---
title: "34 Stand Ups Quotes by 31 authors"
description: "Browse 34 Stand Ups quotes by 31 authors. Discover the best Stand Ups sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d3/josh-thomas-39754_comedy_i-hate-watching-stand-ups-2860544_2860544.jpg"
---

> [I hate watching stand-ups.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-thomas/i-hate-watching-stand-ups/)

[Josh Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-thomas/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d3/josh-thomas-39754_comedy_i-hate-watching-stand-ups-2860544_2860544.jpg)

> [I've got too much respect for stand-ups to call myself one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-vegas/i-ve-got-too-much-respect-for-stand-ups-to-call-myself-one/)

[Johnny Vegas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-vegas/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41d/johnny-vegas-7488_respect_i-ve-got-too-much-respect-for-stand-ups_1328739.png)

> [I'm not nearly as brave and confident in some of the ways that I think stand-ups are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ari-graynor/i-m-not-nearly-as-brave-and-confident-in-some-of-the-ways-that-i/)

[Ari Graynor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ari-graynor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/462/ari-graynor-3380_brave_i-m-not-nearly-as-brave-and-confident-in_1655054.jpg)

> [I'm always blown away by stand-ups. I'm blown away by people like that who are craftspeople at comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kathryn-hahn/i-m-always-blown-away-by-stand-ups-i-m-blown-away-by-people-like-that/)

[Kathryn Hahn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kathryn-hahn/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/651/kathryn-hahn-9479_always_i-m-always-blown-away-by-stand-ups-i-m-b_3232999.png)

> [I love Brody Stevens. He's one of my favorite stand-ups.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brett-gelman/i-love-brody-stevens-he-s-one-of-my-favorite-stand-ups/)

[Brett Gelman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brett-gelman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/428/brett-gelman-8521_favorite_i-love-brody-stevens-he-s-one-of-my-favo_1274545.jpg)

> [Stand-ups are always good to see on YouTube. There's a guy named Mike Head who lives in Cleveland. He's great. He's an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allison-jones/stand-ups-are-always-good-to-see-on-youtube-there-s-a-guy-named-mike/)

[Allison Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allison-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba9/allison-jones-36641_african-american_stand-ups-are-always-good-to-see-on-yout_1948869.jpg)

> [All the truly great stand-ups say, 'I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patton-oswalt/all-the-truly-great-stand-ups-say-i-go-onstage-and-i-work-on-jokes/)

[Patton Oswalt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patton-oswalt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6b/patton-oswalt-2795_comedy_all-the-truly-great-stand-ups-say-i-go-o_1601626.png)

> [I cannot believe that in all the years that there have been female stand-ups, there has never been a show just for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-flannery/i-cannot-believe-that-in-all-the-years-that-there-have-been-female/)

[Kate Flannery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-flannery/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/93c/kate-flannery-36195_believe_i-cannot-believe-that-in-all-the-years-t_72047.png)

> [I do have a lot of female friends who are stand-ups and also women who are actresses and also happen to have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-flannery/i-do-have-a-lot-of-female-friends-who-are-stand-ups-and-also-women/)

[Kate Flannery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-flannery/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d46/kate-flannery-36195_act_i-do-have-a-lot-of-female-friends-who-ar_2566069.png)

> [As far as stand-ups go, I always loved Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and Sinbad. Basically, I love black comedians because they're the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-devine/as-far-as-stand-ups-go-i-always-loved-richard-pryor-chris-rock-and/)

[Adam DeVine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-devine/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d2a/adam-devine-13045_actually_as-far-as-stand-ups-go-i-always-loved-ri_67573.jpg)

> [The comics I've talked to have varied styles as stand-ups, but the throughline is that it's the most intense thing they've ever…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-raab/the-comics-i-ve-talked-to-have-varied-styles-as-stand-ups-but-the/)

[Scott Raab](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-raab/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a29/scott-raab-19060_comics_the-comics-i-ve-talked-to-have-varied-st_1899005.png)

> [I'm really more prolific than most stand-ups. My act changes. I do fold in new experiences, new observations, whatever you want to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-poundstone/i-m-really-more-prolific-than-most-stand-ups-my-act-changes-i-do-fold/)

[Paula Poundstone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-poundstone/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/06b/paula-poundstone-7706_comedy_i-m-really-more-prolific-than-most-stand_2913898.jpg)

> [I don't know, I find that honestly, the stand-up thing in some ways is a little bit of a cliche to carry…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/i-don-t-know-i-find-that-honestly-the-stand-up-thing-in-some-ways-is/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/040/jim-gaffigan-580_actors_i-don-t-know-i-find-that-honestly-the-st_269752.jpg)

> [You are not any different. You can do anything you want. So many times, I've been asked what I think of women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lilly-singh/you-are-not-any-different-you-can-do-anything-you-want-so-many-times/)

[Lilly Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lilly-singh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a35/lilly-singh-2866_anything_you-are-not-any-different-you-can-do-any_873816.jpg)

> [Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lenny-bruce/part-of-the-kick-of-making-people-laugh-was-doing-something-different/)

[Lenny Bruce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lenny-bruce/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7f7/lenny-bruce-4320_abdominals_part-of-the-kick-of-making-people-laugh_2647292.jpg)

> [I don't know why, but people tend to look at stand-ups and think they can act, which actually isn't the case. But…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherine-tate/i-don-t-know-why-but-people-tend-to-look-at-stand-ups-and-think-they/)

[Catherine Tate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherine-tate/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f37/catherine-tate-17047_act_i-don-t-know-why-but-people-tend-to-look_957288.jpg)

> [I think there is more comedians now than ever, more venues now than ever. There are stand-ups who live in towns where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-rogan/i-think-there-is-more-comedians-now-than-ever-more-venues-now-than/)

[Joe Rogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-rogan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64a/joe-rogan-1952_bars_i-think-there-is-more-comedians-now-than_3211598.jpg)

> [You really come to life on stage but outside - this is a bit of a sad clown cliché - there is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doc-brown/you-really-come-to-life-on-stage-but-outside-this-is-a-bit-of-a-sad/)

[Doc Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doc-brown/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/999/doc-brown-20031_bits_you-really-come-to-life-on-stage-but-out_2633376.jpg)

> [I just like to build. Don't get me wrong: I think stand-up is great, and when someone like Richard Pryor or Steve…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noel-fielding/i-just-like-to-build-don-t-get-me-wrong-i-think-stand-up-is-great-and/)

[Noel Fielding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noel-fielding/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a4f/noel-fielding-2869_better_i-just-like-to-build-don-t-get-me-wrong_1196772.jpg)

> [A lot of improvisers mistakenly assume stand-up is awful, because there are a lot of stand-ups in the world that did not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-braunohler/a-lot-of-improvisers-mistakenly-assume-stand-up-is-awful-because/)

[Kurt Braunohler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-braunohler/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9d0/kurt-braunohler-12250_appeal_a-lot-of-improvisers-mistakenly-assume-s_2263565.jpg)

> [ For me \[in my stand-ups\] I do what is from the heart. I do what I relate to, what I can talk… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-lawrence/for-me-in-my-stand-ups-i-do-what-is-from-the-heart-i-do-what-i-relate/)

[Martin Lawrence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-lawrence/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/743/martin-lawrence-13450_heart_for-me-in-my-stand-ups-i-do-what-is-from_1985744.jpg)

> [I'm grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patton-oswalt/i-m-grateful-that-i-had-that-uphill-battle-for-10-years-of-going/)

[Patton Oswalt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patton-oswalt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f61/patton-oswalt-2795_audience_i-m-grateful-that-i-had-that-uphill-batt_1162226.jpg)

> [Even though I do a more traditional type of being funny on television, I still know a lot of comedians and stand-ups…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/busy-philipps/even-though-i-do-a-more-traditional-type-of-being-funny-on-television/)

[Busy Philipps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/busy-philipps/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/262/busy-philipps-3254_actors_even-though-i-do-a-more-traditional-type_567188.png)

> [I grew up watching stand-ups and thought it was so entertaining and unique - you didn't see that as a job description…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-nealon/i-grew-up-watching-stand-ups-and-thought-it-was-so-entertaining-and/)

[Kevin Nealon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-nealon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d5/kevin-nealon-8834_comedy_i-grew-up-watching-stand-ups-and-thought_1774578.png)

> [My inspiration to do comedy came from many places. Saturday mornings, I would watch Bob Hope and Jerry Lewis movies. I later…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erik-griffin/my-inspiration-to-do-comedy-came-from-many-places-saturday-mornings-i/)

[Erik Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erik-griffin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2b1/erik-griffin-27569_comedy_my-inspiration-to-do-comedy-came-from-ma_3125143.jpg)

> [I have a suspicion that a lot of artists are trying to get a laugh but, unlike stand-ups, they don't get an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-smith/i-have-a-suspicion-that-a-lot-of-artists-are-trying-to-get-a-laugh/)

[Arthur Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-smith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ec6/arthur-smith-11334_art_i-have-a-suspicion-that-a-lot-of-artists_1381702.jpg)

> [Most stand-ups, once they have done it, think of it as their default job. I'm pretty sure Jon Stewart still feels that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-oliver/most-stand-ups-once-they-have-done-it-think-of-it-as-their-default/)

[John Oliver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-oliver/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e1/john-oliver-2975_come_most-stand-ups-once-they-have-done-it-th_2536479.png)

> [I'm not one of those stand ups that's going to write a show about a big subject or try and tell you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-widdicombe/i-m-not-one-of-those-stand-ups-that-s-going-to-write-a-show-about-a/)

[Josh Widdicombe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-widdicombe/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/64b/josh-widdicombe-9326_big_i-m-not-one-of-those-stand-ups-that-s-go_1657034.jpg)

> [I like the fact that Chris Rock is one of the best stand ups ever and still is a really good actor.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dennis-dugan/i-like-the-fact-that-chris-rock-is-one-of-the-best-stand-ups-ever-and/)

[Dennis Dugan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-dugan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f75/dennis-dugan-70348_actor_i-like-the-fact-that-chris-rock-is-one-o_367498.jpg)

> [There's an audience that is paid to laugh at my jokes. I'm playing a character while I'm doing stand-up. Real stand-ups, man,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-brosnahan/there-s-an-audience-that-is-paid-to-laugh-at-my-jokes-i-m-playing-a/)

[Rachel Brosnahan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-brosnahan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f76/rachel-brosnahan-18431_audience_there-s-an-audience-that-is-paid-to-laug_1214250.jpg)

> [What crushed my soul was hanging out with bitter, desperate comics backstage. They're a different breed than the bitter yet eager psyches…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-adsit/what-crushed-my-soul-was-hanging-out-with-bitter-desperate-comics/)

[Scott Adsit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-adsit/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8d/scott-adsit-14920_anger_what-crushed-my-soul-was-hanging-out-wit_942677.jpg)

> [I have a lot of friends who were stand-ups, and they just stopped after a while, because they didn't like that battle,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patton-oswalt/i-have-a-lot-of-friends-who-were-stand-ups-and-they-just-stopped/)

[Patton Oswalt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patton-oswalt/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/patton-oswalt-2795_audience_i-have-a-lot-of-friends-who-were-stand-u_447277.jpg)

> [I've been doing stand-up for a few years, and I have a handful of fans just from stuff I've done, like 'Last…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikki-glaser/i-ve-been-doing-stand-up-for-a-few-years-and-i-have-a-handful-of-fans/)

[Nikki Glaser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikki-glaser/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4fd/nikki-glaser-8243_done_i-ve-been-doing-stand-up-for-a-few-years_1166695.jpg)

> [The thing about stand-ups is you can't really get good unless you're failing in front of a large number of people. That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-steinberg/the-thing-about-stand-ups-is-you-can-t-really-get-good-unless-you-re/)

[David Steinberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-steinberg/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c0/david-steinberg-22189_about_the-thing-about-stand-ups-is-you-can-t-r_3074220.jpg)

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                        "text": "Stand-ups are always good to see on YouTube. There's a guy named Mike Head who lives in Cleveland. He's great. He's an African-American stand-up.",
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                        "text": "All the truly great stand-ups say, 'I go onstage, and I work on jokes. The inspiration will happen while I'm doing my work.' To me, in the end, the surest thing is work.",
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                        "text": "I cannot believe that in all the years that there have been female stand-ups, there has never been a show just for them.",
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                        "text": "As far as stand-ups go, I always loved Richard Pryor, Chris Rock, and Sinbad. Basically, I love black comedians because they're the funniest. I wish I were a black comedian, actually.",
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                        "text": "The comics I've talked to have varied styles as stand-ups, but the throughline is that it's the most intense thing they've ever done.",
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                        "text": "I'm really more prolific than most stand-ups. My act changes. I do fold in new experiences, new observations, whatever you want to call it.",
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                        "text": "I don't know, I find that honestly, the stand-up thing in some ways is a little bit of a cliche to carry around, because people don't consider stand-ups really actors.",
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                        "text": "You are not any different. You can do anything you want. So many times, I've been asked what I think of women stand-ups. If you actually look around, there are so many female comedians starring in the biggest TV shows.",
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                        "text": "Part of the kick of making people laugh was doing something different. We were a rare breed - spotting one of us was like pinning a space alien, or abdominal snowman. There were maybe a hundred stand-ups in the whole country when I was doing it.",
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                        "text": "I don't know why, but people tend to look at stand-ups and think they can act, which actually isn't the case. But never mind. I thought: if that's the area where they're looking, then that's the area where I'll put myself - even as a means to an end. And it was.",
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                        "text": "I think there is more comedians now than ever, more venues now than ever. There are stand-ups who live in towns where they don't have many comedy clubs where they are organizing more comedy nights in bars. I just think this is a fantastic time for stand up.",
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                        "text": "You really come to life on stage but outside - this is a bit of a sad clown cliché - there is that element of loneliness you get from travelling and being on the road. Stand-ups can bring a lot of that to a dramatic role and make it work for them.",
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                        "text": "I just like to build. Don't get me wrong: I think stand-up is great, and when someone like Richard Pryor or Steve Martin does stand-up, there's nothing better in the world. But I don't want to watch a lot of stand-ups for two hours. So I can do 45 minutes of stand-up and then say, 'Can we do something else now?'",
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                        "text": "A lot of improvisers mistakenly assume stand-up is awful, because there are a lot of stand-ups in the world that did not appeal to me. It was so easy to make a blanket statement when I was improvising only: 'Stand-up's terrible.' It's so ignorant and stupid to do that. But it's easy to do that. So that's where I came from.",
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                        "text": "For me [in my stand-ups] I do what is from the heart. I do what I relate to, what I can talk about, things that I can define. I don't try to talk about things just because they might be a popular subject. I talk about things I know about.",
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                        "text": "I'm not one of those stand ups that's going to write a show about a big subject or try and tell you about the death of a parent or something.",
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                        "text": "I like the fact that Chris Rock is one of the best stand ups ever and still is a really good actor. And a great professional and a good friend and a wonderful human being.",
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                        "text": "There's an audience that is paid to laugh at my jokes. I'm playing a character while I'm doing stand-up. Real stand-ups, man, they're playing themselves. I'd be far too terrified.",
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                        "text": "What crushed my soul was hanging out with bitter, desperate comics backstage. They're a different breed than the bitter yet eager psyches in the wings of an improv theatre. Struggling stand-ups have externalized self-loathing into an art form. They're a hunching, quaking, unshaven lot.",
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                        "text": "I've been doing stand-up for a few years, and I have a handful of fans just from stuff I've done, like 'Last Comic Standing.' And as a fan of stand-ups myself ... like, when I first discovered Sarah Silverman, I wanted to know everything about her life.",
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