---
title: "32 Tampon Quotes by 25 authors"
description: "Browse 32 Tampon quotes by 25 authors. Discover the best Tampon sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/242/helene-boudreau-81031_humor_i-was-in-no-mood-to-negotiate-with-the-t_2551011.jpg"
---

> [“I was in no mood to negotiate with the Tampon Terrorist.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helene-boudreau/i-was-in-no-mood-to-negotiate-with-the-tampon-terrorist/)

[Helene Boudreau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helene-boudreau/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/242/helene-boudreau-81031_humor_i-was-in-no-mood-to-negotiate-with-the-t_2551011.jpg)

> [It's not rape if you're dressed as a tampon.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/it-s-not-rape-if-you-re-dressed-as-a-tampon/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c3b/nikhil-saluja-26_dressed_it-s-not-rape-if-you-re-dressed-as-a-tam_2583073.jpg)

> [Take a tampon dip it in red gatorade and throw it at people](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annonymous/take-a-tampon-dip-it-in-red-gatorade-and-throw-it-at-people/)

[Annonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49f/annonymous-15351_throw_take-a-tampon-dip-it-in-red-gatorade-and_2420875.jpg)

> [“Wanker had the manners of a used tampon.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-j-shen/wanker-had-the-manners-of-a-used-tampon/)

[L.J. Shen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-j-shen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b21/l-j-shen-1983_wanker_wanker-had-the-manners-of-a-used-tampon_208473.jpg)

> [I hate thin people; 'Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joan-rivers/i-hate-thin-people-oh-does-the-tampon-make-me-look-fat/)

[Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joan-rivers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/016/joan-rivers-669_aging_i-hate-thin-people-oh-does-the-tampon-ma_912483.png)

> [Okay, I'm in the tampon aisle, but I don't see it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-gierach/okay-i-m-in-the-tampon-aisle-but-i-don-t-see-it/)

[John Gierach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-gierach/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/858/john-gierach-18811_aisle_okay-i-m-in-the-tampon-aisle-but-i-don-t_1117601.jpg)

> [You want a tampon for that status?You moody bitch.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kaylee-smicklo/you-want-a-tampon-for-that-status-you-moody-bitch/)

[Kaylee Smicklo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kaylee-smicklo/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3b3/kaylee-smicklo-63410_bitchy_you-want-a-tampon-for-that-status-you-mo_868938.jpg)

> [Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/yo-mama-so-fat-she-uses-a-mattress-for-a-tampon/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f6e/anonymous-1_fat-jokes_yo-mama-so-fat-she-uses-a-mattress-for-a_376528.jpg)

> [“up in a salon that’s meant for men the same way a tampon’s meant for men.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-thacker/up-in-a-salon-that-s-meant-for-men-the-same-way-a-tampon-s-meant-for/)

[Nick Thacker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-thacker/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d11/nick-thacker-62648_quote_up-in-a-salon-that-s-meant-for-men-the-s_1271268.jpg)

> [If a woman has her tampon behind her ear and can't find her cigarette watch out. She's having a terrible day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/if-a-woman-has-her-tampon-behind-her-ear-and-can-t-find-her-cigarette/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/85d/nikhil-saluja-26_facebook_if-a-woman-has-her-tampon-behind-her-ear_2342693.jpg)

> [Dear tampon commercial, When I'm on my period, I don't wear a WHITE bikini or do a backflip. Sincerely, Real Women.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/dear-tampon-commercial-when-i-m-on-my-period-i-don-t-wear-a-white/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b6/anonymous-1_being-a-woman_dear-tampon-commercial-when-i-m-on-my-pe_673242.jpg)

> [ I almost wish we would've filmed a whole fake tampon commercial around \["I'm With Her"\]. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathleen-hanna/i-almost-wish-we-would-ve-filmed-a-whole-fake-tampon-commercial/)

[Kathleen Hanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathleen-hanna/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4df/kathleen-hanna-1726_fake_i-almost-wish-we-would-ve-filmed-a-whole_1320010.png)

> [Take your f\*\*\*ing tampon out and tell me what you have to say.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rahm-emanuel/take-your-f-ing-tampon-out-and-tell-me-what-you-have-to-say/)

[Rahm Emanuel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rahm-emanuel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b70/rahm-emanuel-4413_crazy_take-your-f-ing-tampon-out-and-tell-me-w_3188211.jpg)

> [Giovanna Plowman, the girl who ate her own tampon, is in a relationship and you are single... Just let that sink in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/giovanna-plowman-the-girl-who-ate-her-own-tampon-is-in-a-relationship/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d73/anonymous-1_sarcasm_giovanna-plowman-the-girl-who-ate-her-ow_3209252.jpg)

> ['I can always relate to tampon commercials'...said no girl ever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-can-always-relate-to-tampon-commercials-said-no-girl-ever/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5af/anonymous-1_being-a-girl_i-can-always-relate-to-tampon-commercial_450698.jpg)

> [I was born an emotional tampon in a cauldron of dysfunction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/i-was-born-an-emotional-tampon-in-a-cauldron-of-dysfunction/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b69/dana-gould-1290_born_i-was-born-an-emotional-tampon-in-a-caul_2520841.png)

> [“It was a great story and I admired her. And I also felt a little envious. Because that bloody tampon had been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/it-was-a-great-story-and-i-admired-her-and-i-also-felt-a-little/)

[Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c41/augusten-burroughs-603_every-woman_it-was-a-great-story-and-i-admired-her-a_1881894.jpg)

> [“E.L. James. Best damn author of our time, if you ask me. She really nailed it with that tampon scene. Pure enlightenment.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-elle/e-l-james-best-damn-author-of-our-time-if-you-ask-me-she-really/)

[Christina Elle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-elle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ced/christina-elle-69173_books_e-l-james-best-damn-author-of-our-time-i_483605.jpg)

> [..."I can always stuff you back in the bottle and shove a tampon in the top instead of a stopper, and all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-caine/i-can-always-stuff-you-back-in-the-bottle-and-shove-a-tampon-in-the/)

[Rachel Caine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-caine/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a8/rachel-caine-217_bottles_i-can-always-stuff-you-back-in-the-bottl_1846459.jpg)

> [We human girls can be persuaded to do ANYTHING. Just yesterday I said I would never ever wear a tampon, and, well…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanie-wilding/we-human-girls-can-be-persuaded-to-do-anything-just-yesterday-i-said/)

[Jeanie Wilding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanie-wilding/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb4/jeanie-wilding-246852_funny_we-human-girls-can-be-persuaded-to-do-an_985208.jpg)

> [People often ask why comedy is harder for women, and the reason is because a tampon will sometimes fall out when you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jenny-eclair/people-often-ask-why-comedy-is-harder-for-women-and-the-reason-is/)

[Jenny Eclair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jenny-eclair/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8ea/jenny-eclair-12835_blokes_people-often-ask-why-comedy-is-harder-fo_539015.png)

> [“Can we agree to a decent working rapport, here? Because I really don't have time for this, and I can always stuff…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-caine/can-we-agree-to-a-decent-working-rapport-here-because-i-really-don-t/)

[Rachel Caine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-caine/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d9d/rachel-caine-217_decent-work_can-we-agree-to-a-decent-working-rapport_1746922.jpg)

> [Rochelle," she calls out, still looking at me. "Is there anyone down at the desk? I need something." I'm too startled to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patricia-mccormick/rochelle-she-calls-out-still-looking-at-me-is-there-anyone-down-at/)

[Patricia McCormick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patricia-mccormick/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e1/patricia-mccormick-18515_amanda_rochelle-she-calls-out-still-looking-at_1427261.jpg)

> [That's actually pretty tame, but the fact that it was coming from this unexpected adorable little 17-year-old, I thought I'd be getting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lzzy-hale/that-s-actually-pretty-tame-but-the-fact-that-it-was-coming-from-this/)

[Lzzy Hale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lzzy-hale/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/525/lzzy-hale-8594_adorable_that-s-actually-pretty-tame-but-the-fact_1452860.jpg)

> [Is there a reason there's not a tampon dispenser in the West Wing basement?" And it was like, "No." Nobody had really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alyssa-mastromonaco/is-there-a-reason-there-s-not-a-tampon-dispenser-in-the-west-wing/)

[Alyssa Mastromonaco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alyssa-mastromonaco/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef5/alyssa-mastromonaco-17634_ask-questions_is-there-a-reason-there-s-not-a-tampon-d_1335799.jpg)

> [We had a segment called Tampon Tuesdays that I was very proud of; that was hilarious because there are a lot of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larry-wilmore/we-had-a-segment-called-tampon-tuesdays-that-i-was-very-proud-of-that/)

[Larry Wilmore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larry-wilmore/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9bc/larry-wilmore-3223_about_we-had-a-segment-called-tampon-tuesdays_1870681.jpg)

> [ I got hit up for a tampon commercial and so I asked \[JD and Jo\] if they had anything. Jo sent that… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathleen-hanna/i-got-hit-up-for-a-tampon-commercial-and-so-i-asked-jd-and-jo-if-they/)

[Kathleen Hanna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathleen-hanna/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/768/kathleen-hanna-1726_clinton_i-got-hit-up-for-a-tampon-commercial-and_68158.png)

> [“Ouch," he said. "Move your foot." "No." "Go away." "Glad to see you, too." "What are you doing here?" I asked. "You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurie-halse-anderson/ouch-he-said-move-your-foot-no-go-away-glad-to-see-you-too-what-are/)

[Laurie Halse Anderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurie-halse-anderson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/13b/laurie-halse-anderson-623_chicken-soup_ouch-he-said-move-your-foot-no-go-away-g_980029.png)

> [Do you want a tampon with that status? You moody bitch.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/do-you-want-a-tampon-with-that-status-you-moody-bitch/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/562/anonymous-1_attitude_do-you-want-a-tampon-with-that-status-yo_2814853.jpg)

> [“Who lit the fuse on your tampon?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sophie-monroe/who-lit-the-fuse-on-your-tampon/)

[Sophie Monroe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sophie-monroe/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/73d/sophie-monroe-21040_fuse_who-lit-the-fuse-on-your-tampon-505425_505425.jpg)

> [I get more pussy than a tampon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/swaggs/i-get-more-pussy-than-a-tampon/)

[Swaggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/swaggs/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4af/swaggs-53280_pussy_i-get-more-pussy-than-a-tampon-2291386_2291386.jpg)

> [The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-zappa/the-plumber-he-says-never-flush-a-tampon-this-is-great-information/)

[Frank Zappa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-zappa/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/255/frank-zappa-702_cost_the-plumber-he-says-never-flush-a-tampon_1197254.jpg)

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                        "text": "“up in a salon that’s meant for men the same way a tampon’s meant for men.”",
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                        "text": "Giovanna Plowman, the girl who ate her own tampon, is in a relationship and you are single... Just let that sink in.",
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                        "text": "'I can always relate to tampon commercials'...said no girl ever.",
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                        "text": "I was born an emotional tampon in a cauldron of dysfunction.",
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                        "text": "“It was a great story and I admired her. And I also felt a little envious. Because that bloody tampon had been a secret weapon. And every woman had one. But only a woman like Debby would be brave enough to use it.”",
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                        "text": "“E.L. James. Best damn author of our time, if you ask me. She really nailed it with that tampon scene. Pure enlightenment.”",
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                        "text": "...\"I can always stuff you back in the bottle and shove a tampon in the top instead of a stopper, and all the other Djinn will point and laugh-",
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                        "text": "We human girls can be persuaded to do ANYTHING. Just yesterday I said I would never ever wear a tampon, and, well what do you know?! Today I'm wearing one.",
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                        "text": "“Can we agree to a decent working rapport, here? Because I really don't have time for this, and I can always stuff you back in the bottle and shove a tampon in the top instead of a stopper, and all the other Djinn will point and laugh—”",
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                        "text": "Rochelle,\" she calls out, still looking at me. \"Is there anyone down at the desk? I need something.\" I'm too startled to move. Is she going to tell on me, get me in trouble? Rochelle's gotten up; she's banging the toilet stall doors open one by one, checking to make sure no one's in there. When the last stall turns up empty, she gives Amanda an annoyed look. \"What do you need this time of night?\" Amanda smiles at me, then turns to face Rochelle. \"A tampon",
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                        "text": "That's actually pretty tame, but the fact that it was coming from this unexpected adorable little 17-year-old, I thought I'd be getting a letter about her first rock show, but it's nothing like that - she gives me a tampon. It's a true testament to how the majority of our fan base - and I say this in the most respectful and best way I can - they're little freaks.",
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                        "text": "Is there a reason there's not a tampon dispenser in the West Wing basement?\" And it was like, \"No.\" Nobody had really just ever thought about putting it there. It's an important story to tell because, well, it was important to do because we needed them, but I think that it's more, like, you should always ask questions.",
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                        "text": "We had a segment called Tampon Tuesdays that I was very proud of; that was hilarious because there are a lot of women's issues out there that a lot of people don't know about because they're not women, and they don't have to go through them.",
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                        "text": "I got hit up for a tampon commercial and so I asked [JD and Jo] if they had anything. Jo sent that over and I was like, \"I love this track. Oh my god. It's so upbeat. It's so positive. It would be so great for a tampon commercial.\" That commercial never came through, so then I just had it. I was like, \"That would be great for a Hillary [Clinton] song.\" I think it's so funny that it could be a tampon commercial.",
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                        "text": "“Ouch,\" he said. \"Move your foot.\" \"No.\" \"Go away.\" \"Glad to see you, too.\" \"What are you doing here?\" I asked. \"You missed the bus,\" he said. \"I'm sick.\" \"Need chicken soup?\" \"Actually, it's my period,\" I lied. \"Killer cramps.\" \"Chocolate and a heating pad?\" \"How do you know that?\" \"I have an older sister and my mom is a kick-ass feminist,\" he said. \"I'm probably the only guy in school who can buy tampons without having a seizure. Look, at that, I can even say the word. 'Tampon, tampon, tampon.' If you say it enough, it stops sounding like a word, know what I mean?”",
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                        "text": "Do you want a tampon with that status? You moody bitch.",
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                        "text": "The plumber he says, never flush a tampon. This is great information, cost me half a weeks pay.",
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