--- title: "24 Stupid Quotes By Terry Pratchett" description: "24 Stupid quotes by Terry Pratchett. Plus more from Terry Pratchett and more Stupid sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/terry-pratchett-19_may_i-may-be-daft-but-i-m-no-stupid-1731584_1731584.jpg" --- > [I may be daft but I'm no' stupid!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/i-may-be-daft-but-i-m-no-stupid/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/terry-pratchett-19_may_i-may-be-daft-but-i-m-no-stupid-1731584_1731584.jpg) > [I used to think that I was stupid, and then I met philosophers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/i-used-to-think-that-i-was-stupid-and-then-i-met-philosophers/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/411/terry-pratchett-19_i-was-stupid_i-used-to-think-that-i-was-stupid-and-th_1746793.jpg) > [“Things were simpler then. And also very, very stupid.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/things-were-simpler-then-and-also-very-very-stupid/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fae/terry-pratchett-19_simpler_things-were-simpler-then-and-also-very-v_2419968.jpg) > [The enemy isn’t men, or women, it’s bloody stupid people and no-one has the right to be stupid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-enemy-isn-t-men-or-women-it-s-bloody-stupid-people-and-no-one-has/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb1/terry-pratchett-19_bloody_the-enemy-isn-t-men-or-women-it-s-bloody_1513044.jpg) > [Stupid men are often capable of things the clever would not dare to contemplate...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/stupid-men-are-often-capable-of-things-the-clever-would-not-dare-to/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f5b/terry-pratchett-19_capable_stupid-men-are-often-capable-of-things-t_126670.jpg) > [Mere animals couldn’t possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/mere-animals-couldn-t-possibly-manage-to-act-like-this-you-need-to-be/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5e/terry-pratchett-19_animal_mere-animals-couldn-t-possibly-manage-to_3116604.jpg) > [Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/sheep-are-stupid-and-have-to-be-driven-but-goats-are-intelligent-and/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/927/terry-pratchett-19_animal_sheep-are-stupid-and-have-to-be-driven-b_549505.jpg) > [You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree." One of the giants grinned at him. Druellae…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-know-i-never-imagined-there-were-he-dryads-not-even-in-an-oak/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df2/terry-pratchett-19_acorns_you-know-i-never-imagined-there-were-he_2019456.jpg) > [Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was. Where people went wrong was thinking that simple…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/colon-thought-carrot-was-simple-carrot-often-struck-people-as-simple/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/946/terry-pratchett-19_carrots_colon-thought-carrot-was-simple-carrot-o_431618.jpg) > [People were stupid, sometimes. They thought the Library was a dangerous place because of all the magical books, which was true enough,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/people-were-stupid-sometimes-they-thought-the-library-was-a-dangerous/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/163/terry-pratchett-19_book_people-were-stupid-sometimes-they-though_668948.jpg) > [If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/if-complete-and-utter-chaos-was-lightning-then-he-d-be-the-sort-to/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/52a/terry-pratchett-19_chaos_if-complete-and-utter-chaos-was-lightnin_957551.jpg) > [“The enemy wasn't men, or women, or the old, or even the dead. It was just bleedin' stupid people, who came in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-enemy-wasn-t-men-or-women-or-the-old-or-even-the-dead-it-was-just/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b4/terry-pratchett-19_enemy_the-enemy-wasn-t-men-or-women-or-the-old_2664046.jpg) > [The conflict is not between Christianity and Islam or between East and West - instead, it is between stupid people and other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-conflict-is-not-between-christianity-and-islam-or-between-east/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d4/terry-pratchett-19_christianity_the-conflict-is-not-between-christianity_1171923.jpg) > [“We're really good at it, Teppic thought. Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/we-re-really-good-at-it-teppic-thought-mere-animals-couldn-t-possibly/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/927/terry-pratchett-19_animals_we-re-really-good-at-it-teppic-thought-m_2558126.jpg) > [Mort was already aware that love made you feel hot and cold and cruel and weak, but he hadn't realized that it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/mort-was-already-aware-that-love-made-you-feel-hot-and-cold-and-cruel/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/610/terry-pratchett-19_cold_mort-was-already-aware-that-love-made-yo_865033.jpg) > [It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. Not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/it-is-a-popular-fact-that-nine-tenths-of-the-brain-is-not-used-and/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbd/terry-pratchett-19_brain_it-is-a-popular-fact-that-nine-tenths-of_1802700.jpg) > [The merest accident of microgeography had meant that the first man to hear the voice of Om, and who gave Om his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-merest-accident-of-microgeography-had-meant-that-the-first-man-to/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbd/terry-pratchett-19_accidents_the-merest-accident-of-microgeography-ha_1741523.jpg) > [They've got something they do it with, I think it's called a mocracy, and it means everyone in the whole country can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/they-ve-got-something-they-do-it-with-i-think-it-s-called-a-mocracy/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be9/terry-pratchett-19_children_they-ve-got-something-they-do-it-with-i_849445.jpg) > [That's what's so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/that-s-what-s-so-stupid-about-the-whole-magic-thing-you-know-you/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f35/terry-pratchett-19_bedroom_that-s-what-s-so-stupid-about-the-whole_2260193.jpg) > [You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-can-t-build-a-plot-out-of-jokes-you-need-tragic-relief-and-you/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b4/terry-pratchett-19_betrayal_you-can-t-build-a-plot-out-of-jokes-you_764000.jpg) > [Right!" "Right!" "You can get there!" "I can get there!" "You're a natural at counting to two!" "I'm a nat'ral at counting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/right-right-you-can-get-there-i-can-get-there-you-re-a-natural-at/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eef/terry-pratchett-19_counting_right-right-you-can-get-there-i-can-get_2026094.jpg) > [Always face what you fear. Have just enough money, never too much, and some string. Even if it’s not your fault, it’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/always-face-what-you-fear-have-just-enough-money-never-too-much-and/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d0/terry-pratchett-19_being-honest_always-face-what-you-fear-have-just-enou_1151245.jpg) > [But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/but-the-helmet-had-gold-decoration-and-the-bespoke-armorers-had-made/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f23/terry-pratchett-19_armor_but-the-helmet-had-gold-decoration-and-t_1068416.jpg) > [In my early teens, I read every bound volume of the magazine Punch. Every writer of any distinction in the English language,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/in-my-early-teens-i-read-every-bound-volume-of-the-magazine-punch/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb1/terry-pratchett-19_america_in-my-early-teens-i-read-every-bound-vol_551200.jpg) ## Other authors on Stupid ## More by Terry Pratchett > [“This one’s mental.’ ‘Eccentric.’ ‘What’s the difference?’ ‘A bag of cash.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/this-one-s-mental-eccentric-what-s-the-difference-a-bag-of-cash/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“But I did not return until half past four this morning and I distinctly remember stubbing my toe on the stairs. I am as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/but-i-did-not-return-until-half-past-four-this-morning-and-i/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-universe-contains-any-amount-of-horrible-ways-to-be-woken-up-such/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“Someone broke from the scrum and, punching and kicking, staggered towards the Klatchian goal. "Isn't that man your butler?" said Ahmed. "Yes." "One of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/someone-broke-from-the-scrum-and-punching-and-kicking-staggered/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [It's an interesting fact that fewer than 17 % of Real cats end their lives with the same name they started with. Much family…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/it-s-an-interesting-fact-that-fewer-than-17-of-real-cats-end-their/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [You can't trust folk songs. They always sneak up on you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-can-t-trust-folk-songs-they-always-sneak-up-on-you/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Either dragons should exist completely or fail to exist at all, he felt. A dragon only half-existing was worse than the extremes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/either-dragons-should-exist-completely-or-fail-to-exist-at-all-he/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“Magrat wondered what it was like, spending your whole life doing something you didn’t want to do. Like being dead, she considered, only worse,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/magrat-wondered-what-it-was-like-spending-your-whole-life-doing/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [A hardback's harder at Christmas time because that's a good hardback buying time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/a-hardback-s-harder-at-christmas-time-because-that-s-a-good-hardback/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“There were more old people. The world was full of them,' said the wizard. 'Yes, I know. And now it's full of young people.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/there-were-more-old-people-the-world-was-full-of-them-said-the-wizard/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“Hobson was big and heavyset, but not exactly fat; he was probably what you’d get if you shaved a bear.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/hobson-was-big-and-heavyset-but-not-exactly-fat-he-was-probably-what/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“There is a night that never comes to an end… The clock of the world turns under its own shadow. Midnight is a moving…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/there-is-a-night-that-never-comes-to-an-end-the-clock-of-the-world/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“You'd like Freedom, Truth, and Justice, wouldn't you, Comrade Sergeant?' said Reg encouragingly. 'I'd like a hard-boiled egg,' said Vimes, shaking the match out.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-d-like-freedom-truth-and-justice-wouldn-t-you-comrade-sergeant/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [“You are not apprehensive, are you? I can't detect no trace of fear none whatsoever Roomy cranium all possible videos of all possible outcomes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-are-not-apprehensive-are-you-i-can-t-detect-no-trace-of-fear-none/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) > [Imagination, not intelligence, made us human.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/imagination-not-intelligence-made-us-human/) [Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stupid/terry-pratchett/#itemlist", "name": "24 Stupid Quotes By Terry Pratchett", "numberOfItems": 24, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I may be daft but I'm no' stupid!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/i-may-be-daft-but-i-m-no-stupid/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/terry-pratchett-19_may_i-may-be-daft-but-i-m-no-stupid-1731584_1731584.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/terry-pratchett-19_may_i-may-be-daft-but-i-m-no-stupid-1731584_1731584.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/terry-pratchett-19_may_i-may-be-daft-but-i-m-no-stupid-1731584_1731584.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I may be daft but I'm no' stupid!” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I used to think that I was stupid, and then I met philosophers.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/i-used-to-think-that-i-was-stupid-and-then-i-met-philosophers/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/411/terry-pratchett-19_i-was-stupid_i-used-to-think-that-i-was-stupid-and-th_1746793.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/411/terry-pratchett-19_i-was-stupid_i-used-to-think-that-i-was-stupid-and-th_1746793.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/411/terry-pratchett-19_i-was-stupid_i-used-to-think-that-i-was-stupid-and-th_1746793.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I used to think that I was stupid, and then I met philosophers.” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Things were simpler then. 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But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/sheep-are-stupid-and-have-to-be-driven-but-goats-are-intelligent-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/927/terry-pratchett-19_animal_sheep-are-stupid-and-have-to-be-driven-b_549505.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/927/terry-pratchett-19_animal_sheep-are-stupid-and-have-to-be-driven-b_549505.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/927/terry-pratchett-19_animal_sheep-are-stupid-and-have-to-be-driven-b_549505.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree.\" One of the giants grinned at him. Druellae snorted. \"Stupid! Where do you think acorns come from?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-know-i-never-imagined-there-were-he-dryads-not-even-in-an-oak/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df2/terry-pratchett-19_acorns_you-know-i-never-imagined-there-were-he_2019456.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df2/terry-pratchett-19_acorns_you-know-i-never-imagined-there-were-he_2019456.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df2/terry-pratchett-19_acorns_you-know-i-never-imagined-there-were-he_2019456.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You know, I never imagined there were he-dryads. Not even in an oak tree.\" One of the giants grinned at him…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was. Where people went wrong was thinking that simple meant the same thing as stupid.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/colon-thought-carrot-was-simple-carrot-often-struck-people-as-simple/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/946/terry-pratchett-19_carrots_colon-thought-carrot-was-simple-carrot-o_431618.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/946/terry-pratchett-19_carrots_colon-thought-carrot-was-simple-carrot-o_431618.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/946/terry-pratchett-19_carrots_colon-thought-carrot-was-simple-carrot-o_431618.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Colon thought Carrot was simple. Carrot often struck people as simple. And he was. Where people went wrong…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "People were stupid, sometimes. They thought the Library was a dangerous place because of all the magical books, which was true enough, but what made it really one of the most dangerous places there could ever be was the simple fact that it was a library.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/people-were-stupid-sometimes-they-thought-the-library-was-a-dangerous/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/163/terry-pratchett-19_book_people-were-stupid-sometimes-they-though_668948.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/163/terry-pratchett-19_book_people-were-stupid-sometimes-they-though_668948.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/163/terry-pratchett-19_book_people-were-stupid-sometimes-they-though_668948.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“People were stupid, sometimes. 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It was just bleedin' stupid people, who came in all varieties. And no one had the right to be stupid.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-enemy-wasn-t-men-or-women-or-the-old-or-even-the-dead-it-was-just/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b4/terry-pratchett-19_enemy_the-enemy-wasn-t-men-or-women-or-the-old_2664046.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b4/terry-pratchett-19_enemy_the-enemy-wasn-t-men-or-women-or-the-old_2664046.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b4/terry-pratchett-19_enemy_the-enemy-wasn-t-men-or-women-or-the-old_2664046.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The enemy wasn't men, or women, or the old, or even the dead. It was just bleedin' stupid people, who came…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The conflict is not between Christianity and Islam or between East and West - instead, it is between stupid people and other stupid people.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-conflict-is-not-between-christianity-and-islam-or-between-east/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d4/terry-pratchett-19_christianity_the-conflict-is-not-between-christianity_1171923.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d4/terry-pratchett-19_christianity_the-conflict-is-not-between-christianity_1171923.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d4/terry-pratchett-19_christianity_the-conflict-is-not-between-christianity_1171923.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The conflict is not between Christianity and Islam or between East and West - instead, it is between stupid…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“We're really good at it, Teppic thought. Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to be a human being to be really stupid.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/we-re-really-good-at-it-teppic-thought-mere-animals-couldn-t-possibly/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/927/terry-pratchett-19_animals_we-re-really-good-at-it-teppic-thought-m_2558126.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/927/terry-pratchett-19_animals_we-re-really-good-at-it-teppic-thought-m_2558126.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/927/terry-pratchett-19_animals_we-re-really-good-at-it-teppic-thought-m_2558126.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We're really good at it, Teppic thought. Mere animals couldn't possibly manage to act like this. You need to…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Mort was already aware that love made you feel hot and cold and cruel and weak, but he hadn't realized that it could make you stupid.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/mort-was-already-aware-that-love-made-you-feel-hot-and-cold-and-cruel/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/610/terry-pratchett-19_cold_mort-was-already-aware-that-love-made-yo_865033.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/610/terry-pratchett-19_cold_mort-was-already-aware-that-love-made-yo_865033.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/610/terry-pratchett-19_cold_mort-was-already-aware-that-love-made-yo_865033.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Mort was already aware that love made you feel hot and cold and cruel and weak, but he hadn't realized that…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. Not even the most stupid Creator would go to the trouble of making the human head carry around several pounds of unnecessary gray goo if its only real purpose was, for example, to serve as a delicacy for certain remote tribesmen in unexplored valleys.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/it-is-a-popular-fact-that-nine-tenths-of-the-brain-is-not-used-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbd/terry-pratchett-19_brain_it-is-a-popular-fact-that-nine-tenths-of_1802700.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbd/terry-pratchett-19_brain_it-is-a-popular-fact-that-nine-tenths-of_1802700.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbd/terry-pratchett-19_brain_it-is-a-popular-fact-that-nine-tenths-of_1802700.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The merest accident of microgeography had meant that the first man to hear the voice of Om, and who gave Om his view of humans, was a shepherd and not a goatherd. They have quite different ways of looking at the world, and the whole of history might have been different. For sheep are stupid, and have to be driven. But goats are intelligent, and need to be led.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-merest-accident-of-microgeography-had-meant-that-the-first-man-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbd/terry-pratchett-19_accidents_the-merest-accident-of-microgeography-ha_1741523.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbd/terry-pratchett-19_accidents_the-merest-accident-of-microgeography-ha_1741523.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cbd/terry-pratchett-19_accidents_the-merest-accident-of-microgeography-ha_1741523.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The merest accident of microgeography had meant that the first man to hear the voice of Om, and who gave Om…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 18, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "They've got something they do it with, I think it's called a mocracy, and it means everyone in the whole country can say who the new Tyrant is. One man ... one vet. ... Everyone has ... the vet. Except for women, of course. And children. And criminals. And slaves. And stupid people. And people of foreign extraction. And people disapproved of for, er, various reasons. And lots of other people. But everyone apart from them. It's a very enlightened civilization.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/they-ve-got-something-they-do-it-with-i-think-it-s-called-a-mocracy/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be9/terry-pratchett-19_children_they-ve-got-something-they-do-it-with-i_849445.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be9/terry-pratchett-19_children_they-ve-got-something-they-do-it-with-i_849445.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be9/terry-pratchett-19_children_they-ve-got-something-they-do-it-with-i_849445.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“They've got something they do it with, I think it's called a mocracy, and it means everyone in the whole…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 19, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "That's what's so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell that makes nude virgins appear in your bedroom, and then you're so poisoned by quicksilver fumes and half-blind from reading old grimoires that you can't remember what happens next.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/that-s-what-s-so-stupid-about-the-whole-magic-thing-you-know-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f35/terry-pratchett-19_bedroom_that-s-what-s-so-stupid-about-the-whole_2260193.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f35/terry-pratchett-19_bedroom_that-s-what-s-so-stupid-about-the-whole_2260193.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f35/terry-pratchett-19_bedroom_that-s-what-s-so-stupid-about-the-whole_2260193.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“That's what's so stupid about the whole magic thing, you know. You spend twenty years learning the spell…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 20, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a lot of frightened people are running around with edged weaponry, there are deaths. Stupid deaths, usually. I'm not writing 'The A-Team' - if there's a fight going on, people will get hurt. Not letting this happen would be a betrayal.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/you-can-t-build-a-plot-out-of-jokes-you-need-tragic-relief-and-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b4/terry-pratchett-19_betrayal_you-can-t-build-a-plot-out-of-jokes-you_764000.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b4/terry-pratchett-19_betrayal_you-can-t-build-a-plot-out-of-jokes-you_764000.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1b4/terry-pratchett-19_betrayal_you-can-t-build-a-plot-out-of-jokes-you_764000.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You can't build a plot out of jokes. You need tragic relief. And you need to let people know that when a lot…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 21, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Right!\" \"Right!\" \"You can get there!\" \"I can get there!\" \"You're a natural at counting to two!\" \"I'm a nat'ral at counting to two!\" \"If you can count to two, you can count to anything!\" \"If I can count to two, I can count to anything!\" \"And then the world is your mollusc!\" \"My mollusc! What's a mollusc?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/right-right-you-can-get-there-i-can-get-there-you-re-a-natural-at/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eef/terry-pratchett-19_counting_right-right-you-can-get-there-i-can-get_2026094.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eef/terry-pratchett-19_counting_right-right-you-can-get-there-i-can-get_2026094.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eef/terry-pratchett-19_counting_right-right-you-can-get-there-i-can-get_2026094.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Right!\" \"Right!\" \"You can get there!\" \"I can get there!\" \"You're a natural at counting to two!\" \"I'm a…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 22, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Always face what you fear. Have just enough money, never too much, and some string. Even if it’s not your fault, it’s your responsibility. Witches deal with things. Never stand between two mirrors. Never cackle. Do what you must do. Never lie, but you don’t always have to be honest. Never wish. Especially don’t wish upon a star, which is astronomically stupid. 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Even if it’s not your…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 23, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/but-the-helmet-had-gold-decoration-and-the-bespoke-armorers-had-made/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f23/terry-pratchett-19_armor_but-the-helmet-had-gold-decoration-and-t_1068416.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f23/terry-pratchett-19_armor_but-the-helmet-had-gold-decoration-and-t_1068416.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f23/terry-pratchett-19_armor_but-the-helmet-had-gold-decoration-and-t_1068416.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 24, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "In my early teens, I read every bound volume of the magazine Punch. Every writer of any distinction in the English language, and I mean including America and England, at some time wrote for Punch. Jerome K. Jerome, who wrote Three Men In A Boat, I loved. I was very impressed when I read a piece by Mark Twain in Punch, and realized that despite the fact that they were on different continents, Jerome K. Jerome and Mark Twain had the same kind of laconic, laid-back, \"The human race is damn stupid, but quite interesting\" attitude. They were almost talking with the same voice.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Terry Pratchett" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/in-my-early-teens-i-read-every-bound-volume-of-the-magazine-punch/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb1/terry-pratchett-19_america_in-my-early-teens-i-read-every-bound-vol_551200.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb1/terry-pratchett-19_america_in-my-early-teens-i-read-every-bound-vol_551200.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb1/terry-pratchett-19_america_in-my-early-teens-i-read-every-bound-vol_551200.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In my early teens, I read every bound volume of the magazine Punch. Every writer of any distinction in the…” — Terry Pratchett", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stupid/terry-pratchett/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stupid/terry-pratchett/", "name": "Stupid Quotes by Terry Pratchett", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stupid/terry-pratchett/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db9/terry-pratchett-19_may_i-may-be-daft-but-i-m-no-stupid-1731584_1731584.jpg" }, "description": "24 Stupid quotes by Terry Pratchett. 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