---
title: "Great Sarcasm Quotations"
description: "Browse 1,265 Sarcasm quotes by 760 authors. Discover the best Sarcasm sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8a/molly-harper-2053_apology_does-hallmark-make-a-sorry-i-tried-to-dr_1963829.png"
---

> [“Does Hallmark make a “Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner” card? I settled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/molly-harper/does-hallmark-make-a-sorry-i-tried-to-drink-your-blood-and-touched/)

[Molly Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/molly-harper/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8a/molly-harper-2053_apology_does-hallmark-make-a-sorry-i-tried-to-dr_1963829.png)

> [“Oh, adjust yourself. You people have spent ten millennia playing at soldiers while becoming ever more dedicated civilians. We've spent the last…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iain-m-banks/oh-adjust-yourself-you-people-have-spent-ten-millennia-playing-at/)

[Iain M. Banks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iain-m-banks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/381/iain-m-banks-3729_sarcasm_oh-adjust-yourself-you-people-have-spent_2275537.jpg)

> [“I nee to reason for a plague, ... As far as I know no comets or eclipses have been forecast, and our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabriel-garc-a-m-rquez/i-nee-to-reason-for-a-plague-as-far-as-i-know-no-comets-or-eclipses/)

[Gabriel García Márquez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabriel-garc-a-m-rquez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a15/gabriel-garc-a-m-rquez-116_forecast_i-nee-to-reason-for-a-plague-as-far-as-i_874549.jpg)

> [“The mage pulled my knife out of his side and looked at it. “Nice knife.” The voice was deep but female. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/the-mage-pulled-my-knife-out-of-his-side-and-looked-at-it-nice-knife/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/442/ilona-andrews-150_comebacks_the-mage-pulled-my-knife-out-of-his-side_2460791.png)

> [Today's forecast; severe attitude warnings possible throughout the day, scattered sarcasm showers, and a strong chance of annoyance later in the day...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/today-s-forecast-severe-attitude-warnings-possible-throughout-the-day/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a8/anonymous-1_attitude_today-s-forecast-severe-attitude-warning_513860.jpg)

> [Do you want to make money from Facebook? It's easy. Just go to your Account Setting, Deactivate your account, and Go To…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/do-you-want-to-make-money-from-facebook-it-s-easy-just-go-to-your/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b06/anonymous-1_funny-facebook-statu_do-you-want-to-make-money-from-facebook_2090733.jpg)

> [“Miss Prendregast!” He rapped on his desk with his knuckles. “You were never in any danger!” “Except from the wild animals.” His…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-dodd/miss-prendregast-he-rapped-on-his-desk-with-his-knuckles-you-were/)

[Christina Dodd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-dodd/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e6e/christina-dodd-9745_danger_miss-prendregast-he-rapped-on-his-desk-w_2872695.jpg)

> [The writer who neglects punctuation, or mispunctuates, is liable to be misunderstood for the want of merely a comma, it often occurs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edgar-allan-poe/the-writer-who-neglects-punctuation-or-mispunctuates-is-liable-to-be/)

[Edgar Allan Poe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edgar-allan-poe/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd5/edgar-allan-poe-315_axioms_the-writer-who-neglects-punctuation-or-m_1967442.jpg)

> [I'm sarcastic & I have a smart a\* attitude! It's a natural defense against drama, bullshit and stupidity, and I don't give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-m-sarcastic-i-have-a-smart-a-attitude-it-s-a-natural-defense/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e6/anonymous-1_attitude_i-m-sarcastic-i-have-a-smart-a-attitude_2739776.jpg)

> [“That's the spirit! Make it chicken broth or nothing. That's putting the old foot down. If she's determined to have a nervous…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger-2/that-s-the-spirit-make-it-chicken-broth-or-nothing-that-s-putting-the/)

[J. D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger-2/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e41/j-d-salinger-2-3505_breakdown_that-s-the-spirit-make-it-chicken-broth_2354626.jpg)

> [“I think one of the problems in this country is that too many people are screwing things up, committing crimes and then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/i-think-one-of-the-problems-in-this-country-is-that-too-many-people/)

[George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/411/george-carlin-155_funny_i-think-one-of-the-problems-in-this-coun_1174184.jpg)

> [“I don't know what it is about "magic happens"-stickers on cars but every time I see one I wanna get out my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-minchin/i-don-t-know-what-it-is-about-magic-happens-stickers-on-cars-but/)

[Tim Minchin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-minchin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd2/tim-minchin-3287_black-humor_i-don-t-know-what-it-is-about-magic-happ_2435373.jpg)

> [“Ah, well, when you explain it like that, it seems obvious," said Mudge. "Of course, it always seems obvious once it's been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/theodora-goss/ah-well-when-you-explain-it-like-that-it-seems-obvious-said-mudge-of/)

[Theodora Goss](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/theodora-goss/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/212/theodora-goss-10051_explanation_ah-well-when-you-explain-it-like-that-it_1832590.png)

> [Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-carlyle/sarcasm-i-now-see-to-be-in-general-the-language-of-the-devil-for/)

[Thomas Carlyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-carlyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99c/thomas-carlyle-207_devil_sarcasm-i-now-see-to-be-in-general-the-l_1235999.png)

> [Nothing sharpens the arrow of sarcasm so keenly as the courtesy that polishes it; no reproach is like that we clothe with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lord-chesterfield/nothing-sharpens-the-arrow-of-sarcasm-so-keenly-as-the-courtesy-that/)

[Lord Chesterfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lord-chesterfield/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/247/lord-chesterfield-757_arrows_nothing-sharpens-the-arrow-of-sarcasm-so_2646029.jpg)

> [“Note to self: Caymen is very good at sarcasm.” “If you’re recording notes for an official record, I’d like the word ‘very’…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kasie-west/note-to-self-caymen-is-very-good-at-sarcasm-if-you-re-recording-notes/)

[Kasie West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kasie-west/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b4/kasie-west-6795_note-to-self_note-to-self-caymen-is-very-good-at-sarc_1304199.jpg)

> [“Pretending will only make us anxious and encourages us to make friends with a reason, then depending with lies, thereafter we will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ikke-achmad/pretending-will-only-make-us-anxious-and-encourages-us-to-make/)

[ikke achmad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ikke-achmad/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/65d/ikke-achmad-36575_friendship_pretending-will-only-make-us-anxious-and_350123.jpg)

> [“You're just Little Miss Optimist, aren't you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-caine/you-re-just-little-miss-optimist-aren-t-you-do-you-come-with/)

[Rachel Caine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-caine/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7b2/rachel-caine-217_eve-rosser_you-re-just-little-miss-optimist-aren-t_1988547.jpg)

> [“Did you think he was just some lazy pure-blood who needed protection?” His voice dripped sarcasm. “Well he looks like one! How…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-l-armentrout/did-you-think-he-was-just-some-lazy-pure-blood-who-needed-protection/)

[Jennifer L. Armentrout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-l-armentrout/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/946/jennifer-l-armentrout-96_sarcasm_did-you-think-he-was-just-some-lazy-pure_3077313.jpg)

> [“While Daniel disappeared into his room, probably to limn the contours of some exquisite constellation of philosophical nonsense for his internship applications…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-hodkin/while-daniel-disappeared-into-his-room-probably-to-limn-the-contours/)

[Michelle Hodkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-hodkin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/379/michelle-hodkin-917_mind_while-daniel-disappeared-into-his-room-p_2134393.png)

> [“This is where you all live?" Asked John as they ascended the stairs. "It's small." "This is just our Thanksgiving house," Scott…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-rex/this-is-where-you-all-live-asked-john-as-they-ascended-the-stairs-it/)

[Adam Rex](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-rex/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/88c/adam-rex-8777_every-day_this-is-where-you-all-live-asked-john-as_3062292.png)

> [Alright, you'll get your bonus, buy play nice with her. Keep your sarcasm to a minimum. (Kyrian) Yes, O Great Lord and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/alright-you-ll-get-your-bonus-buy-play-nice-with-her-keep-your/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f82/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_alright_alright-you-ll-get-your-bonus-buy-play-n_1219064.jpg)

> [“I do.” He was clearly amused by my disdain. “We have only been speaking for two minutes, Paige. Try not to waste…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samantha-shannon/i-do-he-was-clearly-amused-by-my-disdain-we-have-only-been-speaking/)

[Samantha Shannon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samantha-shannon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aff/samantha-shannon-10091_sarcastic-humor_i-do-he-was-clearly-amused-by-my-disdain_1007647.jpg)

> [Don't you hate it when your lying in bed with your eyes closed and someone says your name and you say what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harriet-morgan/don-t-you-hate-it-when-your-lying-in-bed-with-your-eyes-closed-and/)

[Harriet Morgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harriet-morgan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1c/harriet-morgan-9185_funny_don-t-you-hate-it-when-your-lying-in-bed_2732156.jpg)

> [“Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?" "Yes, I met…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/molly-harper/most-of-the-people-you-read-about-being-turned-meet-vamps-in-clubs-or/)

[Molly Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/molly-harper/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d3c/molly-harper-2053_evil-love_most-of-the-people-you-read-about-being_1186197.png)

> [“Hhhmm. A sense of humor.” He cocked his head to the side. “That actually might annoy me.” She frowned, ignoring the teasing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/g-a-aiken/hhhmm-a-sense-of-humor-he-cocked-his-head-to-the-side-that-actually/)

[G.A. Aiken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/g-a-aiken/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/74b/g-a-aiken-1894_briec_hhhmm-a-sense-of-humor-he-cocked-his-hea_3129335.jpg)

> [Any game plan? Xypher asked Sin. Don't die. I like it. Simple, bold. Impossible. Works for me. Kat scoffed at his sarcasm.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/any-game-plan-xypher-asked-sin-don-t-die-i-like-it-simple-bold/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e99/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_game-plan_any-game-plan-xypher-asked-sin-don-t-die_1647756.jpg)

> [“What do you do when you’re in a room of vampires and the most dangerous one tells you that you know too…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tijan/what-do-you-do-when-you-re-in-a-room-of-vampires-and-the-most/)

[Tijan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tijan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e95/tijan-3487_funny_what-do-you-do-when-you-re-in-a-room-of_689349.jpg)

> [“What am I doing here? The Southern Star has vanished, a Cataclyst is calling the moon out of time at the mythical…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kami-garcia/what-am-i-doing-here-the-southern-star-has-vanished-a-cataclyst-is/)

[Kami Garcia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kami-garcia/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19d/kami-garcia-543_beautiful-darkness_what-am-i-doing-here-the-southern-star-h_2577732.png)

> [The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/the-lead-singer-of-creed-says-he-won-t-endorse-president-obama-well/)

[Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23d/stephen-colbert-503_creed_the-lead-singer-of-creed-says-he-won-t-e_2826365.png)

> [A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/a-banker-is-a-fellow-who-lends-you-his-umbrella-when-the-sun-is-2/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8a9/mark-twain-22_banker_a-banker-is-a-fellow-who-lends-you-his-u_863331.jpg)

> [My job is not to talk smack about anything. This is why I dislike strongly doing magazine articles: My personality does not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sandra-bullock/my-job-is-not-to-talk-smack-about-anything-this-is-why-i-dislike/)

[Sandra Bullock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sandra-bullock/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/201/sandra-bullock-985_articles_my-job-is-not-to-talk-smack-about-anythi_1942229.jpg)

> [I always had to rely on humor and sarcasm. And when I started having kids, that doesn't work with kids. Kids don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-fuller/i-always-had-to-rely-on-humor-and-sarcasm-and-when-i-started-having/)

[Kurt Fuller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-fuller/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/390/kurt-fuller-12139_having-kids_i-always-had-to-rely-on-humor-and-sarcas_2237523.jpg)

> [“You’ve missed a lot of things. But mostly I think you’ve missed several opportunities to leave. Let me assist you to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/victoria-laurie/you-ve-missed-a-lot-of-things-but-mostly-i-think-you-ve-missed/)

[Victoria Laurie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/victoria-laurie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5c4/victoria-laurie-21029_leave_you-ve-missed-a-lot-of-things-but-mostly_1392433.jpg)

> [I am engaged in answering that Italian buffoon, Mazotti, whose views upon the larval development of the tropical termites have excited my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/i-am-engaged-in-answering-that-italian-buffoon-mazotti-whose-views/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/391/arthur-conan-doyle-273_buffoons_i-am-engaged-in-answering-that-italian-b_2458274.jpg)

> [One of the simple but genuine pleasures in life is getting up in the morning and hurrying to a mousetrap you set…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kin-hubbard/one-of-the-simple-but-genuine-pleasures-in-life-is-getting-up-in-the/)

[Kin Hubbard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kin-hubbard/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9bc/kin-hubbard-2076_cute_one-of-the-simple-but-genuine-pleasures_968037.png)

> [“If I have been more backward in seeking her society, it is because I do not like her, and my acquaintance amongst…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-harriet-burney/if-i-have-been-more-backward-in-seeking-her-society-it-is-because-i/)

[Sarah Harriet Burney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-harriet-burney/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e75/sarah-harriet-burney-276323_acquaintances_if-i-have-been-more-backward-in-seeking_1429192.jpg)

> [“Sam glanced at him. "Feeling sorry for yourself, are you? I suppose you're allowed. I mean, look at how bloody awful your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kady-cross/sam-glanced-at-him-feeling-sorry-for-yourself-are-you-i-suppose-you/)

[Kady Cross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kady-cross/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c61/kady-cross-8495_feeling-sorry_sam-glanced-at-him-feeling-sorry-for-you_1700205.jpg)

> [“I'm capable—" "Three hours after we met, you sold yourself into slavery and then died." Well, yes, it sounded bad when he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilona-andrews/i-m-capable-three-hours-after-we-met-you-sold-yourself-into-slavery/)

[Ilona Andrews](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilona-andrews/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/344/ilona-andrews-150_fantasy_i-m-capable-three-hours-after-we-met-you_1502815.png)

> [It wasn't sarcasm." Graves blew out a cloud of acrid smoke. "It was pointing out a fallacy in your logic, babe." Anna's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lilith-saintcrow/it-wasn-t-sarcasm-graves-blew-out-a-cloud-of-acrid-smoke-it-was/)

[Lilith Saintcrow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lilith-saintcrow/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/86b/lilith-saintcrow-3480_anna_it-wasn-t-sarcasm-graves-blew-out-a-clou_744605.png)

## Top authors on Sarcasm

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b004/author-arthur-conan-doyle-14897.jpg) Arthur Conan Doyle 30 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/arthur-conan-doyle/)
- [Nenia Campbell 20 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nenia-campbell/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-cassandra-clare-21529.jpg) Cassandra Clare 17 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/cassandra-clare/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b008/author-psyche-zeroh-31967.jpg) Psyche\_Zeroh 14 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/psyche-zeroh/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b003/author-syoung-8345.jpg) Syoung 13 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/syoung/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-ljupka-cvetanova-3477.jpg) Ljupka Cvetanova 13 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/ljupka-cvetanova/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-sherrilyn-kenyon-84925.jpg) Sherrilyn Kenyon 11 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/sherrilyn-kenyon/)
- [Mark Twain 11 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/mark-twain/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b002/author-rakii-retondo-7522.jpg) Rakii Retondo 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/rakii-retondo/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-nikhil-saluja-71464.jpg) Nikhil Saluja 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nikhil-saluja/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/terry-pratchett/)
- [SouL 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/soul/)

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                        "text": "“Does Hallmark make a “Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner” card? I settled for “How much do you remember?”",
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                        "text": "“Oh, adjust yourself. You people have spent ten millennia playing at soldiers while becoming ever more dedicated civilians. We've spent the last thousand years trying hard to stay civilian while refining the legacy of a won galactic war.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I nee to reason for a plague, ... As far as I know no comets or eclipses have been forecast, and our sins are not great enough for God to be concerned with us.”",
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                        "text": "“The mage pulled my knife out of his side and looked at it. “Nice knife.” The voice was deep but female. I threw my second knife. The blade bit into the mage’s chest. Shit. Missed the neck. “Here, have another one.”",
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                        "text": "Today's forecast; severe attitude warnings possible throughout the day, scattered sarcasm showers, and a strong chance of annoyance later in the day...",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Do you want to make money from Facebook? It's easy. Just go to your Account Setting, Deactivate your account, and Go To Work!",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Anonymous"
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                        "text": "“Miss Prendregast!” He rapped on his desk with his knuckles. “You were never in any danger!” “Except from the wild animals.” His lids swept down as if he needed a reprieve from looking at her. “Alert me if you’re attacked by a rabbit.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The writer who neglects punctuation, or mispunctuates, is liable to be misunderstood for the want of merely a comma, it often occurs that an axiom appears a paradox, or that a sarcasm is converted into a sermonoid.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I'm sarcastic & I have a smart a* attitude! It's a natural defense against drama, bullshit and stupidity, and I don't give a f** if you're offended!!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“That's the spirit! Make it chicken broth or nothing. That's putting the old foot down. If she's determined to have a nervous breakdown, the least we can do is see that she doesn't have it in peace.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I think one of the problems in this country is that too many people are screwing things up, committing crimes and then getting on with their lives. What is really needed for public officials who shame themselves is ritual suicide.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I don't know what it is about \"magic happens\"-stickers on cars but every time I see one I wanna get out my permanent marker and sneak over and write underneath it \"so does cot death\".”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Ah, well, when you explain it like that, it seems obvious,\" said Mudge. \"Of course, it always seems obvious once it's been explained.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Sarcasm I now see to be, in general, the language of the devil; for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Nothing sharpens the arrow of sarcasm so keenly as the courtesy that polishes it; no reproach is like that we clothe with a smile and present with a bow.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Note to self: Caymen is very good at sarcasm.” “If you’re recording notes for an official record, I’d like the word ‘very’ stricken and replaced with ‘exceptionally.”",
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                        "text": "“You're just Little Miss Optimist, aren't you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too?”",
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                        "text": "“Did you think he was just some lazy pure-blood who needed protection?” His voice dripped sarcasm. “Well he looks like one! How was I supposed to know he was secretly Rambo in Dockers?”",
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                        "text": "“While Daniel disappeared into his room, probably to limn the contours of some exquisite constellation of philosophical nonsense for his internship applications and gasp in the throes of his overachieving OCDness.”",
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                        "text": "“This is where you all live?\" Asked John as they ascended the stairs. \"It's small.\" \"This is just our Thanksgiving house,\" Scott muttered. \"We have a house for every day of the year.”",
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                        "text": "Alright, you'll get your bonus, buy play nice with her. Keep your sarcasm to a minimum. (Kyrian) Yes, O Great Lord and Master. Be nice to woman, keep mouth shut. (Nick)",
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                        "text": "“I do.” He was clearly amused by my disdain. “We have only been speaking for two minutes, Paige. Try not to waste all your sarcasm in one breath.”",
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                        "text": "Don't you hate it when your lying in bed with your eyes closed and someone says your name and you say what and then they say are you awake,... no I'm a fucking an illusion, its all in your head that I answered you back wooooooo. '_'",
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                        "text": "“Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?\" \"Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Hhhmm. A sense of humor.” He cocked his head to the side. “That actually might annoy me.” She frowned, ignoring the teasing sound to that oh-so-low voice and, with heavy sarcasm answered, “Oh, well, that’ll keep me up nights.”",
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                        "text": "Any game plan? Xypher asked Sin. Don't die. I like it. Simple, bold. Impossible. Works for me. Kat scoffed at his sarcasm. What are you bitching about, Xypher? You're already dead. He laughed. You know, for once, it's good to be me.",
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                        "text": "“What do you do when you’re in a room of vampires and the most dangerous one tells you that you know too much? You bolt. What did I do? I hyperventilated.”",
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                        "text": "“What am I doing here? The Southern Star has vanished, a Cataclyst is calling the moon out of time at the mythical Great Barrier, and you're asking what I'm doing here? Are you serious?”",
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                        "text": "The lead singer of Creed says he won’t endorse President Obama. Well that settles it -- Obama will not win the 1998 presidential election.",
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                        "text": "My job is not to talk smack about anything. This is why I dislike strongly doing magazine articles: My personality does not translate to print. People don't read it as sarcasm, and it just comes off badly.",
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                        "text": "“You’ve missed a lot of things. But mostly I think you’ve missed several opportunities to leave. Let me assist you to the door so that you won’t miss this next one.”",
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                        "text": "It wasn't sarcasm.\" Graves blew out a cloud of acrid smoke. \"It was pointing out a fallacy in your logic, babe.\" Anna's jaw actually dropped. For a moment, I wasn't sure if I should laugh or push him out of the room. Way to go, Graves.",
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