---
title: "133 Stand Comedy Quotes by 95 authors"
description: "Browse 133 Stand Comedy quotes by 95 authors. Discover the best Stand Comedy sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e32/jeff-ross-7690_humor_charlie-sheen-is-to-stand-up-comedy-to-w_2614156.png"
---

> [Charlie Sheen is to stand up comedy to what Larry Flynt is to standing up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-ross/charlie-sheen-is-to-stand-up-comedy-to-what-larry-flynt-is-to/)

[Jeff Ross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-ross/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e32/jeff-ross-7690_humor_charlie-sheen-is-to-stand-up-comedy-to-w_2614156.png)

> [Wrestling was like stand-up comedy for me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dwayne-johnson/wrestling-was-like-stand-up-comedy-for-me/)

[Dwayne Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dwayne-johnson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/367/dwayne-johnson-1126_comedy_wrestling-was-like-stand-up-comedy-for-m_3206811.jpg)

> [I did stand-up comedy for seventeen years. I need to explore other things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dane-cook/i-did-stand-up-comedy-for-seventeen-years-i-need-to-explore-other/)

[Dane Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dane-cook/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/006/dane-cook-1394_comedy_i-did-stand-up-comedy-for-seventeen-year_2431470.png)

> [Stand-up comedy is not for the faint-hearted or the thin-skinned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dominic-holland/stand-up-comedy-is-not-for-the-faint-hearted-or-the-thin-skinned/)

[Dominic Holland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dominic-holland/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d5/dominic-holland-13056_comedy_stand-up-comedy-is-not-for-the-faint-hea_1535220.jpg)

> [I usually have sex to my stand-up comedy album. Power move.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-ross/i-usually-have-sex-to-my-stand-up-comedy-album-power-move/)

[Jeff Ross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-ross/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e0/jeff-ross-7690_albums_i-usually-have-sex-to-my-stand-up-comedy_1893309.png)

> [My sense of stand up comedy would be so esoteric.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-rudd/my-sense-of-stand-up-comedy-would-be-so-esoteric/)

[Paul Rudd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-rudd/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e4/paul-rudd-3187_comedy_my-sense-of-stand-up-comedy-would-be-so_3072900.jpg)

> [For me, the way I stay consistent is through stand-up comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hart/for-me-the-way-i-stay-consistent-is-through-stand-up-comedy/)

[Kevin Hart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/778/kevin-hart-506_comedy_for-me-the-way-i-stay-consistent-is-thro_168822.jpg)

> ['Stand-Up Planet' was Anthony Bourdain-meets-stand-up comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hasan-minhaj/stand-up-planet-was-anthony-bourdain-meets-stand-up-comedy/)

[Hasan Minhaj](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hasan-minhaj/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d96/hasan-minhaj-3513_comedy_stand-up-planet-was-anthony-bourdain-mee_506261.jpg)

> [I've been performing stand-up comedy for ten years, it's what I love and will always do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-mcintyre/i-ve-been-performing-stand-up-comedy-for-ten-years-it-s-what-i-love/)

[Michael McIntyre](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-mcintyre/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f2a/michael-mcintyre-6813_always_i-ve-been-performing-stand-up-comedy-for_2077636.jpg)

> [When I came to America, it was Dave Chappelle and a lot of comedians on ComicView. That was my first exposure to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-o-yang/when-i-came-to-america-it-was-dave-chappelle-and-a-lot-of-comedians/)

[Jimmy O. Yang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-o-yang/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d97/jimmy-o-yang-8131_america_when-i-came-to-america-it-was-dave-chapp_3159078.jpg)

> [Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-rock/stand-up-comedy-is-like-the-lowest-medium-in-all-of-show-business-in/)

[Chris Rock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-rock/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca6/chris-rock-767_business_stand-up-comedy-is-like-the-lowest-mediu_1237241.jpg)

> [I did stand-up comedy for a long time in San Francisco, and then I was like, 'You know what? I'm going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nico-santos/i-did-stand-up-comedy-for-a-long-time-in-san-francisco-and-then-i-was/)

[Nico Santos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nico-santos/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/404/nico-santos-10028_comedy_i-did-stand-up-comedy-for-a-long-time-in_2884245.jpg)

> [I'm not a fan of stand-up comedy, personally. But some of them are incredibly skilled.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-mortimer/i-m-not-a-fan-of-stand-up-comedy-personally-but-some-of-them-are/)

[Bob Mortimer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-mortimer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25c/bob-mortimer-5592_comedy_i-m-not-a-fan-of-stand-up-comedy-persona_2742776.jpg)

> [While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-allen/while-awaiting-sentencing-i-decided-to-give-stand-up-comedy-a-shot/)

[Tim Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-allen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ac5/tim-allen-4974_comedy_while-awaiting-sentencing-i-decided-to-g_247710.jpg)

> [I feel blessed to be able to do my stand up comedy all over the world, because some people never even leave…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-murphy/i-feel-blessed-to-be-able-to-do-my-stand-up-comedy-all-over-the-world/)

[Charlie Murphy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-murphy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae1/charlie-murphy-6428_blessed_i-feel-blessed-to-be-able-to-do-my-stand_2971315.jpg)

> [At the end of the day, stand-up comedy is like acting when the audience are the other characters that I'm acting with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brett-gelman/at-the-end-of-the-day-stand-up-comedy-is-like-acting-when-the/)

[Brett Gelman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brett-gelman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/074/brett-gelman-8521_acting_at-the-end-of-the-day-stand-up-comedy-is_620967.jpg)

> [In the mid-1970s, there was this huge boom of stand-up comedy throughout North America. I went to see a show at a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howie-mandel/in-the-mid-1970s-there-was-this-huge-boom-of-stand-up-comedy/)

[Howie Mandel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howie-mandel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ce/howie-mandel-9298_amateur_in-the-mid-1970s-there-was-this-huge-boo_1775102.jpg)

> [If you look up the definition of stand-up comedy, it's funny on purpose. A little bit of pressure there. It's basically acting.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-waltrip/if-you-look-up-the-definition-of-stand-up-comedy-it-s-funny-on/)

[Michael Waltrip](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-waltrip/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/091/michael-waltrip-4880_acting_if-you-look-up-the-definition-of-stand-u_357495.jpg)

> [The word 'supportive' has no place in stand-up comedy. I hate when people are like, 'Support female comedy.' That's not a real…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ali-wong/the-word-supportive-has-no-place-in-stand-up-comedy-i-hate-when/)

[Ali Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ali-wong/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb9/ali-wong-7067_hate_the-word-supportive-has-no-place-in-stan_1043372.jpg)

> [Stand-up comedy is a very hard thing on the spirit. There are people who transcend it, like Jack Benny and Steve Martin,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-nichols/stand-up-comedy-is-a-very-hard-thing-on-the-spirit-there-are-people/)

[Mike Nichols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-nichols/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b53/mike-nichols-6630_benny_stand-up-comedy-is-a-very-hard-thing-on_30078.png)

> [When I was nine, we'd take a bus to the seaside. Coming back, we'd take turns entertaining, singing songs and the like.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-dale/when-i-was-nine-we-d-take-a-bus-to-the-seaside-coming-back-we-d-take/)

[Jim Dale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-dale/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c85/jim-dale-31545_audience_when-i-was-nine-we-d-take-a-bus-to-the-s_1250849.png)

> [To perform stand-up comedy in a club, that's the most exciting profession in the world. You're like Spartacus going into battle because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/soupy-sales/to-perform-stand-up-comedy-in-a-club-that-s-the-most-exciting/)

[Soupy Sales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/soupy-sales/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f29/soupy-sales-5310_battle_to-perform-stand-up-comedy-in-a-club-tha_201677.jpg)

> [Getting up in front of the toughest crowds, you know, playing pubs in South Armagh - where people didn't necessarily even know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ardal-o-hanlon/getting-up-in-front-of-the-toughest-crowds-you-know-playing-pubs-in/)

[Ardal O'Hanlon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ardal-o-hanlon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/11f/ardal-o-hanlon-8746_body_getting-up-in-front-of-the-toughest-crow_1925328.jpg)

> [People need to write articles and they need to have angles in them and I'm grateful when people are doing articles, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/people-need-to-write-articles-and-they-need-to-have-angles-in-them/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a3/jim-gaffigan-580_angle_people-need-to-write-articles-and-they-n_2931109.jpg)

> [Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-burr/stand-up-comedy-is-this-thing-you-get-to-do-so-you-have-to-treat-it/)

[Bill Burr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-burr/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe6/bill-burr-1900_alright_stand-up-comedy-is-this-thing-you-get-to_2468033.png)

> [About a year after I moved to Los Angeles, I decided I wanted to be a joke writer for a late night…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/about-a-year-after-i-moved-to-los-angeles-i-decided-i-wanted-to-be-a/)

[Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e0/anthony-jeselnik-1838_ability_about-a-year-after-i-moved-to-los-angele_59710.png)

> [In the stand-up comedy top, there's room for everyone - if you're good, there's room for everyone. You'll put on your own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-jefferies/in-the-stand-up-comedy-top-there-s-room-for-everyone-if-you-re-good/)

[Jim Jefferies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-jefferies/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad4/jim-jefferies-8092_agents_in-the-stand-up-comedy-top-there-s-room_2074539.jpg)

> [I always get a little bit pissed off when stand-up comedy is not recognised as being as good a craft as being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-jefferies/i-always-get-a-little-bit-pissed-off-when-stand-up-comedy-is-not/)

[Jim Jefferies](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-jefferies/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a3f/jim-jefferies-8092_actor_i-always-get-a-little-bit-pissed-off-whe_2596801.jpg)

> [Stand-up can take you in so many different places, man. So many doors can be opened up from stand-up comedy, and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hart/stand-up-can-take-you-in-so-many-different-places-man-so-many-doors/)

[Kevin Hart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hart/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d22/kevin-hart-506_acting_stand-up-can-take-you-in-so-many-differe_821708.jpg)

> [The earliest stand-up comedy I was aware of was Bill Cosby. I watched Saturday Night Live as soon as I was aware…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louis-c-k/the-earliest-stand-up-comedy-i-was-aware-of-was-bill-cosby-i-watched/)

[Louis C. K](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louis-c-k/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/abc/louis-c-k-1150_bills_the-earliest-stand-up-comedy-i-was-aware_637779.png)

> [Now obviously popularity isn't everything when it comes to stand up comedy, but the art form itself is better today than it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-rogan/now-obviously-popularity-isn-t-everything-when-it-comes-to-stand-up/)

[Joe Rogan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-rogan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9fa/joe-rogan-1952_analysis_now-obviously-popularity-isn-t-everythin_323869.jpg)

> [Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-kinison/stand-up-comedy-is-an-art-form-and-it-dies-unless-you-expand-it/)

[Sam Kinison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sam-kinison/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40b/sam-kinison-11470_art_stand-up-comedy-is-an-art-form-and-it-di_19774.jpg)

> [I took a stand-up comedy class because I'd always wanted to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeanie-buss/i-took-a-stand-up-comedy-class-because-i-d-always-wanted-to/)

[Jeanie Buss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeanie-buss/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/834/jeanie-buss-10048_always_i-took-a-stand-up-comedy-class-because-i_399598.jpg)

> [How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dominic-holland/how-i-ve-fed-my-kids-over-the-years-is-by-doing-stand-up-comedy-in/)

[Dominic Holland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dominic-holland/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/94f/dominic-holland-13056_children_how-i-ve-fed-my-kids-over-the-years-is-b_2337667.jpg)

> [The edge of inappropriate is the spiritual home of the best stand-up comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-skinner/the-edge-of-inappropriate-is-the-spiritual-home-of-the-best-stand-up/)

[Frank Skinner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-skinner/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86a/frank-skinner-4400_best_the-edge-of-inappropriate-is-the-spiritu_3101627.png)

> [I think stand-up comedy is this - it's this kind of indulgence and narcissism.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/i-think-stand-up-comedy-is-this-it-s-this-kind-of-indulgence-and/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/644/jim-gaffigan-580_comedy_i-think-stand-up-comedy-is-this-it-s-thi_1333863.jpg)

> [You know, stand-up comedy is where I pretty much started out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brion-james/you-know-stand-up-comedy-is-where-i-pretty-much-started-out/)

[Brion James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brion-james/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/883/brion-james-22844_comedy_you-know-stand-up-comedy-is-where-i-pret_2017630.jpg)

> [As far as stand-up comedy, I got into the business later than most, yeah.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-murphy/as-far-as-stand-up-comedy-i-got-into-the-business-later-than-most-yeah/)

[Charlie Murphy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-murphy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bf3/charlie-murphy-6428_business_as-far-as-stand-up-comedy-i-got-into-the_638273.jpg)

> [Stand-up comedy and poverty. Those were my two main endeavors.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-foley/stand-up-comedy-and-poverty-those-were-my-two-main-endeavors/)

[Dave Foley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-foley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d67/dave-foley-21975_comedy_stand-up-comedy-and-poverty-those-were-m_2354177.png)

> [Stand-up comedy is a raunchy profession.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aziz-ansari/stand-up-comedy-is-a-raunchy-profession/)

[Aziz Ansari](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aziz-ansari/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c0c/aziz-ansari-2677_comedy_stand-up-comedy-is-a-raunchy-profession_1132324.png)

## Top authors on Stand Comedy

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                        "text": "While awaiting sentencing, I decided to give stand-up comedy a shot. The judge had suggested I get my act together, and I took him seriously.",
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                        "text": "I feel blessed to be able to do my stand up comedy all over the world, because some people never even leave New York.",
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                        "text": "In the mid-1970s, there was this huge boom of stand-up comedy throughout North America. I went to see a show at a club called Yuk-Yuks, in Toronto, and I was just fascinated. I ended up coming back for amateur hour on a Monday at midnight and got up there without any thought as to what might come of it.",
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                        "text": "If you look up the definition of stand-up comedy, it's funny on purpose. A little bit of pressure there. It's basically acting. You're telling stories and acting them out for people. The more you make it seem real, really a person doing it, then it seems to me the better it works.",
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                        "text": "The word 'supportive' has no place in stand-up comedy. I hate when people are like, 'Support female comedy.' That's not a real genre of comedy. I think if you have true respect for women as three-dimensional creators who are innovative, you wouldn't group them together like that.",
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                        "text": "Stand-up comedy is a very hard thing on the spirit. There are people who transcend it, like Jack Benny and Steve Martin, but in its essence, it's soul-destroying. It tends to turn people into control freaks.",
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                        "text": "When I was nine, we'd take a bus to the seaside. Coming back, we'd take turns entertaining, singing songs and the like. I tried some stand-up comedy. I had a captive audience in that bus. Then I realized I wanted to do more than that.",
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                        "text": "To perform stand-up comedy in a club, that's the most exciting profession in the world. You're like Spartacus going into battle because every show is a different audience. And you're not hiding behind anything; you're yourself out there and being judged on your own merits.",
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                        "text": "Stand up comedy is this thing you get to do, so you have to treat it with respect. You can't just be like, 'Alright, I got my hour down, people are coming to see me now. Now, I'm going to lean on the mike stand.' No, you gotta work even harder now. You got to top what you already did. Because they'll find someone else.",
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                        "text": "About a year after I moved to Los Angeles, I decided I wanted to be a joke writer for a late night talk show. So I met with a late night joke writer and he told me that I should start by doing stand-up comedy, because that would really hone my sense of humor and joke writing ability. Eventually I took a stand-up class and a few months later I had a seven-minute act.",
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                        "text": "In the stand-up comedy top, there's room for everyone - if you're good, there's room for everyone. You'll put on your own show - no one casts you. You cast your own show as a stand-up comedian. When you get good at stand-up comedy you book a theater and if people show up, people show up. If people don't show up, people don't show up. You don't have a director or a casting agent or anybody saying if you're good enough - the audience will decide.",
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                        "text": "I always get a little bit pissed off when stand-up comedy is not recognised as being as good a craft as being an actor. We give Oscars to people and it's like, 'Aw, this person is the greatest person on earth', but being an actor is pretty easy in comparison to stand-up comedy. It's no surprise that several stand-up comics have gone on to become great actors. I don't know any great actors that have gone on to become great stand-up comics.",
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                        "text": "Stand-up can take you in so many different places, man. So many doors can be opened up from stand-up comedy, and the first one that was opened up for me was acting. But you can go from acting to being a TV personality to being a radio personality to being a writer to being a producer, to just being a visionary, to voiceover work.",
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                        "text": "The earliest stand-up comedy I was aware of was Bill Cosby. I watched Saturday Night Live as soon as I was aware of it, and Monty Python used to be on PBS at weird hours, so I used to try to watch that. And I loved George Carlin on SNL, that was the first stand-up I ever really remember seeing on TV. And then Steve Martin. I guess I was in fifth or sixth grade when Steve Martin showed up, and he was instantly my idol. And Richard Pryor around the same time too, I sort of became aware of him, though I don't remember the first time I saw him.",
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                        "text": "Now obviously popularity isn't everything when it comes to stand up comedy, but the art form itself is better today than it ever has before. I think there are more great comics. I think the standard is higher. The critical analysis is a little harsher, but that is also good. Maybe people have a higher standard than before, maybe they are a little more judgmental, a little more brutal, that makes people work harder. It makes the stand up better.",
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                        "text": "Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.",
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                        "text": "How I've fed my kids over the years is by doing stand-up comedy in clubs.",
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                        "text": "The edge of inappropriate is the spiritual home of the best stand-up comedy.",
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