--- title: "15 Time Quotes By Dana Gould" description: "15 Time quotes by Dana Gould. Plus more from Dana Gould and more Time sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/176/dana-gould-1290_late_i-try-to-live-in-the-moment-but-by-the-t_2231841.png" --- > [I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-try-to-live-in-the-moment-but-by-the-time-i-get-there-it-s-too-late/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/176/dana-gould-1290_late_i-try-to-live-in-the-moment-but-by-the-t_2231841.png) > [I tried synchronized swimming, but felt, over time, I was just going through the motions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-tried-synchronized-swimming-but-felt-over-time-i-was-just-going/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8d/dana-gould-1290_felt_i-tried-synchronized-swimming-but-felt-o_961279.png) > [Scatterbrain is one of those harmless little words you use a million times... Then it turns up in a crime scene description.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/scatterbrain-is-one-of-those-harmless-little-words-you-use-a-million/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/026/dana-gould-1290_crime_scatterbrain-is-one-of-those-harmless-li_3173379.png) > [One day they will invent a time machine and, like the internet, it will be used primarily for boning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/one-day-they-will-invent-a-time-machine-and-like-the-internet-it-will/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3b1/dana-gould-1290_computers_one-day-they-will-invent-a-time-machine_2547719.png) > [Every time I fold the baby's clothes I feel like a giant that got a housekeeping job with a nice family.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/every-time-i-fold-the-baby-s-clothes-i-feel-like-a-giant-that-got-a/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a18/dana-gould-1290_baby_every-time-i-fold-the-baby-s-clothes-i-f_1746898.png) > [Every time the circus comes to town, I can't help thinking, Somewhere out there, there's clown semen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/every-time-the-circus-comes-to-town-i-can-t-help-thinking-somewhere/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d49/dana-gould-1290_circus_every-time-the-circus-comes-to-town-i-ca_1680258.png) > [When I finally invent a time machine you will already know about it because I'll have told you a long time ago.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/when-i-finally-invent-a-time-machine-you-will-already-know-about-it/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86f/dana-gould-1290_computers_when-i-finally-invent-a-time-machine-you_465432.png) > [I would think, if you were horny enough, there'd come a time when it was hos before bros.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-would-think-if-you-were-horny-enough-there-d-come-a-time-when-it/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e03/dana-gould-1290_bros_i-would-think-if-you-were-horny-enough-t_1585575.png) > [You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/you-write-the-script-and-then-you-just-go-over-it-400-times-and-make/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21d/dana-gould-1290_jokes_you-write-the-script-and-then-you-just-g_1209120.png) > [We broke up, and my first reaction was 'Fine - I've been through this too many times. I can't change your mind.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/we-broke-up-and-my-first-reaction-was-fine-i-ve-been-through-this-too/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d08/dana-gould-1290_broke_we-broke-up-and-my-first-reaction-was-fi_1370813.jpg) > [Women do it all the time to look younger and it would make perfect sense if one of them ever came out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/women-do-it-all-the-time-to-look-younger-and-it-would-make-perfect/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e4/dana-gould-1290_band_women-do-it-all-the-time-to-look-younger_1984052.jpg) > [Whenever someone starts a statement with, Let me tell you the kind of guy I am, that is a great time to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/whenever-someone-starts-a-statement-with-let-me-tell-you-the-kind-of/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b7e/dana-gould-1290_great-times_whenever-someone-starts-a-statement-with_1254900.png) > [Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/since-the-dawn-of-time-primitive-humans-thought-loved-and-had-poetry/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d70/dana-gould-1290_dawn_since-the-dawn-of-time-primitive-humans_2341840.png) > [I know that big, important things don't just come together overnight, but I've been me for a long time now and it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-know-that-big-important-things-don-t-just-come-together-overnight/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4e6/dana-gould-1290_bigs_i-know-that-big-important-things-don-t-j_1183335.png) > [The hard part about living in the present is it forces you to abandon hope for the future. Thanks for nothing, now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/the-hard-part-about-living-in-the-present-is-it-forces-you-to-abandon/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/198/dana-gould-1290_abandon_the-hard-part-about-living-in-the-presen_1385972.jpg) ## Other authors on Time - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-sunday-adelaja-87912.jpg) Sunday Adelaja 1,532 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/sunday-adelaja/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-ritu-ghatourey-5.jpg) Ritu Ghatourey 437 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/ritu-ghatourey/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-nishan-panwar-14.jpg) Nishan Panwar 409 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/nishan-panwar/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b019/author-paulo-coelho-74345.jpg) Paulo Coelho 398 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/paulo-coelho/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-frederick-lenz-36205.jpg) Frederick Lenz 355 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/frederick-lenz/) - [Jarod Kintz 339 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/jarod-kintz/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b011/author-haruki-murakami-40784.jpg) Haruki Murakami 308 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/haruki-murakami/) - [Mehmet Murat ildan 302 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/mehmet-murat-ildan/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b008/author-eckhart-tolle-31242.jpg) Eckhart Tolle 291 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/eckhart-tolle/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-barack-obama-16275.jpg) Barack Obama 272 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/barack-obama/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-anurag-prakash-ray-38.jpg) Anurag Prakash Ray 263 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/anurag-prakash-ray/) - [Ralph Waldo Emerson 257 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/ralph-waldo-emerson/) ## More by Dana Gould > [As hard as I try to live with some degree of faith in my life, I just can't believe that the full moon can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/as-hard-as-i-try-to-live-with-some-degree-of-faith-in-my-life-i-just/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [The older I get, the more I look like my favorite shoes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/the-older-i-get-the-more-i-look-like-my-favorite-shoes/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [Somewhere, there's someone who's masturbation ritual ends with them setting up ventriloquist dummies facing the bed. I mean, someone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/somewhere-there-s-someone-who-s-masturbation-ritual-ends-with-them/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [I feel very uncomfortable when I eat in restaurants. I'm obnoxiously polite with the waiters: 'I just want a tuna sandwich. I'll go get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-feel-very-uncomfortable-when-i-eat-in-restaurants-i-m-obnoxiously/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [Cowboy boots with a suit? You're a rough, tough businessman. Chaps with a bow tie? You're in the rough, tough man business.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/cowboy-boots-with-a-suit-you-re-a-rough-tough-businessman-chaps-with/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [Despite a primitive brain, the octopus possesses an intricate system that helps it decide which tentacle to masturbate with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/despite-a-primitive-brain-the-octopus-possesses-an-intricate-system/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [I got mugged about six months ago. The oddest thing about the entire situation, though, was that I wasn't afraid, which is strange because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-got-mugged-about-six-months-ago-the-oddest-thing-about-the-entire/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [I'm the Forrest Gump of comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-m-the-forrest-gump-of-comedy/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [It's gonna be awesome! A suspected pedophile dunks my kids head in a bucket so when she dies she can live in an invisible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/it-s-gonna-be-awesome-a-suspected-pedophile-dunks-my-kids-head-in-a/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [If I ever go into a coma, one of you has to promise to come by occasionally and tweeze my unibrow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-i-ever-go-into-a-coma-one-of-you-has-to-promise-to-come-by/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [They say that God is in the details. Then again, they also say that the Devil is in the details. Boy, talk about awkward.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/they-say-that-god-is-in-the-details-then-again-they-also-say-that-the/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [I have one phobia, snakes. And by snakes I mean intimacy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-have-one-phobia-snakes-and-by-snakes-i-mean-intimacy/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [My whole approach to marriage is simple: my wife will do something that drives me insane, I won't say anything, and then, later, I'll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/my-whole-approach-to-marriage-is-simple-my-wife-will-do-something/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [Wrote a science fiction novel about a man who wins an argument with his wife, but it was rejected for being too farfetched.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/wrote-a-science-fiction-novel-about-a-man-who-wins-an-argument-with/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) > [If life begins at conception, but you can be born again later, only to live on eternally after death, what's the big deal about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/if-life-begins-at-conception-but-you-can-be-born-again-later-only-to/) [Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/dana-gould/#itemlist", "name": "15 Time Quotes By Dana Gould", "numberOfItems": 15, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-try-to-live-in-the-moment-but-by-the-time-i-get-there-it-s-too-late/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/176/dana-gould-1290_late_i-try-to-live-in-the-moment-but-by-the-t_2231841.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/176/dana-gould-1290_late_i-try-to-live-in-the-moment-but-by-the-t_2231841.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/176/dana-gould-1290_late_i-try-to-live-in-the-moment-but-by-the-t_2231841.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I try to live in the moment, but by the time I get there it's too late.” — Dana Gould", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I tried synchronized swimming, but felt, over time, I was just going through the motions.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-tried-synchronized-swimming-but-felt-over-time-i-was-just-going/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8d/dana-gould-1290_felt_i-tried-synchronized-swimming-but-felt-o_961279.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8d/dana-gould-1290_felt_i-tried-synchronized-swimming-but-felt-o_961279.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c8d/dana-gould-1290_felt_i-tried-synchronized-swimming-but-felt-o_961279.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I tried synchronized swimming, but felt, over time, I was just going through the motions.” — Dana Gould", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Scatterbrain is one of those harmless little words you use a million times... 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It really is true. That's essentially the way it works.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/you-write-the-script-and-then-you-just-go-over-it-400-times-and-make/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21d/dana-gould-1290_jokes_you-write-the-script-and-then-you-just-g_1209120.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21d/dana-gould-1290_jokes_you-write-the-script-and-then-you-just-g_1209120.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21d/dana-gould-1290_jokes_you-write-the-script-and-then-you-just-g_1209120.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You write the script, and then you just go over it 400 times and make all the jokes better. It really is…” — Dana Gould", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We broke up, and my first reaction was 'Fine - I've been through this too many times. I can't change your mind. I can't live your life for you. You're gone in your direction. I'm going to pick up; I'm going to go in my direction. I'm not going to live in the past. I'm not going to embrace the pain. You go, I'll go, and that will be it.' 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They also pooped on everything. It was horrible.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dana Gould" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/since-the-dawn-of-time-primitive-humans-thought-loved-and-had-poetry/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d70/dana-gould-1290_dawn_since-the-dawn-of-time-primitive-humans_2341840.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d70/dana-gould-1290_dawn_since-the-dawn-of-time-primitive-humans_2341840.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d70/dana-gould-1290_dawn_since-the-dawn-of-time-primitive-humans_2341840.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Since the dawn of time, primitive humans thought, loved and had poetry. They also pooped on everything. 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