--- title: "19 Shows Quotes By Craig Ferguson" description: "19 Shows quotes by Craig Ferguson. Plus more from Craig Ferguson and more Shows sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3d/craig-ferguson-664_actors_i-do-a-public-access-show-with-puppets-p_2992055.png" --- > [I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-do-a-public-access-show-with-puppets-puppets-called-actors-tv-and/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3d/craig-ferguson-664_actors_i-do-a-public-access-show-with-puppets-p_2992055.png) > [I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-have-to-do-a-show-which-is-of-interest-to-me-or-else-i-m-lost/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a4/craig-ferguson-664_interest_i-have-to-do-a-show-which-is-of-interest_69364.png) > [That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/that-s-why-credit-card-companies-are-evil-are-they-sponsoring-the/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43e/craig-ferguson-664_cards_that-s-why-credit-card-companies-are-evi_2477025.png) > [Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/don-t-ever-rope-me-in-as-a-late-night-talk-show-host-i-don-t-want-to/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f9/craig-ferguson-664_host_don-t-ever-rope-me-in-as-a-late-night-ta_2168145.png) > [Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/look-there-is-nothing-you-can-say-about-this-show-that-i-don-t/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0de/craig-ferguson-664_know_look-there-is-nothing-you-can-say-about_672337.png) > [They say give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he'll get…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/they-say-give-a-man-a-fish-and-he-ll-eat-for-a-day-but-teach-a-man-to/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5d/craig-ferguson-664_discovery_they-say-give-a-man-a-fish-and-he-ll-eat_638015.png) > [There's going to be a new cable-TV channel for dogs. Dogs don't even watch TV. But the schedule came out today. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/there-s-going-to-be-a-new-cable-tv-channel-for-dogs-dogs-don-t-even/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e3/craig-ferguson-664_bark_there-s-going-to-be-a-new-cable-tv-chann_2735801.png) > [I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It's 12:30…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-used-to-psych-myself-up-before-the-show-and-now-i-do-the-complete/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd2/craig-ferguson-664_complete-opposites_i-used-to-psych-myself-up-before-the-sho_1821227.jpg) > [I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-don-t-see-my-show-as-a-stepping-stone-to-something-else-like-some/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/craig-ferguson-664_doors_i-don-t-see-my-show-as-a-stepping-stone_1649541.png) > [If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/if-we-are-now-holding-late-night-talk-show-hosts-to-the-same-moral/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b93/craig-ferguson-664_accountability_if-we-are-now-holding-late-night-talk-sh_2224514.png) > [Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/last-night-on-the-show-i-had-olympics-fever-unfortunately-it-s/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/craig-ferguson-664_doctors_last-night-on-the-show-i-had-olympics-fe_2106653.jpg) > [I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-said-that-the-only-way-i-could-have-a-band-that-would-work-in-the/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/289/craig-ferguson-664_band_i-said-that-the-only-way-i-could-have-a_1455043.png) > [Every year law schools churn out thousands of lawyers. We don't need any more lawyers. We need more lawyers like we need…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/every-year-law-schools-churn-out-thousands-of-lawyers-we-don-t-need/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ee/craig-ferguson-664_education_every-year-law-schools-churn-out-thousan_2262205.png) > [I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-just-do-my-thing-and-try-each-show-to-be-more-honest-about-why-i-am/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a4/craig-ferguson-664_honest_i-just-do-my-thing-and-try-each-show-to_981665.png) > [Ratings experts say the best way to get people to watch during sweeps is to leave the audience with a question that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/ratings-experts-say-the-best-way-to-get-people-to-watch-during-sweeps/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43c/craig-ferguson-664_audience_ratings-experts-say-the-best-way-to-get_3070685.png) > [I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-do-a-show-it-comes-on-late-at-night-on-tv-and-if-that-means-i-m-a/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/945/craig-ferguson-664_care_i-do-a-show-it-comes-on-late-at-night-on_1228230.png) > [Cannabis always made me paranoid; I felt like people were watching me. And now I'm sober, and I've got this talk show…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/cannabis-always-made-me-paranoid-i-felt-like-people-were-watching-me/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eae/craig-ferguson-664_cannabis_cannabis-always-made-me-paranoid-i-felt_223151.png) > [I salute Rick Perry for the way he's trying to overcome this. Today he came out and said he's not one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-salute-rick-perry-for-the-way-he-s-trying-to-overcome-this-today-he/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/701/craig-ferguson-664_excuse_i-salute-rick-perry-for-the-way-he-s-try_2201997.png) > [If you watch cooking shows on cable, they have lots of British people. Because when you think good cooking, you immediately think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/if-you-watch-cooking-shows-on-cable-they-have-lots-of-british-people/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a8/craig-ferguson-664_britain_if-you-watch-cooking-shows-on-cable-they_808411.png) ## Other authors on Shows ## More by Craig Ferguson > [“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-was-ambitious-and-desperate-to-direct-my-first-film-so-i/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/sometimes-people-think-you-re-smart-if-you-question-the-status-quo-if/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/sober-alkies-are-often-asked-when-did-you-hit-rock-bottom-but-a-more/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/remember-the-band-flock-of-seagulls-they-had-their-van-stolen-i-was/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/people-spend-thousands-of-dollars-trying-to-keep-their-teeth-straight/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [Whoever I had become had to die.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/whoever-i-had-become-had-to-die/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [My pilot's license. I'm proud of that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/my-pilot-s-license-i-m-proud-of-that/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/people-are-saying-that-anderson-cooper-could-be-the-new-oprah-and/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-think-comedy-comes-more-from-a-low-sense-of-self-esteem-and-i/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [I'm so excited about the new iPad, I just iPeed my iPants.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-m-so-excited-about-the-new-ipad-i-just-ipeed-my-ipants/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/for-my-birthday-that-year-anne-gave-me-an-inflatable-atlas-globe/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [114 isn't as old as it used to be they say its the new 104.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/114-isn-t-as-old-as-it-used-to-be-they-say-its-the-new-104/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-have-to-do-a-show-which-is-of-interest-to-me-or-else-i-m-lost/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [The first ads for medical marijuana have started airing on television in California. The ads are quite expensive. It costs a lot of money…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/the-first-ads-for-medical-marijuana-have-started-airing-on-television/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) > [I wanted to be a rock star.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-wanted-to-be-a-rock-star/) [Craig Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-ferguson/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/craig-ferguson/#itemlist", "name": "19 Shows Quotes By Craig Ferguson", "numberOfItems": 19, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-do-a-public-access-show-with-puppets-puppets-called-actors-tv-and/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3d/craig-ferguson-664_actors_i-do-a-public-access-show-with-puppets-p_2992055.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3d/craig-ferguson-664_actors_i-do-a-public-access-show-with-puppets-p_2992055.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3d/craig-ferguson-664_actors_i-do-a-public-access-show-with-puppets-p_2992055.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I do a public access show with puppets. Puppets called actors, TV and movie stars.” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-have-to-do-a-show-which-is-of-interest-to-me-or-else-i-m-lost/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a4/craig-ferguson-664_interest_i-have-to-do-a-show-which-is-of-interest_69364.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a4/craig-ferguson-664_interest_i-have-to-do-a-show-which-is-of-interest_69364.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a4/craig-ferguson-664_interest_i-have-to-do-a-show-which-is-of-interest_69364.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I have to do a show which is of interest to me, or else I'm lost.” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/that-s-why-credit-card-companies-are-evil-are-they-sponsoring-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43e/craig-ferguson-664_cards_that-s-why-credit-card-companies-are-evi_2477025.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43e/craig-ferguson-664_cards_that-s-why-credit-card-companies-are-evi_2477025.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43e/craig-ferguson-664_cards_that-s-why-credit-card-companies-are-evi_2477025.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/don-t-ever-rope-me-in-as-a-late-night-talk-show-host-i-don-t-want-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f9/craig-ferguson-664_host_don-t-ever-rope-me-in-as-a-late-night-ta_2168145.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f9/craig-ferguson-664_host_don-t-ever-rope-me-in-as-a-late-night-ta_2168145.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f9/craig-ferguson-664_host_don-t-ever-rope-me-in-as-a-late-night-ta_2168145.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one.” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/look-there-is-nothing-you-can-say-about-this-show-that-i-don-t/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0de/craig-ferguson-664_know_look-there-is-nothing-you-can-say-about_672337.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0de/craig-ferguson-664_know_look-there-is-nothing-you-can-say-about_672337.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0de/craig-ferguson-664_know_look-there-is-nothing-you-can-say-about_672337.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Look, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 6, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "They say give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he'll get his own show on the Discovery Channel.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/they-say-give-a-man-a-fish-and-he-ll-eat-for-a-day-but-teach-a-man-to/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5d/craig-ferguson-664_discovery_they-say-give-a-man-a-fish-and-he-ll-eat_638015.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5d/craig-ferguson-664_discovery_they-say-give-a-man-a-fish-and-he-ll-eat_638015.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5d/craig-ferguson-664_discovery_they-say-give-a-man-a-fish-and-he-ll-eat_638015.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“They say give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. But teach a man to fish and he'll get his own show on…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "There's going to be a new cable-TV channel for dogs. Dogs don't even watch TV. But the schedule came out today. And they've got great shows, like Barks & Recreation and Game of Bones.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/there-s-going-to-be-a-new-cable-tv-channel-for-dogs-dogs-don-t-even/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e3/craig-ferguson-664_bark_there-s-going-to-be-a-new-cable-tv-chann_2735801.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e3/craig-ferguson-664_bark_there-s-going-to-be-a-new-cable-tv-chann_2735801.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e3/craig-ferguson-664_bark_there-s-going-to-be-a-new-cable-tv-chann_2735801.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“There's going to be a new cable-TV channel for dogs. Dogs don't even watch TV. But the schedule came out…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 8, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It's 12:30 at night, you don't want some guy yelling at you. You want some guy just talking to you.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-used-to-psych-myself-up-before-the-show-and-now-i-do-the-complete/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd2/craig-ferguson-664_complete-opposites_i-used-to-psych-myself-up-before-the-sho_1821227.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd2/craig-ferguson-664_complete-opposites_i-used-to-psych-myself-up-before-the-sho_1821227.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dd2/craig-ferguson-664_complete-opposites_i-used-to-psych-myself-up-before-the-sho_1821227.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I used to psych myself up before the show and now I do the complete opposite: I psych myself down. It's…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 9, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot out the door looking for their next job.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-don-t-see-my-show-as-a-stepping-stone-to-something-else-like-some/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/craig-ferguson-664_doors_i-don-t-see-my-show-as-a-stepping-stone_1649541.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/craig-ferguson-664_doors_i-don-t-see-my-show-as-a-stepping-stone_1649541.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/28e/craig-ferguson-664_doors_i-don-t-see-my-show-as-a-stepping-stone_1649541.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I don't see my show as a stepping stone to something else like some people, who get a job then have a foot…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/if-we-are-now-holding-late-night-talk-show-hosts-to-the-same-moral/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b93/craig-ferguson-664_accountability_if-we-are-now-holding-late-night-talk-sh_2224514.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b93/craig-ferguson-664_accountability_if-we-are-now-holding-late-night-talk-sh_2224514.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b93/craig-ferguson-664_accountability_if-we-are-now-holding-late-night-talk-sh_2224514.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to call my doctor if my torch burns for more than four hours.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/last-night-on-the-show-i-had-olympics-fever-unfortunately-it-s/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/craig-ferguson-664_doctors_last-night-on-the-show-i-had-olympics-fe_2106653.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/craig-ferguson-664_doctors_last-night-on-the-show-i-had-olympics-fe_2106653.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/craig-ferguson-664_doctors_last-night-on-the-show-i-had-olympics-fe_2106653.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Last night on the show I had Olympics fever. Unfortunately, it's getting worse. That's not good. I have to…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if the band were crap. So if I have a band they'd have to really suck.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-said-that-the-only-way-i-could-have-a-band-that-would-work-in-the/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/289/craig-ferguson-664_band_i-said-that-the-only-way-i-could-have-a_1455043.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/289/craig-ferguson-664_band_i-said-that-the-only-way-i-could-have-a_1455043.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/289/craig-ferguson-664_band_i-said-that-the-only-way-i-could-have-a_1455043.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I said that the only way I could have a band that would work in the format of my show is if the band were…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Every year law schools churn out thousands of lawyers. We don't need any more lawyers. We need more lawyers like we need more talk-show hosts.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/every-year-law-schools-churn-out-thousands-of-lawyers-we-don-t-need/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ee/craig-ferguson-664_education_every-year-law-schools-churn-out-thousan_2262205.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ee/craig-ferguson-664_education_every-year-law-schools-churn-out-thousan_2262205.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ee/craig-ferguson-664_education_every-year-law-schools-churn-out-thousan_2262205.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Every year law schools churn out thousands of lawyers. We don't need any more lawyers. We need more lawyers…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 14, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and actually nerve-racking to do that. It's kind of a happy train wreck.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-just-do-my-thing-and-try-each-show-to-be-more-honest-about-why-i-am/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a4/craig-ferguson-664_honest_i-just-do-my-thing-and-try-each-show-to_981665.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a4/craig-ferguson-664_honest_i-just-do-my-thing-and-try-each-show-to_981665.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a4/craig-ferguson-664_honest_i-just-do-my-thing-and-try-each-show-to_981665.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I just do my thing and try each show to be more honest about why I am and who I am. It's quite tricky and…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 15, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Ratings experts say the best way to get people to watch during sweeps is to leave the audience with a question that won't be answered until the next time the show is on. You know, like Who shot J.R.? I like to think I do this every night - the question is, Is this show still on?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/ratings-experts-say-the-best-way-to-get-people-to-watch-during-sweeps/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43c/craig-ferguson-664_audience_ratings-experts-say-the-best-way-to-get_3070685.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43c/craig-ferguson-664_audience_ratings-experts-say-the-best-way-to-get_3070685.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43c/craig-ferguson-664_audience_ratings-experts-say-the-best-way-to-get_3070685.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Ratings experts say the best way to get people to watch during sweeps is to leave the audience with a…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host, then I guess I am, but in every other regard I resign my commission, I don't care for it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-do-a-show-it-comes-on-late-at-night-on-tv-and-if-that-means-i-m-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/945/craig-ferguson-664_care_i-do-a-show-it-comes-on-late-at-night-on_1228230.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/945/craig-ferguson-664_care_i-do-a-show-it-comes-on-late-at-night-on_1228230.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/945/craig-ferguson-664_care_i-do-a-show-it-comes-on-late-at-night-on_1228230.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I do a show. It comes on late at night on TV. And if that means I'm a late-night talk show host, then I…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 17, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Cannabis always made me paranoid; I felt like people were watching me. And now I'm sober, and I've got this talk show in the middle of the night on CBS, and I now know that no one is watching me.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/cannabis-always-made-me-paranoid-i-felt-like-people-were-watching-me/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eae/craig-ferguson-664_cannabis_cannabis-always-made-me-paranoid-i-felt_223151.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eae/craig-ferguson-664_cannabis_cannabis-always-made-me-paranoid-i-felt_223151.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eae/craig-ferguson-664_cannabis_cannabis-always-made-me-paranoid-i-felt_223151.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Cannabis always made me paranoid; I felt like people were watching me. And now I'm sober, and I've got this…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 18, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I salute Rick Perry for the way he's trying to overcome this. Today he came out and said he's not one of those slick politicians, that this just shows his human side, and some third excuse he can't remember.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/i-salute-rick-perry-for-the-way-he-s-trying-to-overcome-this-today-he/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/701/craig-ferguson-664_excuse_i-salute-rick-perry-for-the-way-he-s-try_2201997.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/701/craig-ferguson-664_excuse_i-salute-rick-perry-for-the-way-he-s-try_2201997.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/701/craig-ferguson-664_excuse_i-salute-rick-perry-for-the-way-he-s-try_2201997.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I salute Rick Perry for the way he's trying to overcome this. Today he came out and said he's not one of…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 19, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If you watch cooking shows on cable, they have lots of British people. Because when you think good cooking, you immediately think Britain.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Craig Ferguson" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-ferguson/if-you-watch-cooking-shows-on-cable-they-have-lots-of-british-people/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a8/craig-ferguson-664_britain_if-you-watch-cooking-shows-on-cable-they_808411.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a8/craig-ferguson-664_britain_if-you-watch-cooking-shows-on-cable-they_808411.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a8/craig-ferguson-664_britain_if-you-watch-cooking-shows-on-cable-they_808411.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If you watch cooking shows on cable, they have lots of British people. Because when you think good cooking…” — Craig Ferguson", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } } ] }, { "@type": "CollectionPage", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/craig-ferguson/#webpage", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/craig-ferguson/", "name": "Shows Quotes by Craig Ferguson", "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "mainEntity": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/craig-ferguson/#itemlist" }, "primaryImageOfPage": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3d/craig-ferguson-664_actors_i-do-a-public-access-show-with-puppets-p_2992055.png" }, "description": "19 Shows quotes by Craig Ferguson. Plus more from Craig Ferguson and more Shows sayings from other authors.", "breadcrumb": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/craig-ferguson/#breadcrumb" } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/craig-ferguson/#breadcrumb", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Topics", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/categories/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Shows", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 5, "name": "Craig Ferguson", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shows/craig-ferguson/" } ] }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```