--- title: "15 Want Quotes By Johnny Carson" description: "15 Want quotes by Johnny Carson. Plus more from Johnny Carson and more Want sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/838/johnny-carson-2644_burger_it-was-so-hot-today-that-burger-king-was_2304258.png" --- > [It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, "if you want it your way, cook it yourself."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/it-was-so-hot-today-that-burger-king-was-singing-if-you-want-it-your/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/838/johnny-carson-2644_burger_it-was-so-hot-today-that-burger-king-was_2304258.png) > [If God didn't want man to hunt, He wouldn't have given us plaid shirts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/if-god-didn-t-want-man-to-hunt-he-wouldn-t-have-given-us-plaid-shirts/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a4/johnny-carson-2644_given_if-god-didn-t-want-man-to-hunt-he-wouldn_2386931.png) > [Do you know my dream? I really want to become an aluminum-siding salesman.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/do-you-know-my-dream-i-really-want-to-become-an-aluminum-siding/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/184/johnny-carson-2644_aluminum_do-you-know-my-dream-i-really-want-to-be_920960.png) > [I heard from my cat's lawyer today; my cat wants $12,000 a week for Tender Vittles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/i-heard-from-my-cat-s-lawyer-today-my-cat-wants-12-000-a-week-for/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd0/johnny-carson-2644_cat_i-heard-from-my-cat-s-lawyer-today-my-ca_783232.png) > [Everybody I meet in public seems to want to audition for me. If I ask a guy what time it is, he'll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/everybody-i-meet-in-public-seems-to-want-to-audition-for-me-if-i-ask/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/190/johnny-carson-2644_asks_everybody-i-meet-in-public-seems-to-want_425212.png) > [It was so hot today I saw a robin dipping his worm in Nestea.It was so hot today I saw a pigeon…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/it-was-so-hot-today-i-saw-a-robin-dipping-his-worm-in-nestea-it-was/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/johnny-carson-2644_burger-king_it-was-so-hot-today-i-saw-a-robin-dippin_481195.png) > [Entertainment is like any other major industry; it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/entertainment-is-like-any-other-major-industry-it-s-cold-big-business/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ceb/johnny-carson-2644_big-business_entertainment-is-like-any-other-major-in_2576648.jpg) > [As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/as-long-as-i-don-t-commit-any-crimes-you-have-no-right-to-judge-me/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d6/johnny-carson-2644_commit_as-long-as-i-don-t-commit-any-crimes-you_1685222.png) > [I'm an entertainer; I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/i-m-an-entertainer-i-try-to-give-the-public-what-it-wants-while-i-m/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a1/johnny-carson-2644_boys_i-m-an-entertainer-i-try-to-give-the-pub_1958077.png) > [People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/people-are-hypocrites-if-you-ask-them-what-they-want-to-see-on-tv/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23a/johnny-carson-2644_asks_people-are-hypocrites-if-you-ask-them-wh_1319895.png) > [I have no use for eight houses, 88 cars and 500 suits. I can't eat but one steak at a time. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/i-have-no-use-for-eight-houses-88-cars-and-500-suits-i-can-t-eat-but/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/047/johnny-carson-2644_accumulating-wealth_i-have-no-use-for-eight-houses-88-cars-a_1595667.png) > [NBC's a little jealous of CNN correspondent Wolf Blitzer. They want to get a reporter with a macho-sounding name too, so they're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/nbc-s-a-little-jealous-of-cnn-correspondent-wolf-blitzer-they-want-to/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84b/johnny-carson-2644_cnn_nbc-s-a-little-jealous-of-cnn-correspond_2473185.png) > [Audiences have proved time and again that they don't want a steady diet of any entertainer airing his social views - especially…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/audiences-have-proved-time-and-again-that-they-don-t-want-a-steady/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d7/johnny-carson-2644_audience_audiences-have-proved-time-and-again-tha_702865.png) > [The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social revolution. In…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/the-vast-majority-of-us-don-t-want-to-face-the-fact-that-we-re-in-the/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d92/johnny-carson-2644_bigs_the-vast-majority-of-us-don-t-want-to-fa_363247.jpg) > [Who cares what entertainers on the air think about international affairs? Who would want to hear me about Vietnam? They can hear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/who-cares-what-entertainers-on-the-air-think-about-international/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/johnny-carson-2644_affair_who-cares-what-entertainers-on-the-air-t_3235885.png) ## Other authors on Want ## More by Johnny Carson > [It's silly to have as one's sole object in life just making money, accumulating wealth. I work because I enjoy what I'm doing, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/it-s-silly-to-have-as-one-s-sole-object-in-life-just-making-money/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [The only issue cash presents you is the independence of not stressing about funds.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/the-only-issue-cash-presents-you-is-the-independence-of-not-stressing/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [ I can empathize with President \[George Bush\]. I know what it feels like having a young guy waiting around for you to keel over. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/i-can-empathize-with-president-george-bush-i-know-what-it-feels-like/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [From the time I was a little kid, I was always shy. Performing was when I was outgoing. So I guess I am a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/from-the-time-i-was-a-little-kid-i-was-always-shy-performing-was-when/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [ I'm often asked, "What is your favorite moment during the 30 years you hosted \[The Tonight Show\]?" I really don't have just one. The… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/i-m-often-asked-what-is-your-favorite-moment-during-the-30-years-you/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [For days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow, but phone calls taper off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/for-days-after-death-hair-and-fingernails-continue-to-grow-but-phone/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [Money gives me just one big thing that's really important, and that's the freedom of not having to worry about money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/money-gives-me-just-one-big-thing-that-s-really-important-and-that-s/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/in-hollywood-if-you-don-t-have-a-shrink-people-think-you-re-crazy/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [Ronald Reagan just signed the new tax law. But I think he was in Hollywood too long. He signed it, 'Best wishes, Ronald Reagan.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/ronald-reagan-just-signed-the-new-tax-law-but-i-think-he-was-in/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [The good news is that the president gets another chance. The bad news is that he'll be two weeks older.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/the-good-news-is-that-the-president-gets-another-chance-the-bad-news/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/anytime-four-new-yorkers-get-into-a-cab-together-without-arguing-a/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/for-three-days-after-death-hair-and-fingernails-continue-to-grow-but/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [Democracy means free television, not good television, but free.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/democracy-means-free-television-not-good-television-but-free/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/i-know-a-man-who-gave-up-smoking-drinking-sex-and-rich-food-he-was/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) > [Never ask your wife if she still hears from her old pimp.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/never-ask-your-wife-if-she-still-hears-from-her-old-pimp/) [Johnny Carson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-carson/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want/johnny-carson/#itemlist", "name": "15 Want Quotes By Johnny Carson", "numberOfItems": 15, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, \"if you want it your way, cook it yourself.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Johnny Carson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/it-was-so-hot-today-that-burger-king-was-singing-if-you-want-it-your/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/838/johnny-carson-2644_burger_it-was-so-hot-today-that-burger-king-was_2304258.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/838/johnny-carson-2644_burger_it-was-so-hot-today-that-burger-king-was_2304258.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/838/johnny-carson-2644_burger_it-was-so-hot-today-that-burger-king-was_2304258.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It was so hot today that Burger King was singing, \"if you want it your way, cook it yourself.\"” — Johnny Carson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If God didn't want man to hunt, He wouldn't have given us plaid shirts.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Johnny Carson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/if-god-didn-t-want-man-to-hunt-he-wouldn-t-have-given-us-plaid-shirts/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a4/johnny-carson-2644_given_if-god-didn-t-want-man-to-hunt-he-wouldn_2386931.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a4/johnny-carson-2644_given_if-god-didn-t-want-man-to-hunt-he-wouldn_2386931.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a4/johnny-carson-2644_given_if-god-didn-t-want-man-to-hunt-he-wouldn_2386931.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If God didn't want man to hunt, He wouldn't have given us plaid shirts.” — Johnny Carson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Do you know my dream? 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The business end wants to know one thing: Can you do the job? If you can, you're in, you're made; if you can't, you're out.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Johnny Carson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/entertainment-is-like-any-other-major-industry-it-s-cold-big-business/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ceb/johnny-carson-2644_big-business_entertainment-is-like-any-other-major-in_2576648.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ceb/johnny-carson-2644_big-business_entertainment-is-like-any-other-major-in_2576648.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ceb/johnny-carson-2644_big-business_entertainment-is-like-any-other-major-in_2576648.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Entertainment is like any other major industry; it's cold, big business. The business end wants to know one…” — Johnny Carson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a professional. On that level, you're welcome to think whatever you want about me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Johnny Carson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/as-long-as-i-don-t-commit-any-crimes-you-have-no-right-to-judge-me/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d6/johnny-carson-2644_commit_as-long-as-i-don-t-commit-any-crimes-you_1685222.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d6/johnny-carson-2644_commit_as-long-as-i-don-t-commit-any-crimes-you_1685222.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d6/johnny-carson-2644_commit_as-long-as-i-don-t-commit-any-crimes-you_1685222.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“As long as I don't commit any crimes, you have no right to judge me except by my performance as a…” — Johnny Carson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm an entertainer; I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely sincere about it. If I don't happen to be a laughing boy off the screen, that doesn't make me a hypocrite or a phony.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Johnny Carson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/i-m-an-entertainer-i-try-to-give-the-public-what-it-wants-while-i-m/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a1/johnny-carson-2644_boys_i-m-an-entertainer-i-try-to-give-the-pub_1958077.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a1/johnny-carson-2644_boys_i-m-an-entertainer-i-try-to-give-the-pub_1958077.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a1/johnny-carson-2644_boys_i-m-an-entertainer-i-try-to-give-the-pub_1958077.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm an entertainer; I try to give the public what it wants while I'm on the screen, and I'm completely…” — Johnny Carson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better quality programming. And then what do they watch? 'Gilligan's Island.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Johnny Carson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/people-are-hypocrites-if-you-ask-them-what-they-want-to-see-on-tv/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23a/johnny-carson-2644_asks_people-are-hypocrites-if-you-ask-them-wh_1319895.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23a/johnny-carson-2644_asks_people-are-hypocrites-if-you-ask-them-wh_1319895.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23a/johnny-carson-2644_asks_people-are-hypocrites-if-you-ask-them-wh_1319895.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People are hypocrites. If you ask them what they want to see on TV, they'll tell you they want better…” — Johnny Carson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have no use for eight houses, 88 cars and 500 suits. I can't eat but one steak at a time. I don't want but one woman. It's silly to have as one's sole object in life just making money, accumulating wealth.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Johnny Carson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/i-have-no-use-for-eight-houses-88-cars-and-500-suits-i-can-t-eat-but/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/047/johnny-carson-2644_accumulating-wealth_i-have-no-use-for-eight-houses-88-cars-a_1595667.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/047/johnny-carson-2644_accumulating-wealth_i-have-no-use-for-eight-houses-88-cars-a_1595667.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/047/johnny-carson-2644_accumulating-wealth_i-have-no-use-for-eight-houses-88-cars-a_1595667.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have no use for eight houses, 88 cars and 500 suits. I can't eat but one steak at a time. I don't want but…” — Johnny Carson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "NBC's a little jealous of CNN correspondent Wolf Blitzer. They want to get a reporter with a macho-sounding name too, so they're changing Irving R. Levine's name to Scud Shrapnel.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Johnny Carson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/nbc-s-a-little-jealous-of-cnn-correspondent-wolf-blitzer-they-want-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84b/johnny-carson-2644_cnn_nbc-s-a-little-jealous-of-cnn-correspond_2473185.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84b/johnny-carson-2644_cnn_nbc-s-a-little-jealous-of-cnn-correspond_2473185.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84b/johnny-carson-2644_cnn_nbc-s-a-little-jealous-of-cnn-correspond_2473185.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“NBC's a little jealous of CNN correspondent Wolf Blitzer. 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In sex. In spiritual values. In opposition to wars no one wants. In opposition to government big-brotherhood. In civil rights. In basic human goals. They're all facets of a general upheaval.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Johnny Carson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/the-vast-majority-of-us-don-t-want-to-face-the-fact-that-we-re-in-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d92/johnny-carson-2644_bigs_the-vast-majority-of-us-don-t-want-to-fa_363247.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d92/johnny-carson-2644_bigs_the-vast-majority-of-us-don-t-want-to-fa_363247.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d92/johnny-carson-2644_bigs_the-vast-majority-of-us-don-t-want-to-fa_363247.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The vast majority of us don't want to face the fact that we're in the middle of a sweeping social…” — Johnny Carson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Who cares what entertainers on the air think about international affairs? Who would want to hear me about Vietnam? They can hear all they want from people with reason to be respected as knowledgeable.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Johnny Carson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-carson/who-cares-what-entertainers-on-the-air-think-about-international/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/johnny-carson-2644_affair_who-cares-what-entertainers-on-the-air-t_3235885.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/johnny-carson-2644_affair_who-cares-what-entertainers-on-the-air-t_3235885.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/johnny-carson-2644_affair_who-cares-what-entertainers-on-the-air-t_3235885.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Who cares what entertainers on the air think about international affairs? 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