text": "This is hurting me a lot more than it’s hurting you,\" he said. It was his standard line, but I knew that this time he was right. Worse than the boil was the stuff that came out of it. What got to me, and got to him even worse, was the stench, which was unbearable, and unlike anything I had come across before. It was, I thought, what evil must smell like—not an evil person but the wicked ideas that have made him that way. How could a person continue to live with something so rotten inside? And so much of it!",
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