---
title: "1 Standup Comedian Quotes By Elayne Boosler"
description: "1 Standup Comedian quotes by Elayne Boosler. Plus more from Elayne Boosler and more Standup Comedian sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/613/elayne-boosler-6166_adult-life_as-a-standup-comedian-i-ve-worked-almost_1813174.jpg"
---

> [As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/as-a-standup-comedian-i-ve-worked-almost-every-new-year-s-eve-of-my/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/613/elayne-boosler-6166_adult-life_as-a-standup-comedian-i-ve-worked-almost_1813174.jpg)

## More by Elayne Boosler

> [Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/guys-wake-up-at-your-place-and-they-expect-breakfast-they-don-t-eat/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-always-had-a-running-commentary-in-my-head-that-was-extremely-funny/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-have-six-locks-on-my-door-all-in-a-row-when-i-go-out-i-lock-every/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [The thing about breaking up when you get older, you just don't have the steam anymore. "Oh, that's it. I can't start shaving my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/the-thing-about-breaking-up-when-you-get-older-you-just-don-t-have/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [I'd much rather see Richard Pryor or Jackie Mason in a theater than in a club.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-d-much-rather-see-richard-pryor-or-jackie-mason-in-a-theater-than/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/now-that-the-court-has-declared-money-to-be-speech-i-say-we-replace/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/people-are-giving-birth-underwater-now-they-say-it-s-less-traumatic/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [President Reagan is a lot like E.T. He's cute, he's lovable, and he knows nothing about how Americans live.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/president-reagan-is-a-lot-like-e-t-he-s-cute-he-s-lovable-and-he/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/when-women-are-depressed-they-eat-or-go-shopping/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the amount of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-deliver-very-traditionally-and-people-aren-t-threatened-i-think-if/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [There's only one difference between Jews and Catholics. Jews are born with guilt, and Catholics have to go to school to learn it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/there-s-only-one-difference-between-jews-and-catholics-jews-are-born/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [Men put all kinds of expectations on you. They want you to scream 'You're the best' while swearing you've never done this with anyone…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/men-put-all-kinds-of-expectations-on-you-they-want-you-to-scream-you/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [I think when you take off that jacket and they see that ‘I LOVE GRANDMA’ T-shirt, they’re going to rip your heart out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-think-when-you-take-off-that-jacket-and-they-see-that-i-love/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [My breakup with AT&T is final, and I'm done with Skype as the rebound guy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/my-breakup-with-at-t-is-final-and-i-m-done-with-skype-as-the-rebound/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

> [I love my parents and they're wonderful people, but they were strict, and I still look for ways to get even. When I got…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elayne-boosler/i-love-my-parents-and-they-re-wonderful-people-but-they-were-strict/)

[Elayne Boosler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elayne-boosler/)

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