--- title: "13 Tasers Quotes by 12 authors" description: "Browse 13 Tasers quotes by 12 authors. Discover the best Tasers sayings and thoughts." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e57/ryan-lilly-9302_careful_collaborators-let-down-their-guards-succ_2190350.jpg" --- > [“Collaborators let down their guards. Successful collaborators still carry a taser.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-lilly/collaborators-let-down-their-guards-successful-collaborators-still/) [Ryan Lilly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-lilly/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e57/ryan-lilly-9302_careful_collaborators-let-down-their-guards-succ_2190350.jpg) > [It's a hard thing to hold a civil conversation after recalling that one party has used a Taser on the other, so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maggie-stiefvater/it-s-a-hard-thing-to-hold-a-civil-conversation-after-recalling-that/) [Maggie Stiefvater](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maggie-stiefvater/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e95/maggie-stiefvater-76_communication_it-s-a-hard-thing-to-hold-a-civil-conver_2519992.png) > [Since killing people is illegal, can I have a Taser just for shits and giggles? -Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/since-killing-people-is-illegal-can-i-have-a-taser-just-for-shits-and/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9bc/darynda-jones-474_feet_since-killing-people-is-illegal-can-i-ha_2953417.png) > [Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-lopez/angie-i-ve-seen-my-mom-wrestle-two-cops-to-the-ground-with-a-taser/) [George Lopez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-lopez/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/809/george-lopez-3932_cop_angie-i-ve-seen-my-mom-wrestle-two-cops_405294.jpg) > [I once got hit with a taser at a concert and everyone thought I was dancing. Now I have to do that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thom-yorke/i-once-got-hit-with-a-taser-at-a-concert-and-everyone-thought-i-was/) [Thom Yorke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thom-yorke/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5d/thom-yorke-979_concerts_i-once-got-hit-with-a-taser-at-a-concert_824871.jpg) > [Do y’all have enough stun guns for them? (Madaug) Does a bear defecate rurally? What kind of question is that for someone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/do-y-all-have-enough-stun-guns-for-them-madaug-does-a-bear-defecate/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8c/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_bears_do-y-all-have-enough-stun-guns-for-them_239060.jpg) > [I brought out the most powerful tool I had in my arsenal. "If you resist," I said into Reyes's ear, "I'll be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-brought-out-the-most-powerful-tool-i-had-in-my-arsenal-if-you/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98e/darynda-jones-474_apps_i-brought-out-the-most-powerful-tool-i-h_3137866.jpg) > [You go into this survival instinct mode, when you feel like your life is in jeopardy. I found myself in the bathroom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-roberts/you-go-into-this-survival-instinct-mode-when-you-feel-like-your-life/) [Emma Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-roberts/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e0/emma-roberts-3588_anxiety_you-go-into-this-survival-instinct-mode_1595253.jpg) > [I am the neurological opposite of a psychopath, in that I feel anxious almost all the time. It must be great to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-ronson/i-am-the-neurological-opposite-of-a-psychopath-in-that-i-feel-anxious/) [Jon Ronson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-ronson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/066/jon-ronson-1772_anxious_i-am-the-neurological-opposite-of-a-psyc_1960474.png) > [I'm a professional at what I do. As a police officer you're a professional at what you're supposed to do. You should…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-b-jordan/i-m-a-professional-at-what-i-do-as-a-police-officer-you-re-a/) [Michael B. Jordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-b-jordan/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfa/michael-b-jordan-3540_differences_i-m-a-professional-at-what-i-do-as-a-pol_3018174.jpg) > [So this Zealot comes to my door, all glazed eyes and clean reproductive organs, asking me if I ever think about God.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/so-this-zealot-comes-to-my-door-all-glazed-eyes-and-clean/) [Warren Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/warren-ellis/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4d/warren-ellis-2541_acid_so-this-zealot-comes-to-my-door-all-glaz_732828.jpg) > [Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-attell/things-have-been-invented-because-of-alcohol-like-the-taser-okay-yeah/) [Dave Attell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-attell/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/089/dave-attell-6101_alcohol_things-have-been-invented-because-of-alc_1451352.png) > [Read your work out loud. Don't give me that look. Read your work aloud. Don't argue. Don't fight. It will help. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/read-your-work-out-loud-don-t-give-me-that-look-read-your-work-aloud/) [Chuck Wendig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-wendig/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea4/chuck-wendig-5165_agents_read-your-work-out-loud-don-t-give-me-th_1504052.jpg) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tasers/#itemlist", "name": "Tasers Quotes", "numberOfItems": 13, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Collaborators let down their guards. 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Good luck, Bambi!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "George Lopez" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-lopez/angie-i-ve-seen-my-mom-wrestle-two-cops-to-the-ground-with-a-taser/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/809/george-lopez-3932_cop_angie-i-ve-seen-my-mom-wrestle-two-cops_405294.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/809/george-lopez-3932_cop_angie-i-ve-seen-my-mom-wrestle-two-cops_405294.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/809/george-lopez-3932_cop_angie-i-ve-seen-my-mom-wrestle-two-cops_405294.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your…” — George Lopez", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I once got hit with a taser at a concert and everyone thought I was dancing. Now I have to do that dance, at every show for the rest of my life, or admit that a taser can damage the Thom Yorke", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Thom Yorke" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thom-yorke/i-once-got-hit-with-a-taser-at-a-concert-and-everyone-thought-i-was/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5d/thom-yorke-979_concerts_i-once-got-hit-with-a-taser-at-a-concert_824871.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5d/thom-yorke-979_concerts_i-once-got-hit-with-a-taser-at-a-concert_824871.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a5d/thom-yorke-979_concerts_i-once-got-hit-with-a-taser-at-a-concert_824871.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I once got hit with a taser at a concert and everyone thought I was dancing. Now I have to do that dance, at…” — Thom Yorke", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Do y’all have enough stun guns for them? (Madaug) Does a bear defecate rurally? What kind of question is that for someone who owns the biggest gun store in town? Of course I got plenty. I got enough Tasers to light up New York City AND Boston just for giggles. (Bubba)", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Sherrilyn Kenyon" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/do-y-all-have-enough-stun-guns-for-them-madaug-does-a-bear-defecate/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8c/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_bears_do-y-all-have-enough-stun-guns-for-them_239060.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8c/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_bears_do-y-all-have-enough-stun-guns-for-them_239060.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8c/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_bears_do-y-all-have-enough-stun-guns-for-them_239060.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Do y’all have enough stun guns for them? (Madaug) Does a bear defecate rurally? What kind of question is…” — Sherrilyn Kenyon", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I brought out the most powerful tool I had in my arsenal. \"If you resist,\" I said into Reyes's ear, \"I'll be forced to Taser you.\" He looked at what I had in my hand. \"That's a phone.\" \"I have an app. You'll probably experience nerve damage. Slight memory loss.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Darynda Jones" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/i-brought-out-the-most-powerful-tool-i-had-in-my-arsenal-if-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98e/darynda-jones-474_apps_i-brought-out-the-most-powerful-tool-i-h_3137866.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98e/darynda-jones-474_apps_i-brought-out-the-most-powerful-tool-i-h_3137866.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/98e/darynda-jones-474_apps_i-brought-out-the-most-powerful-tool-i-h_3137866.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I brought out the most powerful tool I had in my arsenal. \"If you resist,\" I said into Reyes's ear, \"I'll be…” — Darynda Jones", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You go into this survival instinct mode, when you feel like your life is in jeopardy. I found myself in the bathroom with my taser, which I have 10 of, my panic button and my cell phone. It was the most terrifying experience I've ever had in my life", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Emma Roberts" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-roberts/you-go-into-this-survival-instinct-mode-when-you-feel-like-your-life/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e0/emma-roberts-3588_anxiety_you-go-into-this-survival-instinct-mode_1595253.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e0/emma-roberts-3588_anxiety_you-go-into-this-survival-instinct-mode_1595253.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e0/emma-roberts-3588_anxiety_you-go-into-this-survival-instinct-mode_1595253.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You go into this survival instinct mode, when you feel like your life is in jeopardy. I found myself in the…” — Emma Roberts", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I am the neurological opposite of a psychopath, in that I feel anxious almost all the time. It must be great to not constantly feel like you’ve got someone living inside your face, shooting you with a mini Taser.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jon Ronson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-ronson/i-am-the-neurological-opposite-of-a-psychopath-in-that-i-feel-anxious/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/066/jon-ronson-1772_anxious_i-am-the-neurological-opposite-of-a-psyc_1960474.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/066/jon-ronson-1772_anxious_i-am-the-neurological-opposite-of-a-psyc_1960474.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/066/jon-ronson-1772_anxious_i-am-the-neurological-opposite-of-a-psyc_1960474.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I am the neurological opposite of a psychopath, in that I feel anxious almost all the time. It must be great…” — Jon Ronson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm a professional at what I do. As a police officer you're a professional at what you're supposed to do. You should know your equipment well. You should know the difference between a taser and a handgun.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Michael B. Jordan" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-b-jordan/i-m-a-professional-at-what-i-do-as-a-police-officer-you-re-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfa/michael-b-jordan-3540_differences_i-m-a-professional-at-what-i-do-as-a-pol_3018174.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfa/michael-b-jordan-3540_differences_i-m-a-professional-at-what-i-do-as-a-pol_3018174.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfa/michael-b-jordan-3540_differences_i-m-a-professional-at-what-i-do-as-a-pol_3018174.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm a professional at what I do. As a police officer you're a professional at what you're supposed to do…” — Michael B. Jordan", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "So this Zealot comes to my door, all glazed eyes and clean reproductive organs, asking me if I ever think about God. So I tell him I killed God. I tracked God down like a rabid dog, hacked off his legs with a hedge trimmer, raped him with a corncob, and boiled off his corpse in an acid bath. So he pulls an alternating-current taser on me and tells me that only the Official Serbian Church of Tesla can save my polyphase intrinsic electric field, known to non-engineers as \"the soul.\" So I hit him. What would you do?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Warren Ellis" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/warren-ellis/so-this-zealot-comes-to-my-door-all-glazed-eyes-and-clean/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4d/warren-ellis-2541_acid_so-this-zealot-comes-to-my-door-all-glaz_732828.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4d/warren-ellis-2541_acid_so-this-zealot-comes-to-my-door-all-glaz_732828.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4d/warren-ellis-2541_acid_so-this-zealot-comes-to-my-door-all-glaz_732828.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“So this Zealot comes to my door, all glazed eyes and clean reproductive organs, asking me if I ever think…” — Warren Ellis", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What has pot given the world? Hackey sack? YEAH! Hilarious ring tones? OH GAH! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It sucks to be a champion at a sport that can't get you laid. It's an unneeded skill like, I dunno, being the best banjo player. Or a squirter.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dave Attell" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-attell/things-have-been-invented-because-of-alcohol-like-the-taser-okay-yeah/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/089/dave-attell-6101_alcohol_things-have-been-invented-because-of-alc_1451352.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/089/dave-attell-6101_alcohol_things-have-been-invented-because-of-alc_1451352.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/089/dave-attell-6101_alcohol_things-have-been-invented-because-of-alc_1451352.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The…” — Dave Attell", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Read your work out loud. Don't give me that look. Read your work aloud. Don't argue. Don't fight. It will help. I promise. I promise. I guarantee it. If you find it didn't help you, lemme know. I will let you Taser me in the face. And by \"me,\" I mean, some other guy who will be my stand-in. Probably some real estate agent or tollbooth attendant.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Chuck Wendig" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-wendig/read-your-work-out-loud-don-t-give-me-that-look-read-your-work-aloud/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea4/chuck-wendig-5165_agents_read-your-work-out-loud-don-t-give-me-th_1504052.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea4/chuck-wendig-5165_agents_read-your-work-out-loud-don-t-give-me-th_1504052.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea4/chuck-wendig-5165_agents_read-your-work-out-loud-don-t-give-me-th_1504052.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Read your work out loud. Don't give me that look. Read your work aloud. Don't argue. Don't fight. It will…” — Chuck Wendig", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tasers/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tasers/", "name": "Tasers Quotes", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tasers/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e57/ryan-lilly-9302_careful_collaborators-let-down-their-guards-succ_2190350.jpg" }, "description": "Browse 13 Tasers quotes by 12 authors. 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