--- title: "9 Tooth Quotes By Jarod Kintz" description: "9 Tooth quotes by Jarod Kintz. Plus more from Jarod Kintz and more Tooth sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb3/jarod-kintz-2_fried-chicken_i-brush-my-teeth-with-a-leg-of-fried-chi_2782539.jpg" --- > [“I brush my teeth with a leg of fried chicken, and gravy is my toothpaste.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-brush-my-teeth-with-a-leg-of-fried-chicken-and-gravy-is-my/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb3/jarod-kintz-2_fried-chicken_i-brush-my-teeth-with-a-leg-of-fried-chi_2782539.jpg) > [“A vibrating toothbrush is one hygienic marvel of a sex toy. The next time I want to make love, I’ll make a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-vibrating-toothbrush-is-one-hygienic-marvel-of-a-sex-toy-the-next/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0fe/jarod-kintz-2_love_a-vibrating-toothbrush-is-one-hygienic-m_1352498.jpg) > [“A mechanical toothbrush is the greatest oral device in the history of the sex toy industry.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-mechanical-toothbrush-is-the-greatest-oral-device-in-the-history-of/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c72/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-mechanical-toothbrush-is-the-greatest_1394510.jpg) > [“I converted my mechanical toothbrush into an electric screwdriver. Now it more comfortably fits the contours of my urethra.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-converted-my-mechanical-toothbrush-into-an-electric-screwdriver-now/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/637/jarod-kintz-2_tooth_i-converted-my-mechanical-toothbrush-int_2884088.jpg) > [“How many supermodels can you fit in a toothpick canister? I don’t know, but I prefer floss.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/how-many-supermodels-can-you-fit-in-a-toothpick-canister-i-don-t-know/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee5/jarod-kintz-2_quote_how-many-supermodels-can-you-fit-in-a-to_2252509.jpg) > [“I had nothing to eat for desert, so I ate a tube of toothpaste. The coolest part was not having to brush…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-had-nothing-to-eat-for-desert-so-i-ate-a-tube-of-toothpaste-the/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d7/jarod-kintz-2_quote_i-had-nothing-to-eat-for-desert-so-i-ate_2086660.jpg) > [“In the morning I brush my teeth with hope, and at night before bed I brush them with defeat. Both are mint…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/in-the-morning-i-brush-my-teeth-with-hope-and-at-night-before-bed-i/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e61/jarod-kintz-2_failure_in-the-morning-i-brush-my-teeth-with-hop_761205.jpg) > [“Toothpaste pie is no substitute for swishing around minty-fresh love in your mouth and then rinsing out with cold, refreshing reality. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/toothpaste-pie-is-no-substitute-for-swishing-around-minty-fresh-love/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/jarod-kintz-2_love_toothpaste-pie-is-no-substitute-for-swis_1932274.jpg) > [“It wouldn’t necessarily be tongue in cheek if a woman told me I kiss like a toothbrush. And I do. In fact,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/it-wouldn-t-necessarily-be-tongue-in-cheek-if-a-woman-told-me-i-kiss/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62a/jarod-kintz-2_tongue-in-cheek_it-wouldn-t-necessarily-be-tongue-in-che_2106133.jpg) ## More by Jarod Kintz > [“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-notice-when-you-re-gone-or-do-i-how-can-i-observe-something-that/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-wouldn-t-love-you-if-you-were-the-last-sodomite-in-gomorrah/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-make-sweet-sweet-music-with-the-love-of/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-slow-down-time-sort-of-like-a-camel-in-a/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-have-a-love-so-pure-that-it-makes-snow-seem-yellow-don-t-eat-it/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-hid-mrs-frozenwater-s-body-in-the-ice-cube-trays-in-my-freezer/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/two-similar-words-might-lead-to-two-similar-ideas-they-might-also/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-itself-is-and-at/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/embossed-letters-represent-the-topography-of-typography/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/there-s-only-one-piece-of-clothing-i-could-eat-fast-and-that-s-a-scarf/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/dora-j-arod-is-to-jarod-ora-as-yes-is-to-yes-yes-is-also-the-correct/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-best-part-about-being-kidnapped-is-being-blindfolded-and-getting/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/orafoura-once-told-me-that-if-i-were-a-car-i-d-be-a-ferrari-one-that/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/what-makes-a-good-leader-i-ask-myself-this-every-day-and-then-as-i/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-d-like-to-file-a-missing-person-s-report-on-my-clone-it-s-nearly/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tooth/jarod-kintz/#itemlist", "name": "9 Tooth Quotes By Jarod Kintz", "numberOfItems": 9, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I brush my teeth with a leg of fried chicken, and gravy is my toothpaste.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-brush-my-teeth-with-a-leg-of-fried-chicken-and-gravy-is-my/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb3/jarod-kintz-2_fried-chicken_i-brush-my-teeth-with-a-leg-of-fried-chi_2782539.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb3/jarod-kintz-2_fried-chicken_i-brush-my-teeth-with-a-leg-of-fried-chi_2782539.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb3/jarod-kintz-2_fried-chicken_i-brush-my-teeth-with-a-leg-of-fried-chi_2782539.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I brush my teeth with a leg of fried chicken, and gravy is my toothpaste.” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“A vibrating toothbrush is one hygienic marvel of a sex toy. The next time I want to make love, I’ll make a dentist appointment.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-vibrating-toothbrush-is-one-hygienic-marvel-of-a-sex-toy-the-next/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0fe/jarod-kintz-2_love_a-vibrating-toothbrush-is-one-hygienic-m_1352498.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0fe/jarod-kintz-2_love_a-vibrating-toothbrush-is-one-hygienic-m_1352498.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0fe/jarod-kintz-2_love_a-vibrating-toothbrush-is-one-hygienic-m_1352498.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“A vibrating toothbrush is one hygienic marvel of a sex toy. The next time I want to make love, I’ll make a…” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“A mechanical toothbrush is the greatest oral device in the history of the sex toy industry.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-mechanical-toothbrush-is-the-greatest-oral-device-in-the-history-of/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c72/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-mechanical-toothbrush-is-the-greatest_1394510.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c72/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-mechanical-toothbrush-is-the-greatest_1394510.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c72/jarod-kintz-2_quote_a-mechanical-toothbrush-is-the-greatest_1394510.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“A mechanical toothbrush is the greatest oral device in the history of the sex toy industry.” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I converted my mechanical toothbrush into an electric screwdriver. Now it more comfortably fits the contours of my urethra.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-converted-my-mechanical-toothbrush-into-an-electric-screwdriver-now/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/637/jarod-kintz-2_tooth_i-converted-my-mechanical-toothbrush-int_2884088.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/637/jarod-kintz-2_tooth_i-converted-my-mechanical-toothbrush-int_2884088.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/637/jarod-kintz-2_tooth_i-converted-my-mechanical-toothbrush-int_2884088.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I converted my mechanical toothbrush into an electric screwdriver. Now it more comfortably fits the contours…” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“How many supermodels can you fit in a toothpick canister? I don’t know, but I prefer floss.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/how-many-supermodels-can-you-fit-in-a-toothpick-canister-i-don-t-know/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee5/jarod-kintz-2_quote_how-many-supermodels-can-you-fit-in-a-to_2252509.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee5/jarod-kintz-2_quote_how-many-supermodels-can-you-fit-in-a-to_2252509.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee5/jarod-kintz-2_quote_how-many-supermodels-can-you-fit-in-a-to_2252509.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“How many supermodels can you fit in a toothpick canister? I don’t know, but I prefer floss.” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I had nothing to eat for desert, so I ate a tube of toothpaste. The coolest part was not having to brush my teeth before bed.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-had-nothing-to-eat-for-desert-so-i-ate-a-tube-of-toothpaste-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d7/jarod-kintz-2_quote_i-had-nothing-to-eat-for-desert-so-i-ate_2086660.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d7/jarod-kintz-2_quote_i-had-nothing-to-eat-for-desert-so-i-ate_2086660.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d7/jarod-kintz-2_quote_i-had-nothing-to-eat-for-desert-so-i-ate_2086660.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I had nothing to eat for desert, so I ate a tube of toothpaste. The coolest part was not having to brush my…” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“In the morning I brush my teeth with hope, and at night before bed I brush them with defeat. Both are mint flavored, so I try not to get them mixed up.\u2028”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/in-the-morning-i-brush-my-teeth-with-hope-and-at-night-before-bed-i/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e61/jarod-kintz-2_failure_in-the-morning-i-brush-my-teeth-with-hop_761205.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e61/jarod-kintz-2_failure_in-the-morning-i-brush-my-teeth-with-hop_761205.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e61/jarod-kintz-2_failure_in-the-morning-i-brush-my-teeth-with-hop_761205.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In the morning I brush my teeth with hope, and at night before bed I brush them with defeat. Both are mint…” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Toothpaste pie is no substitute for swishing around minty-fresh love in your mouth and then rinsing out with cold, refreshing reality. But don’t take my word for it, because I’m not a dentist.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/toothpaste-pie-is-no-substitute-for-swishing-around-minty-fresh-love/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/jarod-kintz-2_love_toothpaste-pie-is-no-substitute-for-swis_1932274.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/jarod-kintz-2_love_toothpaste-pie-is-no-substitute-for-swis_1932274.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/18e/jarod-kintz-2_love_toothpaste-pie-is-no-substitute-for-swis_1932274.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Toothpaste pie is no substitute for swishing around minty-fresh love in your mouth and then rinsing out with…” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It wouldn’t necessarily be tongue in cheek if a woman told me I kiss like a toothbrush. And I do. In fact, 9 out of 10 dentists recommend kissing me right before bed. Oh, and the 10th dentist, the one with the dissenting opinion? S/he’s probably asexual, and I’m sure s/he must have lots of cavities.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/it-wouldn-t-necessarily-be-tongue-in-cheek-if-a-woman-told-me-i-kiss/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62a/jarod-kintz-2_tongue-in-cheek_it-wouldn-t-necessarily-be-tongue-in-che_2106133.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62a/jarod-kintz-2_tongue-in-cheek_it-wouldn-t-necessarily-be-tongue-in-che_2106133.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62a/jarod-kintz-2_tongue-in-cheek_it-wouldn-t-necessarily-be-tongue-in-che_2106133.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It wouldn’t necessarily be tongue in cheek if a woman told me I kiss like a toothbrush. And I do. In fact, 9…” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tooth/jarod-kintz/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tooth/jarod-kintz/", "name": "Tooth Quotes by Jarod Kintz", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tooth/jarod-kintz/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb3/jarod-kintz-2_fried-chicken_i-brush-my-teeth-with-a-leg-of-fried-chi_2782539.jpg" }, "description": "9 Tooth quotes by Jarod Kintz. Plus more from Jarod Kintz and more Tooth sayings from other authors.", "breadcrumb": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tooth/jarod-kintz/#breadcrumb" } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tooth/jarod-kintz/#breadcrumb", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Topics", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Tooth", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tooth/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "name": "Jarod Kintz", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tooth/jarod-kintz/" } ] }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```