--- title: "11 Used Quotes By Emo Philips" description: "11 Used quotes by Emo Philips. Plus more from Emo Philips and more Used sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/695/emo-philips-1788_drunk_i-used-to-get-drunk-every-night-until-i_2122448.png" --- > [I used to get drunk every night until I puked. Finally I admitted, "I am a bulemic".](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-used-to-get-drunk-every-night-until-i-puked-finally-i-admitted-i-am/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/695/emo-philips-1788_drunk_i-used-to-get-drunk-every-night-until-i_2122448.png) > [I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-used-to-think-that-the-brain-was-the-most-wonderful-organ-in-my/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/178/emo-philips-1788_body_i-used-to-think-that-the-brain-was-the-m_2963945.png) > [I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-used-to-be-scared-of-pretty-girls-until-one-confessed-they-re-just/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/63d/emo-philips-1788_funny_i-used-to-be-scared-of-pretty-girls-unti_400984.png) > [I'm not as good a swimmer as I used to be - thanks to evolution.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-m-not-as-good-a-swimmer-as-i-used-to-be-thanks-to-evolution/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a8d/emo-philips-1788_biology_i-m-not-as-good-a-swimmer-as-i-used-to-b_342427.png) > [Interviewers always used to ask me about my pageboy haircut, and it drove me nuts: it almost made me suspect that there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/interviewers-always-used-to-ask-me-about-my-pageboy-haircut-and-it/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bbd/emo-philips-1788_ask-me_interviewers-always-used-to-ask-me-about_1483973.png) > [I was sick of people making fun of my hair and so I cut it off and I've got much more attention…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-was-sick-of-people-making-fun-of-my-hair-and-so-i-cut-it-off-and-i/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e5/emo-philips-1788_attention_i-was-sick-of-people-making-fun-of-my-ha_727666.png) > [At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/at-my-lemonade-stand-i-used-to-give-the-first-glass-away-free-and/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1d/emo-philips-1788_antidote_at-my-lemonade-stand-i-used-to-give-the_3043013.png) > [My dad and I, we used to play baseball. I was the catcher. Which I liked. Until one day, I saw this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/my-dad-and-i-we-used-to-play-baseball-i-was-the-catcher-which-i-liked/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfb/emo-philips-1788_ankles_my-dad-and-i-we-used-to-play-baseball-i_2568669.png) > [When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!" One day when they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/when-i-was-a-kid-my-parents-used-to-tell-me-emo-don-t-go-near-the/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ca/emo-philips-1788_cellar_when-i-was-a-kid-my-parents-used-to-tell_2283608.png) > [I used to think I knew everything, but older you get the more you see other areas. If you could read everything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-used-to-think-i-knew-everything-but-older-you-get-the-more-you-see/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f17/emo-philips-1788_areas_i-used-to-think-i-knew-everything-but-ol_1317411.jpg) > [Everyone, everywhere, and all the time, used to laugh at me when I was growing up. So, when I was around 18,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/everyone-everywhere-and-all-the-time-used-to-laugh-at-me-when-i-was/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aaa/emo-philips-1788_comedian_everyone-everywhere-and-all-the-time-use_3089176.jpg) ## Other authors on Used ## More by Emo Philips > [Once I was in a restaurant and I dropped my fork on the floor, and they gave me a new fork. So I pushed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/once-i-was-in-a-restaurant-and-i-dropped-my-fork-on-the-floor-and/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [I give money to Unicef because I like the 'bang for your buck' aspect. Here's $10, go and save 1,000 kids from blindness!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-give-money-to-unicef-because-i-like-the-bang-for-your-buck-aspect/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [Libertarians believe consenting adults have the right to do whatever they choose, except band together.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/libertarians-believe-consenting-adults-have-the-right-to-do-whatever/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [I love England. In fact, they're getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-love-england-in-fact-they-re-getting-to-know-me-so-well-at-heathrow/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/he-taught-me-never-to-smile-which-helps-me-when-i-visit-disaster-sites/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/the-way-i-understand-it-the-russians-are-sort-of-a-combination-of/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-got-in-a-fight-one-time-with-a-really-big-guy-and-he-said-i-m-going/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [I don't know if I was put on this Earth for a purpose or not. But I'm fairly confident that I'll be taken off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-don-t-know-if-i-was-put-on-this-earth-for-a-purpose-or-not-but-i-m/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [I got a letter from the IRS. Apparently I owe them $800. So I sent them a letter back. I said, If you'll remember,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-got-a-letter-from-the-irs-apparently-i-owe-them-800-so-i-sent-them/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [If you're worth over $50m you should have to dress like that guy on the Monopoly box. The super-rich shouldn't get all the benefits…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/if-you-re-worth-over-50m-you-should-have-to-dress-like-that-guy-on/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [Race is still somewhat of a taboo in comedy. But if you're a minority, then you can make fun of your own minority. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/race-is-still-somewhat-of-a-taboo-in-comedy-but-if-you-re-a-minority/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [I like to play chess with bald men in the park although it's hard to find 32 of them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-like-to-play-chess-with-bald-men-in-the-park-although-it-s-hard-to/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [If computers get too powerful, we can organize them into a committee - that will do them in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/if-computers-get-too-powerful-we-can-organize-them-into-a-committee/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/you-don-t-appreciate-a-lot-of-stuff-in-school-until-you-get-older/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) > [Thinking up jokes is easy. The hard part is trying them out on stage, because you never know if they're funny until you get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/thinking-up-jokes-is-easy-the-hard-part-is-trying-them-out-on-stage/) [Emo Philips](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emo-philips/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/used/emo-philips/#itemlist", "name": "11 Used Quotes By Emo Philips", "numberOfItems": 11, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I used to get drunk every night until I puked. 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So I cut off my pageboy.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Emo Philips" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/interviewers-always-used-to-ask-me-about-my-pageboy-haircut-and-it/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bbd/emo-philips-1788_ask-me_interviewers-always-used-to-ask-me-about_1483973.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bbd/emo-philips-1788_ask-me_interviewers-always-used-to-ask-me-about_1483973.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bbd/emo-philips-1788_ask-me_interviewers-always-used-to-ask-me-about_1483973.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Interviewers always used to ask me about my pageboy haircut, and it drove me nuts: it almost made me suspect…” — Emo Philips", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I was sick of people making fun of my hair and so I cut it off and I've got much more attention than ever before. It was like when Mona Lisa was stolen from the Louvre in 1906 - three times more people came to see where it used to be.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Emo Philips" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-was-sick-of-people-making-fun-of-my-hair-and-so-i-cut-it-off-and-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e5/emo-philips-1788_attention_i-was-sick-of-people-making-fun-of-my-ha_727666.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e5/emo-philips-1788_attention_i-was-sick-of-people-making-fun-of-my-ha_727666.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e5/emo-philips-1788_attention_i-was-sick-of-people-making-fun-of-my-ha_727666.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I was sick of people making fun of my hair and so I cut it off and I've got much more attention than ever…” — Emo Philips", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Emo Philips" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/at-my-lemonade-stand-i-used-to-give-the-first-glass-away-free-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1d/emo-philips-1788_antidote_at-my-lemonade-stand-i-used-to-give-the_3043013.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1d/emo-philips-1788_antidote_at-my-lemonade-stand-i-used-to-give-the_3043013.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f1d/emo-philips-1788_antidote_at-my-lemonade-stand-i-used-to-give-the_3043013.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass…” — Emo Philips", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My dad and I, we used to play baseball. I was the catcher. Which I liked. Until one day, I saw this game on TV, and I said, Hang on, how come their catcher doesn't have his hands tied to his ankles?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Emo Philips" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/my-dad-and-i-we-used-to-play-baseball-i-was-the-catcher-which-i-liked/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfb/emo-philips-1788_ankles_my-dad-and-i-we-used-to-play-baseball-i_2568669.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfb/emo-philips-1788_ankles_my-dad-and-i-we-used-to-play-baseball-i_2568669.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfb/emo-philips-1788_ankles_my-dad-and-i-we-used-to-play-baseball-i_2568669.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My dad and I, we used to play baseball. I was the catcher. Which I liked. Until one day, I saw this game on…” — Emo Philips", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, \"Emo, don't go near the cellar door!\" One day when they were away, I went up to the cellar door. And I pushed it and walked through and saw strange, wonderful things, things I had never seen before, like... trees. Grass. Flowers. The sun... that was nice... the sun.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Emo Philips" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/when-i-was-a-kid-my-parents-used-to-tell-me-emo-don-t-go-near-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ca/emo-philips-1788_cellar_when-i-was-a-kid-my-parents-used-to-tell_2283608.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ca/emo-philips-1788_cellar_when-i-was-a-kid-my-parents-used-to-tell_2283608.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ca/emo-philips-1788_cellar_when-i-was-a-kid-my-parents-used-to-tell_2283608.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, \"Emo, don't go near the cellar door!\" One day when they were…” — Emo Philips", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I used to think I knew everything, but older you get the more you see other areas. If you could read everything about both sides, you'll pretty much be in the middle again, which is the state you had when you were totally ignorant. So my theory is if you maintain total ignorance - which isn't easy, but I try - you'll be just as far ahead as if you'd spent days and days reading about the whole issue. And you have that much extra time to play Pac-man.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Emo Philips" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/i-used-to-think-i-knew-everything-but-older-you-get-the-more-you-see/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f17/emo-philips-1788_areas_i-used-to-think-i-knew-everything-but-ol_1317411.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f17/emo-philips-1788_areas_i-used-to-think-i-knew-everything-but-ol_1317411.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f17/emo-philips-1788_areas_i-used-to-think-i-knew-everything-but-ol_1317411.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I used to think I knew everything, but older you get the more you see other areas. If you could read…” — Emo Philips", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Everyone, everywhere, and all the time, used to laugh at me when I was growing up. So, when I was around 18, I thought, 'I'll become a comedian, and then if everyone laughs at me, I'll be famous.' So I went on stage one night and, for the first time in my life, everyone stopped laughing at me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Emo Philips" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emo-philips/everyone-everywhere-and-all-the-time-used-to-laugh-at-me-when-i-was/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aaa/emo-philips-1788_comedian_everyone-everywhere-and-all-the-time-use_3089176.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aaa/emo-philips-1788_comedian_everyone-everywhere-and-all-the-time-use_3089176.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aaa/emo-philips-1788_comedian_everyone-everywhere-and-all-the-time-use_3089176.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Everyone, everywhere, and all the time, used to laugh at me when I was growing up. 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