--- title: "1 Thing Steal Quotes By Daniel Tosh" description: "1 Thing Steal quotes by Daniel Tosh. Plus more from Daniel Tosh and more Thing Steal sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b37/daniel-tosh-1624_arrested_my-favorite-thing-to-steal-is-a-kiss-you_1753308.png" --- > [My favorite thing to steal is a kiss. You can get arrested for it but they can't force you to give it back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/my-favorite-thing-to-steal-is-a-kiss-you-can-get-arrested-for-it-but/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b37/daniel-tosh-1624_arrested_my-favorite-thing-to-steal-is-a-kiss-you_1753308.png) ## More by Daniel Tosh > [Throwing a McDouble in the air at a fat camp and shouting, LET THE HUNGER GAMES BEGIN!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/throwing-a-mcdouble-in-the-air-at-a-fat-camp-and-shouting-let-the/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [Until I was thirteen I thought my name was Shutup.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/until-i-was-thirteen-i-thought-my-name-was-shutup/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [ I'm like our fearless leader \[Jesus\]. Where do I get my inspiration? I don't know. I just make fun of everything. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/i-m-like-our-fearless-leader-jesus-where-do-i-get-my-inspiration-i/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [I saw a guy wearing a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet and a Lance Armstrong bracelet, and he went up to this blind kid…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/i-saw-a-guy-wearing-a-what-would-jesus-do-bracelet-and-a-lance/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [Here's what I tell people now when they come to my shows: 'First of all, thank you for stimulating the economy, or at least…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/here-s-what-i-tell-people-now-when-they-come-to-my-shows-first-of-all/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [Doing a book signing tomorrow at Barnes & Noble. Bring your own book...I haven't written one yet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/doing-a-book-signing-tomorrow-at-barnes-noble-bring-your-own-book-i/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [Models: I'm not voting for you for any stupid magazine list! If you were really that Hot you wouldn't have to beg the world…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/models-i-m-not-voting-for-you-for-any-stupid-magazine-list-if-you/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [Thank you people that are laughing with your hand away from your mouth. That joke is clearly not for everyone, but I enjoy watching…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/thank-you-people-that-are-laughing-with-your-hand-away-from-your/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [If you have ever typed 'sorry not sorry' I hope you die...not sorry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/if-you-have-ever-typed-sorry-not-sorry-i-hope-you-die-not-sorry/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [You should never eat when you're on the toilet. "But I'm lactose-intolerant, and I always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/you-should-never-eat-when-you-re-on-the-toilet-but-i-m-lactose/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [I never want to cannibalize my act, and I'm really excited that I am going to be able to perform new material. I'm not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/i-never-want-to-cannibalize-my-act-and-i-m-really-excited-that-i-am/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [I'll do anything usually if there's money involved and little work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/i-ll-do-anything-usually-if-there-s-money-involved-and-little-work/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home in prison.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/anyone-who-has-been-to-an-english-public-school-will-always-feel/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [I go to the dentist every six months, I get a cleaning, so... I'm fortunate enough that those fluoride treatments as a child worked.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/i-go-to-the-dentist-every-six-months-i-get-a-cleaning-so-i-m/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) > [The day I notice a cyclist obey a stop sign is the day I'll stop enjoying watching them bounce off my hood.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-tosh/the-day-i-notice-a-cyclist-obey-a-stop-sign-is-the-day-i-ll-stop/) [Daniel Tosh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-tosh/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thing-steal/daniel-tosh/#itemlist", "name": "1 Thing Steal Quotes By Daniel Tosh", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "My favorite thing to steal is a kiss. 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