--- title: "17 Strange Quotes By Mark Twain" description: "17 Strange quotes by Mark Twain. Plus more from Mark Twain and more Strange sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd2/mark-twain-22_he-man_strange-is-the-man-who-practices-his-rel_500119.png" --- > [Strange is the man who practices his religion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/strange-is-the-man-who-practices-his-religion/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd2/mark-twain-22_he-man_strange-is-the-man-who-practices-his-rel_500119.png) > [All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/all-say-how-hard-it-is-that-we-have-to-die-a-strange-complaint-to/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd8/mark-twain-22_complaints_all-say-how-hard-it-is-that-we-have-to-d_686995.png) > [It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-strange-the-way-the-ignorant-and-inexperienced-so-often-and-so/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/def/mark-twain-22_failing_it-is-strange-the-way-the-ignorant-and-i_298835.png) > [Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/man-has-imagined-a-heaven-and-has-left-entirely-out-of-it-the-2/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/163/mark-twain-22_delight_man-has-imagined-a-heaven-and-has-left-e_3201227.png) > [We are strange beings, we seem to go free, but we go in chains - chains of training, custom, convention, association, environment…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/we-are-strange-beings-we-seem-to-go-free-but-we-go-in-chains-chains/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fdb/mark-twain-22_association_we-are-strange-beings-we-seem-to-go-free_2191493.png) > [We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can "show off" and astonish…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/we-wish-to-learn-all-the-curious-outlandish-ways-of-all-the-different/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/db3/mark-twain-22_country_we-wish-to-learn-all-the-curious-outland_871892.png) > [All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/all-large-political-doctrines-are-rich-in-difficult-problems-problems/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f9/mark-twain-22_average_all-large-political-doctrines-are-rich-i_1092054.jpg) > [As a boy, I once saw a cart of melons that sorely tempted me. I sneaked up to the cart and stole…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/as-a-boy-i-once-saw-a-cart-of-melons-that-sorely-tempted-me-i-sneaked/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/mark-twain-22_alleys_as-a-boy-i-once-saw-a-cart-of-melons-tha_2413439.png) > [You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/you-know-that-kind-of-quiver-that-trembles-around-through-you-when/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b25/mark-twain-22_alive_you-know-that-kind-of-quiver-that-trembl_2077270.png) > [We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/we-despise-all-reverences-and-all-objects-of-reverence-which-are/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49c/mark-twain-22_despise_we-despise-all-reverences-and-all-object_2009685.png) > [Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/foreigners-cannot-enjoy-our-food-i-suppose-any-more-than-we-can-enjoy/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/507/mark-twain-22_bills_foreigners-cannot-enjoy-our-food-i-suppo_1172322.jpg) > [Strange a God who mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness, then invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none Himself;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/strange-a-god-who-mouths-golden-rules-and-forgiveness-then-invented/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50b/mark-twain-22_anti-god_strange-a-god-who-mouths-golden-rules-an_2900831.jpg) > [Wherefore, I beseech you let the dog and the onions and these people of the strange and godless names work out their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/wherefore-i-beseech-you-let-the-dog-and-the-onions-and-these-people/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f4d/mark-twain-22_causes_wherefore-i-beseech-you-let-the-dog-and_2790587.png) > [“Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago--centuries, ages, eons, ago!--for you have existed, companionless, through all the eternities. Strange, indeed,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/strange-that-you-should-not-have-suspected-years-ago-centuries-ages/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be5/mark-twain-22_dreams_strange-that-you-should-not-have-suspect_533281.png) > [“Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago--centuries, ages, eons, ago!--for you have existed, companionless, through all the eternities. Strange, indeed,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/strange-that-you-should-not-have-suspected-years-ago-centuries-ages-2/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/caf/mark-twain-22_eternal-happiness_strange-that-you-should-not-have-suspect_2963932.png) > [There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose; sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/there-are-no-accidents-all-things-have-a-deep-and-calculated-purpose/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b9/mark-twain-22_accidents_there-are-no-accidents-all-things-have-a_1433059.png) > [There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/there-are-people-who-strictly-deprive-themselves-of-each-and-every/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f30/mark-twain-22_cows_there-are-people-who-strictly-deprive-th_389870.jpg) ## Other authors on Strange ## More by Mark Twain > [Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/sing-like-no-one-s-listening-love-like-you-ve-never-been-hurt-dance/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-you-had-made-the-acquiring-of-ignorance-the-study-of-your-life-you/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-creator-sat-upon-the-throne-thinking-behind-him-stretched-the/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [It's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-s-easy-to-quit-smoking-i-ve-done-it-hundreds-of-times/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [“It is never wrong to do the right thing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-never-wrong-to-do-the-right-thing/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/a-man-accustomed-to-american-food-and-american-domestic-cookery-would/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [There is nothing training can't cannot do. Nothing is above its reach.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/there-is-nothing-training-can-t-cannot-do-nothing-is-above-its-reach/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/i-never-write-metropolis-for-seven-cents-because-i-can-get-the-same/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-higher-animals-get-their-teeth-without-pain-or-inconvenience-man/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/as-far-as-i-can-see-italy-for-fifteen-hundred-years-has-turned-all/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/begin-with-the-determination-to-succeed-and-the-work-is-half-done/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/many-public-school-children-seem-to-know-only-two-dates-1492-and-4th/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/if-we-could-imagine-such-a-man-that-is-a-man-who-could-invent-the-fly/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/you-perceive-now-that-these-things-are-all-impossible-except-in-a/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/lord-save-us-all-from-a-hope-tree-that-has-lost-the-faculty-of/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/strange/mark-twain/#itemlist", "name": "17 Strange Quotes By Mark Twain", "numberOfItems": 17, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Strange is the man who practices his religion.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/strange-is-the-man-who-practices-his-religion/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd2/mark-twain-22_he-man_strange-is-the-man-who-practices-his-rel_500119.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd2/mark-twain-22_he-man_strange-is-the-man-who-practices-his-rel_500119.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd2/mark-twain-22_he-man_strange-is-the-man-who-practices-his-rel_500119.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Strange is the man who practices his religion.” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who have had to live.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/all-say-how-hard-it-is-that-we-have-to-die-a-strange-complaint-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd8/mark-twain-22_complaints_all-say-how-hard-it-is-that-we-have-to-d_686995.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd8/mark-twain-22_complaints_all-say-how-hard-it-is-that-we-have-to-d_686995.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd8/mark-twain-22_complaints_all-say-how-hard-it-is-that-we-have-to-d_686995.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“All say, ‘how hard it is that we have to die’ -- a strange complaint to come from the mouths of those who…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/it-is-strange-the-way-the-ignorant-and-inexperienced-so-often-and-so/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/def/mark-twain-22_failing_it-is-strange-the-way-the-ignorant-and-i_298835.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/def/mark-twain-22_failing_it-is-strange-the-way-the-ignorant-and-i_298835.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/def/mark-twain-22_failing_it-is-strange-the-way-the-ignorant-and-i_298835.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Man has imagined a heaven, and has left entirely out of it the supremest of all his delights...sexual intercourse!...His heaven is like himself: strange, interesting, astonishing, grotesque. 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I sneaked up to the cart and stole a melon. I went into the alley to devour it, but no sooner had I set my teeth into it, than I paused, a strange feeling coming over me. I came to a quick conclusion. Firmly, I walked up to that cart, replaced the melon - and took a ripe one.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/as-a-boy-i-once-saw-a-cart-of-melons-that-sorely-tempted-me-i-sneaked/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/mark-twain-22_alleys_as-a-boy-i-once-saw-a-cart-of-melons-tha_2413439.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/mark-twain-22_alleys_as-a-boy-i-once-saw-a-cart-of-melons-tha_2413439.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/281/mark-twain-22_alleys_as-a-boy-i-once-saw-a-cart-of-melons-tha_2413439.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“As a boy, I once saw a cart of melons that sorely tempted me. I sneaked up to the cart and stole a melon. I…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and enchanting and wonderful that it is just a fearful joy to be alive and look at it; and you know how you gaze, and your lips turn dry and your breath comes short, but you wouldn't be anywhere but there, not for the world.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/you-know-that-kind-of-quiver-that-trembles-around-through-you-when/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b25/mark-twain-22_alive_you-know-that-kind-of-quiver-that-trembl_2077270.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b25/mark-twain-22_alive_you-know-that-kind-of-quiver-that-trembl_2077270.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b25/mark-twain-22_alive_you-know-that-kind-of-quiver-that-trembl_2077270.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You know that kind of quiver that trembles around through you when you are seeing something so strange and…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred things. And yet, with strange inconsistency, we are shocked when other people despise and defile the things which are holy to us.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/we-despise-all-reverences-and-all-objects-of-reverence-which-are/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49c/mark-twain-22_despise_we-despise-all-reverences-and-all-object_2009685.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49c/mark-twain-22_despise_we-despise-all-reverences-and-all-object_2009685.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49c/mark-twain-22_despise_we-despise-all-reverences-and-all-object_2009685.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We despise all reverences and all objects of reverence which are outside the pale of our list of sacred…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for tastes are made, not born. I might glorify my bill of fare until I was tired; but after all, the Scotchman would shake his head and say, 'Where's your haggis?' and the Fijan would sigh and say, 'Where's your missionary?'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/foreigners-cannot-enjoy-our-food-i-suppose-any-more-than-we-can-enjoy/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/507/mark-twain-22_bills_foreigners-cannot-enjoy-our-food-i-suppo_1172322.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/507/mark-twain-22_bills_foreigners-cannot-enjoy-our-food-i-suppo_1172322.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/507/mark-twain-22_bills_foreigners-cannot-enjoy-our-food-i-suppo_1172322.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Foreigners cannot enjoy our food, I suppose, any more than we can enjoy theirs. It is not strange; for…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Strange a God who mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness, then invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none Himself; who frowns upon crimes yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon Himself; and finally with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship Him!", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/strange-a-god-who-mouths-golden-rules-and-forgiveness-then-invented/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50b/mark-twain-22_anti-god_strange-a-god-who-mouths-golden-rules-an_2900831.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50b/mark-twain-22_anti-god_strange-a-god-who-mouths-golden-rules-an_2900831.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/50b/mark-twain-22_anti-god_strange-a-god-who-mouths-golden-rules-an_2900831.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Strange a God who mouths Golden Rules and forgiveness, then invented hell; who mouths morals to other people…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Wherefore, I beseech you let the dog and the onions and these people of the strange and godless names work out their several salvations from their piteous and wonderful difficulties without help of mine, for indeed their trouble is sufficient as it is, whereas an I tried to help I should but damage their cause the more and yet mayhap not live myself to see the desolation wrought.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/wherefore-i-beseech-you-let-the-dog-and-the-onions-and-these-people/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f4d/mark-twain-22_causes_wherefore-i-beseech-you-let-the-dog-and_2790587.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f4d/mark-twain-22_causes_wherefore-i-beseech-you-let-the-dog-and_2790587.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f4d/mark-twain-22_causes_wherefore-i-beseech-you-let-the-dog-and_2790587.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Wherefore, I beseech you let the dog and the onions and these people of the strange and godless names work…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago--centuries, ages, eons, ago!--for you have existed, companionless, through all the eternities. Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane--like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell--mouths mercy and invented hell--mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him!... \"You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly creations of an imagination that is not conscious of its freaks--in a word, that they are a dream, and you the maker of it. The dream-marks are all present; you should have recognized them earlier. \"It is true, that which I have revealed to you; there is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream--a grotesque and foolish dream. Nothing exists but you. And you are but a thought--a vagrant thought, a useless thought, a homeless thought, wandering forlorn among the empty eternities!\" He vanished, and left me appalled; for I knew, and realized, that all he had said was true.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/strange-that-you-should-not-have-suspected-years-ago-centuries-ages/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be5/mark-twain-22_dreams_strange-that-you-should-not-have-suspect_533281.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be5/mark-twain-22_dreams_strange-that-you-should-not-have-suspect_533281.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be5/mark-twain-22_dreams_strange-that-you-should-not-have-suspect_533281.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago--centuries, ages, eons, ago!--for you have existed…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago--centuries, ages, eons, ago!--for you have existed, companionless, through all the eternities. Strange, indeed, that you should not have suspected that your universe and its contents were only dreams, visions, fiction! Strange, because they are so frankly and hysterically insane--like all dreams: a God who could make good children as easily as bad, yet preferred to make bad ones; who could have made every one of them happy, yet never made a single happy one; who made them prize their bitter life, yet stingily cut it short; who gave his angels eternal happiness unearned, yet required his other children to earn it; who gave his angels painless lives, yet cursed his other children with biting miseries and maladies of mind and body; who mouths justice and invented hell--mouths mercy and invented hell--mouths Golden Rules, and forgiveness multiplied by seventy times seven, and invented hell; who mouths morals to other people and has none himself; who frowns upon crimes, yet commits them all; who created man without invitation, then tries to shuffle the responsibility for man's acts upon man, instead of honorably placing it where it belongs, upon himself; and finally, with altogether divine obtuseness, invites this poor, abused slave to worship him!”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/strange-that-you-should-not-have-suspected-years-ago-centuries-ages-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/caf/mark-twain-22_eternal-happiness_strange-that-you-should-not-have-suspect_2963932.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/caf/mark-twain-22_eternal-happiness_strange-that-you-should-not-have-suspect_2963932.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/caf/mark-twain-22_eternal-happiness_strange-that-you-should-not-have-suspect_2963932.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Strange! that you should not have suspected years ago--centuries, ages, eons, ago!--for you have existed…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose; sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/there-are-no-accidents-all-things-have-a-deep-and-calculated-purpose/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b9/mark-twain-22_accidents_there-are-no-accidents-all-things-have-a_1433059.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b9/mark-twain-22_accidents_there-are-no-accidents-all-things-have-a_1433059.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b9/mark-twain-22_accidents_there-are-no-accidents-all-things-have-a_1433059.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose; sometimes the methods employed by…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Mark Twain" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/there-are-people-who-strictly-deprive-themselves-of-each-and-every/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f30/mark-twain-22_cows_there-are-people-who-strictly-deprive-th_389870.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f30/mark-twain-22_cows_there-are-people-who-strictly-deprive-th_389870.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f30/mark-twain-22_cows_there-are-people-who-strictly-deprive-th_389870.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which…” — Mark Twain", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/strange/mark-twain/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/strange/mark-twain/", "name": "Strange Quotes by Mark Twain", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/strange/mark-twain/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd2/mark-twain-22_he-man_strange-is-the-man-who-practices-his-rel_500119.png" }, "description": "17 Strange quotes by Mark Twain. 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