--- title: "13 Want Quotes By Brian Regan" description: "13 Want quotes by Brian Regan. Plus more from Brian Regan and more Want sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d6/brian-regan-3918_arab_hey-you-know-who-i-feel-bad-for-arab-ame_1537403.png" --- > [Hey, you know who I feel bad for? Arab-Americans who truly want to get into crop dusting.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/hey-you-know-who-i-feel-bad-for-arab-americans-who-truly-want-to-get/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d6/brian-regan-3918_arab_hey-you-know-who-i-feel-bad-for-arab-ame_1537403.png) > [I am happy doing standup so I don't ever want to stop doing it. But I wouldn't mind venturing off and doing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-am-happy-doing-standup-so-i-don-t-ever-want-to-stop-doing-it-but-i/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b46/brian-regan-3918_comedy_i-am-happy-doing-standup-so-i-don-t-ever_41884.png) > [It means a lot to me to have my kids like what I do. And that's why I limit them. But I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/it-means-a-lot-to-me-to-have-my-kids-like-what-i-do-and-that-s-why-i/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ec/brian-regan-3918_fans_it-means-a-lot-to-me-to-have-my-kids-lik_2252910.jpg) > [I'm honored that other comedians like what I do. That means the world to me. But at the same time when I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-m-honored-that-other-comedians-like-what-i-do-that-means-the-world/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70c/brian-regan-3918_audience_i-m-honored-that-other-comedians-like-wh_2968154.jpg) > [Superhero power... I probably would just want to fly. I definitely would not want to be able to see through walls. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/superhero-power-i-probably-would-just-want-to-fly-i-definitely-would/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/960/brian-regan-3918_able_superhero-power-i-probably-would-just-wa_1864332.png) > [You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/you-can-microwave-a-pop-tart-that-just-blew-me-away-that-you-could-do/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/brian-regan-3918_dark_you-can-microwave-a-pop-tart-that-just-b_963043.png) > [ The ultimate objective \[of comedy\] is to get a laugh, so if you can get a laugh off the fact that you… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-get-a-laugh-so-if-you-can-get/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e52/brian-regan-3918_brain_the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-g_1605012.png) > [I try to be careful not to put the cart before the horse. I try not to create comedy for other comedians…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-try-to-be-careful-not-to-put-the-cart-before-the-horse-i-try-not-to/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c1/brian-regan-3918_audience_i-try-to-be-careful-not-to-put-the-cart_790342.png) > [Politicians have a lot to deal with these days. It's a different world. You know who I feel bad for? Arab Americans…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/politicians-have-a-lot-to-deal-with-these-days-it-s-a-different-world/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/565/brian-regan-3918_arab_politicians-have-a-lot-to-deal-with-thes_2796860.png) > [Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. But if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-one-does-topical-material-it/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/brian-regan-3918_court_relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-on_149127.png) > [I go in for the eye test, and I don't know about you, but I concentrate like crazy during the eye exam.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-go-in-for-the-eye-test-and-i-don-t-know-about-you-but-i-concentrate/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/485/brian-regan-3918_bigs_i-go-in-for-the-eye-test-and-i-don-t-kno_976093.png) > [The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/the-only-way-i-d-want-to-do-something-in-television-would-be-if-it/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/582/brian-regan-3918_able_the-only-way-i-d-want-to-do-something-in_2892869.jpg) > [I have a friend who swears by food combinations - have you heard of this nonsense? She's nuts. She's like, 'You know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-have-a-friend-who-swears-by-food-combinations-have-you-heard-of/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa7/brian-regan-3918_combination_i-have-a-friend-who-swears-by-food-combi_2863700.png) ## Other authors on Want ## More by Brian Regan > [I am happy doing standup so I don't ever want to stop doing it. But I wouldn't mind venturing off and doing other things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-am-happy-doing-standup-so-i-don-t-ever-want-to-stop-doing-it-but-i/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [Don't let dialog about your company happen without your perspective.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/don-t-let-dialog-about-your-company-happen-without-your-perspective/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [If a movie makes it really big, they do the obvious thing, right? They make an amusement park ride out of it. ... The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/if-a-movie-makes-it-really-big-they-do-the-obvious-thing-right-they/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [Hooked on Phonics worked for me](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/hooked-on-phonics-worked-for-me/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [I thought yoga was easy - I went out and I bought a yoga video tape. I bought the beginners' yoga tape. I couldn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-thought-yoga-was-easy-i-went-out-and-i-bought-a-yoga-video-tape-i/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-eat-fig-newtons-by-the-sleeve/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [The government will pay certain farmers to not grow corn. Wow. Where's my check? That'd be great. "Hey, what do you do for a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/the-government-will-pay-certain-farmers-to-not-grow-corn-wow-where-s/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. But if someone talks…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-one-does-topical-material-it/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [I drove myself to the Emergency Room. That's a nice relaxing drive. "Noooo, after you. Merge-everybody merge."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-drove-myself-to-the-emergency-room-that-s-a-nice-relaxing-drive/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [You can poke fun at some pretty difficult circumstances, and it's just a way to pop the bubble. I don't do that thing onstage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/you-can-poke-fun-at-some-pretty-difficult-circumstances-and-it-s-just/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/you-know-i-could-go-for-a-sandwich-but-uh-i-m-not-gonna-open-two-jars/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [“I" before "E" except after "C" and when sounding like "A" as in neighbor and weigh, and on weekends and holidays and all throughout…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-before-e-except-after-c-and-when-sounding-like-a-as-in-neighbor-and/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [The big yellow one is the sun!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/the-big-yellow-one-is-the-sun/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [I'm trying to do things I have never done. Like I recently went to 3 different ballets. And I loved trying to learn how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-m-trying-to-do-things-i-have-never-done-like-i-recently-went-to-3/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) > [Don't like when sports interviewers force answers: Are you dedicating this game to your sick grandmother? What's the guy supposed to say?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/don-t-like-when-sports-interviewers-force-answers-are-you-dedicating/) [Brian Regan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brian-regan/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want/brian-regan/#itemlist", "name": "13 Want Quotes By Brian Regan", "numberOfItems": 13, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Hey, you know who I feel bad for? 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I want to make everybody laugh.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-m-honored-that-other-comedians-like-what-i-do-that-means-the-world/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70c/brian-regan-3918_audience_i-m-honored-that-other-comedians-like-wh_2968154.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70c/brian-regan-3918_audience_i-m-honored-that-other-comedians-like-wh_2968154.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70c/brian-regan-3918_audience_i-m-honored-that-other-comedians-like-wh_2968154.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm honored that other comedians like what I do. That means the world to me. But at the same time when I'm…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Superhero power... I probably would just want to fly. I definitely would not want to be able to see through walls. I think walls are there for a reason. People put them up for a reason. You don't want to be looking through them. That would only cause nothing but misery and angst to know what's happening behind people's walls.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/superhero-power-i-probably-would-just-want-to-fly-i-definitely-would/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/960/brian-regan-3918_able_superhero-power-i-probably-would-just-wa_1864332.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/960/brian-regan-3918_able_superhero-power-i-probably-would-just-wa_1864332.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/960/brian-regan-3918_able_superhero-power-i-probably-would-just-wa_1864332.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Superhero power... I probably would just want to fly. I definitely would not want to be able to see through…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to toast a Pop Tart? A minute and a half if you want it dark? People don't have that kind of time? Listen, if you need to zap-fry your Pop Tarts before you head out the door, you might want to loosen up your schedule.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/you-can-microwave-a-pop-tart-that-just-blew-me-away-that-you-could-do/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/brian-regan-3918_dark_you-can-microwave-a-pop-tart-that-just-b_963043.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/brian-regan-3918_dark_you-can-microwave-a-pop-tart-that-just-b_963043.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d4/brian-regan-3918_dark_you-can-microwave-a-pop-tart-that-just-b_963043.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to toast…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The ultimate objective [of comedy] is to get a laugh, so if you can get a laugh off the fact that you did not get a laugh, then you've kinda saved the moment. Other professions don't have that luxury. You don't want to hear a brain surgeon say, \"Man, am I so stupid! I cut on the wrong side of your head!!\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-get-a-laugh-so-if-you-can-get/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e52/brian-regan-3918_brain_the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-g_1605012.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e52/brian-regan-3918_brain_the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-g_1605012.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e52/brian-regan-3918_brain_the-ultimate-objective-of-comedy-is-to-g_1605012.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The ultimate objective [of comedy] is to get a laugh, so if you can get a laugh off the fact that you did…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I try to be careful not to put the cart before the horse. I try not to create comedy for other comedians to like. I want everybody to like it. I want audiences to like it, but I also want comedians to like it. I'm selfish. I want everybody to laugh!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-try-to-be-careful-not-to-put-the-cart-before-the-horse-i-try-not-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c1/brian-regan-3918_audience_i-try-to-be-careful-not-to-put-the-cart_790342.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c1/brian-regan-3918_audience_i-try-to-be-careful-not-to-put-the-cart_790342.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c1/brian-regan-3918_audience_i-try-to-be-careful-not-to-put-the-cart_790342.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I try to be careful not to put the cart before the horse. I try not to create comedy for other comedians to…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Politicians have a lot to deal with these days. It's a different world. You know who I feel bad for? Arab Americans who truly want to get into crop dusting. Could be their life long dream, and every time they ask for a pamphlet, all hell breaks loose.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/politicians-have-a-lot-to-deal-with-these-days-it-s-a-different-world/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/565/brian-regan-3918_arab_politicians-have-a-lot-to-deal-with-thes_2796860.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/565/brian-regan-3918_arab_politicians-have-a-lot-to-deal-with-thes_2796860.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/565/brian-regan-3918_arab_politicians-have-a-lot-to-deal-with-thes_2796860.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Politicians have a lot to deal with these days. It's a different world. You know who I feel bad for? Arab…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. But if someone talks about donut sprinkles, it's not quite as important. Unless the U.S. Supreme Court makes a decision outlawing donut sprinkles.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-one-does-topical-material-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/brian-regan-3918_court_relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-on_149127.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/brian-regan-3918_court_relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-on_149127.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b8/brian-regan-3918_court_relevance-is-kind-of-a-weird-thing-if-on_149127.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Relevance is kind of a weird thing. If one does topical material, it makes sense to want to be relevant. But…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I go in for the eye test, and I don't know about you, but I concentrate like crazy during the eye exam. You don't want to get no 'D' on that thing and end up with these big thick Coke bottle glasses.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-go-in-for-the-eye-test-and-i-don-t-know-about-you-but-i-concentrate/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/485/brian-regan-3918_bigs_i-go-in-for-the-eye-test-and-i-don-t-kno_976093.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/485/brian-regan-3918_bigs_i-go-in-for-the-eye-test-and-i-don-t-kno_976093.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/485/brian-regan-3918_bigs_i-go-in-for-the-eye-test-and-i-don-t-kno_976093.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I go in for the eye test, and I don't know about you, but I concentrate like crazy during the eye exam. You…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian. I'd need to be able to be a creator. That's what I enjoy - I enjoy coming up with comedy, so it'd be very difficult for me to be sitting in a room and have somebody come in and say, \"Here's your script! Learn these lines!\" That's not fun. At least not for me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/the-only-way-i-d-want-to-do-something-in-television-would-be-if-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/582/brian-regan-3918_able_the-only-way-i-d-want-to-do-something-in_2892869.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/582/brian-regan-3918_able_the-only-way-i-d-want-to-do-something-in_2892869.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/582/brian-regan-3918_able_the-only-way-i-d-want-to-do-something-in_2892869.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The only way I'd want to do something in television would be if it was about how I think as a comedian. I'd…” — Brian Regan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have a friend who swears by food combinations - have you heard of this nonsense? She's nuts. She's like, 'You know what? You should eat food combinations, and that way you can eat whatever you want. It's just the combinations of how you put the food together.' And then her examples are like, 'You wouldn't want to eat steak and potatoes together, but you could have, like, a lemon rind and raisin skins - not the whole raisin, take the skins and steam them.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Brian Regan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brian-regan/i-have-a-friend-who-swears-by-food-combinations-have-you-heard-of/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa7/brian-regan-3918_combination_i-have-a-friend-who-swears-by-food-combi_2863700.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa7/brian-regan-3918_combination_i-have-a-friend-who-swears-by-food-combi_2863700.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa7/brian-regan-3918_combination_i-have-a-friend-who-swears-by-food-combi_2863700.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have a friend who swears by food combinations - have you heard of this nonsense? She's nuts. 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