--- title: "1 Terrible Husband Quotes By Daniel Handler" description: "1 Terrible Husband quotes by Daniel Handler. Plus more from Daniel Handler and more Terrible Husband sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc7/daniel-handler-1043_bastard_the-window-rattles-without-you-you-basta_2358830.jpg" --- > [“The window rattles without you, you bastard. The trees are the cause, rattling in the wind, you jerk, the wind scraping those leaves and twigs against my window. They'll keep doing this, you terrible husband, and slowly wear away our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/the-window-rattles-without-you-you-bastard-the-trees-are-the-cause/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc7/daniel-handler-1043_bastard_the-window-rattles-without-you-you-basta_2358830.jpg) ## More by Daniel Handler > [We laughed the rest of the way, because the point of this story is, it is not the cookies. It is the love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/we-laughed-the-rest-of-the-way-because-the-point-of-this-story-is-it/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [I started making plans, thinking we would get that far.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/i-started-making-plans-thinking-we-would-get-that-far/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [I can't imagine why you would want to take your child to see what the career of a writer is like, because it mostly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/i-can-t-imagine-why-you-would-want-to-take-your-child-to-see-what-the/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [“All the deaths are dead for nothing but you're not dead at all.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/all-the-deaths-are-dead-for-nothing-but-you-re-not-dead-at-all/) [daniel handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [“I love you so soundly and I will do anything to drag you forward.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/i-love-you-so-soundly-and-i-will-do-anything-to-drag-you-forward/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [I’d ruin any day, all my days, for those long nights with you, and I did.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/i-d-ruin-any-day-all-my-days-for-those-long-nights-with-you-and-i-did/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/chestnuts-in-stuffing-tastes-like-someone-chewed-up-a-tree-branch-and/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [Lemony Snicket. Now, I'm told - the books, of course, starting from the very first one, became hugely popular, selling millions and millions. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/lemony-snicket-now-i-m-told-the-books-of-course-starting-from-the/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [“The matches were a little 'he loves me, he loves me not,' but then I saw right on the box that I had twenty-four,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/the-matches-were-a-little-he-loves-me-he-loves-me-not-but-then-i-saw/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [I didn't like books where people played on a sports team and won a bunch of games, or went to summer camp and had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/i-didn-t-like-books-where-people-played-on-a-sports-team-and-won-a/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/i-love-no-one-but-you-i-have-discovered-but-you-are-far-away-and-i-am/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [The Basic Eight and Watch Your Mouth both have first-person voices, and I ended up investigating those voices and investing so much in them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/the-basic-eight-and-watch-your-mouth-both-have-first-person-voices/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [The Long Goodbye' is one book I like to read over and over again, and it was an enormous inspiration for 'All The Wrong…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/the-long-goodbye-is-one-book-i-like-to-read-over-and-over-again-and/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [The whole thing of what I’ve been trying,” you said, “is that you’re different, and you keep asking about the other girls, but what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/the-whole-thing-of-what-i-ve-been-trying-you-said-is-that-you-re/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) > [ I wrote a comedy, which hopefully \[Rick director\] Curtiss Clayton will bring to the screen, that I thought was the antithesis of all my… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/i-wrote-a-comedy-which-hopefully-rick-director-curtiss-clayton-will/) [Daniel Handler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-handler/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/terrible-husband/daniel-handler/#itemlist", "name": "1 Terrible Husband Quotes By Daniel Handler", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The window rattles without you, you bastard. The trees are the cause, rattling in the wind, you jerk, the wind scraping those leaves and twigs against my window. They'll keep doing this, you terrible husband, and slowly wear away our entire apartment building. I know all these facts about you and there is no longer any use for them. What will I do with your license plate number, and where you hid the key outside so we'd never get locked out of this shaky building? What good does it do me, your pants size and the blue cheese preference for dressing? Who opens the door in the morning now, and takes the newspaper out of the plastic bag when it rains? I'll never get back all the hours I was nice to your parents. I nudge my cherry tomatoes to the side of the plate, bastard, but no one is waiting there with a fork to eat them. I miss you and I love you, bastard bastard bastard, come and clean the onion skins out of the crisper and trim back the tree so I can sleep at night.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Daniel Handler" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-handler/the-window-rattles-without-you-you-bastard-the-trees-are-the-cause/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc7/daniel-handler-1043_bastard_the-window-rattles-without-you-you-basta_2358830.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc7/daniel-handler-1043_bastard_the-window-rattles-without-you-you-basta_2358830.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc7/daniel-handler-1043_bastard_the-window-rattles-without-you-you-basta_2358830.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The window rattles without you, you bastard. 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