--- title: "18 Talking Quotes By Bill Maher" description: "18 Talking quotes by Bill Maher. Plus more from Bill Maher and more Talking sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/bill-maher-211_first-time_for-the-first-time-since-1979-we-are-tal_2927029.png" --- > [For the first time since 1979, we are talking to the Islamic Republic of Iran. Obama says talking to him is probably…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/for-the-first-time-since-1979-we-are-talking-to-the-islamic-republic/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/bill-maher-211_first-time_for-the-first-time-since-1979-we-are-tal_2927029.png) > [If you came into the theater believing in the talking snake, it's kind of hard to leave the theater still believing in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/if-you-came-into-the-theater-believing-in-the-talking-snake-it-s-kind/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a7/bill-maher-211_believe_if-you-came-into-the-theater-believing-i_2233579.png) > [Sam Harris made that great analogy. He said, 'If someone was talking into their hair dryer and claiming that they were speaking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/sam-harris-made-that-great-analogy-he-said-if-someone-was-talking/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d0/bill-maher-211_analogies_sam-harris-made-that-great-analogy-he-sa_1328911.png) > [The people who got everything wrong are back on TV talking about the place they got all wrong? Cheney, Bill Kristol, Paul…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/the-people-who-got-everything-wrong-are-back-on-tv-talking-about-the/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/bill-maher-211_bills_the-people-who-got-everything-wrong-are_489901.jpg) > [They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/they-re-talking-about-banning-cigarette-smoking-now-in-any-place-that/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df9/bill-maher-211_banning_they-re-talking-about-banning-cigarette_2675634.png) > [ \[Obamacare\] was going to be the Republicans' big issue, and they're not talking about it because it's working. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/obamacare-was-going-to-be-the-republicans-big-issue-and-they-re-not/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a7/bill-maher-211_bigs_obamacare-was-going-to-be-the-republican_3023516.png) > [We're always on a tightrope. We're trying to put together people who don't make sense to be together, talking about issues that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/we-re-always-on-a-tightrope-we-re-trying-to-put-together-people-who/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec9/bill-maher-211_bases_we-re-always-on-a-tightrope-we-re-trying_3034249.png) > [New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-someone-must-x-ray-my-stomach-to-see-if-the-peeps-i-ate-on/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72e/bill-maher-211_easter_new-rule-someone-must-x-ray-my-stomach-t_88364.png) > [Karl Rove thinks we shouldn’t have Hillary Clinton in the White House because she fell and hit her head a couple years…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/karl-rove-thinks-we-shouldn-t-have-hillary-clinton-in-the-white-house/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f83/bill-maher-211_brain_karl-rove-thinks-we-shouldn-t-have-hilla_1735549.png) > [When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. That's something I value. Fairness, kindness, generosity, tolerance. That's different.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/when-we-talk-about-values-i-think-of-rationality-in-solving-problems-2/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/307/bill-maher-211_church_when-we-talk-about-values-i-think-of-rat_1042837.png) > [The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/the-dalai-lama-visited-the-white-house-and-told-the-president-that-he/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f72/bill-maher-211_consciousness_the-dalai-lama-visited-the-white-house-a_3030403.png) > [I'm more likely to not invite someone back for not talking. If someone talks a lot, I can usually shut them up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-m-more-likely-to-not-invite-someone-back-for-not-talking-if-someone/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d5/bill-maher-211_arguing_i-m-more-likely-to-not-invite-someone-ba_2040425.jpg) > [On the show, I do a very serious thing. And a lot of people have a hard time reconciling that with what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/on-the-show-i-do-a-very-serious-thing-and-a-lot-of-people-have-a-hard/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/bill-maher-211_age_on-the-show-i-do-a-very-serious-thing-an_2678271.jpg) > [Now that they've finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of elitist liberals whose values are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/now-that-they-ve-finished-reading-the-constitution-out-loud-the/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f7/bill-maher-211_believe_now-that-they-ve-finished-reading-the-co_2943614.png) > [I don't think George Bush is a good president by any imagination, but when he said, 'If you're talking to Al-Quaeda, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-don-t-think-george-bush-is-a-good-president-by-any-imagination-but/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/945/bill-maher-211_als_i-don-t-think-george-bush-is-a-good-pres_932969.png) > [Well, the American public always wanted to vote for a guy — and Bush was the perfect guy — who they'd want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/well-the-american-public-always-wanted-to-vote-for-a-guy-and-bush-was/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bea/bill-maher-211_bush_well-the-american-public-always-wanted-t_564830.png) > [You can refer to god and you are really just talking about nature. If you are going to say the universe is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/you-can-refer-to-god-and-you-are-really-just-talking-about-nature-if/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/486/bill-maher-211_gods_you-can-refer-to-god-and-you-are-really_870830.jpg) > [Gordon Gekko was right: greed is good. Because, the potty-trained Republicans have now stepped forward - like the Koch brothers - to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/gordon-gekko-was-right-greed-is-good-because-the-potty-trained/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08b/bill-maher-211_brother_gordon-gekko-was-right-greed-is-good-bec_307376.jpg) ## Other authors on Talking ## More by Bill Maher > [A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/a-lot-of-people-say-they-are-dyslexic-some-have-to-realize-that-they/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-saw-this-anti-drug-commercial-that-showed-a-kid-smoking-pot-in-his/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/to-all-conservative-women-out-there-if-you-are-so-sure-the-embryo/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/curious-people-are-intersting-people-i-wonder-why-that-is/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/you-see-the-difference-is-the-republicans-hatred-of-obama-is-based-on/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [The food is out of this world!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/the-food-is-out-of-this-world/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-there-is-no-devil-so-stop-blaming-your-screw-ups-on-him-last/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/if-we-were-a-dog-and-god-owned-us-the-cops-would-come-and-take-us-away/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-the-white-house-doesn-t-have-to-release-the-dead-bin-laden/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [I think religion is bad and drugs are good.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-think-religion-is-bad-and-drugs-are-good/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-don-t-hate-america-i-love-america-i-want-it-to-be-better-the-only/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-americans-must-realize-what-makes-nfl-football-so-great/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [So many kids are fat drug addicts these days, it's almost as if Rush Limbaugh had puppies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/so-many-kids-are-fat-drug-addicts-these-days-it-s-almost-as-if-rush/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [What we don't know is about Jeb Bush and cocaine. But we do know that he did once had his brother Florida on a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/what-we-don-t-know-is-about-jeb-bush-and-cocaine-but-we-do-know-that/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) > [“I find that the world is changing much, much faster than I can even bitch about it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-find-that-the-world-is-changing-much-much-faster-than-i-can-even/) [Bill Maher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-maher/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/talking/bill-maher/#itemlist", "name": "18 Talking Quotes By Bill Maher", "numberOfItems": 18, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "For the first time since 1979, we are talking to the Islamic Republic of Iran. 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He said, 'If someone was talking into their hair dryer and claiming that they were speaking to God, they would call Bellevue. But, take away the hair dryer, it's just praying.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/sam-harris-made-that-great-analogy-he-said-if-someone-was-talking/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d0/bill-maher-211_analogies_sam-harris-made-that-great-analogy-he-sa_1328911.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d0/bill-maher-211_analogies_sam-harris-made-that-great-analogy-he-sa_1328911.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d0/bill-maher-211_analogies_sam-harris-made-that-great-analogy-he-sa_1328911.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Sam Harris made that great analogy. 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It's like Satan's VIP list for Hell.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/the-people-who-got-everything-wrong-are-back-on-tv-talking-about-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/bill-maher-211_bills_the-people-who-got-everything-wrong-are_489901.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/bill-maher-211_bills_the-people-who-got-everything-wrong-are_489901.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/bill-maher-211_bills_the-people-who-got-everything-wrong-are_489901.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The people who got everything wrong are back on TV talking about the place they got all wrong? Cheney, Bill…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can't even smoke in bed.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/they-re-talking-about-banning-cigarette-smoking-now-in-any-place-that/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df9/bill-maher-211_banning_they-re-talking-about-banning-cigarette_2675634.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df9/bill-maher-211_banning_they-re-talking-about-banning-cigarette_2675634.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df9/bill-maher-211_banning_they-re-talking-about-banning-cigarette_2675634.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“They're talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that's used by ten or more people in a…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "[Obamacare] was going to be the Republicans' big issue, and they're not talking about it because it's working.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/obamacare-was-going-to-be-the-republicans-big-issue-and-they-re-not/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a7/bill-maher-211_bigs_obamacare-was-going-to-be-the-republican_3023516.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a7/bill-maher-211_bigs_obamacare-was-going-to-be-the-republican_3023516.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a7/bill-maher-211_bigs_obamacare-was-going-to-be-the-republican_3023516.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“[Obamacare] was going to be the Republicans' big issue, and they're not talking about it because it's working.” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We're always on a tightrope. We're trying to put together people who don't make sense to be together, talking about issues that are sensitive and controversial. We're mixing dangerous chemicals on a nightly basis.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/we-re-always-on-a-tightrope-we-re-trying-to-put-together-people-who/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec9/bill-maher-211_bases_we-re-always-on-a-tightrope-we-re-trying_3034249.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec9/bill-maher-211_bases_we-re-always-on-a-tightrope-we-re-trying_3034249.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec9/bill-maher-211_bases_we-re-always-on-a-tightrope-we-re-trying_3034249.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We're always on a tightrope. We're trying to put together people who don't make sense to be together…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and completely undigested. And I'm not talking about this past Easter. I'm talking about the last time I celebrated Easter, in 1962.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/new-rule-someone-must-x-ray-my-stomach-to-see-if-the-peeps-i-ate-on/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72e/bill-maher-211_easter_new-rule-someone-must-x-ray-my-stomach-t_88364.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72e/bill-maher-211_easter_new-rule-someone-must-x-ray-my-stomach-t_88364.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72e/bill-maher-211_easter_new-rule-someone-must-x-ray-my-stomach-t_88364.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“New Rule: Someone must x-ray my stomach to see if the Peeps I ate on Easter are still in there, intact and…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Karl Rove thinks we shouldn’t have Hillary Clinton in the White House because she fell and hit her head a couple years ago, spent three days in the hospital, and maybe she has brain damage. You know, I don’t recall the Republicans being this concerned with mental fitness during the years when Reagan was talking to house plants in the White House.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/karl-rove-thinks-we-shouldn-t-have-hillary-clinton-in-the-white-house/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f83/bill-maher-211_brain_karl-rove-thinks-we-shouldn-t-have-hilla_1735549.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f83/bill-maher-211_brain_karl-rove-thinks-we-shouldn-t-have-hilla_1735549.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f83/bill-maher-211_brain_karl-rove-thinks-we-shouldn-t-have-hilla_1735549.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Karl Rove thinks we shouldn’t have Hillary Clinton in the White House because she fell and hit her head a…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. That's something I value. Fairness, kindness, generosity, tolerance. That's different. When they [Conservative right wing Republicans] talk about values, they're talking about things like going to church, voting for Bush, being loyal to Jesus, praying. These are not values.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/when-we-talk-about-values-i-think-of-rationality-in-solving-problems-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/307/bill-maher-211_church_when-we-talk-about-values-i-think-of-rat_1042837.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/307/bill-maher-211_church_when-we-talk-about-values-i-think-of-rat_1042837.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/307/bill-maher-211_church_when-we-talk-about-values-i-think-of-rat_1042837.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. That's something I value. Fairness…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, 'You know what? Let's just grab lunch.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/the-dalai-lama-visited-the-white-house-and-told-the-president-that-he/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f72/bill-maher-211_consciousness_the-dalai-lama-visited-the-white-house-a_3030403.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f72/bill-maher-211_consciousness_the-dalai-lama-visited-the-white-house-a_3030403.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f72/bill-maher-211_consciousness_the-dalai-lama-visited-the-white-house-a_3030403.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I'm more likely to not invite someone back for not talking. If someone talks a lot, I can usually shut them up and control them. But with people who don't talk, if they don't really want to talk, they probably shouldn't be on this show, and that's fine. They're talented people with things to say, but sometimes people say what they have to say through other means than arguing.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-m-more-likely-to-not-invite-someone-back-for-not-talking-if-someone/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d5/bill-maher-211_arguing_i-m-more-likely-to-not-invite-someone-ba_2040425.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d5/bill-maher-211_arguing_i-m-more-likely-to-not-invite-someone-ba_2040425.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d5/bill-maher-211_arguing_i-m-more-likely-to-not-invite-someone-ba_2040425.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm more likely to not invite someone back for not talking. If someone talks a lot, I can usually shut them…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "On the show, I do a very serious thing. And a lot of people have a hard time reconciling that with what I'm going to do after the show. They can't get it into their heads: \"How can he be talking to Madeleine Albright one minute and then somebody half his age…\" They're just jealous. But I never made any bones about it. I am a player. Always have been.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/on-the-show-i-do-a-very-serious-thing-and-a-lot-of-people-have-a-hard/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/bill-maher-211_age_on-the-show-i-do-a-very-serious-thing-an_2678271.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/bill-maher-211_age_on-the-show-i-do-a-very-serious-thing-an_2678271.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e8/bill-maher-211_age_on-the-show-i-do-a-very-serious-thing-an_2678271.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“On the show, I do a very serious thing. And a lot of people have a hard time reconciling that with what I'm…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Now that they've finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of elitist liberals whose values are so antithetical to theirs. I'm talking of course about the Founding Fathers, who the Teabaggers believe are just like them, but aren't. One is a group of exclusively white men who live in a bygone century, have bad teeth, and think of blacks as 3/5 of a person, and the other are the Founding Fathers.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/now-that-they-ve-finished-reading-the-constitution-out-loud-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f7/bill-maher-211_believe_now-that-they-ve-finished-reading-the-co_2943614.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f7/bill-maher-211_believe_now-that-they-ve-finished-reading-the-co_2943614.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f7/bill-maher-211_believe_now-that-they-ve-finished-reading-the-co_2943614.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Now that they've finished reading the Constitution out loud, the Teabaggers must call out that group of…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I don't think George Bush is a good president by any imagination, but when he said, 'If you're talking to Al-Quaeda, we want to know what it's about,' it just proves one thing: If you're president long enough, you will one day say something that is true.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/i-don-t-think-george-bush-is-a-good-president-by-any-imagination-but/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/945/bill-maher-211_als_i-don-t-think-george-bush-is-a-good-pres_932969.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/945/bill-maher-211_als_i-don-t-think-george-bush-is-a-good-pres_932969.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/945/bill-maher-211_als_i-don-t-think-george-bush-is-a-good-pres_932969.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I don't think George Bush is a good president by any imagination, but when he said, 'If you're talking to…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Well, the American public always wanted to vote for a guy — and Bush was the perfect guy — who they'd want to have over for pot-roast. And George Bush is that guy. He does that well. You'd like to have him over for pot-roast. He reminds you of yourself. Okay. Well, now he's been over, he's had the pot-roast. But he's getting drunk and now he's talking about stem cells and Terri Schiavo and gay marriage. And now he's the guest that won't leave.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/well-the-american-public-always-wanted-to-vote-for-a-guy-and-bush-was/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bea/bill-maher-211_bush_well-the-american-public-always-wanted-t_564830.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bea/bill-maher-211_bush_well-the-american-public-always-wanted-t_564830.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bea/bill-maher-211_bush_well-the-american-public-always-wanted-t_564830.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Well, the American public always wanted to vote for a guy — and Bush was the perfect guy — who they'd want…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You can refer to god and you are really just talking about nature. If you are going to say the universe is god, then everything is god, everything is religion. But when we explore traditional religion we are talking about humanistic gods people pray to, that they think can intervene in our lives, who run sort of a heaven-and-hell operation for the afterworld.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/you-can-refer-to-god-and-you-are-really-just-talking-about-nature-if/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/486/bill-maher-211_gods_you-can-refer-to-god-and-you-are-really_870830.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/486/bill-maher-211_gods_you-can-refer-to-god-and-you-are-really_870830.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/486/bill-maher-211_gods_you-can-refer-to-god-and-you-are-really_870830.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You can refer to god and you are really just talking about nature. If you are going to say the universe is…” — Bill Maher", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 18, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Gordon Gekko was right: greed is good. Because, the potty-trained Republicans have now stepped forward - like the Koch brothers - to say, 'You know what? You yokels stop talking about defaulting on the debt, because I'm going to lose a fortune!'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Bill Maher" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-maher/gordon-gekko-was-right-greed-is-good-because-the-potty-trained/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08b/bill-maher-211_brother_gordon-gekko-was-right-greed-is-good-bec_307376.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08b/bill-maher-211_brother_gordon-gekko-was-right-greed-is-good-bec_307376.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08b/bill-maher-211_brother_gordon-gekko-was-right-greed-is-good-bec_307376.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Gordon Gekko was right: greed is good. 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