---
title: "2 Teakettle Quotes By Jonathan Safran Foer"
description: "2 Teakettle quotes by Jonathan Safran Foer. Plus more from Jonathan Safran Foer and more Teakettle sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf3/jonathan-safran-foer-136_teakettle_what-about-the-teakettle-what-if-the-spo_1301823.png"
---

> [“What about the teakettle? What if the spout opened and closed when the steam came out, so it would become a mouth, and it could whistle pretty melodies, or do Shakespeare, or just crack up with me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/what-about-the-teakettle-what-if-the-spout-opened-and-closed-when-the/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf3/jonathan-safran-foer-136_teakettle_what-about-the-teakettle-what-if-the-spo_1301823.png)

> [“What about a teakettle? What if the spout opened and closed when the steam came out, so it would become a mouth, and it could whistle pretty melodies, or do Shakespeare, or just crack up with me? I could invent…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/what-about-a-teakettle-what-if-the-spout-opened-and-closed-when-the-2/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/jonathan-safran-foer-136_finish-line_what-about-a-teakettle-what-if-the-spout_2004710.png)

## More by Jonathan Safran Foer

> [This brings me back to the image of Kafka standing before a fish in the Berlin aquarium, a fish on which his gaze fell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/this-brings-me-back-to-the-image-of-kafka-standing-before-a-fish-in/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [I try not to remember the life that I didn’t want to lose but lost and have to remember](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/i-try-not-to-remember-the-life-that-i-didn-t-want-to-lose-but-lost/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [“I have an aristocratic smile and like to punch people.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/i-have-an-aristocratic-smile-and-like-to-punch-people/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [He removed several pages of death certificates, which were picked up by another breeze and sent into the trees. Some would fall with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/he-removed-several-pages-of-death-certificates-which-were-picked-up/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [I would have done anything for him. Maybe that was my sickness. We made love in nothing places and turned the lights off. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/i-would-have-done-anything-for-him-maybe-that-was-my-sickness-we-made/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [“One day I wandered away from her and hid. I liked the way it felt to have someone look for me, to hear my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/one-day-i-wandered-away-from-her-and-hid-i-liked-the-way-it-felt-to/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [If nothing matters, there's nothing to save.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/if-nothing-matters-there-s-nothing-to-save/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [“It was one of the best days of my life, a day during which I lived my life and didn't think about it at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/it-was-one-of-the-best-days-of-my-life-a-day-during-which-i-lived-my/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [“The appearance was misleading- human dreams; rubbish heaps abundant yet ephemeral sudden and splendid, only to wilt and perish”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/the-appearance-was-misleading-human-dreams-rubbish-heaps-abundant-yet/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [“the entirety of human society and moral progress represents an explicit transcendence of what’s “natural.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/the-entirety-of-human-society-and-moral-progress-represents-an/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [“Food is not so much a symbol of freedom as the first requirement of freedom. We eat foods that are native to America on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/food-is-not-so-much-a-symbol-of-freedom-as-the-first-requirement-of/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [“Rationally, factory farming is so obviously wrong, in so many ways. In all of my reading and conversations, I’ve yet to find a credible…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/rationally-factory-farming-is-so-obviously-wrong-in-so-many-ways-in/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [Just because you're an atheist, that doesn't mean you wouldn't love for things to have reasons for why they are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/just-because-you-re-an-atheist-that-doesn-t-mean-you-wouldn-t-love/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [Do you think I'm wonderful? she asked him one day as they leaned against the trunk of a petrified maple. No, he said. Why?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/do-you-think-i-m-wonderful-she-asked-him-one-day-as-they-leaned/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [My insides don't match up with my outsides. -Do anyone's inside and outsides match up? -I don't know. I'm only me. -Maybe that's what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/my-insides-don-t-match-up-with-my-outsides-do-anyone-s-inside-and/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "ItemList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/teakettle/jonathan-safran-foer/#itemlist",
            "name": "2 Teakettle Quotes By Jonathan Safran Foer",
            "numberOfItems": 2,
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“What about the teakettle? What if the spout opened and closed when the steam came out, so it would become a mouth, and it could whistle pretty melodies, or do Shakespeare, or just crack up with me.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jonathan Safran Foer"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/what-about-the-teakettle-what-if-the-spout-opened-and-closed-when-the/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf3/jonathan-safran-foer-136_teakettle_what-about-the-teakettle-what-if-the-spo_1301823.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf3/jonathan-safran-foer-136_teakettle_what-about-the-teakettle-what-if-the-spo_1301823.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf3/jonathan-safran-foer-136_teakettle_what-about-the-teakettle-what-if-the-spo_1301823.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“What about the teakettle? What if the spout opened and closed when the steam came out, so it would become a…” — Jonathan Safran Foer",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "item": {
                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“What about a teakettle? What if the spout opened and closed when the steam came out, so it would become a mouth, and it could whistle pretty melodies, or do Shakespeare, or just crack up with me? I could invent a teakettle that reads in Dad’s voice, so I could fall asleep, or maybe a set of kettles that sings the chorus of “Yellow Submarine,” which is a song by the Beatles, who I love, because entomology is one of my raisons d’être, which is a French expression that I know. Another good thing is that I could train my anus to talk when I farted. If I wanted to be extremely hilarious, I’d train it to say, “Wasn’t me!” every time I made an incredibly bad fart. And if I ever made an incredibly bad fart in the Hall of Mirrors, which is in Versailles, which is outside of Paris, which is in France, obviously, my anus would say, “Ce n’étais pas moi!” What about little microphones? What if everyone swallowed them, and they played the sounds of our hearts through little speakers, which could be in the pouches of our overalls? When you skateboard down the street at night you could hear everyone's heartbeat, and they could hear yours, sort of like sonar. One weird thing is, I wonder if everyone's hearts would start to beat at the same time, like how women who live together have their menstrual periods at the same time, which I know about, but don't really want to know about. That would be so weird, except that the place in the hospital where babies are born would sound like a crystal chandelier in a houseboat, because the babies wouldn't have had time to match up their heartbeats yet. And at the finish line at the end of the New York City Marathon it would sound like war.”",
                        "creator": {
                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Jonathan Safran Foer"
                        },
                        "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/what-about-a-teakettle-what-if-the-spout-opened-and-closed-when-the-2/",
                        "image": {
                            "@type": "ImageObject",
                            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/jonathan-safran-foer-136_finish-line_what-about-a-teakettle-what-if-the-spout_2004710.png",
                            "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/jonathan-safran-foer-136_finish-line_what-about-a-teakettle-what-if-the-spout_2004710.png",
                            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/555/jonathan-safran-foer-136_finish-line_what-about-a-teakettle-what-if-the-spout_2004710.png",
                            "width": 1080,
                            "height": 1080,
                            "caption": "“What about a teakettle? What if the spout opened and closed when the steam came out, so it would become a…” — Jonathan Safran Foer",
                            "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                            "creator": {
                                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                            }
                        }
                    }
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "CollectionPage",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/teakettle/jonathan-safran-foer/#webpage",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/teakettle/jonathan-safran-foer/",
            "name": "Teakettle Quotes by Jonathan Safran Foer",
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "mainEntity": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/teakettle/jonathan-safran-foer/#itemlist"
            },
            "primaryImageOfPage": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf3/jonathan-safran-foer-136_teakettle_what-about-the-teakettle-what-if-the-spo_1301823.png"
            },
            "description": "2 Teakettle quotes by Jonathan Safran Foer. Plus more from Jonathan Safran Foer and more Teakettle sayings from other authors.",
            "breadcrumb": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/teakettle/jonathan-safran-foer/#breadcrumb"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/teakettle/jonathan-safran-foer/#breadcrumb",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Topics",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "Teakettle",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/teakettle/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 5,
                    "name": "Jonathan Safran Foer",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/teakettle/jonathan-safran-foer/"
                }
            ]
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
