---
title: "109 Tubs Quotes by 99 authors"
description: "Browse 109 Tubs quotes by 99 authors. Discover the best Tubs sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c87/conrad-hilton-20449_curtain_leave-the-shower-curtain-on-the-inside-o_1635619.png"
---

> [Leave the shower curtain on the inside of the tub.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conrad-hilton/leave-the-shower-curtain-on-the-inside-of-the-tub/)

[Conrad Hilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conrad-hilton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c87/conrad-hilton-20449_curtain_leave-the-shower-curtain-on-the-inside-o_1635619.png)

> [The tub helps me relax, and it's a great place to read.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-greenspan/the-tub-helps-me-relax-and-it-s-a-great-place-to-read/)

[Alan Greenspan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-greenspan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69d/alan-greenspan-1834_help-me_the-tub-helps-me-relax-and-it-s-a-great_3023955.png)

> [I got mad love for hot tubs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-robinson/i-got-mad-love-for-hot-tubs/)

[Craig Robinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-robinson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f99/craig-robinson-8676_got_i-got-mad-love-for-hot-tubs-916369_916369.jpg)

> [Every tub sits on its bottom.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zora-neale-hurston/every-tub-sits-on-its-bottom/)

[Zora Neale Hurston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zora-neale-hurston/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2bc/zora-neale-hurston-923_bottom_every-tub-sits-on-its-bottom-1655533_1655533.png)

> [Every tub must stand upon its bottom.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-macklin/every-tub-must-stand-upon-its-bottom/)

[Charles Macklin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-macklin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/007/charles-macklin-47259_bottom_every-tub-must-stand-upon-its-bottom-313_3139761.jpg)

> [Rub-a-dub-dub. Cerebrum in a tub.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/rub-a-dub-dub-cerebrum-in-a-tub/)

[Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d6/dean-koontz-118_cerebrum_rub-a-dub-dub-cerebrum-in-a-tub-702180_702180.jpg)

> [We are a nation of 20 million bathrooms, with a humanist in every tub.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-mccarthy/we-are-a-nation-of-20-million-bathrooms-with-a-humanist-in-every-tub/)

[Mary McCarthy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-mccarthy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f2/mary-mccarthy-2691_bathroom_we-are-a-nation-of-20-million-bathrooms_268426.png)

> [A bath tub, apparently, was the first thing I wanted to be.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-duchovny/a-bath-tub-apparently-was-the-first-thing-i-wanted-to-be/)

[David Duchovny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-duchovny/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69e/david-duchovny-1754_bath_a-bath-tub-apparently-was-the-first-thin_775834.jpg)

> [Don't you expect a rainbow coming out of the tub of bacon strips at the end of the buffet line?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/don-t-you-expect-a-rainbow-coming-out-of-the-tub-of-bacon-strips-at/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/22c/jim-gaffigan-580_buffet_don-t-you-expect-a-rainbow-coming-out-of_2587962.jpg)

> [ Given a thimbleful of \[dramatic\] facts we rush to make generalizations as large as a tub. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/given-a-thimbleful-of-dramatic-facts-we-rush-to-make-generalizations/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/969/anonymous-1_dramatic_given-a-thimbleful-of-dramatic-facts-we_880753.jpg)

> [Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain't so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/minnie-pearl/getting-married-is-a-lot-like-getting-into-a-tub-of-hot-water-after/)

[Minnie Pearl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/minnie-pearl/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/829/minnie-pearl-22695_funny_getting-married-is-a-lot-like-getting-in_3134807.jpg)

> [Diogenes found more rest in his tub than Alexander on his throne.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-quarles/diogenes-found-more-rest-in-his-tub-than-alexander-on-his-throne/)

[Francis Quarles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-quarles/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f1/francis-quarles-1740_alexander_diogenes-found-more-rest-in-his-tub-than_3092611.png)

> [You feel better in the short run when you have a tub of ice cream, but in the long run, you don't.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meredith-vieira/you-feel-better-in-the-short-run-when-you-have-a-tub-of-ice-cream-but/)

[Meredith Vieira](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meredith-vieira/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06c/meredith-vieira-24956_cream_you-feel-better-in-the-short-run-when-yo_2174918.jpg)

> [Imagine a hot tub for the mind. That is what meditation is; it can bathe your mind in relaxing thoughts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eknath-easwaran/imagine-a-hot-tub-for-the-mind-that-is-what-meditation-is-it-can/)

[Eknath Easwaran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eknath-easwaran/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c1/eknath-easwaran-7274_hot_imagine-a-hot-tub-for-the-mind-that-is-w_898285.jpg)

> [Great sex is not a pleasant soak in the tub, with the scented candle burning. Great sex is more like a bomb…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-bloom/great-sex-is-not-a-pleasant-soak-in-the-tub-with-the-scented-candle/)

[Amy Bloom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-bloom/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec1/amy-bloom-4288_bombs_great-sex-is-not-a-pleasant-soak-in-the_2869091.png)

> [It's being a grown up, which I never figured out how to do, scrubbing the tub, and remembering to eat and shampoo…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-wurtzel/it-s-being-a-grown-up-which-i-never-figured-out-how-to-do-scrubbing/)

[Elizabeth Wurtzel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-wurtzel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c20/elizabeth-wurtzel-1275_basics_it-s-being-a-grown-up-which-i-never-figu_783466.png)

> [If you're in a company, you're dancing from 9 a.m. till 7 in the evening, and then you go home and get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neve-campbell/if-you-re-in-a-company-you-re-dancing-from-9-a-m-till-7-in-the/)

[Neve Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neve-campbell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c5/neve-campbell-9519_body_if-you-re-in-a-company-you-re-dancing-fr_2948546.jpg)

> [Where I live in Oklahoma, it's all ranchers. My friends are all cowboys and pretty rough guys. If I had a hot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/blake-shelton/where-i-live-in-oklahoma-it-s-all-ranchers-my-friends-are-all-cowboys/)

[Blake Shelton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/blake-shelton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c7a/blake-shelton-2265_cowboy_where-i-live-in-oklahoma-it-s-all-ranche_2039683.jpg)

> [Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-letterman/do-you-know-who-is-ready-to-go-with-the-presidential-campaign-jeb/)

[David Letterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-letterman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/449/david-letterman-378_brother_do-you-know-who-is-ready-to-go-with-the_3220847.jpg)

> [A vet! I started laughing weakly and had to sit on the edge of the tub. A vet. Wait till they found…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-patterson/a-vet-i-started-laughing-weakly-and-had-to-sit-on-the-edge-of-the-tub/)

[James Patterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-patterson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5a/james-patterson-171_found_a-vet-i-started-laughing-weakly-and-had_1971014.png)

> [Seamen have a custom, when they meet a whale, to fling him out an empty tub by way of amusement, to divert…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-swift/seamen-have-a-custom-when-they-meet-a-whale-to-fling-him-out-an-empty/)

[Jonathan Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-swift/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b09/jonathan-swift-433_amusement_seamen-have-a-custom-when-they-meet-a-wh_2524728.jpg)

> [When the water of a place is bad it is safest to drink none that has not been filtered through either the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-butler/when-the-water-of-a-place-is-bad-it-is-safest-to-drink-none-that-has/)

[Samuel Butler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-butler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc9/samuel-butler-823_berries_when-the-water-of-a-place-is-bad-it-is-s_2565629.jpg)

> [“What's the deal with putting animal feet on tubs? It's like insisting that all pianos should have tails, or dinner tables should…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-lileks/what-s-the-deal-with-putting-animal-feet-on-tubs-it-s-like-insisting/)

[James Lileks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-lileks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d73/james-lileks-13366_animal_what-s-the-deal-with-putting-animal-feet_3064215.jpg)

> [The snow has left the cottage top; The thatch moss grows in brighter green; And eaves in quick succession drop, Where grinning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-clare/the-snow-has-left-the-cottage-top-the-thatch-moss-grows-in-brighter/)

[John Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-clare/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c79/john-clare-9982_brighter_the-snow-has-left-the-cottage-top-the-th_376424.png)

> [Oh definitely. It'll be in a hot tub, with my entire head squeezed into a jet. The photos are going to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-sudeikis/oh-definitely-it-ll-be-in-a-hot-tub-with-my-entire-head-squeezed-into/)

[Jason Sudeikis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-sudeikis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b18/jason-sudeikis-20098_articles_oh-definitely-it-ll-be-in-a-hot-tub-with_3006896.png)

> [I've been an ambassador of goodwill all over the world, spreading this message, did we do heal the world, treaty of all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-jackson/i-ve-been-an-ambassador-of-goodwill-all-over-the-world-spreading-this/)

[Michael Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-jackson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d8/michael-jackson-411_ambassadors_i-ve-been-an-ambassador-of-goodwill-all_1387599.jpg)

> [Do you think I haven't noticed? You can't wait to be free of me. I drink and then you bolt up, as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-r-ward/do-you-think-i-haven-t-noticed-you-can-t-wait-to-be-free-of-me-i/)

[J.R. Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-r-ward/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e26/j-r-ward-148_dirt_do-you-think-i-haven-t-noticed-you-can-t_1918709.png)

> [Western doctors are like poor plumbers. They treat a splashing tub by cleaning up the water. These plumbers are extremely apt at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-parsons-burkitt/western-doctors-are-like-poor-plumbers-they-treat-a-splashing-tub-by/)

[Denis Parsons Burkitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-parsons-burkitt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7de/denis-parsons-burkitt-48125_cleaning_western-doctors-are-like-poor-plumbers-t_48227.png)

> [I have developed a rash on my body where the rough cloth rubs on my skin. I wanted to take a bath,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-cushman/i-have-developed-a-rash-on-my-body-where-the-rough-cloth-rubs-on-my/)

[Karen Cushman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-cushman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f7d/karen-cushman-24799_baths_i-have-developed-a-rash-on-my-body-where_3072450.jpg)

> [Memory is a funny thing. It tricks you into believing that you've forgotten important moments, and then when you're raking your brain…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melina-marchetta/memory-is-a-funny-thing-it-tricks-you-into-believing-that-you-ve/)

[Melina Marchetta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melina-marchetta/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3d1/melina-marchetta-392_believe_memory-is-a-funny-thing-it-tricks-you-in_2690729.jpg)

> [“No more tubs for me." I jumped off the bed and pulled on a pair of Pack sweats. "They make me lose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/no-more-tubs-for-me-i-jumped-off-the-bed-and-pulled-on-a-pair-of-pack/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/860/ilona-andrews-150_curran_no-more-tubs-for-me-i-jumped-off-the-bed_69542.jpg)

> [When I was 14, a camp counselor explained what "eating out" was and I vowed to never have it done to me.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sloane-crosley/when-i-was-14-a-camp-counselor-explained-what-eating-out-was-and-i/)

[Sloane Crosley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sloane-crosley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5b0/sloane-crosley-1764_cabins_when-i-was-14-a-camp-counselor-explained_2574309.png)

> [“These reasonings will furnish us with an adequate definition of a true critic: that he is a discoverer and collector of writers’…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-swift/these-reasonings-will-furnish-us-with-an-adequate-definition-of-a/)

[Jonathan Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-swift/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/51d/jonathan-swift-433_critic_these-reasonings-will-furnish-us-with-an_2562620.jpg)

> [He leaned her back against the tub, setting her head on the edge, then washed her shoulders. "I know I left you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelley-armstrong/he-leaned-her-back-against-the-tub-setting-her-head-on-the-edge-then/)

[Kelley Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelley-armstrong/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0db/kelley-armstrong-581_arguing_he-leaned-her-back-against-the-tub-setti_3207763.jpg)

> [Darwin seems to lose out with the public primarily when his supporters force him into a mano-a-mano Thunderdome death match against the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-sailer/darwin-seems-to-lose-out-with-the-public-primarily-when-his/)

[Steve Sailer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-sailer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/369/steve-sailer-33384_absolutes_darwin-seems-to-lose-out-with-the-public_2493050.png)

> [Okay. how about that time when you smoked all that weed that you thought was laced with something? You fell into the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holly-black/okay-how-about-that-time-when-you-smoked-all-that-weed-that-you/)

[Holly Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holly-black/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bbf/holly-black-329_angel_okay-how-about-that-time-when-you-smoked_669565.png)

> [I've got huge tubs full of X-Files memorobilia that I can sell on eBay.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-duchovny/i-ve-got-huge-tubs-full-of-x-files-memorobilia-that-i-can-sell-on-ebay/)

[David Duchovny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-duchovny/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/542/david-duchovny-1754_ebay_i-ve-got-huge-tubs-full-of-x-files-memor_1373260.jpg)

> [Unlike some older brothers, I never set him on fire, or cut off an arm or leg, or drowned him in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-elder-robison/unlike-some-older-brothers-i-never-set-him-on-fire-or-cut-off-an-arm/)

[John Elder Robison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-elder-robison/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e68/john-elder-robison-15225_arms_unlike-some-older-brothers-i-never-set-h_2562327.jpg)

> [Seducing him in the tub smelling of vinegar was out of the question. There had to be some boundaries.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/seducing-him-in-the-tub-smelling-of-vinegar-was-out-of-the-question/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e02/ilona-andrews-150_boundaries_seducing-him-in-the-tub-smelling-of-vine_156843.png)

> [The main thing is to not cut yourself and bleed to death in the tub.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frankie-andreu/the-main-thing-is-to-not-cut-yourself-and-bleed-to-death-in-the-tub/)

[Frankie Andreu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frankie-andreu/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d82/frankie-andreu-238155_bleed_the-main-thing-is-to-not-cut-yourself-an_2360588.png)

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                        "text": "A vet! I started laughing weakly and had to sit on the edge of the tub. A vet. Wait till they found out how appropriate that was.",
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                        "text": "Seamen have a custom, when they meet a whale, to fling him out an empty tub by way of amusement, to divert him from laying violent hands upon the ship.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "When the water of a place is bad it is safest to drink none that has not been filtered through either the berry of a grape, or else a tub of malt. These are the most reliable filters yet invented.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“What's the deal with putting animal feet on tubs? It's like insisting that all pianos should have tails, or dinner tables should have scrotal sacs. One of the things we like about tubs is their immobility, their general disinclination to bolt out of the room, scramble down the stairs, and make for the woods in a blind feral panic.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The snow has left the cottage top; The thatch moss grows in brighter green; And eaves in quick succession drop, Where grinning icicles have been, Pit-patting with a pleasant noise In tubs set by the cottage door; While duck and geese, with happy joys, Plunge in the yard pond brimming over. The sun peeps through the window pane: Which children mark with laughing eye, And in the wet street steal again To tell each other spring is night.",
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                            "name": "John Clare"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Oh definitely. It'll be in a hot tub, with my entire head squeezed into a jet. The photos are going to be hilarious. Man, I really hope the internet sticks around so people can reference this article in my obituaries and see that what sounds like a joke was actually amazingly prescient.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I've been an ambassador of goodwill all over the world, spreading this message, did we do heal the world, treaty of all nations, circling this huge globe? What I don't understand is just singing about sex and \"I want to get in a hot tub with you baby and rub you all over\" and, but I get battered in the press as the weirdo.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Do you think I haven't noticed? You can't wait to be free of me. I drink and then you bolt up, as if you've had to force yourself to endure my presence.\" She'd started to sob then. \"I've always tried to be clean when I come to you. I spend hours in the tub, washing myself. But I cannot find the dirt that you see.\" -Marissa to Wrath",
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                            "name": "J.R. Ward"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Western doctors are like poor plumbers. They treat a splashing tub by cleaning up the water. These plumbers are extremely apt at drying up the water, constantly inventing new, expensive, and refined methods of drying up water. Somebody should teach them how to close the tap.",
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                            "name": "Denis Parsons Burkitt"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I have developed a rash on my body where the rough cloth rubs on my skin. I wanted to take a bath, thinking that the dirt on my skin made the rash worse, but the bathing tub has been turned upside down and is being used as an extra table in the kitchen and i cannot have it until spring, so I just spread goose grease on my rash. The dogs are following me everywhere.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Memory is a funny thing. It tricks you into believing that you've forgotten important moments, and then when you're raking your brain for a bit of information that might make sense of something else, it taps you on the head and says, \"Remember when you told me to put that memory in the green rubbish bin? Well, I didn't, I put it in the black recycling tub, and it's coming your way again.",
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                        "text": "“No more tubs for me.\" I jumped off the bed and pulled on a pair of Pack sweats. \"They make me lose all sense.\" Curran sprawled on the bed with a big self-satisfied smile. \"Want to know a secret?\" \"Sure.\" \"It's not the bathtub, baby.\" Well, aren't we smug. I picked up the corner of the lowest mattress and made a show of looking under it. \"What are you looking for?\" \"A pea Your Majesty.\" \"What?\" \"You heard me.\" I jumped back as he lunged and his fingers missed me by an inch. \"Getting slow in your old age.\" \"I thought you liked it slow.\" A flashback to last night mugged me and my mind executed a full stop. He laughed. \"Ran out of snappy comebacks?\" \"Hush. I'm trying to think of one.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "When I was 14, a camp counselor explained what \"eating out\" was and I vowed to never have it done to me. It seemed cannibalistic and unhygienic. I also remember that she claimed--in front of an entire cabin of girls--to have been \"eaten out\" by one of the maintenance men in a hot tub. Under hot water. Either something is amiss in my memory of this conversation or she found the most talented man on the planet and all hope is lost for the rest of us.",
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                        "text": "“These reasonings will furnish us with an adequate definition of a true critic: that he is a discoverer and collector of writers’ faults. Which may be farther put beyond dispute by the following demonstration: that whoever will examine the writings in all kinds, wherewith this ancient sect has honoured the world, shall immediately find, from the whole thread and tenor of them, that the ideas of the authors have been altogether conversant and taken up with the faults and blemishes, and oversights, and mistakes of other writers; and let the subject treated on be whatever it will, their imaginations are so entirely possessed and replete with the defects of other pens, that the very quintessence of what is bad does of necessity distil into their own, by which means the whole appears to be nothing else but an abstract of the criticisms themselves have made.”",
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                        "text": "He leaned her back against the tub, setting her head on the edge, then washed her shoulders. \"I know I left you once.\" She opened her mouth, wanting to say it didn't matter, it was forgotten. But it wasn't. \"I know I hurt you.\" Again, she wanted to argue. But she couldn't. \"I know I said I won't leave you again, but I also know that's not enough, and that the only way you're going to trust that I won't leave is if I don't\". He slid the cloth over her arms. \"If this ends, Hope, it won't be me that ends it. I think you know that.",
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                        "text": "Okay. how about that time when you smoked all that weed that you thought was laced with something? You fell into the tub, but you refused to get out because you were convinced that the back of your head was going to fall off? \"That third story happened to a guy named Jace in my dorm. Me and Sam and another guy in our hall took turns reading \"Paradise Lost\" through the locked door. I think it made him more paranoid, though.\" \"That's not true,\" he says. \"Well, he *seemed* more paranoid to me,\" I say. \"And he still gets a little weired out when any one mentions angels.",
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                        "text": "I've got huge tubs full of X-Files memorobilia that I can sell on eBay.",
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