---
title: "Famous Sense of humor Sayings"
description: "Browse 1,738 Sense of humor quotes by 1,339 authors. Discover the best Sense of humor sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24b/erma-bombeck-780_civilization_when-humor-go-s-there-go-s-civilization_863511.png"
---

> [When humor go's, there go's civilization.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erma-bombeck/when-humor-go-s-there-go-s-civilization/)

[Erma Bombeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erma-bombeck/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/24b/erma-bombeck-780_civilization_when-humor-go-s-there-go-s-civilization_863511.png)

> [I don't have a very quick sense of humor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/florenz-ziegfeld/i-don-t-have-a-very-quick-sense-of-humor/)

[Florenz Ziegfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/florenz-ziegfeld/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/825/florenz-ziegfeld-34336_humor_i-don-t-have-a-very-quick-sense-of-humor_1404526.jpg)

> [“I'm a Guild Boss, remember? I have no sense of humor.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jayne-castle/i-m-a-guild-boss-remember-i-have-no-sense-of-humor/)

[Jayne Castle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jayne-castle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc7/jayne-castle-38265_boss_i-m-a-guild-boss-remember-i-have-no-sens_307274.jpg)

> [Some people don't have a sense of humor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-lyons/some-people-don-t-have-a-sense-of-humor/)

[Daniel Lyons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-lyons/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/211/daniel-lyons-6710_comedy_some-people-don-t-have-a-sense-of-humor_802481.png)

> [“The sense of humor is God's best gift to Man.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yogi-ramacharaka/the-sense-of-humor-is-god-s-best-gift-to-man/)

[Yogi Ramacharaka](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yogi-ramacharaka/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/09d/yogi-ramacharaka-31497_best-gift_the-sense-of-humor-is-god-s-best-gift-to_1019962.jpg)

> [Life is so much easier with a sense of humor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-so-much-easier-with-a-sense-of-humor/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/653/anonymous-1_comedy_life-is-so-much-easier-with-a-sense-of-h_3046768.jpg)

> [People with no sense of humor, I feel so bad for them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janelle-james/people-with-no-sense-of-humor-i-feel-so-bad-for-them/)

[Janelle James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janelle-james/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20f/janelle-james-6143_bad_people-with-no-sense-of-humor-i-feel-so_741044.jpg)

> [I've got a sense of humor. I'm a funny guy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daryl-hall/i-ve-got-a-sense-of-humor-i-m-a-funny-guy/)

[Daryl Hall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daryl-hall/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/42d/daryl-hall-5556_funny_i-ve-got-a-sense-of-humor-i-m-a-funny-gu_2156916.jpg)

> [My mother was very funny. My dad had a great sense of humor. My grandmother, too.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carol-burnett/my-mother-was-very-funny-my-dad-had-a-great-sense-of-humor-my/)

[Carol Burnett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-burnett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/567/carol-burnett-3457_dad_my-mother-was-very-funny-my-dad-had-a-gr_959756.png)

> [I think superheroes are heroes with flaws, and in their flaws, there is a sense of humor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-segal/i-think-superheroes-are-heroes-with-flaws-and-in-their-flaws-there-is/)

[Peter Segal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-segal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d01/peter-segal-53047_comic_i-think-superheroes-are-heroes-with-flaw_607041.jpg)

> [I've had a very laughable career and what has seen me through is my sense of humor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-gray/i-ve-had-a-very-laughable-career-and-what-has-seen-me-through-is-my/)

[Linda Gray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-gray/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0dd/linda-gray-25839_careers_i-ve-had-a-very-laughable-career-and-wha_1122713.png)

> [Of all the band of personal traitors the sense of humor is the most dangerous.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margery-allingham/of-all-the-band-of-personal-traitors-the-sense-of-humor-is-the-most/)

[Margery Allingham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margery-allingham/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/479/margery-allingham-13880_band_of-all-the-band-of-personal-traitors-the_2597794.jpg)

> [One of the things that binds us as a family is a shared sense of humor.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-fiennes/one-of-the-things-that-binds-us-as-a-family-is-a-shared-sense-of-humor/)

[Ralph Fiennes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-fiennes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aee/ralph-fiennes-7066_family_one-of-the-things-that-binds-us-as-a-fam_2519800.jpg)

> [Whenever I indulge my sense of humor, it gets me into trouble.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/calvin-coolidge/whenever-i-indulge-my-sense-of-humor-it-gets-me-into-trouble/)

[Calvin Coolidge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/calvin-coolidge/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/044/calvin-coolidge-764_comedy_whenever-i-indulge-my-sense-of-humor-it_311796.jpg)

> [Lord, give me a sense of humor so that I may take some happiness from this life and share it with others.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-more/lord-give-me-a-sense-of-humor-so-that-i-may-take-some-happiness-from/)

[Thomas More](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-more/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa3/thomas-more-3382_comedy_lord-give-me-a-sense-of-humor-so-that-i_239949.jpg)

> [ I had made her so unhappy that she had developed a sense of humor. \[-Rabo Karabekian\] ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-vonnegut/i-had-made-her-so-unhappy-that-she-had-developed-a-sense-of-humor/)

[Kurt Vonnegut](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-vonnegut/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/11a/kurt-vonnegut-41_humor_i-had-made-her-so-unhappy-that-she-had-d_2699849.jpg)

> [To my mind, a well-developed sense of humor is the surest indication of a person's humanity, no matter how black and bitter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-ligotti/to-my-mind-a-well-developed-sense-of-humor-is-the-surest-indication/)

[Thomas Ligotti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-ligotti/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/871/thomas-ligotti-2073_bitter_to-my-mind-a-well-developed-sense-of-hum_1273590.png)

> [Anybody with a good sense of humor is one-up on their competition. We respond to somebody who has the ability to make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-orben/anybody-with-a-good-sense-of-humor-is-one-up-on-their-competition-we/)

[Robert Orben](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-orben/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b08/robert-orben-3864_ability_anybody-with-a-good-sense-of-humor-is-on_1831283.jpg)

> [“Man in the struggle for peace, if he is serious about it, if he really knows what it is all about, can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-malik/man-in-the-struggle-for-peace-if-he-is-serious-about-it-if-he-really/)

[Charles Malik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-malik/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e07/charles-malik-70647_cynicism_man-in-the-struggle-for-peace-if-he-is-s_2689914.jpg)

> [I should say, one of the things about being a widow or a widower, you really, really need a sense of humor,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joyce-carol-oates/i-should-say-one-of-the-things-about-being-a-widow-or-a-widower-you/)

[Joyce Carol Oates](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joyce-carol-oates/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/80e/joyce-carol-oates-344_about_i-should-say-one-of-the-things-about-bei_1379812.png)

> [“Hannah is a vegetarian; Trace is a cattle rancher. Definitely, not a match made in heaven. “A horse with a sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cricket-rohman/hannah-is-a-vegetarian-trace-is-a-cattle-rancher-definitely-not-a/)

[Cricket Rohman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cricket-rohman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/559/cricket-rohman-64215_drama_hannah-is-a-vegetarian-trace-is-a-cattle_202651.jpg)

> [It started out ordinarily enough: In 1975, we were two boys that happened to share a mutual sense of humor, a love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-ridgeley/it-started-out-ordinarily-enough-in-1975-we-were-two-boys-that/)

[Andrew Ridgeley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-ridgeley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b1/andrew-ridgeley-12629_art_it-started-out-ordinarily-enough-in-1975_1599957.jpg)

> [Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carol-burnett/everybody-i-know-who-is-funny-it-s-in-them-you-can-teach-timing-or/)

[Carol Burnett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-burnett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a6/carol-burnett-3457_able_everybody-i-know-who-is-funny-it-s-in-th_3074267.png)

> [Trust, a sense of humor, and don't let the sun go down on an argument without trying to make it up. That's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/trust-a-sense-of-humor-and-don-t-let-the-sun-go-down-on-an-argument/)

[Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8c0/stephen-king-13_argument_trust-a-sense-of-humor-and-don-t-let-the_1541335.jpg)

> [“Dismissed like a dog. Damon groped for his jacket behind him, found it, and wished that his groping for his sense of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/dismissed-like-a-dog-damon-groped-for-his-jacket-behind-him-found-it/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/774/l-j-smith-the-vampire-diaries_books_dismissed-like-a-dog-damon-groped-for-hi_982443.jpg)

> [I try not to make predictions, things happen when they are supposed to happen. 'Im 19. I should be in college, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-stone/i-try-not-to-make-predictions-things-happen-when-they-are-supposed-to/)

[Emma Stone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-stone/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ace/emma-stone-1673_freshman-year_i-try-not-to-make-predictions-things-hap_518655.jpg)

> [Friends don't have to have a lot of things in common. But there's one thing friends usually do have in common -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pseudonymous-bosch/friends-don-t-have-to-have-a-lot-of-things-in-common-but-there-s-one/)

[Pseudonymous Bosch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pseudonymous-bosch/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c98/pseudonymous-bosch-12540_common_friends-don-t-have-to-have-a-lot-of-thin_2064491.png)

> [Eve: "What do you want?" Nadine: "A man of amazing sexual prowess, great sensitivity, stupendous abs, and the face of an angel.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/eve-what-do-you-want-nadine-a-man-of-amazing-sexual-prowess-great/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f6e/anonymous-1_adore_eve-what-do-you-want-nadine-a-man-of-ama_644127.jpg)

> [There's gon' be some stuff you gon' see that's gon' make it hard to smile in the future. But through whatever you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tupac-shakur/there-s-gon-be-some-stuff-you-gon-see-that-s-gon-make-it-hard-to/)

[Tupac Shakur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tupac-shakur/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c14/tupac-shakur-516_able_there-s-gon-be-some-stuff-you-gon-see-th_494394.jpg)

> [When I moved to New York a year and a half ago, I feel like I really was able to access my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chloe-wise/when-i-moved-to-new-york-a-year-and-a-half-ago-i-feel-like-i-really/)

[Chloe Wise](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chloe-wise/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69f/chloe-wise-38244_art_when-i-moved-to-new-york-a-year-and-a-ha_2369468.jpg)

> [Funnily enough, I did a play called 'Jumpy' on the West End before I did 'Divergent,' and there was an essence of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-lloyd-hughes/funnily-enough-i-did-a-play-called-jumpy-on-the-west-end-before-i-did/)

[Ben Lloyd-Hughes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-lloyd-hughes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/af7/ben-lloyd-hughes-42684_adversity_funnily-enough-i-did-a-play-called-jumpy_304935.jpg)

> [The combination of landing the biggest interview of my career and having a drill in my back reminds me that God only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-roberts/the-combination-of-landing-the-biggest-interview-of-my-career-and/)

[Robin Roberts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-roberts/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/808/robin-roberts-11996_absurdity_the-combination-of-landing-the-biggest-i_87066.png)

> [“According to the conventions of the genre, Augustus Waters kept his sense of humor till the end, did not for a moment…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-green/according-to-the-conventions-of-the-genre-augustus-waters-kept-his-2/)

[John Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-green/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1c5/john-green-12_augustus-waters_according-to-the-conventions-of-the-genr_1964008.jpg)

> [“In our relationships, weatherproofing typically plays itself out like this: You meet someone and all is well. You are attracted to his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-carlson/in-our-relationships-weatherproofing-typically-plays-itself-out-like/)

[Richard Carlson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-carlson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e5/richard-carlson-8710_bad-idea_in-our-relationships-weatherproofing-typ_518530.jpg)

> [“Turn that worthless lawn into a beautiful garden of food whose seeds are stories sown, whose foods are living origins. Grow a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-prechtel/turn-that-worthless-lawn-into-a-beautiful-garden-of-food-whose-seeds/)

[Martin Prechtel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-prechtel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a53/martin-prechtel-45389_ancestors_turn-that-worthless-lawn-into-a-beautifu_455200.jpg)

> [“On the wall next to the door we’d entered through was a huge floor-to-ceiling bulletin/whiteboard combo and hanging from a thumbtack on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jenn-cooksey/on-the-wall-next-to-the-door-we-d-entered-through-was-a-huge-floor-to/)

[Jenn Cooksey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jenn-cooksey/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ab/jenn-cooksey-27006_good-man_on-the-wall-next-to-the-door-we-d-entere_630775.jpg)

> [“Humor won’t save you; it doesn’t really do anything at all. You can look at life ironically for years, maybe decades; there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michel-houellebecq/humor-won-t-save-you-it-doesn-t-really-do-anything-at-all-you-can/)

[Michel Houellebecq](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michel-houellebecq/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fb4/michel-houellebecq-1497_comedy_humor-won-t-save-you-it-doesn-t-really-d_3041358.png)

> [“Megan noisily sucked in air for a scream that froze in her lungs. The cat stood in front of the open fire…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cait-miller/megan-noisily-sucked-in-air-for-a-scream-that-froze-in-her-lungs-the/)

[Cait Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cait-miller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/984/cait-miller-104946_kitten_megan-noisily-sucked-in-air-for-a-scream_2741567.jpg)

> [“Like the old twistor theorists, the few followers Connes has acquired are committed. For a conference at Penn State University on different…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-smolin/like-the-old-twistor-theorists-the-few-followers-connes-has-acquired/)

[Lee Smolin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-smolin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/554/lee-smolin-4171_different-approach_like-the-old-twistor-theorists-the-few-f_2828419.png)

> [“I wanted a boyfriend who was a Christian but who wasn't uptight about it, who was good-looking and intelligent and had an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-dunn/i-wanted-a-boyfriend-who-was-a-christian-but-who-wasn-t-uptight-about/)

[Sarah Dunn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-dunn/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/sarah-dunn-15457_boyfriend_i-wanted-a-boyfriend-who-was-a-christian_1258871.jpg)

## Top authors on Sense of humor

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- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-pacifiersucker-133.jpg) Pacifiersucker 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sense-of-humor/pacifiersucker/)
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                        "text": "“Man in the struggle for peace, if he is serious about it, if he really knows what it is all about, can only take his task with a sense of humor, even with a certain measure of cynicism.”",
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                        "text": "I should say, one of the things about being a widow or a widower, you really, really need a sense of humor, because everything's going to fall apart.",
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                        "text": "“Hannah is a vegetarian; Trace is a cattle rancher. Definitely, not a match made in heaven. “A horse with a sense of humor. Was that possible?”",
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                        "text": "It started out ordinarily enough: In 1975, we were two boys that happened to share a mutual sense of humor, a love of life-affirming music, the records and artists it gave birth to, and a shared sense that we understood it.",
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                        "text": "Everybody I know who is funny, it's in them. You can teach timing, or some people are able to tell a joke, though I don't like to tell jokes. But I think you have to be born with a sense of humor and a sense of timing.",
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                        "text": "Trust, a sense of humor, and don't let the sun go down on an argument without trying to make it up. That's all I know about good marriage. I've been married a long time - it seems to be working.",
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                        "text": "“Dismissed like a dog. Damon groped for his jacket behind him, found it, and wished that his groping for his sense of humor could be as successful. The faces around him were all the same. They could have been carved in stone. But not stone as hard as that that was coming together again around his soul. That rock was remarkably quick to mend—and an extra layer was added, like the layering of a pearl, but not covering anything nearly so pretty.”",
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                        "text": "I try not to make predictions, things happen when they are supposed to happen. 'Im 19. I should be in college, I did not go to college at all. I left high school my freshman year and finished through home school, so Im by no means credibly educated. But I try to make up for it in sense of humor or something.",
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                        "text": "Friends don't have to have a lot of things in common. But there's one thing friends usually do have in common - a sense of humor. That doesn't mean they find all the same things funny. Sometimes, they might even laugh at each other. But at the end of the day, friends can always laugh with each other.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Eve: \"What do you want?\" Nadine: \"A man of amazing sexual prowess, great sensitivity, stupendous abs, and the face of an angel. Toss in a wicked sense of humor and stupendous wealth, who adores the very ground I walk on. Oh wait, you already have him.",
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                        "text": "There's gon' be some stuff you gon' see that's gon' make it hard to smile in the future. But through whatever you see, through all the rain and the pain, you gotta keep your sense of humor. You gotta be able to smile through all this bullshit. Remember that.",
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                        "text": "When I moved to New York a year and a half ago, I feel like I really was able to access my sense of humor and personality through my work for maybe the first time. The city has a really nurturing, positive kind of reinforcement...for young artists. Nothing is considered weird. Nothing is frowned upon. It's sort of a free-for-all in terms of experimentation, and I think that's a really great environment for someone who wants to work in a multimedia modality.",
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                        "text": "Funnily enough, I did a play called 'Jumpy' on the West End before I did 'Divergent,' and there was an essence of that character I played, called Cam, in Will. In the sense of his vulnerability, and... he had a sense of humor that comes out of adversity, similar to Will.",
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                        "text": "The combination of landing the biggest interview of my career and having a drill in my back reminds me that God only gives us what we can handle and that it helps to have a good sense of humor when we run smack into the absurdity of life.",
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                        "text": "“According to the conventions of the genre, Augustus Waters kept his sense of humor till the end, did not for a moment waiver in his courage, and his spirit soared like an indomitable eagle until the world itself could not contain his joyous soul. But this is the truth, a pitiful boy who desperately wanted not to be pitiful, screaming and crying, poisoned by an infected G-tube that kept him alive, but not alive enough. I wiped his chin and grabbed his face in my hands and knelt down close to him so that I could see his eyes, which still lived. 'I'm sorry. I wish it was like that movie, with the Persians and the Spartans.' 'Me too,' he said. 'But it isn't,' I said. 'I know,' he said. 'There are no bad guys.' 'Yeah.' 'Even cancer isn't a bad guy really: Cancer just wants to be alive.”",
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                        "text": "“In our relationships, weatherproofing typically plays itself out like this: You meet someone and all is well. You are attracted to his or her appearance, personality, intellect, sense of humor, or some combination of these traits. Initially, you not only approve of your differences with this person, you actually appreciate them. You might even be attracted to the person, in part because of how different you are. You have different opinions, preferences, tastes, and priorities. After a while, however, you begin to notice little quirks about your new partner (or friend, teacher, whoever), that you feel could be improved upon. You bring it to their attention. You might say, “You know, you sure have a tendency to be late.” Or, “I’ve noticed you don’t read very much.” The point is, you’ve begun what inevitably turns into a way of life—looking for and thinking about what you don’t like about someone, or something that isn’t quite right. Obviously, an occasional comment, constructive criticism, or helpful guidance isn’t cause for alarm. I have to say, however, that in the course of working with hundreds of couples over the years, I’ve met very few people who didn’t feel that they were weatherproofed at times by their partner. Occasional harmless comments have an insidious tendency to become a way of looking at life. When you are weatherproofing another human being, it says nothing about them—but it does define you as someone who needs to be critical. Whether you have a tendency to weatherproof your relationships, certain aspects of your life, or both, what you need to do is write off weatherproofing as a bad idea. As the habit creeps into your thinking, catch yourself and seal your lips. The less often you weatherproof your partner or your friends, the more you’ll notice how super your life really is.”",
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                        "text": "“Turn that worthless lawn into a beautiful garden of food whose seeds are stories sown, whose foods are living origins. Grow a garden on the flat roof of your apartment building, raise bees on the roof of your garage, grow onions in the iris bed, plant fruit and nut trees that bear, don't plant 'ornamentals', and for God's sake don't complain about the ripe fruit staining your carpet and your driveway; rip out the carpet, trade food to someone who raises sheep for wool, learn to weave carpets that can be washed, tear out your driveway, plant the nine kinds of sacred berries of your ancestors, raise chickens and feed them from your garden, use your fruit in the grandest of ways, grow grapevines, make dolmas, wine, invite your fascist neighbors over to feast, get to know their ancestral grief that made them prefer a narrow mind, start gardening together, turn both your griefs into food; instead of converting them, convert their garage into a wine, root, honey, and cheese cellar--who knows, peace might break out, but if not you still have all that beautiful food to feed the rest and the sense of humor the Holy gave you to know you're not worthless because you can feed both the people and the Holy with your two little able fists.”",
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                        "text": "“On the wall next to the door we’d entered through was a huge floor-to-ceiling bulletin/whiteboard combo and hanging from a thumbtack on the bulletin board amongst pictures and other various sorts of memorabilia was my bra. It’d been washed but it still had a good many blotches of pink on it. If that wasn’t shocking enough, the dialogue written over the last two weeks on the whiteboard pertaining to said bra certainly was. I’ll include the copy just so you can truly appreciate what I’m dealing with here. Tristan’s Mom: What’s this? Tristan: A size 34B lace covered slingshot. Jeff: Nice! Tristan’s Mom: Do I want to know? Tristan: I don’t know, do you? Tristan’s Mom: Not really. Are you planning on returning it or did you win some kind of prize? Tristan: I plead the fifth. Tristan’s Dad: Well done son. Jeff: Ditto! Tristan’s Mom: Don’t encourage him. Tristan: Gee, thanks Mom. Tristan’s Dad: Can’t a father be proud of his only child? Tristan’s Mom: He doesn’t need your help…obviously. Tristan’s Dad: That’s because he takes after me. Tristan: Was there anything else I can do for you two? Tristan’s Mom: Tell her I tried to get the stains out, but I’m afraid they set in before I got to it. Tristan: I’m sure she’ll appreciate your effort, but if I’m any judge (and I’d like to think I am) its size has caused it to become obsolete and she needs to trade up. Jeff: I’m so proud. Tristan: Thanks man. Tristan’s Mom: A name would be nice you know. Tristan: Camie. Tristan’s Mom: Do we get to meet her? Tristan: Sure. I’ll have my people call your people and set it up. Tristan’s Mom: I don’t know why I bother. Do you want anything from the store? Tristan: Yeah, Camie’s sleeping over tonight and I promised her bacon and eggs for breakfast. Jeff’s got the eggs covered but could you pick up some bacon for us and maybe a box of Twinkies for the bus? Thanks, you’re the best. Jeff: I have the eggs covered? Tristan’s Dad: He gets his sense of humor from you. Tristan’s Mom: Flattery will get you everywhere. How would you like your eggs prepared dear?”",
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                        "text": "“Humor won’t save you; it doesn’t really do anything at all. You can look at life ironically for years, maybe decades; there are people who seem to go through most of their lives seeing the funny side, but in the end, life always breaks your heart. Doesn’t matter how brave you are, or how reserved, or how much you’ve developed a sense of humor, you still end up with your heart broken. That’s when you stop laughing. In the end there’s just the cold, the silence and the loneliness. In the end there’s only death.”",
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                        "text": "“Megan noisily sucked in air for a scream that froze in her lungs. The cat stood in front of the open fire escape window, tail twitching, eyes focused intently on her face. Cursing inwardly at the stupidity of leaving the window open even a little bit, she made a mental note to never do it again…if she lived. The sheer size of the body under that sleek black coat was breathtaking, not to mention the power evident in those muscles. Megan whimpered as she caught sight of the sharp claws just visible on its feet. “Holy crap, someone up there has a really sick sense of humor. When I said I should get a cat, this is not what I meant!” she whispered. The cat snorted and her heart lodged in her throat.”",
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                        "text": "“Like the old twistor theorists, the few followers Connes has acquired are committed. For a conference at Penn State University on different approaches to quantum gravity, Alain recommended a famous elder French physicist named Daniel Kastler. The gentleman broke his leg in a bicycle accident a week before the conference, but he clambered out of the hospital and got himself to the Marseille airport, arriving just in time to open the proceedings with the following proclamation: \"There is one true Alain, and I am his messenger.\" String theorists aren't the only ones who have their true believers, but the noncommutative geometers surely have a better sense of humor.”",
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                        "text": "“I wanted a boyfriend who was a Christian but who wasn't uptight about it, who was good-looking and intelligent and had an interesting job and a sense of humor, who said \"fuck\" when the situation warranted it, who had attempted to but been unable to finish St. Augustine's City of God, who could argue politics with my mother and talk business with my father, who liked Indian food and had nice friends and knew how to dress and would like someday to live abroad.”",
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