---
title: "16 Want Quotes By Dana Gould"
description: "16 Want quotes by Dana Gould. Plus more from Dana Gould and more Want sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66b/dana-gould-1290_happiness_want-to-be-happy-don-t-live-competitivel_1098557.png"
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> [Want to be happy? Don't live competitively. Be content who you are. Live at peace with yourself and the losers below you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/want-to-be-happy-don-t-live-competitively-be-content-who-you-are-live/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66b/dana-gould-1290_happiness_want-to-be-happy-don-t-live-competitivel_1098557.png)

> [Cupcakes - when you want to watch your weight, but still feel the pride that comes with eating an entire cake.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/cupcakes-when-you-want-to-watch-your-weight-but-still-feel-the-pride/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/979/dana-gould-1290_cake_cupcakes-when-you-want-to-watch-your-wei_527527.png)

> [As I die, and my life flashes before my eyes, I want to see who made faces at me when I turned…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/as-i-die-and-my-life-flashes-before-my-eyes-i-want-to-see-who-made/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d67/dana-gould-1290_dies_as-i-die-and-my-life-flashes-before-my-e_694066.png)

> [Where is the good will in the thought, I was going to throw this in the garbage, do you want to wear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/where-is-the-good-will-in-the-thought-i-was-going-to-throw-this-in/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c67/dana-gould-1290_fashion_where-is-the-good-will-in-the-thought-i_2026812.png)

> [My dog keeps looking at me as if he knows my secret, as if he and he alone can see my soul.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/my-dog-keeps-looking-at-me-as-if-he-knows-my-secret-as-if-he-and-he/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/957/dana-gould-1290_animal_my-dog-keeps-looking-at-me-as-if-he-know_2044151.png)

> [In a world of war, pain and suffering, all I want for Christmas is an underwater watch and a silver clutch rod…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/in-a-world-of-war-pain-and-suffering-all-i-want-for-christmas-is-an/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/551/dana-gould-1290_bike_in-a-world-of-war-pain-and-suffering-all_1265624.png)

> [I don't want to appear to be placing blame, but as far my life is concerned, everything is pretty much my dad's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-don-t-want-to-appear-to-be-placing-blame-but-as-far-my-life-is/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e2/dana-gould-1290_balls_i-don-t-want-to-appear-to-be-placing-bla_3008597.png)

> [If my dog wants to know why I didn't feed him this morning, he may want to rethink walking out of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-my-dog-wants-to-know-why-i-didn-t-feed-him-this-morning-he-may/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e3/dana-gould-1290_animal_if-my-dog-wants-to-know-why-i-didn-t-fee_336091.png)

> [I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-feel-very-uncomfortable-when-i-eat-in-restaurants-i-m-obnoxiously/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd7/dana-gould-1290_feels_i-feel-very-uncomfortable-when-i-eat-in_94537.png)

> [My daughter will say she's hungry, and I'm like, 'Buddy, you're just bored. Do you understand? And you're already starting a pattern…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/my-daughter-will-say-she-s-hungry-and-i-m-like-buddy-you-re-just/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f9f/dana-gould-1290_bored_my-daughter-will-say-she-s-hungry-and-i_1073091.jpg)

> [No one has ever thought this: Now that I'm out of therapy and have fixed my mental problems, I think I want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/no-one-has-ever-thought-this-now-that-i-m-out-of-therapy-and-have/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/161/dana-gould-1290_fixed_no-one-has-ever-thought-this-now-that-i_1173062.png)

> [If you want to see what I'll look like as an old guy, check out any recent photo of me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-you-want-to-see-what-i-ll-look-like-as-an-old-guy-check-out-any/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/722/dana-gould-1290_checks_if-you-want-to-see-what-i-ll-look-like-a_2349647.png)

> [I don't want to say my mom is late on trends, but this morning she said, Have a shagadelic day, sweetheart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-don-t-want-to-say-my-mom-is-late-on-trends-but-this-morning-she/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/785/dana-gould-1290_late_i-don-t-want-to-say-my-mom-is-late-on-tr_1096136.png)

> [One phrase you don't want kicking off your obituary is, Never, in the long history of bungee jumping.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/one-phrase-you-don-t-want-kicking-off-your-obituary-is-never-in-the/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/170/dana-gould-1290_bungee_one-phrase-you-don-t-want-kicking-off-yo_2092623.png)

> [Drum Competitions are called such because no one wants to win the big Beat Off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/drum-competitions-are-called-such-because-no-one-wants-to-win-the-big/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f7e/dana-gould-1290_beats_drum-competitions-are-called-such-becaus_2890756.png)

> [I want to leave the world as I entered it: naked and crying in a room full of strangers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-want-to-leave-the-world-as-i-entered-it-naked-and-crying-in-a-room/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5b0/dana-gould-1290_cry_i-want-to-leave-the-world-as-i-entered-i_2161584.png)

## Other authors on Want

## More by Dana Gould

> [As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/as-hard-as-i-try-to-live-with-some-degree-of-faith-in-my-life-i-just/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [The older I get, the more I look like my favorite shoes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/the-older-i-get-the-more-i-look-like-my-favorite-shoes/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/somewhere-there-s-someone-who-s-masturbation-ritual-ends-with-them/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-feel-very-uncomfortable-when-i-eat-in-restaurants-i-m-obnoxiously/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/cowboy-boots-with-a-suit-you-re-a-rough-tough-businessman-chaps-with/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [Despite a primitive brain, the octopus possesses an intricate system that helps it decide which tentacle to masturbate with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/despite-a-primitive-brain-the-octopus-possesses-an-intricate-system/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-got-mugged-about-six-months-ago-the-oddest-thing-about-the-entire/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-m-the-forrest-gump-of-comedy/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/it-s-gonna-be-awesome-a-suspected-pedophile-dunks-my-kids-head-in-a/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-i-ever-go-into-a-coma-one-of-you-has-to-promise-to-come-by/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/they-say-that-god-is-in-the-details-then-again-they-also-say-that-the/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-have-one-phobia-snakes-and-by-snakes-i-mean-intimacy/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [My whole approach to marriage is simple: my wife will do something that drives me insane, I won't say anything, and then, later, I'll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/my-whole-approach-to-marriage-is-simple-my-wife-will-do-something/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/wrote-a-science-fiction-novel-about-a-man-who-wins-an-argument-with/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

> [If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-life-begins-at-conception-but-you-can-be-born-again-later-only-to/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

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