--- title: "1 Standup Comedian Quotes By Kristen Schaal" description: "1 Standup Comedian quotes by Kristen Schaal. Plus more from Kristen Schaal and more Standup Comedian sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6c/kristen-schaal-9687_always_i-never-really-saw-myself-as-a-standup-c_1776442.png" --- > [I never really saw myself as a standup comedian. I always just thought of myself as someone who used the eight minutes or 10 minutes she was allotted and had a blast.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/i-never-really-saw-myself-as-a-standup-comedian-i-always-just-thought/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6c/kristen-schaal-9687_always_i-never-really-saw-myself-as-a-standup-c_1776442.png) ## More by Kristen Schaal > [If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/if-you-were-to-send-a-werewolf-to-the-moon-would-he-be-a-werewolf/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [I used to go to open mics in New York when I was starting out, and it was mostly just people who wanted an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/i-used-to-go-to-open-mics-in-new-york-when-i-was-starting-out-and-it/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [I used to carry a rabbit's foot for luck. Then it was a monkey's paw. Now it's a camel's toe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/i-used-to-carry-a-rabbit-s-foot-for-luck-then-it-was-a-monkey-s-paw/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [I definitely had a Paul Rudd crush. He's great.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/i-definitely-had-a-paul-rudd-crush-he-s-great/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [I don't enjoy reality television at all. I have to say that I get it, though. I watch some of it, and I understand…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/i-don-t-enjoy-reality-television-at-all-i-have-to-say-that-i-get-it/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > ['Rock of Love' with Bret Michaels was fun. He's a lovable guy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/rock-of-love-with-bret-michaels-was-fun-he-s-a-lovable-guy/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [I think I've always had a disconnect from what I'm supposed to be like.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/i-think-i-ve-always-had-a-disconnect-from-what-i-m-supposed-to-be-like/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [If I'm having a fancy glass of champagne, I'll always mix it with the champagne of beers. Because I deserve all the champagnes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/if-i-m-having-a-fancy-glass-of-champagne-i-ll-always-mix-it-with-the/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [Guys. If your pants are below your ass you have no right to accuse any lady of dressing slutty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/guys-if-your-pants-are-below-your-ass-you-have-no-right-to-accuse-any/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [The first time I was on TV, on "Flight of the Conchords," someone put up a YouTube clip and said, 'You're too ugly to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/the-first-time-i-was-on-tv-on-flight-of-the-conchords-someone-put-up/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [You go from nobody looking at you to people taking second looks. I remember really loving it - and then feeling so guilty for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/you-go-from-nobody-looking-at-you-to-people-taking-second-looks-i/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [1st Valentine's Day: 200,000 BC men and women congregate on opposite sides of Pangaea, waiting for someone to make the first move.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/1st-valentine-s-day-200-000-bc-men-and-women-congregate-on-opposite/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [I would imagine that Bret would taste like a warm goat cheese, and Jemaine would taste like harvati with dill. Hmm...I'm hungry actually.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/i-would-imagine-that-bret-would-taste-like-a-warm-goat-cheese-and/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [He resisted for a while and there were some legal boundaries, you know, keeping me from being near him or his family, but in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/he-resisted-for-a-while-and-there-were-some-legal-boundaries-you-know/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) > [I probably shouldn't say this about all animals, but at least the farm animals that I've hung out with, and even when I go…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-schaal/i-probably-shouldn-t-say-this-about-all-animals-but-at-least-the-farm/) [Kristen Schaal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-schaal/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/standup-comedian/kristen-schaal/#itemlist", "name": "1 Standup Comedian Quotes By Kristen Schaal", "numberOfItems": 1, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I never really saw myself as a standup comedian. 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