---
title: "542 Underwear Quotes by 443 authors"
description: "Browse 542 Underwear quotes by 443 authors. Discover the best Underwear sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e8/patience-227_quote_i-got-no-underwear-on-xd-1969288_1969288.jpg"
---

> [I got no underwear on XD](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patience/i-got-no-underwear-on-xd/)

[Patience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patience/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e8/patience-227_quote_i-got-no-underwear-on-xd-1969288_1969288.jpg)

> [T-Shirt Time!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jersey-shore/t-shirt-time/)

[Jersey Shore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jersey-shore/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/67c/jersey-shore-8116_quote_t-shirt-time-624547_624547.jpg)

> [I had no underwear on! Cx](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patience/i-had-no-underwear-on-cx/)

[Patience](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patience/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad9/patience-227_alexia-and-i_i-had-no-underwear-on-cx-2895996_2895996.jpg)

> [It's T-Shirt time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pauly-d/it-s-t-shirt-time/)

[Pauly D](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pauly-d/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/87d/pauly-d-4262_shirt_it-s-t-shirt-time-333301_333301.png)

> [I wear leather underwear!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-bunton/i-wear-leather-underwear/)

[Emma Bunton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-bunton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/869/emma-bunton-17962_leather_i-wear-leather-underwear-1464152_1464152.png)

> [I've not worn underwear for 20 years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeremy-kyle/i-ve-not-worn-underwear-for-20-years/)

[Jeremy Kyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeremy-kyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/579/jeremy-kyle-18338_underwear_i-ve-not-worn-underwear-for-20-years-235_2354714.jpg)

> [I only wear underwear from Target.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeannie-mai/i-only-wear-underwear-from-target/)

[Jeannie Mai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeannie-mai/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61c/jeannie-mai-7574_only_i-only-wear-underwear-from-target-12955_12955.jpg)

> [I just want to look like an underwear model.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/spencer-matthews/i-just-want-to-look-like-an-underwear-model/)

[Spencer Matthews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/spencer-matthews/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/faa/spencer-matthews-6329_just_i-just-want-to-look-like-an-underwear-mo_2835274.jpg)

> [“I’m a model citizen. Mostly I model underwear.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-m-a-model-citizen-mostly-i-model-underwear/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e9/jarod-kintz-2_citizen_i-m-a-model-citizen-mostly-i-model-under_368694.jpg)

> [“O victory forget you're underwear we're free.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allen-ginsberg/o-victory-forget-you-re-underwear-we-re-free/)

[Allen Ginsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allen-ginsberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/630/allen-ginsberg-1110_quote_o-victory-forget-you-re-underwear-we-re_1438928.jpg)

> [I'm not wearing any underwear!!!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-m-not-wearing-any-underwear/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c6d/anonymous-1_funny_i-m-not-wearing-any-underwear-2260565_2260565.jpg)

> [Well, you wear underwear. That helps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-blunt/well-you-wear-underwear-that-helps/)

[Emily Blunt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-blunt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/973/emily-blunt-5235_helping_well-you-wear-underwear-that-helps-30380_303808.jpg)

> [I went out in my goddamn underwear too!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-roberts/i-went-out-in-my-goddamn-underwear-too/)

[Julia Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-roberts/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/426/julia-roberts-2214_funny_i-went-out-in-my-goddamn-underwear-too-7_795704.jpg)

> [For the record, I think it should be illegal for a boy to have to fold his mother's underwear.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-kinney/for-the-record-i-think-it-should-be-illegal-for-a-boy-to-have-to-fold/)

[Jeff Kinney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-kinney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/504/jeff-kinney-4064_boys_for-the-record-i-think-it-should-be-ille_706435.png)

> [Wear audacious underwear under the most solemn business attire.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-jackson-brown-jr/wear-audacious-underwear-under-the-most-solemn-business-attire/)

[H. Jackson Brown, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-jackson-brown-jr/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a5/h-jackson-brown-jr-1456_attire_wear-audacious-underwear-under-the-most_2303283.png)

> [I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/woody-allen/i-don-t-believe-in-the-after-life-although-i-am-bringing-a-change-of/)

[Woody Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/woody-allen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f40/woody-allen-176_believe_i-don-t-believe-in-the-after-life-althou_409402.jpg)

> [Edible underwear?... even during sex, we can't stop eating.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/edible-underwear-even-during-sex-we-can-t-stop-eating/)

[Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/757/greg-giraldo-10617_eating_edible-underwear-even-during-sex-we-can_2105744.png)

> [I should warn you that underneath these clothes I'm wearing boxer shorts and I know how to use them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-orben/i-should-warn-you-that-underneath-these-clothes-i-m-wearing-boxer/)

[Robert Orben](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-orben/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/157/robert-orben-3864_boxers_i-should-warn-you-that-underneath-these_886547.jpg)

> [Ship small art. Then, ship medium art. Then, ship world-changing, scary, change-your-underwear art.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seth/ship-small-art-then-ship-medium-art-then-ship-world-changing-scary/)

[Seth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seth/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bd8/seth-1954_art_ship-small-art-then-ship-medium-art-then_585668.png)

> [Well, don't expect us to be too impressed. We just saw Finnick Odair in his underwear.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-collins/well-don-t-expect-us-to-be-too-impressed-we-just-saw-finnick-odair-in/)

[Suzanne Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-collins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/230/suzanne-collins-60_finnick_well-don-t-expect-us-to-be-too-impressed_2856559.jpg)

> [I wanted to change the world . But I could not even change my underwear.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-grant/i-wanted-to-change-the-world-but-i-could-not-even-change-my-underwear/)

[John Grant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-grant/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4f7/john-grant-4412_change_i-wanted-to-change-the-world-but-i-could_964507.png)

> [“Trying to stay within my budget, I bought napkins instead of underwear. They’re not as comfortable to wear, but less likely to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/trying-to-stay-within-my-budget-i-bought-napkins-instead-of-underwear/)

[Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d7/jarod-kintz-2_quote_trying-to-stay-within-my-budget-i-bought_1031589.jpg)

> [People keep asking me, 'What evil lurks in you to play such bad characters?' There is no evil in me, I just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-hopper/people-keep-asking-me-what-evil-lurks-in-you-to-play-such-bad/)

[Dennis Hopper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-hopper/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e8/dennis-hopper-8988_asking_people-keep-asking-me-what-evil-lurks-in_1571380.jpg)

> [I started stuffing wads of cash into my socks and underwear and quietly passed by the T.S.A. agents with a grin on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-donaghy/i-started-stuffing-wads-of-cash-into-my-socks-and-underwear-and/)

[Tim Donaghy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-donaghy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f6a/tim-donaghy-15648_cash_i-started-stuffing-wads-of-cash-into-my_2325656.jpg)

> [Whenever you're sitting across from some important person, always picture him sitting there in a suit of long red underwear. That's the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/whenever-you-re-sitting-across-from-some-important-person-always/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/751/anonymous-1_business_whenever-you-re-sitting-across-from-some_2502252.jpg)

> [The trouble with emergencies is," she said, "that I always put on my finest underwear and then nothing happens.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zelda-fitzgerald/the-trouble-with-emergencies-is-she-said-that-i-always-put-on-my/)

[Zelda Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zelda-fitzgerald/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4a6/zelda-fitzgerald-4660_emergencies_the-trouble-with-emergencies-is-she-said_1931640.jpg)

> [“If you are a baby, your family will sere you in your underwear many times, and there's no use being embarrassed about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lemony-snicket/if-you-are-a-baby-your-family-will-sere-you-in-your-underwear-many/)

[Lemony Snicket](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lemony-snicket/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c2/lemony-snicket-663_family_if-you-are-a-baby-your-family-will-sere_800992.jpg)

> [Underwear is everything because we all know that if we have on the wrong pair of underwear it ruins your day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-webb/underwear-is-everything-because-we-all-know-that-if-we-have-on-the/)

[Veronica Webb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-webb/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfb/veronica-webb-41932_ifs_underwear-is-everything-because-we-all-k_328783.jpg)

> [“That's what underwear is for, girls, so if an emergency happens you only show your cookies to the people you love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/that-s-what-underwear-is-for-girls-so-if-an-emergency-happens-you/)

[Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ff/laurell-k-hamilton-199_erotic_that-s-what-underwear-is-for-girls-so-if_2724744.png)

> [“Push-ups in his underwear the next morning. Practically right outside of my divider, so I had to lunge over him to head…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-williams/push-ups-in-his-underwear-the-next-morning-practically-right-outside/)

[Nicole Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-williams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/nicole-williams-845_pull-ups_push-ups-in-his-underwear-the-next-morni_2084652.jpg)

> [“An hour later, a nameless, cold-faced man returned with a tray of fresh pasta, warm bread, and a few bags of brand…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mimi-jean-pamfiloff/an-hour-later-a-nameless-cold-faced-man-returned-with-a-tray-of-fresh/)

[Mimi Jean Pamfiloff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mimi-jean-pamfiloff/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f4/mimi-jean-pamfiloff-10674_funny_an-hour-later-a-nameless-cold-faced-man_2519460.jpg)

> [S. E. Smith's I Live in a Hut has a deceptively simple title, considering that the brain in that hut contains galaxies-worth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthea-harvey/s-e-smith-s-i-live-in-a-hut-has-a-deceptively-simple-title/)

[Matthea Harvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthea-harvey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64d/matthea-harvey-10757_anything-and-everyth_s-e-smith-s-i-live-in-a-hut-has-a-decept_1872005.jpg)

> [“Are you particularly attached to these? He fingered the lace around the crease where her thigh curved against the most intimate part…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nalini-singh/are-you-particularly-attached-to-these-he-fingered-the-lace-around/)

[Nalini Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nalini-singh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c3f/nalini-singh-293_brenna-and-judd_are-you-particularly-attached-to-these-h_2201775.jpg)

> [“The mechanic had laid out two suits of their Martian-made light combat armour, a number of rifles and shotguns, and stacks of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-s-a-corey/the-mechanic-had-laid-out-two-suits-of-their-martian-made-light/)

[James S.A. Corey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-s-a-corey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d8/james-s-a-corey-861_ammunition_the-mechanic-had-laid-out-two-suits-of-t_1052591.jpg)

> [Once I saw a homeless man wearing his underwear on top of his pants. Now we say, why don't the homeless just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-giraldo/once-i-saw-a-homeless-man-wearing-his-underwear-on-top-of-his-pants/)

[Greg Giraldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-giraldo/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f6/greg-giraldo-10617_doubt_once-i-saw-a-homeless-man-wearing-his-un_2855392.jpg)

> [Do you know what Bill Gates has to pull out of an old coat, to feel like I did with a $20…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-gulman/do-you-know-what-bill-gates-has-to-pull-out-of-an-old-coat-to-feel/)

[Gary Gulman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-gulman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c79/gary-gulman-14523_abe_do-you-know-what-bill-gates-has-to-pull_3224065.jpg)

> [Uh... ," Ivy stammered, and I glanced up to see her eyes wide in consideration. "I'm kidding," I said. "It passed the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kim-harrison/uh-ivy-stammered-and-i-glanced-up-to-see-her-eyes-wide-in/)

[Kim Harrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kim-harrison/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d1/kim-harrison-323_amulets_uh-ivy-stammered-and-i-glanced-up-to-see_74789.png)

> [“Is your underwear purple, too?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/is-your-underwear-purple-too/)

[F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81b/f-scott-fitzgerald-72_beatrice_is-your-underwear-purple-too-106123_106123.jpg)

> [Underwear is such an emotional thing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elle-macpherson/underwear-is-such-an-emotional-thing/)

[Elle Macpherson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elle-macpherson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a4f/elle-macpherson-12894_emotional_underwear-is-such-an-emotional-thing-129_1290113.jpg)

> [Im too hung for womens underwear.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-shadows/im-too-hung-for-womens-underwear/)

[M. Shadows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-shadows/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/731/m-shadows-4553_hung_im-too-hung-for-womens-underwear-1011519_1011519.png)

## Top authors on Underwear

- [Jarod Kintz 9 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/underwear/jarod-kintz/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b020/author-rick-riordan-79077.jpg) Rick Riordan 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/underwear/rick-riordan/)

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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I wanted to change the world . But I could not even change my underwear.",
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                        "text": "“Trying to stay within my budget, I bought napkins instead of underwear. They’re not as comfortable to wear, but less likely to offend when I wipe my hands on them in a crowded restaurant.”",
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                        "text": "People keep asking me, 'What evil lurks in you to play such bad characters?' There is no evil in me, I just wear tight underwear.",
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                        "text": "The trouble with emergencies is,\" she said, \"that I always put on my finest underwear and then nothing happens.",
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                        "text": "“That's what underwear is for, girls, so if an emergency happens you only show your cookies to the people you love.”",
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                        "text": "“Push-ups in his underwear the next morning. Practically right outside of my divider, so I had to lunge over him to head to the bathroom. Later that night, I came home to find him shirtless in those low-slung sweats, going between studying and knocking out pull-ups on the bar he’d screwed into the wall.”",
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                        "text": "“An hour later, a nameless, cold-faced man returned with a tray of fresh pasta, warm bread, and a few bags of brand new comfort clothes: yoga pants, tees, a few sports bras, and...pink thong underwear? Well, of course. Wouldn't want to be held prisoner and have panty lines.”",
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                        "text": "S. E. Smith's I Live in a Hut has a deceptively simple title, considering that the brain in that hut contains galaxies-worth of invention: At night when your soldiers are praying ceaselessly for less rain and more underwear my soldiers make underwear out of rain. These poems seesaw between despair and delight but delight is winning the battle. Smith is a somersaulting tightrope walker of a poet and her poems will make you look at anything and everything with new eyes: For days I tried to rub the new freckle // off my hand until I realized what it was / and began to grant it its sovereignty.",
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                        "text": "“Are you particularly attached to these? He fingered the lace around the crease where her thigh curved against the most intimate part of her. \"Wh-what?\" Her hands dripped form his head to dig into the sheets. He filed away her responsiveness when touched in that particular area. I'll take that as a no.\" Gipping hold of the front, he tore the fragile fabric off her body. The scraps fell away like mist.”",
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                        "text": "“The mechanic had laid out two suits of their Martian-made light combat armour, a number of rifles and shotguns, and stacks of ammunition and explosives. “What,” Holden said, “is all this?” “You said to gear up for the drop.” “I meant, like, underwear and toothbrushes.”",
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                        "text": "Once I saw a homeless man wearing his underwear on top of his pants. Now we say, why don't the homeless just go out and get a job? If he's wearing his underwear on top of his pants, I doubt his resume is in order, and I don't think he's going to make it too far in the interview process. In fact, I'm pretty sure that McDonald's has a no underwear over your pant policy.",
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                        "text": "Do you know what Bill Gates has to pull out of an old coat, to feel like I did with a $20 bill? First of all, the idea that Bill Gates has an old coat is preposterous. If he has an old coat, it's the coat Abe Lincoln was shot in and he wears it as a bathrobe - no underwear by the way. He lets his billionaire balls swing willy-nilly beneath the death cloak of the great emancipator. That's your 1%.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Uh... ,\" Ivy stammered, and I glanced up to see her eyes wide in consideration. \"I'm kidding,\" I said. \"It passed the lethal-amulet test, remember?\" \"Not that. You keep it in your underwear drawer?\" I hesitated, wondering why I was embarrassed. \"Well, where do you put your elven magic?\" I asked.",
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