--- title: "13 Want Quotes By Steven Wright" description: "13 Want quotes by Steven Wright. Plus more from Steven Wright and more Want sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0e/steven-wright-432_ads_i-saw-a-want-ad-light-housekeeping-they_1022429.jpg" --- > [I saw a want ad. "light housekeeping." They said "Here, change this bulb." I said "I'll need some friends."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-saw-a-want-ad-light-housekeeping-they-said-here-change-this-bulb-i/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0e/steven-wright-432_ads_i-saw-a-want-ad-light-housekeeping-they_1022429.jpg) > [I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-didn-t-want-to-be-selling-insurance-at-40-wondering-what-would-it/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/418/steven-wright-432_insurance_i-didn-t-want-to-be-selling-insurance-at_1874759.jpg) > [It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/it-s-a-small-world-but-i-wouldn-t-want-to-have-to-paint-it/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ea/steven-wright-432_humor_it-s-a-small-world-but-i-wouldn-t-want-t_1845170.jpg) > [I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-don-t-like-politicians-and-i-don-t-like-politics-i-definitely-don-t/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a4/steven-wright-432_like_i-don-t-like-politicians-and-i-don-t-lik_48613.jpg) > [Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she wants more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/having-sex-with-her-is-incredible-it-s-just-like-a-concert-we-throw/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bd/steven-wright-432_concerts_having-sex-with-her-is-incredible-it-s-j_2930906.jpg) > [My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/my-house-is-made-out-of-balsa-wood-so-when-i-want-to-scare-the/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ed/steven-wright-432_funny_my-house-is-made-out-of-balsa-wood-so-wh_1599184.jpg) > [I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-went-to-this-restaurant-last-night-that-was-set-up-like-a-big/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/208/steven-wright-432_bigs_i-went-to-this-restaurant-last-night-tha_60519.jpg) > [When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/when-i-have-a-kid-i-want-to-buy-one-of-those-strollers-for-twins-then/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/473/steven-wright-432_brother_when-i-have-a-kid-i-want-to-buy-one-of-t_2614222.jpg) > [My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/my-girlfriend-s-weird-one-day-she-asked-me-if-you-could-know-how-and/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b3/steven-wright-432_death_my-girlfriend-s-weird-one-day-she-asked_1522115.jpg) > [I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-made-a-chocolate-cake-with-white-chocolate-then-i-took-it-to-a/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/steven-wright-432_cake_i-made-a-chocolate-cake-with-white-choco_2059418.jpg) > [I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, "Stephen, why haven't you called me?" I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-saw-a-close-friend-of-mine-the-other-day-he-said-stephen-why-haven/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47a/steven-wright-432_calendars_i-saw-a-close-friend-of-mine-the-other-d_149538.jpg) > [I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy 'Let me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-was-in-a-job-interview-and-i-opened-a-book-and-started-reading-then/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a6/steven-wright-432_asks_i-was-in-a-job-interview-and-i-opened-a_425160.jpg) > [Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/honestly-i-just-go-to-restaurants-to-eat-so-i-won-t-die-if-there-was/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/01e/steven-wright-432_cake_honestly-i-just-go-to-restaurants-to-eat_2747679.jpg) ## Other authors on Want ## More by Steven Wright > [Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/depression-is-merely-anger-without-enthusiasm/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/my-dental-hygienist-is-cute-every-time-i-visit-i-eat-a-whole-package/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/if-lawyers-are-disbarred-and-clergymen-defrocked-doesn-t-it-follow/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [If I ever had twins, I'd use one for parts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/if-i-ever-had-twins-i-d-use-one-for-parts/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/nobody-can-really-compare-a-relationship-in-which-the-victim-is-15/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I saw a tree fall in the woods, and I didn't hear it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-saw-a-tree-fall-in-the-woods-and-i-didn-t-hear-it/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/it-s-very-intense-to-be-in-front-of-a-live-audience-it-s-just-an/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-got-pulled-over-by-a-cop-and-he-said-do-you-know-the-speed-limit/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/babies-don-t-need-a-vacation-but-i-still-see-them-at-the-beach-it/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-just-got-out-of-the-hospital-i-was-in-a-speed-reading-accident-i/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/when-i-m-on-stage-it-s-really-intense-my-mind-is-going-a-million/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-don-t-like-politicians-and-i-don-t-like-politics-i-definitely-don-t/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-went-to-this-restaurant-last-night-that-was-set-up-like-a-big/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/why-isn-t-the-number-11-pronounced-onety-one/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/a-conscience-is-what-hurts-when-all-your-other-parts-feel-so-good/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want/steven-wright/#itemlist", "name": "13 Want Quotes By Steven Wright", "numberOfItems": 13, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I saw a want ad. \"light housekeeping.\" They said \"Here, change this bulb.\" I said \"I'll need some friends.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-saw-a-want-ad-light-housekeeping-they-said-here-change-this-bulb-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0e/steven-wright-432_ads_i-saw-a-want-ad-light-housekeeping-they_1022429.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0e/steven-wright-432_ads_i-saw-a-want-ad-light-housekeeping-they_1022429.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0e/steven-wright-432_ads_i-saw-a-want-ad-light-housekeeping-they_1022429.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I saw a want ad. \"light housekeeping.\" They said \"Here, change this bulb.\" I said \"I'll need some friends.\"” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-didn-t-want-to-be-selling-insurance-at-40-wondering-what-would-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/418/steven-wright-432_insurance_i-didn-t-want-to-be-selling-insurance-at_1874759.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/418/steven-wright-432_insurance_i-didn-t-want-to-be-selling-insurance-at_1874759.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/418/steven-wright-432_insurance_i-didn-t-want-to-be-selling-insurance-at_1874759.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I didn't want to be selling insurance at 40, wondering what would it have been like to do stand-up.” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/it-s-a-small-world-but-i-wouldn-t-want-to-have-to-paint-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ea/steven-wright-432_humor_it-s-a-small-world-but-i-wouldn-t-want-t_1845170.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ea/steven-wright-432_humor_it-s-a-small-world-but-i-wouldn-t-want-t_1845170.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ea/steven-wright-432_humor_it-s-a-small-world-but-i-wouldn-t-want-t_1845170.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-don-t-like-politicians-and-i-don-t-like-politics-i-definitely-don-t/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a4/steven-wright-432_like_i-don-t-like-politicians-and-i-don-t-lik_48613.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a4/steven-wright-432_like_i-don-t-like-politicians-and-i-don-t-lik_48613.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a4/steven-wright-432_like_i-don-t-like-politicians-and-i-don-t-lik_48613.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. 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And when she wants more she lights a match.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/having-sex-with-her-is-incredible-it-s-just-like-a-concert-we-throw/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bd/steven-wright-432_concerts_having-sex-with-her-is-incredible-it-s-j_2930906.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bd/steven-wright-432_concerts_having-sex-with-her-is-incredible-it-s-j_2930906.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6bd/steven-wright-432_concerts_having-sex-with-her-is-incredible-it-s-j_2930906.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Having sex with her is incredible. It's just like a concert. We throw Frisbees around the room. And when she…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and tell them to get out of my yard or I'll throw it at them.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/my-house-is-made-out-of-balsa-wood-so-when-i-want-to-scare-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ed/steven-wright-432_funny_my-house-is-made-out-of-balsa-wood-so-wh_1599184.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ed/steven-wright-432_funny_my-house-is-made-out-of-balsa-wood-so-wh_1599184.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ed/steven-wright-432_funny_my-house-is-made-out-of-balsa-wood-so-wh_1599184.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My house is made out of balsa wood, so when I want to scare the neighborhood kids I lift it over my head and…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd think about what kind of food you want, and the table would move across the floor to it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-went-to-this-restaurant-last-night-that-was-set-up-like-a-big/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/208/steven-wright-432_bigs_i-went-to-this-restaurant-last-night-tha_60519.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/208/steven-wright-432_bigs_i-went-to-this-restaurant-last-night-tha_60519.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/208/steven-wright-432_bigs_i-went-to-this-restaurant-last-night-tha_60519.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I went to this restaurant last night that was set up like a big buffet in the shape of an Ouija board. You'd…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic. When he gets older, I'd tell him he used to have a brother, but he didn't obey.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/when-i-have-a-kid-i-want-to-buy-one-of-those-strollers-for-twins-then/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/473/steven-wright-432_brother_when-i-have-a-kid-i-want-to-buy-one-of-t_2614222.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/473/steven-wright-432_brother_when-i-have-a-kid-i-want-to-buy-one-of-t_2614222.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/473/steven-wright-432_brother_when-i-have-a-kid-i-want-to-buy-one-of-t_2614222.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins. Then put the kid in and run around…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would you want to know?' I said, 'No.' She said, 'Okay, forget it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/my-girlfriend-s-weird-one-day-she-asked-me-if-you-could-know-how-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b3/steven-wright-432_death_my-girlfriend-s-weird-one-day-she-asked_1522115.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b3/steven-wright-432_death_my-girlfriend-s-weird-one-day-she-asked_1522115.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b3/steven-wright-432_death_my-girlfriend-s-weird-one-day-she-asked_1522115.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My girlfriend's weird. One day she asked me, 'If you could know how and when you were going to die, would…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake. They said, \"Do you want white cake or chocolate cake?\" I said, \"yes.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-made-a-chocolate-cake-with-white-chocolate-then-i-took-it-to-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/steven-wright-432_cake_i-made-a-chocolate-cake-with-white-choco_2059418.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/steven-wright-432_cake_i-made-a-chocolate-cake-with-white-choco_2059418.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/steven-wright-432_cake_i-made-a-chocolate-cake-with-white-choco_2059418.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I made a chocolate cake with white chocolate. Then I took it to a potluck. I stood in line for some cake…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, \"Stephen, why haven't you called me?\" I said, \"I can't call everyone I want. My new phone has no five on it.\" He said, \"How long have you had it?\" I said, \"I don't know . . . my calendar has no sevens on it.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-saw-a-close-friend-of-mine-the-other-day-he-said-stephen-why-haven/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47a/steven-wright-432_calendars_i-saw-a-close-friend-of-mine-the-other-d_149538.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47a/steven-wright-432_calendars_i-saw-a-close-friend-of-mine-the-other-d_149538.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47a/steven-wright-432_calendars_i-saw-a-close-friend-of-mine-the-other-d_149538.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I saw a close friend of mine the other day. . . . He said, \"Stephen, why haven't you called me?\" I said, \"I…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy 'Let me ask you a question. If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?' He said 'I don't know'. I said 'I don't want your job'.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/i-was-in-a-job-interview-and-i-opened-a-book-and-started-reading-then/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a6/steven-wright-432_asks_i-was-in-a-job-interview-and-i-opened-a_425160.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a6/steven-wright-432_asks_i-was-in-a-job-interview-and-i-opened-a_425160.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a6/steven-wright-432_asks_i-was-in-a-job-interview-and-i-opened-a_425160.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I was in a job interview and I opened a book and started reading. Then I said to the guy 'Let me ask you a…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and then I wouldn't have to eat again for the rest of the year, I would take it. Of course, I wouldn't want to sacrifice my chocolate cake and ice cream.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Steven Wright" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/honestly-i-just-go-to-restaurants-to-eat-so-i-won-t-die-if-there-was/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/01e/steven-wright-432_cake_honestly-i-just-go-to-restaurants-to-eat_2747679.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/01e/steven-wright-432_cake_honestly-i-just-go-to-restaurants-to-eat_2747679.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/01e/steven-wright-432_cake_honestly-i-just-go-to-restaurants-to-eat_2747679.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Honestly, I just go to restaurants to eat so I won't die. If there was a pill I could take in January and…” — Steven Wright", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want/steven-wright/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want/steven-wright/", "name": "Want Quotes by Steven Wright", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want/steven-wright/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0e/steven-wright-432_ads_i-saw-a-want-ad-light-housekeeping-they_1022429.jpg" }, "description": "13 Want quotes by Steven Wright. 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