---
title: "Best Today Sayings by Jay Leno"
description: "83 Today quotes by Jay Leno. Plus more from Jay Leno and more Today sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/099/jay-leno-210_accountant_vice-president-joe-biden-said-today-that_2139534.png"
---

> [Vice President Joe Biden said today that 'Syria must be held accountable.' Unfortunately, the Obama administration has never employed an accountant, so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/vice-president-joe-biden-said-today-that-syria-must-be-held/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/099/jay-leno-210_accountant_vice-president-joe-biden-said-today-that_2139534.png)

> [And Ralph Nader, God bless him, still out there campaigning. Ralph Nader said today he has set a record for the most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/and-ralph-nader-god-bless-him-still-out-there-campaigning-ralph-nader/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef3/jay-leno-210_bless_and-ralph-nader-god-bless-him-still-out_664589.jpg)

> [Elections officials here in California are concerned that having 247 candidates would require a ballot so long it would be difficult to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/elections-officials-here-in-california-are-concerned-that-having-247/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c50/jay-leno-210_ballot_elections-officials-here-in-california-a_935232.jpg)

## Other authors on Today

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b021/author-rush-limbaugh-81741.jpg) Rush Limbaugh 73 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/rush-limbaugh/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-barack-obama-16275.jpg) Barack Obama 66 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/barack-obama/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b019/author-pope-francis-75890.jpg) Pope Francis 60 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/pope-francis/)
- [Martin Luther King, Jr 53 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/martin-luther-king-jr/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b021/author-ronald-reagan-81107.jpg) Ronald Reagan 45 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/ronald-reagan/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b007/author-conan-obrien-24934.jpg) Conan O'Brien 44 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/conan-o-brien/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b013/author-john-c-maxwell-51081.jpg) John C. Maxwell 43 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/john-c-maxwell/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b016/author-marianne-williamson-63745.jpg) Marianne Williamson 42 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/marianne-williamson/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b007/author-david-letterman-27689.jpg) David Letterman 42 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/david-letterman/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b016/author-mahatma-gandhi-62675.jpg) Mahatma Gandhi 38 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/mahatma-gandhi/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b008/author-donald-trump-30060.jpg) Donald Trump 38 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/donald-trump/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b007/author-dalai-lama-26000.jpg) Dalai Lama 38 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/dalai-lama/)

## More by Jay Leno

> [If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/if-you-restore-a-car-and-you-re-making-money-then-you-re-doing-it/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/bush-reiterated-his-stand-to-conservatives-opposing-his-decision-on/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Michael Jackson has a new baby boy; no word yet who the father is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/michael-jackson-has-a-new-baby-boy-no-word-yet-who-the-father-is/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/there-is-a-nationwide-shortage-of-drugs-for-attention-deficit/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/leno-said-the-rainy-weather-in-california-couldn-t-have-come-at-a/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/donald-trump-said-he-will-not-decide-about-a-possible-run-for-the/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/american-forces-in-iraq-found-650-million-in-american-cash-sealed-in/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/i-wanted-to-have-a-career-in-sports-when-i-was-young-but-i-had-to/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/texas-gov-rick-perry-referred-to-the-mexican-city-of-juarez-as-the/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/you-can-tell-you-ate-too-much-for-thanksgiving-when-you-have-to-let/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/the-mayans-have-predicted-the-world-is-supposed-to-end-on-december-21/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/the-globe-reports-that-north-korean-dictator-kim-jong-il-raises-money/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/here-is-your-government-at-work-a-congressman-from-colorado-said-he/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/jack-abramoff-is-going-to-testify-against-some-of-the-other-weasels/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

> [Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/tomorrow-america-s-most-famous-hockey-mom-sarah-palin-will-drop-the/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

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