--- title: "10 Time Quotes By Artie Lange" description: "10 Time quotes by Artie Lange. Plus more from Artie Lange and more Time sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eec/artie-lange-7262_black_when-i-black-out-it-s-the-happiest-time_482600.jpg" --- > [When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-i-black-out-it-s-the-happiest-time-of-my-life/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eec/artie-lange-7262_black_when-i-black-out-it-s-the-happiest-time_482600.jpg) > [By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/by-the-time-i-am-howard-s-age-i-hope-to-be-long-retired-i-don-t-plan/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5b2/artie-lange-7262_age_by-the-time-i-am-howard-s-age-i-hope-to_272503.jpg) > [I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/i-was-at-yankee-stadium-one-time-at-5-a-m-but-that-was-to-buy-angel/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d7b/artie-lange-7262_angel_i-was-at-yankee-stadium-one-time-at-5-a_2453670.jpg) > [I'm like the master of ceremonies being funny, and then sometimes people you're with, girlfriends and stuff, are like, 'God I wish…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/i-m-like-the-master-of-ceremonies-being-funny-and-then-sometimes/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e35/artie-lange-7262_being_i-m-like-the-master-of-ceremonies-being_2285565.jpg) > [Richard Lewis is the master at taking a joke that he's told a million times in a row in the past year,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/richard-lewis-is-the-master-at-taking-a-joke-that-he-s-told-a-million/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04e/artie-lange-7262_air_richard-lewis-is-the-master-at-taking-a_2037621.jpg) > [The Howard Stern Show is a big hit because it entertains dumb and smart people at the same time for different reasons.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-howard-stern-show-is-a-big-hit-because-it-entertains-dumb-and/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96b/artie-lange-7262_because_the-howard-stern-show-is-a-big-hit-becau_3124950.jpg) > [I never went through a period were I wanted to be a doctor, a cop or even a rock star. All I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/i-never-went-through-a-period-were-i-wanted-to-be-a-doctor-a-cop-or/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e35/artie-lange-7262_about_i-never-went-through-a-period-were-i-wan_1586947.jpg) > [When I encountered rich people for the first time, I discovered that not only do they holiday in places that are hard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-i-encountered-rich-people-for-the-first-time-i-discovered-that/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0e/artie-lange-7262_also_when-i-encountered-rich-people-for-the-f_1242274.jpg) > [When you're an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one season. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-you-re-an-adult-when-times-are-good-entire-years-go-by-in-what/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d91/artie-lange-7262_adult_when-you-re-an-adult-when-times-are-good_1073905.jpg) > [People are so nice, you know. It's such a credit to Howard Stern - the audience base that he created is such…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/people-are-so-nice-you-know-it-s-such-a-credit-to-howard-stern-the/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb5/artie-lange-7262_audience_people-are-so-nice-you-know-it-s-such-a_1868129.jpg) ## Other authors on Time - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-sunday-adelaja-87912.jpg) Sunday Adelaja 1,532 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/sunday-adelaja/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-ritu-ghatourey-5.jpg) Ritu Ghatourey 437 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/ritu-ghatourey/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-nishan-panwar-14.jpg) Nishan Panwar 409 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/nishan-panwar/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b019/author-paulo-coelho-74345.jpg) Paulo Coelho 398 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/paulo-coelho/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b010/author-frederick-lenz-36205.jpg) Frederick Lenz 355 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/frederick-lenz/) - [Jarod Kintz 339 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/jarod-kintz/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b011/author-haruki-murakami-40784.jpg) Haruki Murakami 308 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/haruki-murakami/) - [Mehmet Murat ildan 302 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/mehmet-murat-ildan/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b008/author-eckhart-tolle-31242.jpg) Eckhart Tolle 291 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/eckhart-tolle/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b005/author-barack-obama-16275.jpg) Barack Obama 272 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/barack-obama/) - [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-anurag-prakash-ray-38.jpg) Anurag Prakash Ray 263 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/anurag-prakash-ray/) - [Ralph Waldo Emerson 257 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/ralph-waldo-emerson/) ## More by Artie Lange > [The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-point-of-drinking-in-moderation-is-that-sometimes-you-don-t-drink/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/it-is-funny-because-the-guy-who-is-my-boss-now-howard-stern-has-a/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [It's weird because standup can be like therapy. Comedians can't be satisfied with just having fun with our friends. We've got to figure out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/it-s-weird-because-standup-can-be-like-therapy-comedians-can-t-be/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don't realize this, he's a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a couple of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/a-rod-wants-to-be-like-babe-ruth-and-people-don-t-realize-this-he-s-a/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/at-the-mirage-sportsbook-you-can-get-a-line-on-2-kid-playing/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/of-course-in-show-business-there-are-two-ways-to-play-it-and-i-am-not/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/by-the-time-i-am-howard-s-age-i-hope-to-be-long-retired-i-don-t-plan/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-regular-guy-still-relates-to-him-and-howard-is-a-500-million-guy/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/the-only-reason-i-can-t-recommend-heroin-to-kids-is-because-the/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-i-black-out-it-s-the-happiest-time-of-my-life/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he's just... you know it's an act that's been honed. What you have to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/richard-lewis-has-this-incredible-ability-to-look-like-he-s-just-you/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/in-hollywood-there-is-another-name-for-a-woman-s-40th-birthday-party/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/everytime-i-go-to-vegas-i-seem-to-incur-some-kind-of-fine/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/it-s-not-a-drug-problem-until-you-run-out-of-money-until-then-it-s/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) > [Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/artie-is-going-to-do-what-ever-artie-wants-to-do/) [Artie Lange](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/artie-lange/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/artie-lange/#itemlist", "name": "10 Time Quotes By Artie Lange", "numberOfItems": 10, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-i-black-out-it-s-the-happiest-time-of-my-life/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eec/artie-lange-7262_black_when-i-black-out-it-s-the-happiest-time_482600.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eec/artie-lange-7262_black_when-i-black-out-it-s-the-happiest-time_482600.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eec/artie-lange-7262_black_when-i-black-out-it-s-the-happiest-time_482600.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. 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All I wanted to do was play short stop for the Yankees from the time I was about 5. Then I turned 15 and realized how silly that was and just gave up on it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/i-never-went-through-a-period-were-i-wanted-to-be-a-doctor-a-cop-or/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e35/artie-lange-7262_about_i-never-went-through-a-period-were-i-wan_1586947.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e35/artie-lange-7262_about_i-never-went-through-a-period-were-i-wan_1586947.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e35/artie-lange-7262_about_i-never-went-through-a-period-were-i-wan_1586947.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I never went through a period were I wanted to be a doctor, a cop or even a rock star. All I wanted to do…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When I encountered rich people for the first time, I discovered that not only do they holiday in places that are hard to find on a map, but that they also use the names of seasons as verbs. When they asked me, 'Where did you summer and winter growing up?' I would usually say, 'As a child? The same place I springed and autumned.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-i-encountered-rich-people-for-the-first-time-i-discovered-that/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0e/artie-lange-7262_also_when-i-encountered-rich-people-for-the-f_1242274.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0e/artie-lange-7262_also_when-i-encountered-rich-people-for-the-f_1242274.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d0e/artie-lange-7262_also_when-i-encountered-rich-people-for-the-f_1242274.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When I encountered rich people for the first time, I discovered that not only do they holiday in places that…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When you're an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one season. But the worst trick time plays on you is just how slowly the worst times in your life take you to live through.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/when-you-re-an-adult-when-times-are-good-entire-years-go-by-in-what/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d91/artie-lange-7262_adult_when-you-re-an-adult-when-times-are-good_1073905.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d91/artie-lange-7262_adult_when-you-re-an-adult-when-times-are-good_1073905.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d91/artie-lange-7262_adult_when-you-re-an-adult-when-times-are-good_1073905.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When you're an adult, when times are good, entire years go by in what feels like the space of one season…” — Artie Lange", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People are so nice, you know. It's such a credit to Howard Stern - the audience base that he created is such a special thing. It took him a long time to create this family of fans, and I was lucky to be a part of that for a while.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Artie Lange" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/artie-lange/people-are-so-nice-you-know-it-s-such-a-credit-to-howard-stern-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb5/artie-lange-7262_audience_people-are-so-nice-you-know-it-s-such-a_1868129.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb5/artie-lange-7262_audience_people-are-so-nice-you-know-it-s-such-a_1868129.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb5/artie-lange-7262_audience_people-are-so-nice-you-know-it-s-such-a_1868129.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People are so nice, you know. 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