---
title: "Best Sarcasm Quotations"
description: "Browse 1,265 Sarcasm quotes by 760 authors. Discover the best Sarcasm sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee7/richard-rensberry-79228_humor_i-no-longer-wonder-how-far-idiocy-can-go_692134.jpg"
---

> [“I no longer wonder how far idiocy can go. It is infinite.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-rensberry/i-no-longer-wonder-how-far-idiocy-can-go-it-is-infinite/)

[Richard Rensberry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-rensberry/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee7/richard-rensberry-79228_humor_i-no-longer-wonder-how-far-idiocy-can-go_692134.jpg)

> [I am allergic to stupidity, so I break out in sarcasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-am-allergic-to-stupidity-so-i-break-out-in-sarcasm/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/062/anonymous-1_allergic_i-am-allergic-to-stupidity-so-i-break-ou_533619.jpg)

> [ \[on pop idol Donny Osmond\] He has Van Gogh's ear for music. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/billy-wilder/on-pop-idol-donny-osmond-he-has-van-gogh-s-ear-for-music/)

[Billy Wilder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/billy-wilder/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b72/billy-wilder-8818_classic_on-pop-idol-donny-osmond-he-has-van-gogh_1516303.jpg)

> [Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sarcasm-is-just-one-more-service-we-offer/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8a/anonymous-1_bad-mood_sarcasm-is-just-one-more-service-we-offe_2292590.jpg)

> [It's a plastic surgeon you need, not a doctor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-cleese/it-s-a-plastic-surgeon-you-need-not-a-doctor/)

[John Cleese](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-cleese/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56e/john-cleese-1768_doctors_it-s-a-plastic-surgeon-you-need-not-a-do_1140120.jpg)

> [Don't like my sarcasm ? Well I don't like your stupidity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/don-t-like-my-sarcasm-well-i-don-t-like-your-stupidity/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/798/anonymous-1_funny_don-t-like-my-sarcasm-well-i-don-t-like_855787.jpg)

> [Is it Armageddon yet or did I miss it?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rock-cowles/is-it-armageddon-yet-or-did-i-miss-it/)

[Rock Cowles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rock-cowles/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/086/rock-cowles-2590_armageddon_is-it-armageddon-yet-or-did-i-miss-it-29_2951659.jpg)

> [Automatic simply means that you can?t repair it yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-capra/automatic-simply-means-that-you-can-t-repair-it-yourself/)

[Frank Capra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-capra/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/65d/frank-capra-12640_automatic_automatic-simply-means-that-you-can-t-re_2446460.jpg)

> [If you want to argue with me, BRING IT. I GOT MY CAPS LOCK ON.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-angelo-de-leon/if-you-want-to-argue-with-me-bring-it-i-got-my-caps-lock-on/)

[Michael Angelo De Leon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-angelo-de-leon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f3b/michael-angelo-de-leon-17789_sarcasm_if-you-want-to-argue-with-me-bring-it-i_1891801.jpg)

> [“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/sarcasm-is-the-lowest-form-of-wit-but-the-highest-form-of-intelligence/)

[Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/824/oscar-wilde-16_intelligence_sarcasm-is-the-lowest-form-of-wit-but-th_392501.jpg)

> [Great,' I said. 'Visit exotic Australia. Get bitten by an exotic snake. Die exotically.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-gould/great-i-said-visit-exotic-australia-get-bitten-by-an-exotic-snake-die/)

[Steven Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bcb/steven-gould-25772_australia_great-i-said-visit-exotic-australia-get_1419771.jpg)

> [I'm going to eat something I found on the ground ... and when I do, I'm going to say Yum Yum!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/higher-grounds/i-m-going-to-eat-something-i-found-on-the-ground-and-when-i-do-i-m/)

[Higher Grounds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/higher-grounds/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd6/higher-grounds-39598_funny_i-m-going-to-eat-something-i-found-on-th_1143918.jpg)

> [I want either less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashleigh-brilliant/i-want-either-less-corruption-or-more-chance-to-participate-in-it/)

[Ashleigh Brilliant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashleigh-brilliant/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/083/ashleigh-brilliant-944_chance_i-want-either-less-corruption-or-more-ch_964792.png)

> [“Hey,you might be able to take away my magical powers, but the power of sarcasm was still at my disposal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-hawkins/hey-you-might-be-able-to-take-away-my-magical-powers-but-the-power-of/)

[Rachel Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-hawkins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/808/rachel-hawkins-379_magical_hey-you-might-be-able-to-take-away-my-ma_2569720.jpg)

> [You would have to be born with a gene that doesn't allow you to recognize sarcasm if you take anything I say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/forrest-griffin/you-would-have-to-be-born-with-a-gene-that-doesn-t-allow-you-to/)

[Forrest Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/forrest-griffin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/60c/forrest-griffin-4040_anything_you-would-have-to-be-born-with-a-gene-th_1846862.jpg)

> [“There’s been a lot written on the topic of minimalism. But I still believe in it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-lilly/there-s-been-a-lot-written-on-the-topic-of-minimalism-but-i-still/)

[Ryan Lilly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-lilly/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/284/ryan-lilly-9302_humor_there-s-been-a-lot-written-on-the-topic_214669.jpg)

> [I was aware of a lot of my friends being into things I wasn't into. Like sarcasm. It had never been a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-bush/i-was-aware-of-a-lot-of-my-friends-being-into-things-i-wasn-t-into/)

[Kate Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-bush/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/025/kate-bush-1547_aware_i-was-aware-of-a-lot-of-my-friends-being_2138074.jpg)

> [“Ah, Proph." Tom paused. "You did have a nightmare last night." "And here I thought maybe I dreamed it," Prophet muttered sarcastically.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-e-jakes/ah-proph-tom-paused-you-did-have-a-nightmare-last-night-and-here-i/)

[S.E. Jakes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-e-jakes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/332/s-e-jakes-9172_dreamed_ah-proph-tom-paused-you-did-have-a-night_2684559.jpg)

> [That's the difference between irony and sarcasm. Irony can be spontaneous, while sarcasm requires volition. You have to create sarcasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/that-s-the-difference-between-irony-and-sarcasm-irony-can-be/)

[Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2df/christopher-moore-353_be-spontaneous_that-s-the-difference-between-irony-and_1806325.png)

> [Lady Astor: If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. Winston Churchill: Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/psyche-zeroh/lady-astor-if-you-were-my-husband-i-d-poison-your-tea-winston/)

[Psyche\_Zeroh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/psyche-zeroh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e9/psyche-zeroh-31967_attitude_lady-astor-if-you-were-my-husband-i-d-po_2850355.jpg)

> [“How does knowing 'things could be worse' than what I already deem awful make me feel any better? You mean I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-e-goodrich/how-does-knowing-things-could-be-worse-than-what-i-already-deem-awful/)

[Richelle E. Goodrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-e-goodrich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d11/richelle-e-goodrich-180_encouragement_how-does-knowing-things-could-be-worse-t_2731200.jpg)

> [By rights, satire is a lonely and introspective occupation, for nobody can describe a fool to the life without much patient self-inspection.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-moore-colby/by-rights-satire-is-a-lonely-and-introspective-occupation-for-nobody/)

[Frank Moore Colby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-moore-colby/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9d/frank-moore-colby-16494_fool_by-rights-satire-is-a-lonely-and-introsp_119672.jpg)

> [“Are you really left-handed?” Mr. Marshall asked. “No. I’ve just been pretending to use my left hand my entire life because I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/courtney-milan-the-suffragette-scandal/are-you-really-left-handed-mr-marshall-asked-no-i-ve-just-been/)

[Courtney Milan - The Suffragette Scandal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/courtney-milan-the-suffragette-scandal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/009/courtney-milan-the-suffragette_entire-life_are-you-really-left-handed-mr-marshall-a_2264024.jpg)

> [“That was Hunter,' said Quinn as his father's footsteps faded away. 'I figured. Since he said to call him Hunter and everything.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-sturman/that-was-hunter-said-quinn-as-his-father-s-footsteps-faded-away-i/)

[Jennifer Sturman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-sturman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/54a/jennifer-sturman-47269_parenting_that-was-hunter-said-quinn-as-his-father_2700596.jpg)

> [“When she saw me, my mother stood up and started to come toward me, but then stopped. I think maybe Cat Poop…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-thomas-ford/when-she-saw-me-my-mother-stood-up-and-started-to-come-toward-me-but/)

[Michael Thomas Ford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-thomas-ford/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dfc/michael-thomas-ford-7867_humor_when-she-saw-me-my-mother-stood-up-and-s_615216.jpg)

> [Don't you have class today? (Kyrian) Boy, I'm a backwoods Cajun, I ain't never got no class, cher. (Nick) (He cleared his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/don-t-you-have-class-today-kyrian-boy-i-m-a-backwoods-cajun-i-ain-t/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cc3/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_accents_don-t-you-have-class-today-kyrian-boy-i_91883.jpg)

> [“It was a very proper wedding. The bride was elegantly dressed---the two bridemaids were duly inferior---her father gave her away---her mother stood…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/it-was-a-very-proper-wedding-the-bride-was-elegantly-dressed-the-two/)

[Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/370/jane-austen-39_marriage_it-was-a-very-proper-wedding-the-bride-w_877358.jpg)

> [“Yes—I think you’re correct,” he nodded as he returned. “It isn’t saying much, sergeant, but you’re not quite the fool you look.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-jefferson-farjeon/yes-i-think-you-re-correct-he-nodded-as-he-returned-it-isn-t-saying/)

[J. Jefferson Farjeon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-jefferson-farjeon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f2/j-jefferson-farjeon-77213_compliments_yes-i-think-you-re-correct-he-nodded-as_1836047.jpg)

> [“What I really needed wasn't a dose of school spirit; it was a glass of water, an aspirin the size of my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-lynn-barnes/what-i-really-needed-wasn-t-a-dose-of-school-spirit-it-was-a-glass-of/)

[Jennifer Lynn Barnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-lynn-barnes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e2d/jennifer-lynn-barnes-2448_dreaming_what-i-really-needed-wasn-t-a-dose-of-sc_425381.jpg)

> [“Ah, the ancient language of sarcasm. How it suits you." "Why thank you, petal. It is one of my many talents, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-morgan/ah-the-ancient-language-of-sarcasm-how-it-suits-you-why-thank-you/)

[Elizabeth Morgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-morgan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ef/elizabeth-morgan-15827_elizabeth-morgan_ah-the-ancient-language-of-sarcasm-how-i_108228.jpg)

> [“Alessa looked at Brennus giving him a smirk. “Brennus.” “Alessa.” “Still think that you are the God’s gift to all faeries?” “Still…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-c-morin/alessa-looked-at-brennus-giving-him-a-smirk-brennus-alessa-still/)

[B.C. Morin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-c-morin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/626/b-c-morin-35972_humor_alessa-looked-at-brennus-giving-him-a-sm_774228.jpg)

> [“You know, Mac,”Cadmus said still looking out the window. “We may have to work on the way we tell our story …apparently…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sulari-gentill/you-know-mac-cadmus-said-still-looking-out-the-window-we-may-have-to/)

[Sulari Gentill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sulari-gentill/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/37e/sulari-gentill-46771_amusing_you-know-mac-cadmus-said-still-looking-o_2116512.jpg)

> [“The only stirrups I like are on a saddle.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-lynn-hope/the-only-stirrups-i-like-are-on-a-saddle/)

[Donna Lynn Hope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-lynn-hope/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d9/donna-lynn-hope-1623_like_the-only-stirrups-i-like-are-on-a-saddle_2668654.jpg)

> [The most unorganized place is the woman's bag.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-elba/the-most-unorganized-place-is-the-woman-s-bag/)

[Charles Elba](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-elba/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d1c/charles-elba-38665_best_the-most-unorganized-place-is-the-woman_1797951.jpg)

> [“National Sarcasm Society: Like We Need Your Support.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-lewis/national-sarcasm-society-like-we-need-your-support/)

[Michael Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-lewis/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fc4/michael-lewis-705_sarcasm_national-sarcasm-society-like-we-need-yo_182957.png)

> [Be yourself they said. you'll make lots of friends. -\_-](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/be-yourself-they-said-you-ll-make-lots-of-friends/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d4a/anonymous-1_bad-friends_be-yourself-they-said-you-ll-make-lots-o_2080838.jpg)

> [Please,here's your nose. I found it in my business again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/please-here-s-your-nose-i-found-it-in-my-business-again/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5f9/anonymous-1_business_please-here-s-your-nose-i-found-it-in-my_1713387.jpg)

> [You know what they say about men with big feet...big socks.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mario-tomasello/you-know-what-they-say-about-men-with-big-feet-big-socks/)

[Mario Tomasello](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mario-tomasello/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b13/mario-tomasello-4744_clever-facebook-stat_you-know-what-they-say-about-men-with-bi_819035.jpg)

> [I have some sarcastic sides of me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eden-sher/i-have-some-sarcastic-sides-of-me/)

[Eden Sher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eden-sher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecb/eden-sher-22845_me_i-have-some-sarcastic-sides-of-me-319248_3192484.jpg)

> [You have delighted us long enough.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/you-have-delighted-us-long-enough/)

[Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c76/jane-austen-39_enough_you-have-delighted-us-long-enough-143647_1436473.jpg)

## Top authors on Sarcasm

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- [Nenia Campbell 20 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nenia-campbell/)
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- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-sherrilyn-kenyon-84925.jpg) Sherrilyn Kenyon 11 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/sherrilyn-kenyon/)
- [Mark Twain 11 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/mark-twain/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b002/author-rakii-retondo-7522.jpg) Rakii Retondo 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/rakii-retondo/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-nikhil-saluja-71464.jpg) Nikhil Saluja 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nikhil-saluja/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/terry-pratchett/)
- [SouL 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/soul/)

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                        "text": "Great,' I said. 'Visit exotic Australia. Get bitten by an exotic snake. Die exotically.",
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                        "text": "I'm going to eat something I found on the ground ... and when I do, I'm going to say Yum Yum!",
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                        "text": "“Ah, Proph.\" Tom paused. \"You did have a nightmare last night.\" \"And here I thought maybe I dreamed it,\" Prophet muttered sarcastically.”",
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                        "text": "Lady Astor: If you were my husband, I'd poison your tea. Winston Churchill: Madam, if I were your husband, I'd drink it!",
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                        "text": "“Are you really left-handed?” Mr. Marshall asked. “No. I’ve just been pretending to use my left hand my entire life because I enjoy never being able to work scissors properly.”",
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                        "text": "“That was Hunter,' said Quinn as his father's footsteps faded away. 'I figured. Since he said to call him Hunter and everything.”",
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                        "text": "“When she saw me, my mother stood up and started to come toward me, but then stopped. I think maybe Cat Poop had told her not to make any sudden movements because they might scare me, like I’m a wild animal or something, because she kept looking at him and then at me. Finally she just said, “Hello, Jeff,” and sat down again next to my father.”",
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                        "text": "Don't you have class today? (Kyrian) Boy, I'm a backwoods Cajun, I ain't never got no class, cher. (Nick) (He cleared his throat and dropped the thick Cajun accent.) And no, today's registration. I've got to figure out what I'm taking next semester. (Nick) I have a few things I need you to do today. (Kyrian) And that is different from any other day how? (Nick) Sarcasm, thy name is Nick Gautier. (Kyrian)",
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                        "text": "“Yes—I think you’re correct,” he nodded as he returned. “It isn’t saying much, sergeant, but you’re not quite the fool you look.” “Very kind of you to say so,” grunted the sergeant. “Not at all. Haven’t you noticed how full of compliments I am?”",
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                        "text": "“What I really needed wasn't a dose of school spirit; it was a glass of water, an aspirin the size of my fist, and the answers to the history exam that I hadn't studied for the night before. \"As long as I'm dreaming,\" I muttered, my words lost to the cacophony of the gym, \"I'd also like a pony, a convertible, and a couple of friends.\" \"That's a tall order.\" I'd known that there were people sitting next to me, but I couldn't begin to imagine how one of them had heard me. I hadn't even heard me. \"Would you settle for a piece of gum, an orange Tic Tac, and an introduction the the school slut?”",
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                        "text": "“Ah, the ancient language of sarcasm. How it suits you.\" \"Why thank you, petal. It is one of my many talents, and I happen to be fluent in the language.\" I dazzled him with my smile. \"You need to give me a manly nickname.\" \"You haven't given me any reason to give you one yet.\" \"That's harsh.”",
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                        "text": "“Alessa looked at Brennus giving him a smirk. “Brennus.” “Alessa.” “Still think that you are the God’s gift to all faeries?” “Still trying to convince yourself that I am not?” Brennus responded smirking arrogantly and leaning back in his chair.”",
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                        "text": "“You know, Mac,”Cadmus said still looking out the window. “We may have to work on the way we tell our story …apparently it’s not amusing enough.” “I’ll try to include a joke between ‘he bled to death’and ‘the city burned’.”Machaon responded tersely.”",
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                        "text": "“The only stirrups I like are on a saddle.”",
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