---
title: "37 Trump Quotes By Jon Stewart"
description: "37 Trump quotes by Jon Stewart. Plus more from Jon Stewart and more Trump sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8ca/jon-stewart-455_clear_usually-when-obama-says-let-me-be-clear_1913298.jpg"
---

> [Usually when Obama says, 'Let me be clear,' he's about to get into some very unclear sh\*t.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/usually-when-obama-says-let-me-be-clear-he-s-about-to-get-into-some/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8ca/jon-stewart-455_clear_usually-when-obama-says-let-me-be-clear_1913298.jpg)

> [The Rapture: The ultimate Republican back-up plan.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-rapture-the-ultimate-republican-back-up-plan/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81f/jon-stewart-455_plans_the-rapture-the-ultimate-republican-back_945094.jpg)

> [I don't consider myself a serious and social political critic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-don-t-consider-myself-a-serious-and-social-political-critic/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/531/jon-stewart-455_critics_i-don-t-consider-myself-a-serious-and-so_1249119.jpg)

> [That's the Senate Ethics Committee, an oxymoron since 1973.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/that-s-the-senate-ethics-committee-an-oxymoron-since-1973/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d72/jon-stewart-455_committees_that-s-the-senate-ethics-committee-an-ox_662895.jpg)

> [Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/democrats-always-standing-up-for-what-they-later-realize-they-should/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bde/jon-stewart-455_believed_democrats-always-standing-up-for-what-th_2545720.jpg)

> [Yes, it seems that as the President (George W. Bush) comes to the end of his two terms, he's finally realized the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/yes-it-seems-that-as-the-president-george-w-bush-comes-to-the-end-of/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96f/jon-stewart-455_best-way_yes-it-seems-that-as-the-president-georg_2894062.jpg)

> [The only time a politico will try to avoid playing the blame game is when they or theirs are to blame.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-only-time-a-politico-will-try-to-avoid-playing-the-blame-game-is/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ca/jon-stewart-455_blame_the-only-time-a-politico-will-try-to-avo_1955302.jpg)

> [Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh\*t and the joy of complaining…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/must-be-nice-to-be-a-republican-senator-sometimes-because-you-get-the/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dcf/jon-stewart-455_being-nice_must-be-nice-to-be-a-republican-senator_1726662.jpg)

> [If Obama's a tyrant, then he's pretty lame for a tyrant. How many tyrants do you know that really suffer because they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-obama-s-a-tyrant-then-he-s-pretty-lame-for-a-tyrant-how-many/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c85/jon-stewart-455_do-you-know_if-obama-s-a-tyrant-then-he-s-pretty-lam_2822198.jpg)

> [ \[John McCain\] didn't believe me. I think anybody who's been in a POW camp for five years can - take eight minutes… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/john-mccain-didn-t-believe-me-i-think-anybody-who-s-been-in-a-pow/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3bf/jon-stewart-455_believe_john-mccain-didn-t-believe-me-i-think-an_2768070.jpg)

> [I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-heard-dennis-kucinich-say-in-a-debate-when-i-m-president-and-i-just/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98e/jon-stewart-455_debate_i-heard-dennis-kucinich-say-in-a-debate_1535620.jpg)

> [If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-the-guy-in-front-of-you-at-the-polls-has-arm-swords-you-might-want/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e86/jon-stewart-455_arms_if-the-guy-in-front-of-you-at-the-polls_2258638.jpg)

> [Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/despite-his-infirmities-strom-thurmond-showed-up-to-work-every-day/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/63d/jon-stewart-455_bingo_despite-his-infirmities-strom-thurmond-s_2143447.jpg)

> [Republicans are no longer allowed to say that people are rich. You have to refer to them as 'job creator.' You can't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/republicans-are-no-longer-allowed-to-say-that-people-are-rich-you/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4aa/jon-stewart-455_cake_republicans-are-no-longer-allowed-to-say_2843789.jpg)

> [Really, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/really-an-historic-night-last-night-you-may-have-heard-barack-obama/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ff/jon-stewart-455_america_really-an-historic-night-last-night-you_1144850.jpg)

> [ All I'm saying is \[John McCain\] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say "Questioning the president is less supportive to… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/all-i-m-saying-is-john-mccain-cannot-look-a-soldier-in-the-eye-and/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/452/jon-stewart-455_coming-home_all-i-m-saying-is-john-mccain-cannot-loo_1052310.jpg)

> [If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-it-turns-out-that-president-barack-obama-can-make-a-deal-with-the/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a50/jon-stewart-455_america_if-it-turns-out-that-president-barack-ob_1046904.jpg)

> [If there was one lesson to be drawn from Bush's appearance (on 'Meet the Press') it's that he doesn't have to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-there-was-one-lesson-to-be-drawn-from-bush-s-appearance-on-meet/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfe/jon-stewart-455_appearance_if-there-was-one-lesson-to-be-drawn-from_1053071.jpg)

> [They have to put Trump on every program, spewing his crazy ideas, because his poll numbers are so high. And his poll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/they-have-to-put-trump-on-every-program-spewing-his-crazy-ideas/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/908/jon-stewart-455_crazy_they-have-to-put-trump-on-every-program_1265839.jpg)

> [Much of John Kerry's recent surge has come at the expense of Howard Dean. The situation reflected in his hot new bumper…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/much-of-john-kerry-s-recent-surge-has-come-at-the-expense-of-howard/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9de/jon-stewart-455_alternatives_much-of-john-kerry-s-recent-surge-has-co_1516153.jpg)

> [I could never wrap my head around why the world and the President that Republicans describe bears so little resemblance to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-could-never-wrap-my-head-around-why-the-world-and-the-president/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fc8/jon-stewart-455_bears_i-could-never-wrap-my-head-around-why-th_2116080.jpg)

> [The Republican party is the party of nostalgia. It seeks to return America to a simpler, more innocent and moral past that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-republican-party-is-the-party-of-nostalgia-it-seeks-to-return/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20c/jon-stewart-455_america_the-republican-party-is-the-party-of-nos_3001251.jpg)

> [The White House released documents it claims validates the president's (National Guard) service ... When deciphered the documents showed that in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-white-house-released-documents-it-claims-validates-the-president/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/jon-stewart-455_active_the-white-house-released-documents-it-cl_204512.jpg)

> [Former Vermont Governor Howard Dean was all smiles, well smirks, after picking up the endorsement of former Vice President Al Gore at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/former-vermont-governor-howard-dean-was-all-smiles-well-smirks-after/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ce8/jon-stewart-455_all-smiles_former-vermont-governor-howard-dean-was_2167179.jpg)

> [“Each party has a platform--a pre-fixed menu of beliefs making up its worldview. The candidate can choose one of the two platforms,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/each-party-has-a-platform-a-pre-fixed-menu-of-beliefs-making-up-its/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d2/jon-stewart-455_faith_each-party-has-a-platform-a-pre-fixed-me_1030915.jpg)

> [If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this is, I think, probably…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-i-was-to-really-get-at-the-burr-in-my-saddle-it-s-not-politics-and/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/14a/jon-stewart-455_analogies_if-i-was-to-really-get-at-the-burr-in-my_2920672.jpg)

> [Democrats do have a historic race going. Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/democrats-do-have-a-historic-race-going-hillary-clinton-vs-barack/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/118/jon-stewart-455_asteroids_democrats-do-have-a-historic-race-going_2290428.jpg)

> [ \[John McCain\] stopped connecting and just looked at my chest and decided, "I'm just gonna continue to talk about honor and duty… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/john-mccain-stopped-connecting-and-just-looked-at-my-chest-and/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef8/jon-stewart-455_be-proud_john-mccain-stopped-connecting-and-just_1867554.jpg)

> [It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/it-is-hard-to-get-mad-at-donald-trump-for-saying-stupid-things-in-the/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/45d/jon-stewart-455_angry_it-is-hard-to-get-mad-at-donald-trump-fo_1495821.jpg)

> [While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/while-opponents-label-howard-dean-a-throwback-liberal-the-new-york/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d86/jon-stewart-455_association_while-opponents-label-howard-dean-a-thro_21554.jpg)

> [Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a Vietnamese POW camp, publicly releases 1,000 pages of medical records. Now people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/senator-john-mccain-who-spent-over-five-years-in-a-vietnamese-pow/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56e/jon-stewart-455_camps_senator-john-mccain-who-spent-over-five_133714.jpg)

> [President Bush's approval ratings have taken somewhat of a dive. A senior slump, if you will. Leading President Bush to one conclusion:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/president-bush-s-approval-ratings-have-taken-somewhat-of-a-dive-a/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/306/jon-stewart-455_approval_president-bush-s-approval-ratings-have-t_510102.jpg)

> [ I wonder who really is the change candidate? It can't be both of them \[Hillary Clinton & Barak Obama\]. What would be… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-wonder-who-really-is-the-change-candidate-it-can-t-be-both-of-them/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6c/jon-stewart-455_barak-obama_i-wonder-who-really-is-the-change-candid_1071861.jpg)

> [GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of the people, and reveal him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/gop-strategists-hope-the-revelation-of-kerry-s-wealth-might-debunk/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f7/jon-stewart-455_george-w-bush_gop-strategists-hope-the-revelation-of-k_2035660.jpg)

> [ The conversation that the Senate and the House are having with the President \[Barack Obama\] was very similar to the conversation that… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-conversation-that-the-senate-and-the-house-are-having-with-the/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c0/jon-stewart-455_barack_the-conversation-that-the-senate-and-the_3000209.jpg)

> [If you are a minority or an interest group, the Democrats will hold the debate at your house. Whereas Republicans take a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/if-you-are-a-minority-or-an-interest-group-the-democrats-will-hold/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f5/jon-stewart-455_approach_if-you-are-a-minority-or-an-interest-gro_1389871.jpg)

> [Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It's Romney's inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/nobody-cares-that-mitt-romney-is-rich-it-s-romney-s-inability-to/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e6/jon-stewart-455_advantage_nobody-cares-that-mitt-romney-is-rich-it_2244750.jpg)

## Other authors on Trump

## More by Jon Stewart

> [Clearly, I'm way older than everyone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/clearly-i-m-way-older-than-everyone/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-don-t-know-how-people-feel-that-s-the-beauty-of-tv-is-they-can-see/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [I don't think marijuana should be illegal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-don-t-think-marijuana-should-be-illegal/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/i-reject-the-idea-there-are-just-two-sides-i-think-that-with-the/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/megachurches-i-can-t-be-the-only-one-frightened-when-our-houses-of/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/while-opponents-label-howard-dean-a-throwback-liberal-the-new-york/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/you-just-have-to-keep-trying-to-do-good-work-and-hope-that-it-leads/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/you-know-in-saudi-arabia-you-re-innocent-until-proven-jewish-female/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/the-unfortunate-yet-truly-exciting-thing-about-your-life-is-that/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/a-guy-who-says-what-people-who-aren-t-thinking-are-thinking/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/do-you-guys-have-to-sell-everything-i-d-like-to-buy-the-earth-s-core/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/christmas-and-the-new-year-are-actually-two-holidays-so-there-is-a/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [We're going to do a challenge. I'm going to try and download every movie ever made and you are going to try to sign…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/we-re-going-to-do-a-challenge-i-m-going-to-try-and-download-every/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [Our culture is just a series of checks and balances. The whole idea that we're in a battle between tyranny and freedom - it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/our-culture-is-just-a-series-of-checks-and-balances-the-whole-idea/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

> [For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't you know, it's interesting. I think we don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-stewart/for-me-it-was-just-exciting-to-see-fake-news-catching-on-like-that-we/)

[Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-stewart/)

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                        "text": "Democrats - always standing up for what they later realize they should have believed in.",
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                        "text": "Yes, it seems that as the President (George W. Bush) comes to the end of his two terms, he's finally realized the best way to get things done for you, is for you to do it.",
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                        "text": "Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining the sh*t you just broke doesn't work.",
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                        "text": "If Obama's a tyrant, then he's pretty lame for a tyrant. How many tyrants do you know that really suffer because they can't get cloture? Very few.",
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                        "text": "[John McCain] didn't believe me. I think anybody who's been in a POW camp for five years can - take eight minutes on The Daily Show.",
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                        "text": "I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'",
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                        "text": "If the guy in front of you at the polls has arm swords, you might want to considering filling out an absentee ballot.",
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                        "text": "Despite his infirmities, Strom Thurmond showed up to work every day and did not miss a Senate vote in his final year, though no one is sure if a shouted 'Bingo!' counted as a yea or a nay.",
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                        "text": "Republicans are no longer allowed to say that people are rich. You have to refer to them as 'job creator.' You can't even use the word 'rich.' You have to say, 'This chocolate cake is so moist and job creator.'",
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                        "text": "Really, an historic night last night. You may have heard, Barack Obama will be the first black president of the United States of America. ... Obama is also the first Democrat to receive more than 50 percent of the vote since Jimmy Carter, the first senator to be elected since Jack Kennedy, the first Muslim to be ... I said too much.",
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                        "text": "All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say \"Questioning the president is less supportive to you than extending your tour three months.\" You should be coming home to your family.",
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                        "text": "If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the world but not with Republicans? Maybe he's not the problem.",
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                        "text": "If there was one lesson to be drawn from Bush's appearance (on 'Meet the Press') it's that he doesn't have to be forthcoming or honest. And he's the first to tell you why. (Bush:) 'I'm a war president.' He added: 'I guess I should have told you that back in 2000.'",
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                        "text": "They have to put Trump on every program, spewing his crazy ideas, because his poll numbers are so high. And his poll numbers are so high because they put him on every program, spewing his crazy ideas.",
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                        "text": "Much of John Kerry's recent surge has come at the expense of Howard Dean. The situation reflected in his hot new bumper sticker, 'Dated Dean, Married Kerry.' It's cute and a lot more tasteful than the alternative version, 'Dated Dean, Married Kerry, Finger-Banged Kucinich.'",
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                        "text": "I could never wrap my head around why the world and the President that Republicans describe bears so little resemblance to the world and the President that I experience. And now I know why. There is a President Obama that only Republicans can see.",
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                        "text": "The Republican party is the party of nostalgia. It seeks to return America to a simpler, more innocent and moral past that never actually existed. The Democrats are utopians. They seek to create an America so fair and non-judgmental that life becomes an unbearable series of apologies. Together, the two parties function like giant down comforters, allowing a candidate to disappear into the enveloping softness, protecting them from exposure to the harsh weather of independent thought.",
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                        "text": "The White House released documents it claims validates the president's (National Guard) service ... When deciphered the documents showed that in a one-year period, 1972 and 1973, Bush received credit for nine days of active National Guard service. The traditional term of service then and now for the National Guard is one weekend a month and two full weeks a year, meaning that Bush's nine-day stint qualifies him only for the National Guard's National Guard. That's the National Guard's National Guard, an Army of None.",
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                        "text": "Former Vermont Governor Howard Dean was all smiles, well smirks, after picking up the endorsement of former Vice President Al Gore at a rally in Harlem ... Gore went on to praise Dean for taking a tough anti-war stance before the invasion of Iraq and he praised Dean supporters in hopes that will ease his concerns over lack of foreign policy experience, and his lack of support among blacks and Latinos, and his hot temperament, and perceived arrogance, and policy flip-flops, and campaign glitches. Well, there's a lot going on here.",
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                        "text": "“Each party has a platform--a pre-fixed menu of beliefs making up its worldview. The candidate can choose one of the two platforms, but remember: no substitutions. For example, do you support healthcare? Then you must also want a ban on assault weapons. Pro limited government? Congratulations, you are also anti-abortion. Luckily, all human opinion falls neatly into one of the two clearly defined camps. Thus, the two-party system elegantly represents the bi-chromatic rainbow that is American political thought.”",
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                        "text": "If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this is, I think, probably a horrible analogy - but I look at politicians as they are doing what inherently they need to do to retain power. Their job is to consolidate power. When you go to the zoo and you see a monkey throwing poop, you go, 'That's what monkeys do, what are you gonna do?' But what I wish the media would do more frequently is say, 'Bad monkey.'",
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                        "text": "Democrats do have a historic race going. Hillary Clinton vs. Barack Obama. Normally, when you see a black man or a woman president an asteroid is about to hit the Statue of Liberty.",
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                        "text": "[John McCain] stopped connecting and just looked at my chest and decided, \"I'm just gonna continue to talk about honor and duty and the families should be proud,\" all the things that are cudgels emotionally to keep us from the conversation. But, things that weren't relevant to what we were talking about.",
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                        "text": "It is hard to get mad at Donald Trump for saying stupid things, in the same way you don't get mad at a monkey when he throws poop at you at the zoo... What does get me angry is the ridiculous, disingenuous defending of the poop-throwing monkey.",
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                        "text": "While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and balanced Vermont's budget - all traditionally conservative policies. Dean also received an 'A' rating from the National Rifle Association, which I think you can't get unless you've killed a guy.",
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                        "text": "Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a Vietnamese POW camp, publicly releases 1,000 pages of medical records. Now people are left with only open nagging questions: what kind of freak has 1,000 pages of medical records?",
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                        "text": "President Bush's approval ratings have taken somewhat of a dive. A senior slump, if you will. Leading President Bush to one conclusion: He is the only one who realizes what a great job he's being doing.",
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                        "text": "I wonder who really is the change candidate? It can't be both of them [Hillary Clinton & Barak Obama]. What would be a black man and a woman - how could that be different than the 43 other Presidents we've had?",
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                        "text": "GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of the people, and reveal him to be a bit of a fat cat. Unlike the President who as we all know before attending Andover and Yale, was a Cockney matchstick girl dying of tuberculosis.",
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                        "text": "The conversation that the Senate and the House are having with the President [Barack Obama] was very similar to the conversation that [John] McCain and I were having, which was two people talking over each other and nobody really addressing the underlying issues of what kind of country do we want to be.",
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                        "text": "If you are a minority or an interest group, the Democrats will hold the debate at your house. Whereas Republicans take a slightly different approach: they have a big tent - you're just not allowed in it.",
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                        "text": "Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It's Romney's inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax code largesse, that’s a little offensive to people, especially considering Romney's view on anyone else who looks to the government for things like, I don't know, food and medicine.",
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