--- title: "22 Shows Quotes By Stephen Colbert" description: "22 Shows quotes by Stephen Colbert. Plus more from Stephen Colbert and more Shows sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ef/stephen-colbert-503_character_i-won-t-be-doing-the-new-show-in-charact_260451.png" --- > [I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-won-t-be-doing-the-new-show-in-character-so-we-ll-all-get-to-find/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ef/stephen-colbert-503_character_i-won-t-be-doing-the-new-show-in-charact_260451.png) > [A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/a-new-study-shows-that-having-a-severe-phobia-can-hasten-aging-but/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/857/stephen-colbert-503_aging_a-new-study-shows-that-having-a-severe-p_565701.png) > [With Late Night Show I can begin the search for the real Stephen Colbert.I just hope I don't find him on Ashley…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/with-late-night-show-i-can-begin-the-search-for-the-real-stephen/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a5/stephen-colbert-503_ashley_with-late-night-show-i-can-begin-the-sea_2046133.jpg) > [On this show, your voice will be heard - in the form of my voice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/on-this-show-your-voice-will-be-heard-in-the-form-of-my-voice/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8e/stephen-colbert-503_form_on-this-show-your-voice-will-be-heard-in_1649958.png) > [I gut check my show. I say, I say, "Gut, gut, does that feel true to you?" And Gut says, "Yes it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-gut-check-my-show-i-say-i-say-gut-gut-does-that-feel-true-to-you/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c30/stephen-colbert-503_checks_i-gut-check-my-show-i-say-i-say-gut-gut_2377341.png) > [If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/if-i-m-doing-a-talk-show-or-an-interview-or-pretty-much-anything/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/730/stephen-colbert-503_character_if-i-m-doing-a-talk-show-or-an-interview_3145525.png) > [Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/once-i-m-performing-the-show-i-think-that-hour-show-has-a-certain/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d4/stephen-colbert-503_audience_once-i-m-performing-the-show-i-think-tha_1776737.jpg) > [Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/every-night-on-my-show-the-colbert-report-i-speak-straight-from-the-2/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3c/stephen-colbert-503_argument_every-night-on-my-show-the-colbert-repor_1903647.png) > [And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/and-we-didn-t-have-cell-phones-if-you-made-plans-to-meet-someone-in-a/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bd/stephen-colbert-503_assuming_and-we-didn-t-have-cell-phones-if-you-ma_1347198.png) > [We will try to honor David Letterman achievement by doing the best show we can.And occasionally making the network very mad at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/we-will-try-to-honor-david-letterman-achievement-by-doing-the-best/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24e/stephen-colbert-503_achievement_we-will-try-to-honor-david-letterman-ach_373187.png) > [In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/in-order-to-maintain-an-untenable-position-you-have-to-be-actively/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/stephen-colbert-503_facts_in-order-to-maintain-an-untenable-positi_789844.png) > [You may learn sooner than most generations the hard lesson that you must always make the path for yourself...There is no secret…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/you-may-learn-sooner-than-most-generations-the-hard-lesson-that-you/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/113/stephen-colbert-503_generations_you-may-learn-sooner-than-most-generatio_926234.png) > [I have two last pieces of advice. First, being pre-approved for a credit card does not mean you have to apply for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-have-two-last-pieces-of-advice-first-being-pre-approved-for-a/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa1/stephen-colbert-503_advice_i-have-two-last-pieces-of-advice-first-b_1146602.jpg) > [Writing and producing the show is an intellectual process. Performing the show is far more athletic and intuitive, because you don't get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/writing-and-producing-the-show-is-an-intellectual-process-performing/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5e/stephen-colbert-503_athletic_writing-and-producing-the-show-is-an-int_3016792.png) > [I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place finisher at the 1981 Charleston…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-welcome-opposing-viewpoints-but-i-should-warn-you-that-you-ll-be/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6c/stephen-colbert-503_charleston_i-welcome-opposing-viewpoints-but-i-shou_131253.png) > [And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/and-when-those-bombs-went-off-there-were-runners-who-after-finishing/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e9d/stephen-colbert-503_blood_and-when-those-bombs-went-off-there-were_2979337.png) > [ We \[comics\] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/we-comics-create-our-own-reality-on-the-show-i-m-in-a-cocoon-of-the/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ad/stephen-colbert-503_character_we-comics-create-our-own-reality-on-the_1213961.png) > [It's much better to invite the audience to be part of your show rather than saying, "I command you to do this."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/it-s-much-better-to-invite-the-audience-to-be-part-of-your-show/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df7/stephen-colbert-503_audience_it-s-much-better-to-invite-the-audience_856912.png) > [Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it's an athletic endeavor. You have to be able to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/comedians-dissect-jokes-all-the-time-comedians-are-beautiful-2/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a9/stephen-colbert-503_able_comedians-dissect-jokes-all-the-time-com_2021328.png) > [I'm not a standup. I didn't start off as a writer, I learned to write through improvisation, and so that's the part…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-m-not-a-standup-i-didn-t-start-off-as-a-writer-i-learned-to-write/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/363/stephen-colbert-503_i-can_i-m-not-a-standup-i-didn-t-start-off-as_2868062.jpg) > [Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/every-night-on-my-show-the-colbert-report-i-speak-straight-from-the/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a3/stephen-colbert-503_argument_every-night-on-my-show-the-colbert-repor_709042.png) > [I do my show half-hour a night four nights a week. I haven't seen my kids in 18 months, and I am…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-do-my-show-half-hour-a-night-four-nights-a-week-i-haven-t-seen-my/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc5/stephen-colbert-503_bones_i-do-my-show-half-hour-a-night-four-nigh_2340417.png) ## Other authors on Shows ## More by Stephen Colbert > [Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/don-t-be-bitter-everybody-suffers-if-you-can-accept-your-suffering/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/cynicism-masquerades-as-wisdom-but-it-is-the-farthest-thing-from-it/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act. Democrats and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/we-all-deserve-credit-for-this-new-surveillance-state-that-we-live-in/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-ve-long-been-against-illegal-aliens-partly-because-they-distract-us/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to believe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/believe-in-me-cause-i-don-t-believe-in-anything-and-i-wanna-be/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/it-s-august-which-means-congress-is-on-recess-and-mitch-mcconnell-has/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Try to love others and serve others and hopefully find those who love and serve you in return.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/try-to-love-others-and-serve-others-and-hopefully-find-those-who-love/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/thirty-seconds-is-the-exact-amount-of-time-americans-can-tolerate/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-used-to-make-up-stuff-in-my-bio-all-the-time-that-i-used-to-be-a/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-live-by-syllogisms-god-is-love-love-is-blind-stevie-wonder-is-blind/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [“Unlike Paul Newman, who seems to think that salad dressing is the cure-all for America's ills, I'm a man of action.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/unlike-paul-newman-who-seems-to-think-that-salad-dressing-is-the-cure/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a blog for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/now-for-my-younger-viewers-out-there-a-book-is-something-we-used-to/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Jesus forgives sinners, not criminals.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/jesus-forgives-sinners-not-criminals/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [Used books are the sluts of the literary world. Passed around from person to person, spreading their pages for anyone, getting cheaper and cheaper…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/used-books-are-the-sluts-of-the-literary-world-passed-around-from/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [“Divorce is a marital welfare. It's just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn't do enough research before they got married.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/divorce-is-a-marital-welfare-it-s-just-couples-asking-society-to-bail/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/stephen-colbert/#itemlist", "name": "22 Shows Quotes By Stephen Colbert", "numberOfItems": 22, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-won-t-be-doing-the-new-show-in-character-so-we-ll-all-get-to-find/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ef/stephen-colbert-503_character_i-won-t-be-doing-the-new-show-in-charact_260451.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ef/stephen-colbert-503_character_i-won-t-be-doing-the-new-show-in-charact_260451.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ef/stephen-colbert-503_character_i-won-t-be-doing-the-new-show-in-charact_260451.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. 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But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/a-new-study-shows-that-having-a-severe-phobia-can-hasten-aging-but/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/857/stephen-colbert-503_aging_a-new-study-shows-that-having-a-severe-p_565701.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/857/stephen-colbert-503_aging_a-new-study-shows-that-having-a-severe-p_565701.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/857/stephen-colbert-503_aging_a-new-study-shows-that-having-a-severe-p_565701.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. 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I say, I say, \"Gut, gut, does that feel true to you?\" And Gut says, \"Yes it does, Stephen. Let's get a grilled cheese sandwich.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-gut-check-my-show-i-say-i-say-gut-gut-does-that-feel-true-to-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c30/stephen-colbert-503_checks_i-gut-check-my-show-i-say-i-say-gut-gut_2377341.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c30/stephen-colbert-503_checks_i-gut-check-my-show-i-say-i-say-gut-gut_2377341.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c30/stephen-colbert-503_checks_i-gut-check-my-show-i-say-i-say-gut-gut_2377341.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I gut check my show. I say, I say, \"Gut, gut, does that feel true to you?\" And Gut says, \"Yes it does…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/if-i-m-doing-a-talk-show-or-an-interview-or-pretty-much-anything/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/730/stephen-colbert-503_character_if-i-m-doing-a-talk-show-or-an-interview_3145525.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/730/stephen-colbert-503_character_if-i-m-doing-a-talk-show-or-an-interview_3145525.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/730/stephen-colbert-503_character_if-i-m-doing-a-talk-show-or-an-interview_3145525.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/once-i-m-performing-the-show-i-think-that-hour-show-has-a-certain/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d4/stephen-colbert-503_audience_once-i-m-performing-the-show-i-think-tha_1776737.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d4/stephen-colbert-503_audience_once-i-m-performing-the-show-i-think-tha_1776737.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1d4/stephen-colbert-503_audience_once-i-m-performing-the-show-i-think-tha_1776737.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it \"The No Fact Zone.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/every-night-on-my-show-the-colbert-report-i-speak-straight-from-the-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3c/stephen-colbert-503_argument_every-night-on-my-show-the-colbert-repor_1903647.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3c/stephen-colbert-503_argument_every-night-on-my-show-the-colbert-repor_1903647.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b3c/stephen-colbert-503_argument_every-night-on-my-show-the-colbert-repor_1903647.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/and-we-didn-t-have-cell-phones-if-you-made-plans-to-meet-someone-in-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bd/stephen-colbert-503_assuming_and-we-didn-t-have-cell-phones-if-you-ma_1347198.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bd/stephen-colbert-503_assuming_and-we-didn-t-have-cell-phones-if-you-ma_1347198.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bd/stephen-colbert-503_assuming_and-we-didn-t-have-cell-phones-if-you-ma_1347198.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We will try to honor David Letterman achievement by doing the best show we can.And occasionally making the network very mad at us.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/we-will-try-to-honor-david-letterman-achievement-by-doing-the-best/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24e/stephen-colbert-503_achievement_we-will-try-to-honor-david-letterman-ach_373187.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24e/stephen-colbert-503_achievement_we-will-try-to-honor-david-letterman-ach_373187.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24e/stephen-colbert-503_achievement_we-will-try-to-honor-david-letterman-ach_373187.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We will try to honor David Letterman achievement by doing the best show we can.And occasionally making the…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/in-order-to-maintain-an-untenable-position-you-have-to-be-actively/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/stephen-colbert-503_facts_in-order-to-maintain-an-untenable-positi_789844.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/stephen-colbert-503_facts_in-order-to-maintain-an-untenable-positi_789844.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/stephen-colbert-503_facts_in-order-to-maintain-an-untenable-positi_789844.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "You may learn sooner than most generations the hard lesson that you must always make the path for yourself...There is no secret society out there that will tap you on your shoulder one night and show you the way.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/you-may-learn-sooner-than-most-generations-the-hard-lesson-that-you/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/113/stephen-colbert-503_generations_you-may-learn-sooner-than-most-generatio_926234.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/113/stephen-colbert-503_generations_you-may-learn-sooner-than-most-generatio_926234.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/113/stephen-colbert-503_generations_you-may-learn-sooner-than-most-generatio_926234.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“You may learn sooner than most generations the hard lesson that you must always make the path for…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have two last pieces of advice. First, being pre-approved for a credit card does not mean you have to apply for it. And lastly, the best career advice I can give you is to get your own TV show. It pays well, the hours are good, and you are famous. And eventually some very nice people will give you a doctorate in fine arts for doing jack squat.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-have-two-last-pieces-of-advice-first-being-pre-approved-for-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa1/stephen-colbert-503_advice_i-have-two-last-pieces-of-advice-first-b_1146602.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa1/stephen-colbert-503_advice_i-have-two-last-pieces-of-advice-first-b_1146602.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa1/stephen-colbert-503_advice_i-have-two-last-pieces-of-advice-first-b_1146602.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have two last pieces of advice. 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Because I've done 10,000 hours of comedy, I have this database in my mind of what works and what doesn't work.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/writing-and-producing-the-show-is-an-intellectual-process-performing/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5e/stephen-colbert-503_athletic_writing-and-producing-the-show-is-an-int_3016792.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5e/stephen-colbert-503_athletic_writing-and-producing-the-show-is-an-int_3016792.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5e/stephen-colbert-503_athletic_writing-and-producing-the-show-is-an-int_3016792.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Writing and producing the show is an intellectual process. 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Last time I checked, she didn't have her own show.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-welcome-opposing-viewpoints-but-i-should-warn-you-that-you-ll-be/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6c/stephen-colbert-503_charleston_i-welcome-opposing-viewpoints-but-i-shou_131253.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6c/stephen-colbert-503_charleston_i-welcome-opposing-viewpoints-but-i-shou_131253.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b6c/stephen-colbert-503_charleston_i-welcome-opposing-viewpoints-but-i-shou_131253.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I welcome opposing viewpoints, but I should warn you that you'll be facing off against the 2nd-place…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know -- these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/and-when-those-bombs-went-off-there-were-runners-who-after-finishing/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e9d/stephen-colbert-503_blood_and-when-those-bombs-went-off-there-were_2979337.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e9d/stephen-colbert-503_blood_and-when-those-bombs-went-off-there-were_2979337.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e9d/stephen-colbert-503_blood_and-when-those-bombs-went-off-there-were_2979337.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“And when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very ­crafted, controlled environment.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/we-comics-create-our-own-reality-on-the-show-i-m-in-a-cocoon-of-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ad/stephen-colbert-503_character_we-comics-create-our-own-reality-on-the_1213961.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ad/stephen-colbert-503_character_we-comics-create-our-own-reality-on-the_1213961.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4ad/stephen-colbert-503_character_we-comics-create-our-own-reality-on-the_1213961.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We [comics] create our own reality on the show. 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If you initiate a game and they take part, you can't stop until it reaches a mutually satisfying resolution.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/it-s-much-better-to-invite-the-audience-to-be-part-of-your-show/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df7/stephen-colbert-503_audience_it-s-much-better-to-invite-the-audience_856912.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df7/stephen-colbert-503_audience_it-s-much-better-to-invite-the-audience_856912.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df7/stephen-colbert-503_audience_it-s-much-better-to-invite-the-audience_856912.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's much better to invite the audience to be part of your show rather than saying, \"I command you to do…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 19, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it's an athletic endeavor. You have to be able to just hit the backhand. You can't think about all the pieces of it. You can't think about your swing. You just have to do it. Reading someone else's deconstruction of what I do, all it does is put me in my head. On nights when the show goes particularly well, I am not aware of its fluidity. A lot of nights I'm just worried that I'm not going to be as good as the script in front of me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/comedians-dissect-jokes-all-the-time-comedians-are-beautiful-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a9/stephen-colbert-503_able_comedians-dissect-jokes-all-the-time-com_2021328.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a9/stephen-colbert-503_able_comedians-dissect-jokes-all-the-time-com_2021328.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1a9/stephen-colbert-503_able_comedians-dissect-jokes-all-the-time-com_2021328.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. 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I call it \"The No Fact Zone.\" Fox News, I hold a copyright on that term.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/every-night-on-my-show-the-colbert-report-i-speak-straight-from-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a3/stephen-colbert-503_argument_every-night-on-my-show-the-colbert-repor_709042.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a3/stephen-colbert-503_argument_every-night-on-my-show-the-colbert-repor_709042.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a3/stephen-colbert-503_argument_every-night-on-my-show-the-colbert-repor_709042.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 22, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I do my show half-hour a night four nights a week. I haven't seen my kids in 18 months, and I am losing calcium in my bones. Doctors say I should stop. I'm not going to.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Stephen Colbert" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/i-do-my-show-half-hour-a-night-four-nights-a-week-i-haven-t-seen-my/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc5/stephen-colbert-503_bones_i-do-my-show-half-hour-a-night-four-nigh_2340417.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc5/stephen-colbert-503_bones_i-do-my-show-half-hour-a-night-four-nigh_2340417.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc5/stephen-colbert-503_bones_i-do-my-show-half-hour-a-night-four-nigh_2340417.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I do my show half-hour a night four nights a week. I haven't seen my kids in 18 months, and I am losing…” — Stephen Colbert", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/stephen-colbert/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/stephen-colbert/", "name": "Shows Quotes by Stephen Colbert", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/stephen-colbert/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3ef/stephen-colbert-503_character_i-won-t-be-doing-the-new-show-in-charact_260451.png" }, "description": "22 Shows quotes by Stephen Colbert. 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