---
title: "19 Want Quotes By Dennis Miller"
description: "19 Want quotes by Dennis Miller. Plus more from Dennis Miller and more Want sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b6/dennis-miller-1315_clueless_i-want-to-help-the-helpless-but-i-don-t_2905290.png"
---

> [I want to help the helpless, but I don't want to help the clueless.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-want-to-help-the-helpless-but-i-don-t-want-to-help-the-clueless/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b6/dennis-miller-1315_clueless_i-want-to-help-the-helpless-but-i-don-t_2905290.png)

> [If I want low-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate. If I want high-impact aerobics, I'll masturbate again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/if-i-want-low-impact-aerobics-i-ll-masturbate-if-i-want-high-impact/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df4/dennis-miller-1315_aerobics_if-i-want-low-impact-aerobics-i-ll-mastu_2212058.png)

> [A developer is someone who wants to build a house in the woods. An environmentalist is someone who already has a house…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/a-developer-is-someone-who-wants-to-build-a-house-in-the-woods-an/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bcc/dennis-miller-1315_climate_a-developer-is-someone-who-wants-to-buil_2950627.png)

> [Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/now-i-don-t-want-to-get-off-on-a-rant-here-but-guilt-is-simply-god-s/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1db/dennis-miller-1315_guilt_now-i-don-t-want-to-get-off-on-a-rant-he_3129580.png)

> [Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women just want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/women-don-t-like-guys-who-are-dangerous-women-just-want-us-to-think/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/466/dennis-miller-1315_dangerous_women-don-t-like-guys-who-are-dangerous_1373197.png)

> [If somebody wants to shoot up and die in front of you, more power to them. The herd has a way of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/if-somebody-wants-to-shoot-up-and-die-in-front-of-you-more-power-to/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/da1/dennis-miller-1315_dies_if-somebody-wants-to-shoot-up-and-die-in_2779073.png)

> [I love this country for several reasons, not the least of which is that I know I'm allowed to hate it if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-love-this-country-for-several-reasons-not-the-least-of-which-is/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ab9/dennis-miller-1315_country_i-love-this-country-for-several-reasons_1253980.png)

> [For the foreseeable future, we're going to need oil products because I don't like the idea of hydrogen cars. I'm not sure…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/for-the-foreseeable-future-we-re-going-to-need-oil-products-because-i/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/dennis-miller-1315_car_for-the-foreseeable-future-we-re-going-t_2549240.png)

> [Everyone wants answers and wants to know what the timeline is. Unfortunately, it's a complex situation, and we don't have the final…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/everyone-wants-answers-and-wants-to-know-what-the-timeline-is/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f38/dennis-miller-1315_answers_everyone-wants-answers-and-wants-to-know_3191113.png)

> [Human beings are human beings. They say what they want, don't they? They used to say it across the fence while they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/human-beings-are-human-beings-they-say-what-they-want-don-t-they-they/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/721/dennis-miller-1315_fence_human-beings-are-human-beings-they-say-w_1897144.png)

> [Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/then-people-ask-me-if-i-m-worried-about-the-effects-of-global-warming/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f6b/dennis-miller-1315_ask-me_then-people-ask-me-if-i-m-worried-about_2387547.png)

> [I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-m-left-on-a-lot-of-things-if-two-gay-guys-want-to-get-married-i/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6d/dennis-miller-1315_blow_i-m-left-on-a-lot-of-things-if-two-gay-g_62082.png)

> [I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-think-abortion-s-wrong-but-it-s-none-of-my-business-to-tell/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/306/dennis-miller-1315_abortion_i-think-abortion-s-wrong-but-it-s-none-o_91570.png)

> [I've grown fonder for Hillary Clinton since she ran for the presidency. I think that it's emblematic of the Rolling Stones song,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-ve-grown-fonder-for-hillary-clinton-since-she-ran-for-the/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ce/dennis-miller-1315_bats_i-ve-grown-fonder-for-hillary-clinton-si_324294.png)

> [Seems to me we move the furniture, the French come in later and put the doilies on top of it...It's a simple…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/seems-to-me-we-move-the-furniture-the-french-come-in-later-and-put/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e67/dennis-miller-1315_dirty_seems-to-me-we-move-the-furniture-the-fr_2242120.png)

> [Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/liberals-should-not-overplay-this-weapons-of-mass-destruction-card/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/449/dennis-miller-1315_care_liberals-should-not-overplay-this-weapon_1393127.png)

> [The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-second-type-you-have-at-these-parades-seems-to-be-the-people-who/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/560/dennis-miller-1315_disagree_the-second-type-you-have-at-these-parade_1553361.png)

> [A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/a-third-myth-is-that-men-think-that-women-like-guys-who-are-dangerous/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/390/dennis-miller-1315_cigarette_a-third-myth-is-that-men-think-that-wome_3166057.png)

> [The ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-aclu-spent-this-entire-holiday-season-protesting-public-displays/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c1/dennis-miller-1315_america_the-aclu-spent-this-entire-holiday-seaso_2465025.jpg)

## Other authors on Want

## More by Dennis Miller

> [Laughter is one of the great beacons in life because we don't refract it by gunning it through our intellectual prism. What makes us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/laughter-is-one-of-the-great-beacons-in-life-because-we-don-t-refract/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [It takes zero politically correct people to screw in a lightbulb because they are perpetually in the dark.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/it-takes-zero-politically-correct-people-to-screw-in-a-lightbulb/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Drop the veneer periodically and be like "OK, I'm an imperfect human. Let's try to get through this."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/drop-the-veneer-periodically-and-be-like-ok-i-m-an-imperfect-human/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [I'm left on a lot of things. If two gay guys want to get married, I could care less. If a nut case from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-m-left-on-a-lot-of-things-if-two-gay-guys-want-to-get-married-i/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [American's could be any more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/american-s-could-be-any-more-self-absorbed-if-they-were-made-of-equal/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Nowadays, with history not being taught anymore in American public schools, self-esteem is taking its place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/nowadays-with-history-not-being-taught-anymore-in-american-public/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-think-abortion-s-wrong-but-it-s-none-of-my-business-to-tell/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Americans stick their nose where it doesn't belong more than Cyrano de Bergerac giving head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/americans-stick-their-nose-where-it-doesn-t-belong-more-than-cyrano/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/we-need-anything-politically-important-rationed-out-like-pez-small/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Dennis Kucinich's politics are more scrambled than Rod Steiger's dream journal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/dennis-kucinich-s-politics-are-more-scrambled-than-rod-steiger-s/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [Somebody call Janet Reno - I think I just saw Donato dragging Doug Flutie into a locker room closet!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/somebody-call-janet-reno-i-think-i-just-saw-donato-dragging-doug/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [I have sympathy for any human being that's driven by their limbic part of their brain. We all know that exists in a person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-have-sympathy-for-any-human-being-that-s-driven-by-their-limbic/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [I haven't seen someone so overmatched since Mike Tyson tried to recite the alphabet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/i-haven-t-seen-someone-so-overmatched-since-mike-tyson-tried-to/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [ There's a lot of differing data \[about global warming\], but as far as I can gather, over the last hundred years the temperature on… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/there-s-a-lot-of-differing-data-about-global-warming-but-as-far-as-i/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

> [The good thing about Pittsburgh, it's a good place to be raised... it doesn't tolerate assholes. You're either a good guy or you're a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-miller/the-good-thing-about-pittsburgh-it-s-a-good-place-to-be-raised-it/)

[Dennis Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-miller/)

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                        "text": "Then people ask me if I'm worried about the effects of global warming on my kids. Well, obviously I love my kids and I want them to live to be a 100. So that's another 1.8. My kids' kids? Three point six. I'll just tell them we moved to Phoenix.",
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                        "text": "I think abortion's wrong, but it's none of my business to tell somebody what's wrong, he said. So I'm pro-choice. I want to keep my nose out of other people's personal business. I guess I fall into conservative when it comes to protecting the United States in a world where a lot of people hate the United States.",
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                        "text": "I've grown fonder for Hillary Clinton since she ran for the presidency. I think that it's emblematic of the Rolling Stones song, you can't always get what you want, i.e., the grail. Sometimes you get what you need. And whatever she's gotten over the last couple of years, being humbled or be it being humbled and see the proletariat come to bat for her, getting outside of the bubble, getting out of this man's shadow, not quite getting the job she wants but a great wonk job.",
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                        "text": "Seems to me we move the furniture, the French come in later and put the doilies on top of it...It's a simple fact they've always been reluctant to surrender to the wishes of their friends and are almost anticipatory in their urge to surrender to wishes of their enemies. And if they want to get their hands dirty now they're just gonna have to run 'em through their own hair.",
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                        "text": "Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.",
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                        "text": "The second type you have at these parades seems to be the people who want to mislabel Hitler. Everybody in the world is Hitler. Bush is Hitler, Ashcroft is Hitler, Rumsfeld is Hitler. The only guy who isn't Hitler is the foreign guy with a mustache dropping people who disagree with him into the wood chipper. He's not Hitler.",
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                        "text": "A third myth is that men think that women like guys who are dangerous. As a result, guys will often smoke cigarettes, drink too much, and ride a motorcycle without a helmet. The reality? Women don't like guys who are dangerous. Women want us to think that because women are trying to kill us.",
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                        "text": "The ACLU spent this entire holiday season protesting public displays of the nativity scene. Yeah, that's the problem with America right now: Public displays of Christ's birth, that's the problem. It's unbelievable to me. The ACLU will no longer fight for your right to put up a nativity scene, but they'll fight for the right of the local freak who wants to stumble onto the scene and have sex with one of the sheep.",
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