--- title: "12 Talking Quotes By Terry Pratchett" description: "12 Talking quotes by Terry Pratchett. Plus more from Terry Pratchett and more Talking sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c81/terry-pratchett-19_inspirational_of-course-i-m-sane-when-trees-start-talk_2706743.jpg" --- > [Of course I'm sane, when trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/of-course-i-m-sane-when-trees-start-talking-to-me-i-don-t-talk-back/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c81/terry-pratchett-19_inspirational_of-course-i-m-sane-when-trees-start-talk_2706743.jpg) > [“Sometimes thinking is like talking to another person, but that person is also you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/sometimes-thinking-is-like-talking-to-another-person-but-that-person/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdb/terry-pratchett-19_conversation_sometimes-thinking-is-like-talking-to-an_2664589.jpg) > [I can't be talking to a tree. If I was talking to a tree I'd be mad, and I'm not mad, so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/i-can-t-be-talking-to-a-tree-if-i-was-talking-to-a-tree-i-d-be-mad/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/204/terry-pratchett-19_courses_i-can-t-be-talking-to-a-tree-if-i-was-ta_338026.jpg) > [The trouble was that he was talking in philosophy but they were listening in gibberish.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-trouble-was-that-he-was-talking-in-philosophy-but-they-were/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5c/terry-pratchett-19_communication_the-trouble-was-that-he-was-talking-in-p_2399667.jpg) > [“This is Lancre we’re talkin’ about. If we was men, we’d be talking about layin’ down our lives for the country. As…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/this-is-lancre-we-re-talkin-about-if-we-was-men-we-d-be-talking-about/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b2/terry-pratchett-19_quote_this-is-lancre-we-re-talkin-about-if-we_2014263.jpg) > [I can no longer type, so I use TalkingPoint and Dragon Dictate. It's a speech-to-text program, and there's an add-on for talking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/i-can-no-longer-type-so-i-use-talkingpoint-and-dragon-dictate-it-s-a/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41d/terry-pratchett-19_add_i-can-no-longer-type-so-i-use-talkingpoi_2605817.jpg) > [It’s quite easy to accidentally overhear people talking downstairs if you hold an upturned glass to the floorboards and accidentally put your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/it-s-quite-easy-to-accidentally-overhear-people-talking-downstairs-if/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3b0/terry-pratchett-19_ears_it-s-quite-easy-to-accidentally-overhear_504723.jpg) > [“Take it from me, whenever you see a bunch of buggers puttering around talking about truth and beauty and the best way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/take-it-from-me-whenever-you-see-a-bunch-of-buggers-puttering-around/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27b/terry-pratchett-19_attacking_take-it-from-me-whenever-you-see-a-bunch_1626300.jpg) > [Little fussy Otto, in his red-lined black opera cloak with pockets for all his gear, his shiny black shoes, his carefully cut…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/little-fussy-otto-in-his-red-lined-black-opera-cloak-with-pockets-for/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bcc/terry-pratchett-19_accents_little-fussy-otto-in-his-red-lined-black_3088664.jpg) > [For the first time in her life Granny wondered whether there might be something important in all these books people were setting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/for-the-first-time-in-her-life-granny-wondered-whether-there-might-be-2/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/797/terry-pratchett-19_accounts_for-the-first-time-in-her-life-granny-wo_3171417.jpg) > [You can't make people happy by law. If you said to a bunch of average people two hundred years ago "Would you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-can-t-make-people-happy-by-law-if-you-said-to-a-bunch-of-average/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/683/terry-pratchett-19_available_you-can-t-make-people-happy-by-law-if-yo_2598366.jpg) > [In my early teens, I read every bound volume of the magazine Punch. Every writer of any distinction in the English language,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/in-my-early-teens-i-read-every-bound-volume-of-the-magazine-punch/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb1/terry-pratchett-19_america_in-my-early-teens-i-read-every-bound-vol_551200.jpg) ## Other authors on Talking ## More by Terry Pratchett > [“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/this-one-s-mental-eccentric-what-s-the-difference-a-bag-of-cash/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/but-i-did-not-return-until-half-past-four-this-morning-and-i/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-universe-contains-any-amount-of-horrible-ways-to-be-woken-up-such/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/someone-broke-from-the-scrum-and-punching-and-kicking-staggered/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/it-s-an-interesting-fact-that-fewer-than-17-of-real-cats-end-their/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [You can't trust folk songs. They always sneak up on you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-can-t-trust-folk-songs-they-always-sneak-up-on-you/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/either-dragons-should-exist-completely-or-fail-to-exist-at-all-he/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/magrat-wondered-what-it-was-like-spending-your-whole-life-doing/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/a-hardback-s-harder-at-christmas-time-because-that-s-a-good-hardback/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/there-were-more-old-people-the-world-was-full-of-them-said-the-wizard/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/hobson-was-big-and-heavyset-but-not-exactly-fat-he-was-probably-what/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“There is a night that never comes to an end… The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/there-is-a-night-that-never-comes-to-an-end-the-clock-of-the-world/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“You'd like Freedom, Truth, and Justice, wouldn't you, Comrade Sergeant?' said Reg encouragingly. 'I'd like a hard-boiled egg,' said Vimes, shaking the match out.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-d-like-freedom-truth-and-justice-wouldn-t-you-comrade-sergeant/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“You are not apprehensive, are you? I can't detect no trace of fear none whatsoever Roomy cranium all possible videos of all possible outcomes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-are-not-apprehensive-are-you-i-can-t-detect-no-trace-of-fear-none/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Imagination, not intelligence, made us human.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/imagination-not-intelligence-made-us-human/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/talking/terry-pratchett/#itemlist", "name": "12 Talking Quotes By Terry Pratchett", "numberOfItems": 12, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Of course I'm sane, when trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/of-course-i-m-sane-when-trees-start-talking-to-me-i-don-t-talk-back/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c81/terry-pratchett-19_inspirational_of-course-i-m-sane-when-trees-start-talk_2706743.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c81/terry-pratchett-19_inspirational_of-course-i-m-sane-when-trees-start-talk_2706743.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c81/terry-pratchett-19_inspirational_of-course-i-m-sane-when-trees-start-talk_2706743.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Of course I'm sane, when trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Sometimes thinking is like talking to another person, but that person is also you.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/sometimes-thinking-is-like-talking-to-another-person-but-that-person/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdb/terry-pratchett-19_conversation_sometimes-thinking-is-like-talking-to-an_2664589.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdb/terry-pratchett-19_conversation_sometimes-thinking-is-like-talking-to-an_2664589.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdb/terry-pratchett-19_conversation_sometimes-thinking-is-like-talking-to-an_2664589.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Sometimes thinking is like talking to another person, but that person is also you.” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I can't be talking to a tree. 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If we was men, we’d be talking about layin’ down our lives for the country. As women, we can talk about laying down.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/this-is-lancre-we-re-talkin-about-if-we-was-men-we-d-be-talking-about/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b2/terry-pratchett-19_quote_this-is-lancre-we-re-talkin-about-if-we_2014263.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b2/terry-pratchett-19_quote_this-is-lancre-we-re-talkin-about-if-we_2014263.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b2/terry-pratchett-19_quote_this-is-lancre-we-re-talkin-about-if-we_2014263.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“This is Lancre we’re talkin’ about. 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It's a speech-to-text program, and there's an add-on for talking which some guys came up with.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/i-can-no-longer-type-so-i-use-talkingpoint-and-dragon-dictate-it-s-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41d/terry-pratchett-19_add_i-can-no-longer-type-so-i-use-talkingpoi_2605817.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41d/terry-pratchett-19_add_i-can-no-longer-type-so-i-use-talkingpoi_2605817.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41d/terry-pratchett-19_add_i-can-no-longer-type-so-i-use-talkingpoi_2605817.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I can no longer type, so I use TalkingPoint and Dragon Dictate. 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He looked funny, a joke, a music-hall vampire. It had never previously occurred to Vimes that, just possibly, the joke was on other people.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/little-fussy-otto-in-his-red-lined-black-opera-cloak-with-pockets-for/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bcc/terry-pratchett-19_accents_little-fussy-otto-in-his-red-lined-black_3088664.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bcc/terry-pratchett-19_accents_little-fussy-otto-in-his-red-lined-black_3088664.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bcc/terry-pratchett-19_accents_little-fussy-otto-in-his-red-lined-black_3088664.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Little fussy Otto, in his red-lined black opera cloak with pockets for all his gear, his shiny black shoes…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "For the first time in her life Granny wondered whether there might be something important in all these books people were setting store by these days, although she was opposed to books on strict moral grounds, since she had heard that many of them were written by dead people and therefore it stood to reason reading them would be as bad as necromancy. Among the many things in the infinitely varied universe with which Granny did not hold was talking to dead people, who by all accounts had enough troubles of their own.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/for-the-first-time-in-her-life-granny-wondered-whether-there-might-be-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/797/terry-pratchett-19_accounts_for-the-first-time-in-her-life-granny-wo_3171417.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/797/terry-pratchett-19_accounts_for-the-first-time-in-her-life-granny-wo_3171417.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/797/terry-pratchett-19_accounts_for-the-first-time-in-her-life-granny-wo_3171417.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“For the first time in her life Granny wondered whether there might be something important in all these books…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You can't make people happy by law. If you said to a bunch of average people two hundred years ago \"Would you be happy in a world where medical care is widely available, houses are clean, the world's music and sights and foods can be brought into your home at small cost, traveling even 100 miles is easy, childbirth is generally not fatal to mother or child, you don't have to die of dental abscesses and you don't have to do what the squire tells you\" they'd think you were talking about the New Jerusalem and say \"yes.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-can-t-make-people-happy-by-law-if-you-said-to-a-bunch-of-average/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/683/terry-pratchett-19_available_you-can-t-make-people-happy-by-law-if-yo_2598366.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/683/terry-pratchett-19_available_you-can-t-make-people-happy-by-law-if-yo_2598366.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/683/terry-pratchett-19_available_you-can-t-make-people-happy-by-law-if-yo_2598366.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You can't make people happy by law. If you said to a bunch of average people two hundred years ago \"Would…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "In my early teens, I read every bound volume of the magazine Punch. Every writer of any distinction in the English language, and I mean including America and England, at some time wrote for Punch. Jerome K. Jerome, who wrote Three Men In A Boat, I loved. I was very impressed when I read a piece by Mark Twain in Punch, and realized that despite the fact that they were on different continents, Jerome K. Jerome and Mark Twain had the same kind of laconic, laid-back, \"The human race is damn stupid, but quite interesting\" attitude. They were almost talking with the same voice.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/in-my-early-teens-i-read-every-bound-volume-of-the-magazine-punch/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb1/terry-pratchett-19_america_in-my-early-teens-i-read-every-bound-vol_551200.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb1/terry-pratchett-19_america_in-my-early-teens-i-read-every-bound-vol_551200.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb1/terry-pratchett-19_america_in-my-early-teens-i-read-every-bound-vol_551200.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In my early teens, I read every bound volume of the magazine Punch. Every writer of any distinction in the…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/talking/terry-pratchett/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/talking/terry-pratchett/", "name": "Talking Quotes by Terry Pratchett", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/talking/terry-pratchett/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c81/terry-pratchett-19_inspirational_of-course-i-m-sane-when-trees-start-talk_2706743.jpg" }, "description": "12 Talking quotes by Terry Pratchett. 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