---
title: "77 Testicles Quotes by 66 authors"
description: "Browse 77 Testicles quotes by 66 authors. Discover the best Testicles sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/369/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_pox_a-pox-on-both-his-testicles-esperetta-97_975457.jpg"
---

> [A pox on both his testicles! (Esperetta)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/a-pox-on-both-his-testicles-esperetta/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/369/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_pox_a-pox-on-both-his-testicles-esperetta-97_975457.jpg)

> [Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-griffin/attention-restaurant-customers-testicles-that-is-all/)

[Peter Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-griffin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/81f/peter-griffin-16801_restaurant_attention-restaurant-customers-testicles_2307264.jpg)

> [I hang onto my prejudices, they are the testicles of my mind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-hoffer/i-hang-onto-my-prejudices-they-are-the-testicles-of-my-mind/)

[Eric Hoffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-hoffer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6cb/eric-hoffer-343_mind_i-hang-onto-my-prejudices-they-are-the-t_128910.jpg)

> [That wouldn't fit my right testicle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simone-elkeles/that-wouldn-t-fit-my-right-testicle/)

[Simone Elkeles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simone-elkeles/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5da/simone-elkeles-665_fit_that-wouldn-t-fit-my-right-testicle-1867_1867103.jpg)

> [“Carpe Scrotum. Seize life by the testicles”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rowena-cherry/carpe-scrotum-seize-life-by-the-testicles/)

[Rowena Cherry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rowena-cherry/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a7c/rowena-cherry-39130_futuristic_carpe-scrotum-seize-life-by-the-testicle_3032807.jpg)

> [“I have maggots in my scrotum.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trey-parker/i-have-maggots-in-my-scrotum/)

[Trey Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trey-parker/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/70d/trey-parker-4308_maggots_i-have-maggots-in-my-scrotum-871105_871105.png)

> [The average human has one breast and one testicle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/des-machale/the-average-human-has-one-breast-and-one-testicle/)

[Des MacHale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/des-machale/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d8b/des-machale-72544_average_the-average-human-has-one-breast-and-one_3210176.png)

> [“Why the testicles are we listing sex organs?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/benjamin-r-smith/why-the-testicles-are-we-listing-sex-organs/)

[Benjamin R. Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/benjamin-r-smith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2eb/benjamin-r-smith-15136_quote_why-the-testicles-are-we-listing-sex-org_1722382.jpg)

> [If you have got them by the testicles, their hearts and minds will follow!..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-have-got-them-by-the-testicles-their-hearts-and-minds-will/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e0/anonymous-1_if_if-you-have-got-them-by-the-testicles-th_1394839.jpg)

> [It’s all fun and games until someone loses a testicle. —T-SHIRT](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/it-s-all-fun-and-games-until-someone-loses-a-testicle-t-shirt/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/793/darynda-jones-474_fun_it-s-all-fun-and-games-until-someone-los_781594.png)

> [“The smell would have given me an erection if I'd still had testicles.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garth-stein/the-smell-would-have-given-me-an-erection-if-i-d-still-had-testicles/)

[Garth Stein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garth-stein/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e8/garth-stein-1965_smell_the-smell-would-have-given-me-an-erectio_2126380.png)

> [“It was larger than even usual, the tip damp with fluid, his testicles smooth and tight.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joey-w-hill/it-was-larger-than-even-usual-the-tip-damp-with-fluid-his-testicles/)

[Joey W. Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joey-w-hill/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73c/joey-w-hill-2643_fluid_it-was-larger-than-even-usual-the-tip-da_816386.jpg)

> [Berlin is the testicles of the West, every time I want the West to scream, I squeeze on Berlin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikita-khrushchev/berlin-is-the-testicles-of-the-west-every-time-i-want-the-west-to/)

[Nikita Khrushchev](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikita-khrushchev/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98d/nikita-khrushchev-7811_berlin_berlin-is-the-testicles-of-the-west-ever_743757.jpg)

> [“It had some sentalmental value, yes, but then again so do your testicles.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isa-k/it-had-some-sentalmental-value-yes-but-then-again-so-do-your-testicles/)

[Isa K](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isa-k/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/293/isa-k-46126_quote_it-had-some-sentalmental-value-yes-but-t_1120330.jpg)

> [I am not a fan of Sigmund Freud because his theories are not testicle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-wiseman/i-am-not-a-fan-of-sigmund-freud-because-his-theories-are-not-testicle/)

[Richard Wiseman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-wiseman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5be/richard-wiseman-19507_fans_i-am-not-a-fan-of-sigmund-freud-because_2783324.jpg)

> [Most directors make films with their eyes; I make films with my testicles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alejandro-jodorowsky/most-directors-make-films-with-their-eyes-i-make-films-with-my/)

[Alejandro Jodorowsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alejandro-jodorowsky/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c20/alejandro-jodorowsky-1890_cinema_most-directors-make-films-with-their-eye_303366.png)

> [A three-year old was examining his testicles while taking a bath. 'Mom,' he asked,'are these my brains?' 'Not yet.' she replied.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allan-pease/a-three-year-old-was-examining-his-testicles-while-taking-a-bath-mom/)

[Allan Pease](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allan-pease/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/528/allan-pease-37203_baths_a-three-year-old-was-examining-his-testi_2984413.png)

> [“Anaxagoras’ belief that lying on the right side during sex would produce a boy was so influential that centuries later some French…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-ridley/anaxagoras-belief-that-lying-on-the-right-side-during-sex-would/)

[Matt Ridley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-ridley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbc/matt-ridley-8082_faith_anaxagoras-belief-that-lying-on-the-righ_746678.jpg)

> [I want to throw down your kid and stomp on his testicles, and then you will know what it is like to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-tyson/i-want-to-throw-down-your-kid-and-stomp-on-his-testicles-and-then-you/)

[Mike Tyson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-tyson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02a/mike-tyson-752_everyday_i-want-to-throw-down-your-kid-and-stomp_1596898.jpg)

> [A writer who presents men and women as creatures truncated below the waist is exposed as one who goes about without his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/norman-lindsay/a-writer-who-presents-men-and-women-as-creatures-truncated-below-the/)

[Norman Lindsay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/norman-lindsay/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0b8/norman-lindsay-50057_creatures_a-writer-who-presents-men-and-women-as-c_1008666.jpg)

> [Eating any of these things, goat testicles or what have you, isn't going to be nice, but you get into that zone,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bear-grylls/eating-any-of-these-things-goat-testicles-or-what-have-you-isn-t/)

[Bear Grylls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bear-grylls/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9a/bear-grylls-2482_being-nice_eating-any-of-these-things-goat-testicle_1680505.jpg)

> [“I will never marry you. I will never have sex with you voluntarily. And the day you touch me without permission will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-vincent/i-will-never-marry-you-i-will-never-have-sex-with-you-voluntarily-and/)

[Rachel Vincent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-vincent/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad0/rachel-vincent-677_faythe-sanders_i-will-never-marry-you-i-will-never-have_572977.jpg)

> [You’re such a crybaby. (Tee) Let me almost shoot off one of your testicles and see how you cope. (Joe) You shouldn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/you-re-such-a-crybaby-tee-let-me-almost-shoot-off-one-of-your/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d5/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_agree_you-re-such-a-crybaby-tee-let-me-almost_1455932.jpg)

> [Nobody fights with Jerry because you know the price would be too high. You might come out the winner, at his age,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-layden/nobody-fights-with-jerry-because-you-know-the-price-would-be-too-high/)

[Frank Layden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-layden/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad5/frank-layden-56270_age_nobody-fights-with-jerry-because-you-kno_2348970.jpg)

> [I've been sniffing out the guys in my English class (to the extent that this is possible without getting my throat cut),…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaclyn-moriarty/i-ve-been-sniffing-out-the-guys-in-my-english-class-to-the-extent/)

[Jaclyn Moriarty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaclyn-moriarty/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e4/jaclyn-moriarty-13344_class_i-ve-been-sniffing-out-the-guys-in-my-en_2956005.png)

> [The first thing to say about Eve is that she was a big improvement on the Adam design, or that Adam was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/glen-duncan/the-first-thing-to-say-about-eve-is-that-she-was-a-big-improvement-on/)

[Glen Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/glen-duncan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/453/glen-duncan-1307_adam_the-first-thing-to-say-about-eve-is-that_746896.png)

> [Look, I understand that for a lot of people, the US is superior to their country of residence in myriad ways, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-barry/look-i-understand-that-for-a-lot-of-people-the-us-is-superior-to/)

[Max Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-barry/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1fc/max-barry-7380_australian_look-i-understand-that-for-a-lot-of-peop_1422862.jpg)

> [I gave my father a heart attack. It was a practical joke. Come on, you push a guy's face in a cake…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-titus/i-gave-my-father-a-heart-attack-it-was-a-practical-joke-come-on-you/)

[Christopher Titus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-titus/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/888/christopher-titus-1916_balloons_i-gave-my-father-a-heart-attack-it-was-a_395238.jpg)

> [I'm sure you know by now, Jesse Jackson was overheard saying, and I'll put this more delicately, that he wanted to cut…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/i-m-sure-you-know-by-now-jesse-jackson-was-overheard-saying-and-i-ll/)

[Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f59/jay-leno-210_barack_i-m-sure-you-know-by-now-jesse-jackson-w_1027670.png)

> [I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-noticed-that-all-the-prayers-i-used-to-offer-to-god-and-all-the/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28d/george-carlin-155_atheism_i-noticed-that-all-the-prayers-i-used-to_107949.jpg)

> [Are you always this random? (Jericho) Mostly. It really irritates Noir. Which is just an added bonus for me. At least so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/are-you-always-this-random-jericho-mostly-it-really-irritates-noir/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c46/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_add_are-you-always-this-random-jericho-mostl_2494446.jpg)

> [We all know what feminists are. They are shrill, overly aggressive, man-hating, ball-busting, selfish, hairy, extremist, deliberately unattractive women with absolutely no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-j-douglas/we-all-know-what-feminists-are-they-are-shrill-overly-aggressive-man/)

[Susan J. Douglas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-j-douglas/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/susan-j-douglas-23212_aggressive_we-all-know-what-feminists-are-they-are_2845645.jpg)

> [I had an ASU student looking for it in my shop last week, and he defined the Bacchants for me as 'those…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/i-had-an-asu-student-looking-for-it-in-my-shop-last-week-and-he/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ec/kevin-hearne-991_bats_i-had-an-asu-student-looking-for-it-in-m_614444.jpg)

> [When anesthesia was developed, it was for many decades routinely withheld from women giving birth, since women were "supposed" to suffer. One…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-d-kristof/when-anesthesia-was-developed-it-was-for-many-decades-routinely/)

[Nicholas D. Kristof](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-d-kristof/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/917/nicholas-d-kristof-4679_anesthesia_when-anesthesia-was-developed-it-was-for_1428451.png)

> [“And the testicles of the fathers hang down like old lace”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-penn-warren/and-the-testicles-of-the-fathers-hang-down-like-old-lace/)

[Robert Penn Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-penn-warren/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9af/robert-penn-warren-2118_fathers_and-the-testicles-of-the-fathers-hang-do_2272736.jpg)

> [The composition of a tragedy requires testicles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/voltaire/the-composition-of-a-tragedy-requires-testicles/)

[Voltaire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/voltaire/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/voltaire-173_composition_the-composition-of-a-tragedy-requires-te_1931962.png)

> [What in the name of Zeus's testicles?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/what-in-the-name-of-zeus-s-testicles/)

[Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f9b/darynda-jones-474_aphrodite_what-in-the-name-of-zeus-s-testicles-904_904990.png)

> [“She asked me if I knew how many testicles an octopus had.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chance-carter/she-asked-me-if-i-knew-how-many-testicles-an-octopus-had/)

[Chance Carter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chance-carter/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d47/chance-carter-101564_octopus_she-asked-me-if-i-knew-how-many-testicle_3085959.jpg)

> [One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/confucius/one-hundred-women-are-not-worth-a-single-testicle/)

[Confucius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/confucius/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/681/confucius-164_hundred_one-hundred-women-are-not-worth-a-single_1357262.jpg)

> [If its got tires or testicles it's going to give you trouble](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-its-got-tires-or-testicles-it-s-going-to-give-you-trouble/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/967/anonymous-1_giving_if-its-got-tires-or-testicles-it-s-going_1996972.jpg)

## Top authors on Testicles

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-sherrilyn-kenyon-84925.jpg) Sherrilyn Kenyon 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/testicles/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

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                        "text": "Eating any of these things, goat testicles or what have you, isn't going to be nice, but you get into that zone, you become focussed and you do what you need to do. It's all about one thing: coming home in one piece.",
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                        "text": "“I will never marry you. I will never have sex with you voluntarily. And the day you touch me without permission will be the day you swallow your own testicles whole. Do you understand?”",
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                        "text": "You’re such a crybaby. (Tee) Let me almost shoot off one of your testicles and see how you cope. (Joe) You shouldn’t have moved, Joe. It was your fault. (Tee) Yeah, everything’s my fault. (Joe) Good, then we agree. (Tee)",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Nobody fights with Jerry because you know the price would be too high. You might come out the winner, at his age, you might even lick him, but you'd lose an eye, an arm, your testicles in the process, everything would be gone.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I've been sniffing out the guys in my English class (to the extent that this is possible without getting my throat cut), but they smell the same way they always do: like feet and testicles. As opposed to freesias. I don't want to keep sniffing them, Lyd. - Letter from Seb to Lyd.",
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                        "text": "The first thing to say about Eve is that she was a big improvement on the Adam design, or that Adam was an extremely misguided variation on the Eve design. (Consider testicles. Two concentrated nuclei of absolute vulnerability. Where? Dangling between the legs. I rest my case.)",
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                        "text": "Look, I understand that for a lot of people, the US is superior to their country of residence in myriad ways, but I'm Australian. We have it all: the weather, the beautiful cities, the brand of football that involves neither padding yourself up like Santa Claus nor standing in a line in front of goal and covering your testicles.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I gave my father a heart attack. It was a practical joke. Come on, you push a guy's face in a cake he's got to clean it off. You hit a guy with a water balloon, he's got to dry off. Guy's in the hospital, you get his testicles shaved, he scratches and bleeds for a week... it's funny... you're not supposed to have a heart attack, it kills the joke.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I'm sure you know by now, Jesse Jackson was overheard saying, and I'll put this more delicately, that he wanted to cut Barack Obama's testicles off. And Jesse has been on several news programs the last couple of days, explaining what he meant by those comments. Do you need to explain that?",
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                            "caption": "“I'm sure you know by now, Jesse Jackson was overheard saying, and I'll put this more delicately, that he…” — Jay Leno",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about the same fifty percent rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I don't...Same as the four-leaf clover and the horseshoe...same as the voodoo lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing the goat's testicles. It's all the same...so just pick your superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself...",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "George Carlin"
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                            "caption": "“I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are…” — George Carlin",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Are you always this random? (Jericho) Mostly. It really irritates Noir. Which is just an added bonus for me. At least so long as I can outrun him. (Asmodeus) Add me to that list of people you annoy. (Jericho) Oh. You’re not going to singe my testicles over it, are you?! (Asmodeus) No plans to. (Jericho) Good. We can be friends, then. (Asmodeus)",
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                            "caption": "“Are you always this random? (Jericho) Mostly. It really irritates Noir. Which is just an added bonus for me…” — Sherrilyn Kenyon",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "We all know what feminists are. They are shrill, overly aggressive, man-hating, ball-busting, selfish, hairy, extremist, deliberately unattractive women with absolutely no sense of humor who see sexism at every turn. They make men's testicles shrivel up to the size of peas, they detest the family and think all children should be deported or drowned.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I had an ASU student looking for it in my shop last week, and he defined the Bacchants for me as 'those drunk chicks who killed that one dude because he wouldn't have sex with them.' His professors must be so proud. I asked him if he knew what maenads were, and instead of correctly answering that it was just another name for Bacchants, he bizarrely thought I was referring to my own testicles - as in, \"'Ere now, mate, don't swing that bat around me nads.'\" The conversation deteriorated quickly after that.",
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                        "text": "When anesthesia was developed, it was for many decades routinely withheld from women giving birth, since women were \"supposed\" to suffer. One of the few societies to take a contrary view was the Huichol tribe in Mexico. The Huichol believed that the pain of childbirth should be shared, so the mother would hold on to a string tied to her husband's testicles. With each painful contraction, she would give the string a yank so that the man could share the burden. Surely if such a mechanism were more widespread, injuries in childbirth would garner more attention.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“And the testicles of the fathers hang down like old lace”",
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