--- title: "13 Steal Quotes By Jarod Kintz" description: "13 Steal quotes by Jarod Kintz. Plus more from Jarod Kintz and more Steal sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca3/jarod-kintz-2_steal_i-want-to-steal-100-years-if-i-get-caugh_2823157.jpg" --- > [“I want to steal 100 years. If I get caught, it’ll be the trial of the century.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-want-to-steal-100-years-if-i-get-caught-it-ll-be-the-trial-of-the/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca3/jarod-kintz-2_steal_i-want-to-steal-100-years-if-i-get-caugh_2823157.jpg) > [“Today you win, and tomorrow I’ll steal your trophy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/today-you-win-and-tomorrow-i-ll-steal-your-trophy/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/072/jarod-kintz-2_steal_today-you-win-and-tomorrow-i-ll-steal-yo_734337.jpg) > [“I got a new car. I just need to put it together. They’re easier to steal piece by piece.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-got-a-new-car-i-just-need-to-put-it-together-they-re-easier-to/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c8/jarod-kintz-2_new-car_i-got-a-new-car-i-just-need-to-put-it-to_1765419.jpg) > [“I don’t believe it’s morally wrong to steal from a thief.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-don-t-believe-it-s-morally-wrong-to-steal-from-a-thief/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/782/jarod-kintz-2_morally_i-don-t-believe-it-s-morally-wrong-to-st_2526593.jpg) > [“Don’t steal because it’s immoral, not because you’re afraid you’ll get caught.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/don-t-steal-because-it-s-immoral-not-because-you-re-afraid-you-ll-get/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/078/jarod-kintz-2_caught_don-t-steal-because-it-s-immoral-not-bec_494677.jpg) > [“Love is the most precious gift you could ever possibly hope to steal. Some women foolishly do not leave their rib cages…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/love-is-the-most-precious-gift-you-could-ever-possibly-hope-to-steal/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b2e/jarod-kintz-2_love_love-is-the-most-precious-gift-you-could_1729597.jpg) > [“I didn’t win a championship, but I did pop some champagne bottles—and a few locks. Why bother training when you can just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-didn-t-win-a-championship-but-i-did-pop-some-champagne-bottles-and/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bff/jarod-kintz-2_fitness_i-didn-t-win-a-championship-but-i-did-po_2816879.jpg) > [“The schizophrenic in the sleeping bag with a live chicken and a can of tomato soup spilling onto the sidewalk had no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-schizophrenic-in-the-sleeping-bag-with-a-live-chicken-and-a-can/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/795/jarod-kintz-2_chicken_the-schizophrenic-in-the-sleeping-bag-wi_29687.jpg) > [“A brick could be used to stall for time when the police are searching your place looking for a missing person. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-stall-for-time-when-the-police-are-searching/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eed/jarod-kintz-2_steal_a-brick-could-be-used-to-stall-for-time_508441.jpg) > [“I steal cracker packets. I hoard them. Once my collection is large enough, I’ll take them to the flea market and try…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-steal-cracker-packets-i-hoard-them-once-my-collection-is-large/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/705/jarod-kintz-2_investing_i-steal-cracker-packets-i-hoard-them-onc_1735018.jpg) > [“I’ll steal bodies, not to be Corporal Corpse, but to have access to a never-ending supply of laughter still left over in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-ll-steal-bodies-not-to-be-corporal-corpse-but-to-have-access-to-a/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d50/jarod-kintz-2_comedy_i-ll-steal-bodies-not-to-be-corporal-cor_2741612.jpg) > [“A great way to steal other people’s stuff is to build a vault and have them voluntarily store their own stuff there.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-great-way-to-steal-other-people-s-stuff-is-to-build-a-vault-and/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d28/jarod-kintz-2_steal_a-great-way-to-steal-other-people-s-stuf_3090334.jpg) > [“Some people put more thought into what kind of car to buy than what kind of mate to marry. I think that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/some-people-put-more-thought-into-what-kind-of-car-to-buy-than-what/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/74e/jarod-kintz-2_bicycle_some-people-put-more-thought-into-what-k_664427.jpg) ## Other authors on Steal ## More by Jarod Kintz > [“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-notice-when-you-re-gone-or-do-i-how-can-i-observe-something-that/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-wouldn-t-love-you-if-you-were-the-last-sodomite-in-gomorrah/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-blanket-could-be-used-to-make-sweet-sweet-music-with-the-love-of/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-slow-down-time-sort-of-like-a-camel-in-a/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/we-have-a-love-so-pure-that-it-makes-snow-seem-yellow-don-t-eat-it/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-hid-mrs-frozenwater-s-body-in-the-ice-cube-trays-in-my-freezer/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/two-similar-words-might-lead-to-two-similar-ideas-they-might-also/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-is-and-isn-t-nothing-itself-is-and-at/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/embossed-letters-represent-the-topography-of-typography/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/there-s-only-one-piece-of-clothing-i-could-eat-fast-and-that-s-a-scarf/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/dora-j-arod-is-to-jarod-ora-as-yes-is-to-yes-yes-is-also-the-correct/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/the-best-part-about-being-kidnapped-is-being-blindfolded-and-getting/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/orafoura-once-told-me-that-if-i-were-a-car-i-d-be-a-ferrari-one-that/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/what-makes-a-good-leader-i-ask-myself-this-every-day-and-then-as-i/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) > [“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-d-like-to-file-a-missing-person-s-report-on-my-clone-it-s-nearly/) [Jarod Kintz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jarod-kintz/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/steal/jarod-kintz/#itemlist", "name": "13 Steal Quotes By Jarod Kintz", "numberOfItems": 13, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I want to steal 100 years. 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I kept telling them, I didn’t steal a person—I kidnapped a mannequin. Is that a crime? \u2028”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/a-brick-could-be-used-to-stall-for-time-when-the-police-are-searching/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eed/jarod-kintz-2_steal_a-brick-could-be-used-to-stall-for-time_508441.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eed/jarod-kintz-2_steal_a-brick-could-be-used-to-stall-for-time_508441.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eed/jarod-kintz-2_steal_a-brick-could-be-used-to-stall-for-time_508441.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“A brick could be used to stall for time when the police are searching your place looking for a missing…” — Jarod Kintz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I steal cracker packets. I hoard them. Once my collection is large enough, I’ll take them to the flea market and try to sell them to discerning lovers.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/i-steal-cracker-packets-i-hoard-them-once-my-collection-is-large/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/705/jarod-kintz-2_investing_i-steal-cracker-packets-i-hoard-them-onc_1735018.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/705/jarod-kintz-2_investing_i-steal-cracker-packets-i-hoard-them-onc_1735018.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/705/jarod-kintz-2_investing_i-steal-cracker-packets-i-hoard-them-onc_1735018.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I steal cracker packets. I hoard them. 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I think that's foolish, because when I'm not duck farming, I'm a bicycle salesman. Well, I actually only have one bicycle to sell, and I stole it, which is what makes it so profitable.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Jarod Kintz" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jarod-kintz/some-people-put-more-thought-into-what-kind-of-car-to-buy-than-what/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/74e/jarod-kintz-2_bicycle_some-people-put-more-thought-into-what-k_664427.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/74e/jarod-kintz-2_bicycle_some-people-put-more-thought-into-what-k_664427.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/74e/jarod-kintz-2_bicycle_some-people-put-more-thought-into-what-k_664427.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Some people put more thought into what kind of car to buy than what kind of mate to marry. 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