---
title: "5 Thing Vampire Quotes by 5 authors"
description: "Browse 5 Thing Vampire quotes by 5 authors. Discover the best Thing Vampire sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/jack-handey-829_children_one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is_1154041.jpg"
---

> [One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-handey/one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is-never-run-with-a-wooden-stake/)

[Jack Handey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-handey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/672/jack-handey-829_children_one-thing-vampire-children-are-taught-is_1154041.jpg)

> [“If there were such a thing as a vampire-puppy-dog, it would be Cecil. Big pleading eyes, asking for an ear-scratch and a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franny-billingsley/if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-a-vampire-puppy-dog-it-would-be-cecil/)

[Franny Billingsley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franny-billingsley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/839/franny-billingsley-3192_dogs_if-there-were-such-a-thing-as-a-vampire_1635800.png)

> [“I’m just trying to do the right thing. I’m a vampire.” “Duh.” “And you’re not.” “Again: duh.” “I could hurt you. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alyxandra-harvey/i-m-just-trying-to-do-the-right-thing-i-m-a-vampire-duh-and-you-re/)

[Alyxandra Harvey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alyxandra-harvey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/044/alyxandra-harvey-2722_right-thing_i-m-just-trying-to-do-the-right-thing-i_1644004.jpg)

> [May I search it?" she asked. "We screen for weapons." I stared at her, always a risky thing to do to a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlaine-harris/may-i-search-it-she-asked-we-screen-for-weapons-i-stared-at-her/)

[Charlaine Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlaine-harris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66f/charlaine-harris-542_may_may-i-search-it-she-asked-we-screen-for_1994130.png)

> [One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden stakes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/one-thing-vampire-children-have-to-be-taught-early-on-is-don-t-run/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc9/anonymous-1_children_one-thing-vampire-children-have-to-be-ta_3082909.jpg)

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