--- title: "18 Way Quotes By Anthony Jeselnik" description: "18 Way quotes by Anthony Jeselnik. Plus more from Anthony Jeselnik and more Way sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/305/anthony-jeselnik-1838_people_of-all-the-ways-people-save-time-i-think_945784.png" --- > [Of all the ways people save time, I think racism is the worst.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/of-all-the-ways-people-save-time-i-think-racism-is-the-worst/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/305/anthony-jeselnik-1838_people_of-all-the-ways-people-save-time-i-think_945784.png) > [Sure, retarded jokes write themselves. But the spelling is always way off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/sure-retarded-jokes-write-themselves-but-the-spelling-is-always-way/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/483/anthony-jeselnik-1838_jokes_sure-retarded-jokes-write-themselves-but_2462996.png) > [Hitler really wasn't so bad. In the black way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/hitler-really-wasn-t-so-bad-in-the-black-way/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aae/anthony-jeselnik-1838_black_hitler-really-wasn-t-so-bad-in-the-black_1328626.png) > [What do I care if someone doesn't like me. If I like someone other people hate, it makes me feel special. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/what-do-i-care-if-someone-doesn-t-like-me-if-i-like-someone-other/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bba/anthony-jeselnik-1838_care_what-do-i-care-if-someone-doesn-t-like-m_1647375.png) > [Whenever I’m about to have sex with a girl, I play it smart and just automatically assume she has herpes; because that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/whenever-i-m-about-to-have-sex-with-a-girl-i-play-it-smart-and-just/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/anthony-jeselnik-1838_assuming_whenever-i-m-about-to-have-sex-with-a-gi_2943962.jpg) > [My girlfriend wants an open relationship. I said no way. What kind of man would I be if I had to tell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/my-girlfriend-wants-an-open-relationship-i-said-no-way-what-kind-of/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6e/anthony-jeselnik-1838_date_my-girlfriend-wants-an-open-relationship_1228379.png) > [That's the worst way you can hear about comedy material: from a third person's blog story that they wrote when they were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/that-s-the-worst-way-you-can-hear-about-comedy-material-from-a-third/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/500/anthony-jeselnik-1838_about_that-s-the-worst-way-you-can-hear-about_1970789.png) > [The world is full of horrible things that will eventually get you and everything you care about. Laughter is a universal way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/the-world-is-full-of-horrible-things-that-will-eventually-get-you-and/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfc/anthony-jeselnik-1838_care_the-world-is-full-of-horrible-things-tha_2658776.png) > [The best way to break up with a girl is like I'm taking off a band-aid. Slowly and in the shower.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/the-best-way-to-break-up-with-a-girl-is-like-i-m-taking-off-a-band/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9dc/anthony-jeselnik-1838_aids_the-best-way-to-break-up-with-a-girl-is_2779781.png) > [I'm a realist all the way. I'm too cynical to be an optimist. But I've lived too much of a charmed life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-m-a-realist-all-the-way-i-m-too-cynical-to-be-an-optimist-but-i-ve/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b70/anthony-jeselnik-1838_charmed_i-m-a-realist-all-the-way-i-m-too-cynica_427148.png) > [I was a terrible employee. I've been fired from almost every job I've ever had, luckily, in a good way, or else…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-was-a-terrible-employee-i-ve-been-fired-from-almost-every-job-i-ve/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3bc/anthony-jeselnik-1838_employee_i-was-a-terrible-employee-i-ve-been-fire_1470883.png) > [Every night, my girlfriend comes home from work, and she brings with her a houseplant. She's like, 'Anthony, I had to pick…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/every-night-my-girlfriend-comes-home-from-work-and-she-brings-with/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e09/anthony-jeselnik-1838_alive_every-night-my-girlfriend-comes-home-fro_2649160.png) > [I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-have-that-need-in-me-i-want-everyone-to-love-me-but-i-m-embarrassed/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/980/anthony-jeselnik-1838_able_i-have-that-need-in-me-i-want-everyone-t_1356.jpg) > [My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/my-dad-was-a-complicated-man-he-was-a-huge-racist-my-dad-but-he-still/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/768/anthony-jeselnik-1838_bigs_my-dad-was-a-complicated-man-he-was-a-hu_3092738.jpg) > [My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/my-sister-just-had-a-baby-a-little-newborn-the-kid-is-adorable-so/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/033/anthony-jeselnik-1838_adorable_my-sister-just-had-a-baby-a-little-newbo_2840589.jpg) > [I'm not just offensive, I'm very smart about the way that I do it, and that takes a lot of time. People…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-m-not-just-offensive-i-m-very-smart-about-the-way-that-i-do-it-and/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa7/anthony-jeselnik-1838_about_i-m-not-just-offensive-i-m-very-smart-ab_1753113.png) > [Usually the beginning of a story that people hear a lot. For example, "My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut" or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/usually-the-beginning-of-a-story-that-people-hear-a-lot-for-example/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6dd/anthony-jeselnik-1838_car_usually-the-beginning-of-a-story-that-pe_1426092.png) > [You can't expect everyone to laugh or applaud you for doing edgy things. Sometimes you'll miss. But I think comedians are artists…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/you-can-t-expect-everyone-to-laugh-or-applaud-you-for-doing-edgy/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/def/anthony-jeselnik-1838_artist_you-can-t-expect-everyone-to-laugh-or-ap_2336037.jpg) ## Other authors on Way ## More by Anthony Jeselnik > [I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-have-that-need-in-me-i-want-everyone-to-love-me-but-i-m-embarrassed/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I want people to just be paying attention even if they're not necessarily laughing at something, or if it takes them a while to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-want-people-to-just-be-paying-attention-even-if-they-re-not/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I have a twelve year old sex doll. Brand new.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-have-a-twelve-year-old-sex-doll-brand-new/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [Perhaps I'm being too optimistic, but I think this country is finally ready for a black serial killer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/perhaps-i-m-being-too-optimistic-but-i-think-this-country-is-finally/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/father-s-day-makes-me-wish-i-could-talk-to-my-dad-just-one-more-time/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [About a year after I moved to Los Angeles, I decided I wanted to be a joke writer for a late night talk show.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/about-a-year-after-i-moved-to-los-angeles-i-decided-i-wanted-to-be-a/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [When I was little, I would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But now that I'm older, I'm more of a cat guy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/when-i-was-little-i-would-burn-ants-with-a-magnifying-glass-but-now/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I'm fascinated by offensive subject matter. Always have been. It is very natural to me, as any teach I've ever had growing up could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-m-fascinated-by-offensive-subject-matter-always-have-been-it-is/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I got into comedy because I wanted to get into writing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-got-into-comedy-because-i-wanted-to-get-into-writing/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I actually never acted on "Deadwood." I have meetings all the time where people look at my IMDb page and see that I played…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-actually-never-acted-on-deadwood-i-have-meetings-all-the-time-where/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I was a weird kid because I liked to be alone, but I craved attention. It was important for me to be cool, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-was-a-weird-kid-because-i-liked-to-be-alone-but-i-craved-attention/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I know her in the biblical senseand when I say that, I mean I don't believe a word she says.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-know-her-in-the-biblical-senseand-when-i-say-that-i-mean-i-don-t/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I love Pittsburgh. Most of my family still lives there and I try to get back a couple of times a year.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-love-pittsburgh-most-of-my-family-still-lives-there-and-i-try-to/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I think brilliant stuff comes out of working with limitations. One liners are very limiting, but that's what drew me to them in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-think-brilliant-stuff-comes-out-of-working-with-limitations-one/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [I love anyone who surprises me and makes me laugh.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-love-anyone-who-surprises-me-and-makes-me-laugh/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way/anthony-jeselnik/#itemlist", "name": "18 Way Quotes By Anthony Jeselnik", "numberOfItems": 18, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Of all the ways people save time, I think racism is the worst.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Jeselnik" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/of-all-the-ways-people-save-time-i-think-racism-is-the-worst/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/305/anthony-jeselnik-1838_people_of-all-the-ways-people-save-time-i-think_945784.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/305/anthony-jeselnik-1838_people_of-all-the-ways-people-save-time-i-think_945784.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/305/anthony-jeselnik-1838_people_of-all-the-ways-people-save-time-i-think_945784.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Of all the ways people save time, I think racism is the worst.” — Anthony Jeselnik", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Sure, retarded jokes write themselves. 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Laughter is a universal way to lift your head up and say: 'Not today, you bastards.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Jeselnik" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/the-world-is-full-of-horrible-things-that-will-eventually-get-you-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfc/anthony-jeselnik-1838_care_the-world-is-full-of-horrible-things-tha_2658776.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfc/anthony-jeselnik-1838_care_the-world-is-full-of-horrible-things-tha_2658776.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfc/anthony-jeselnik-1838_care_the-world-is-full-of-horrible-things-tha_2658776.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The world is full of horrible things that will eventually get you and everything you care about. Laughter is…” — Anthony Jeselnik", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The best way to break up with a girl is like I'm taking off a band-aid. Slowly and in the shower.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Jeselnik" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/the-best-way-to-break-up-with-a-girl-is-like-i-m-taking-off-a-band/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9dc/anthony-jeselnik-1838_aids_the-best-way-to-break-up-with-a-girl-is_2779781.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9dc/anthony-jeselnik-1838_aids_the-best-way-to-break-up-with-a-girl-is_2779781.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9dc/anthony-jeselnik-1838_aids_the-best-way-to-break-up-with-a-girl-is_2779781.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The best way to break up with a girl is like I'm taking off a band-aid. 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But I've lived too much of a charmed life so far to ever be a pessimist.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Jeselnik" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-m-a-realist-all-the-way-i-m-too-cynical-to-be-an-optimist-but-i-ve/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b70/anthony-jeselnik-1838_charmed_i-m-a-realist-all-the-way-i-m-too-cynica_427148.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b70/anthony-jeselnik-1838_charmed_i-m-a-realist-all-the-way-i-m-too-cynica_427148.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b70/anthony-jeselnik-1838_charmed_i-m-a-realist-all-the-way-i-m-too-cynica_427148.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm a realist all the way. I'm too cynical to be an optimist. 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I would always joke around with everybody, and no one enjoyed my humor.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Jeselnik" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-was-a-terrible-employee-i-ve-been-fired-from-almost-every-job-i-ve/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3bc/anthony-jeselnik-1838_employee_i-was-a-terrible-employee-i-ve-been-fire_1470883.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3bc/anthony-jeselnik-1838_employee_i-was-a-terrible-employee-i-ve-been-fire_1470883.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3bc/anthony-jeselnik-1838_employee_i-was-a-terrible-employee-i-ve-been-fire_1470883.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I was a terrible employee. 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You couldn't even keep your baby alive.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Jeselnik" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/every-night-my-girlfriend-comes-home-from-work-and-she-brings-with/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e09/anthony-jeselnik-1838_alive_every-night-my-girlfriend-comes-home-fro_2649160.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e09/anthony-jeselnik-1838_alive_every-night-my-girlfriend-comes-home-fro_2649160.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e09/anthony-jeselnik-1838_alive_every-night-my-girlfriend-comes-home-fro_2649160.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Every night, my girlfriend comes home from work, and she brings with her a houseplant. She's like, 'Anthony…” — Anthony Jeselnik", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it up in my persona. I felt like I wouldn't be able to do stand-up for a career if I was needy. I didn't want to be complaining or whining onstage. I wanted to be cool and do exactly what I wanted to do. That way I would never have to change for anybody.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Jeselnik" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-have-that-need-in-me-i-want-everyone-to-love-me-but-i-m-embarrassed/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/980/anthony-jeselnik-1838_able_i-have-that-need-in-me-i-want-everyone-t_1356.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/980/anthony-jeselnik-1838_able_i-have-that-need-in-me-i-want-everyone-t_1356.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/980/anthony-jeselnik-1838_able_i-have-that-need-in-me-i-want-everyone-t_1356.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover…” — Anthony Jeselnik", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you know? Like, he would tell me that Santa Claus was black - that way, when I found out he didn't exist, it wouldn't be that big a let down.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Jeselnik" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/my-dad-was-a-complicated-man-he-was-a-huge-racist-my-dad-but-he-still/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/768/anthony-jeselnik-1838_bigs_my-dad-was-a-complicated-man-he-was-a-hu_3092738.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/768/anthony-jeselnik-1838_bigs_my-dad-was-a-complicated-man-he-was-a-hu_3092738.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/768/anthony-jeselnik-1838_bigs_my-dad-was-a-complicated-man-he-was-a-hu_3092738.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father, you…” — Anthony Jeselnik", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she refuses. She says, 'No way, Anthony, I'm afraid you're gonna drop him.' I'm 32 years old. Like I'm some kind of idiot. Like I don't have a million other ways to hurt that baby.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Jeselnik" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/my-sister-just-had-a-baby-a-little-newborn-the-kid-is-adorable-so/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/033/anthony-jeselnik-1838_adorable_my-sister-just-had-a-baby-a-little-newbo_2840589.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/033/anthony-jeselnik-1838_adorable_my-sister-just-had-a-baby-a-little-newbo_2840589.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/033/anthony-jeselnik-1838_adorable_my-sister-just-had-a-baby-a-little-newbo_2840589.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My sister just had a baby, a little newborn. The kid is adorable, so cute. She wouldn't let me hold him, she…” — Anthony Jeselnik", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm not just offensive, I'm very smart about the way that I do it, and that takes a lot of time. People say that young comics shouldn't be trying these things. That's ridiculous. You should try everything and see what sticks.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Jeselnik" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-m-not-just-offensive-i-m-very-smart-about-the-way-that-i-do-it-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa7/anthony-jeselnik-1838_about_i-m-not-just-offensive-i-m-very-smart-ab_1753113.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa7/anthony-jeselnik-1838_about_i-m-not-just-offensive-i-m-very-smart-ab_1753113.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa7/anthony-jeselnik-1838_about_i-m-not-just-offensive-i-m-very-smart-ab_1753113.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm not just offensive, I'm very smart about the way that I do it, and that takes a lot of time. People say…” — Anthony Jeselnik", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Usually the beginning of a story that people hear a lot. For example, \"My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut\" or \"My dad keeps losing his car keys.\" And then I just think of different ways the story could end. \"My girlfriend is upset about her new haircut. I don't understand why she's crying. I'm the one who has to get a new girlfriend.\" Then I try it out on stage. I don't do a lot of re-writing. My jokes either work or they don't. 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The audience has to understand that comedians are going to sometimes tell a joke that doesn't work out with dark subjects, and the comedian has to understand that sometimes they 'll fail and it's not the audience's fault for not getting it or loving it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Anthony Jeselnik" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/you-can-t-expect-everyone-to-laugh-or-applaud-you-for-doing-edgy/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/def/anthony-jeselnik-1838_artist_you-can-t-expect-everyone-to-laugh-or-ap_2336037.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/def/anthony-jeselnik-1838_artist_you-can-t-expect-everyone-to-laugh-or-ap_2336037.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/def/anthony-jeselnik-1838_artist_you-can-t-expect-everyone-to-laugh-or-ap_2336037.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You can't expect everyone to laugh or applaud you for doing edgy things. 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