---
title: "Great Sarcasm Sayings"
description: "Browse 1,265 Sarcasm quotes by 760 authors. Discover the best Sarcasm sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa4/diana-peterfreund-9959_fear_there-are-a-few-things-that-even-sarcasm_2852578.png"
---

> [“There are a few things that even sarcasm can't protect you from.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-peterfreund/there-are-a-few-things-that-even-sarcasm-can-t-protect-you-from/)

[Diana Peterfreund](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diana-peterfreund/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa4/diana-peterfreund-9959_fear_there-are-a-few-things-that-even-sarcasm_2852578.png)

> [“Don't sound so grumpy. Next thing you know you'll be whinning and giving me puppy dog eyes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-marie-bell/don-t-sound-so-grumpy-next-thing-you-know-you-ll-be-whinning-and/)

[Dana Marie Bell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-marie-bell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b0d/dana-marie-bell-17916_grumpy_don-t-sound-so-grumpy-next-thing-you-kno_2260206.jpg)

> [“You've heard of 'don't harsh my mellow'...when I get sarcastic, I like it so well, it's 'don't mellow my harsh'!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dayanara-ryelle/you-ve-heard-of-don-t-harsh-my-mellow-when-i-get-sarcastic-i-like-it/)

[Dayanara Ryelle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dayanara-ryelle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e29/dayanara-ryelle-72768_quote_you-ve-heard-of-don-t-harsh-my-mellow-wh_1901963.jpg)

> [I'll be spending the holidays with my family. Nothing special, just some light bickering and biting sarcasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-romano/i-ll-be-spending-the-holidays-with-my-family-nothing-special-just/)

[Ray Romano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-romano/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3e1/ray-romano-3515_bickering_i-ll-be-spending-the-holidays-with-my-fa_2246456.jpg)

> [If video games make you violent, does monopoly make you a millionaire?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-video-games-make-you-violent-does-monopoly-make-you-a-millionaire/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a9b/anonymous-1_games_if-video-games-make-you-violent-does-mon_2872806.jpg)

> [Sarcastic people tend to be marshmallows underneath the armor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/sarcastic-people-tend-to-be-marshmallows-underneath-the-armor/)

[Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/497/stephen-king-13_armor_sarcastic-people-tend-to-be-marshmallows_1409484.jpg)

> [The National Rifle Association says, 'Guns don't kill people. People do'. But I think the gun helps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-izzard/the-national-rifle-association-says-guns-don-t-kill-people-people-do/)

[Eddie Izzard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eddie-izzard/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bff/eddie-izzard-1732_amendment_the-national-rifle-association-says-guns_273162.jpg)

> [“What is your advice to young writers?” “Drink, fuck and smoke plenty of cigarettes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bukowski/what-is-your-advice-to-young-writers-drink-fuck-and-smoke-plenty-of-2/)

[Charles Bukowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bukowski/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a22/charles-bukowski-73_advice_what-is-your-advice-to-young-writers-dri_2288352.jpg)

> [sarcasm and jokes were often the bottle in which clinical depressives sent out their most plangent screams for someone to care and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-foster-wallace/sarcasm-and-jokes-were-often-the-bottle-in-which-clinical-depressives/)

[David Foster Wallace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-foster-wallace/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72f/david-foster-wallace-161_bottles_sarcasm-and-jokes-were-often-the-bottle_890796.jpg)

> [“So while I can spin my fantasy whenever I wish, I’m afraid you wouldn’t do for me.” Sarcasm dripped from her every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christina-dodd/so-while-i-can-spin-my-fantasy-whenever-i-wish-i-m-afraid-you-wouldn/)

[Christina Dodd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christina-dodd/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58b/christina-dodd-9745_quote_so-while-i-can-spin-my-fantasy-whenever_1697473.jpg)

> [I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/i-have-seen-slower-people-than-i-am-and-more-deliberate-and-even/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/382/mark-twain-22_deliberate_i-have-seen-slower-people-than-i-am-and_2449604.png)

> [“Right. That's twenty-two fifty." "Twenty-two fifty?" We can't hide our exasperation. "Well, yeah - this is a classy joint, you know." "That's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/markus-zusak/right-that-s-twenty-two-fifty-twenty-two-fifty-we-can-t-hide-our/)

[Markus Zusak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/markus-zusak/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e53/markus-zusak-165_classy_right-that-s-twenty-two-fifty-twenty-two_2638736.png)

> [“I’ve been a bad influence on you, Mr. Galloway. Less of the sarcasm, young man. Cynicism doesn’t suit you,” she said. “I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-james/i-ve-been-a-bad-influence-on-you-mr-galloway-less-of-the-sarcasm/)

[Lauren James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-james/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e39/lauren-james-26228_life_i-ve-been-a-bad-influence-on-you-mr-gall_3225217.jpg)

> [“So the reason I was struck again and again was because of my overwhelmingly positive energy. Funny, I'd always thought of myself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-bosworth/so-the-reason-i-was-struck-again-and-again-was-because-of-my/)

[Jennifer Bosworth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-bosworth/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d3/jennifer-bosworth-42104_energy_so-the-reason-i-was-struck-again-and-aga_2988165.jpg)

> [“I admire all my three sons-in-law highly. Wickham, perhaps is my favourite; but I think I shall like your husband quite as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/i-admire-all-my-three-sons-in-law-highly-wickham-perhaps-is-my/)

[Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/296/jane-austen-39_marriage_i-admire-all-my-three-sons-in-law-highly_1923332.jpg)

> [“Where are Haldad my father, and Haldad my brother? If the king of Doriath fears a friendship between Haleth and those who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-r-r-tolkien/where-are-haldad-my-father-and-haldad-my-brother-if-the-king-of/)

[J.R.R. Tolkien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-r-r-tolkien/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4f/j-r-r-tolkien-204_brotherhood_where-are-haldad-my-father-and-haldad-my_1106442.jpg)

> [And yet the motives of women are so inscrutable. You remember the woman at Margate whom I suspected for the same reason.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/and-yet-the-motives-of-women-are-so-inscrutable-you-remember-the/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/99c/arthur-conan-doyle-273_action_and-yet-the-motives-of-women-are-so-insc_938422.jpg)

> [When my wife and I met, I couldn't talk to her - and my defense mechanism is sarcasm. I belittle someone with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-vogel/when-my-wife-and-i-met-i-couldn-t-talk-to-her-and-my-defense/)

[Mike Vogel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-vogel/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/38c/mike-vogel-27354_awe_when-my-wife-and-i-met-i-couldn-t-talk-t_269988.jpg)

> [“The bourbon goes into the recipe, Miss Connor, not into you,” he’d said from directly behind me. He had a way of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jenny-lyn/the-bourbon-goes-into-the-recipe-miss-connor-not-into-you-he-d-said/)

[Jenny Lyn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jenny-lyn/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c0/jenny-lyn-49877_bite_the-bourbon-goes-into-the-recipe-miss-co_104076.jpg)

> [“Thank you so much for the rude know-it-all attitude while also having to look at your ridiculously colored hair and obnoxious facial…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-chapple/thank-you-so-much-for-the-rude-know-it-all-attitude-while-also-having/)

[Heather Chapple](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heather-chapple/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/100/heather-chapple-92845_ex-boyfriends_thank-you-so-much-for-the-rude-know-it-a_118914.jpg)

> [He had never seen a woman doctor before, and his whole conservative soul rose up in revolt at the idea. He could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/he-had-never-seen-a-woman-doctor-before-and-his-whole-conservative/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/046/arthur-conan-doyle-273_biblical_he-had-never-seen-a-woman-doctor-before_3127787.jpg)

> [If you want to know the Correct term for me, I'm a Dark-Hunter." Nick digested that word slowly. "Which means what? You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/if-you-want-to-know-the-correct-term-for-me-i-m-a-dark-hunter-nick/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d63/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_cutting_if-you-want-to-know-the-correct-term-for_2856110.jpg)

> [“What are you doing here?" she asked as she slowed from a jog to a walk and placed her hands on her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kimberly-derting/what-are-you-doing-here-she-asked-as-she-slowed-from-a-jog-to-a-walk/)

[Kimberly Derting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kimberly-derting/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f94/kimberly-derting-2436_quote_what-are-you-doing-here-she-asked-as-she_67055.jpg)

> [When I say 'I'll think about it,' what I really mean is: 'I'll forget about it completely until you bring it up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-i-say-i-ll-think-about-it-what-i-really-mean-is-i-ll-forget/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b82/anonymous-1_facebook-status_when-i-say-i-ll-think-about-it-what-i-re_1129320.jpg)

> [I USE SARCASM AS A FUNNY WAY OF TELLING YOU HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT YOU BITCH!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stenayuca-martinez/i-use-sarcasm-as-a-funny-way-of-telling-you-how-i-really-feel-about/)

[STENAYUCA/MARTINEZ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stenayuca-martinez/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/438/stenayuca-martinez-101743_bitch_i-use-sarcasm-as-a-funny-way-of-telling_2815422.jpg)

> [Sarcasm:Only witty will enjoy it and the Stupid won't get it...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sarcasm-only-witty-will-enjoy-it-and-the-stupid-won-t-get-it/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/68f/anonymous-1_humor_sarcasm-only-witty-will-enjoy-it-and-the_1065304.jpg)

> [“ 'Are you capable of constructing sentences without the use of sarcasm? Occasionally ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashlee-nicole-bye/are-you-capable-of-constructing-sentences-without-the-use-of-sarcasm/)

[Ashlee Nicole Bye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashlee-nicole-bye/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5db/ashlee-nicole-bye-29012_griffin_are-you-capable-of-constructing-sentence_2758133.jpg)

> [I've loved being the sarcastic chick, but I didn't want to be her forever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lizzy-caplan/i-ve-loved-being-the-sarcastic-chick-but-i-didn-t-want-to-be-her/)

[Lizzy Caplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lizzy-caplan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0d3/lizzy-caplan-7868_being_i-ve-loved-being-the-sarcastic-chick-but_1305986.jpg)

> [“His “devoted” is italicized by sarcasm, underlined by hurt.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/his-devoted-is-italicized-by-sarcasm-underlined-by-hurt/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/666/david-levithan-67_sarcasm_his-devoted-is-italicized-by-sarcasm-und_2842367.jpg)

> [Turning off the lights downstairs and running upstairs quickly so no one kills you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/turning-off-the-lights-downstairs-and-running-upstairs-quickly-so-no/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/982/anonymous-1_sarcasm_turning-off-the-lights-downstairs-and-ru_1057442.jpg)

> [Sarcasm strengthens the mind, it also has the ability to improve a person's I.Q.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sarcasm-strengthens-the-mind-it-also-has-the-ability-to-improve-a/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f0c/anonymous-1_facts_sarcasm-strengthens-the-mind-it-also-has_1187887.jpg)

> [“Optimism: That effervescent, blindingly- bright, perky, chipper, twittering quality you want to squash out of annoying people.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-e-goodrich/optimism-that-effervescent-blindingly-bright-perky-chipper-twittering/)

[Richelle E. Goodrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-e-goodrich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e5f/richelle-e-goodrich-180_annoying-people_optimism-that-effervescent-blindingly-br_397036.jpg)

> [“Marcus stepped behind the bar, saying, “Dan sent me over to assist you and learn how to tend the bar.” Doms could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cherise-sinclair/marcus-stepped-behind-the-bar-saying-dan-sent-me-over-to-assist-you/)

[Cherise Sinclair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cherise-sinclair/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3aa/cherise-sinclair-2323_care_marcus-stepped-behind-the-bar-saying-dan_2870919.jpg)

> [“This was met with a long pause. “Are you really left-handed?” Mr. Marshall asked. “No. I’ve just been pretending to use my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/courtney-milan-the-suffragette-scandal/this-was-met-with-a-long-pause-are-you-really-left-handed-mr-marshall/)

[Courtney Milan - The Suffragette Scandal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/courtney-milan-the-suffragette-scandal/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61c/courtney-milan-the-suffragette_entire-life_this-was-met-with-a-long-pause-are-you-r_1629162.jpg)

> [“I didn’t intend it to come out sarcastically, but I guess that’s just where my tone of voice automatically goes these days.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-a-george/i-didn-t-intend-it-to-come-out-sarcastically-but-i-guess-that-s-just/)

[M.A. George](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-a-george/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bc6/m-a-george-15311_paranormal-romance_i-didn-t-intend-it-to-come-out-sarcastic_2209951.jpg)

> [I would love to make a sarcastic film; I am so sarcastic that even my kids are now getting used to my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/farah-khan/i-would-love-to-make-a-sarcastic-film-i-am-so-sarcastic-that-even-my/)

[Farah Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/farah-khan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef7/farah-khan-6293_british_i-would-love-to-make-a-sarcastic-film-i_1869696.jpg)

> [“What if," replied Inspector Fry in the same maddeningly curteous tone, "we were all to construct daisy chains and drape them so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lyndsay-faye/what-if-replied-inspector-fry-in-the-same-maddeningly-curteous-tone/)

[Lyndsay Faye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lyndsay-faye/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd4/lyndsay-faye-21882_humour_what-if-replied-inspector-fry-in-the-sam_2778.jpg)

> [Sarcasm: Because screaming at you about how dumb you are and taking a brick and smacking you across the face with it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sarcasm-because-screaming-at-you-about-how-dumb-you-are-and-taking-a/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0da/anonymous-1_annoyed_sarcasm-because-screaming-at-you-about-h_1419905.jpg)

> [Well, I'm a bacteriologist, you know. I live in a nine-hundred-diameter microscope. I can hardly claim to take serious notice of anything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/well-i-m-a-bacteriologist-you-know-i-live-in-a-nine-hundred-diameter/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f54/arthur-conan-doyle-273_claims_well-i-m-a-bacteriologist-you-know-i-liv_2065261.jpg)

> [“Mmm, being irresistibly likeable is such a trial,' she drawled in an impeccable aristocratic whine. 'One is constantly in demand, but one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-napier/mmm-being-irresistibly-likeable-is-such-a-trial-she-drawled-in-an/)

[Susan Napier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-napier/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/773/susan-napier-45939_sarcasm_mmm-being-irresistibly-likeable-is-such_2174743.jpg)

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                        "text": "sarcasm and jokes were often the bottle in which clinical depressives sent out their most plangent screams for someone to care and help them.",
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                        "text": "I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead.",
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                        "text": "“Right. That's twenty-two fifty.\" \"Twenty-two fifty?\" We can't hide our exasperation. \"Well, yeah - this is a classy joint, you know.\" \"That's obvious - the service is incredible.”",
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                        "text": "“So the reason I was struck again and again was because of my overwhelmingly positive energy. Funny, I'd always thought of myself as a pessimist.”",
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                        "text": "And yet the motives of women are so inscrutable. You remember the woman at Margate whom I suspected for the same reason. No powder on her nose - that proved to be the correct solution. How can you build on such a quicksand? Their most trivial action may mean volumes, or their most extraordinary conduct may depend upon a hairpin or a curling tongs.",
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                        "text": "“The bourbon goes into the recipe, Miss Connor, not into you,” he’d said from directly behind me. He had a way of doing that, catching me in the act. I suppose the number of times I screwed up made me an easy mark. My spine straightened at the scolding, but my mouth did what it knew best. “Well, that’s just a waste of perfectly good bourbon if you ask me.”",
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                        "text": "He had never seen a woman doctor before, and his whole conservative soul rose up in revolt at the idea. He could not recall any biblical injunction that the man should remain ever the doctor and the woman the nurse, and yet he felt as if a blasphemy had been committed.",
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                        "text": "If you want to know the Correct term for me, I'm a Dark-Hunter.\" Nick digested that word slowly. \"Which means what? You hunt darkness?\" \"Yes, Nick. That's exactly what I do. There's just not enough of it.\" Now, there was some sarcasm you could cut with a knife.",
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                        "text": "“What are you doing here?\" she asked as she slowed from a jog to a walk and placed her hands on her hips. It would take her a few minutes to get her breathing back to normal. Longer if he kept smiling at her like that. He shrugged. \"I couldn't sleep. What about you?\" She opted for the obvious and filled her voice with as much sarcasm as she could. \"I live here, actually”",
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                        "text": "When I say 'I'll think about it,' what I really mean is: 'I'll forget about it completely until you bring it up again.'",
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                        "text": "I USE SARCASM AS A FUNNY WAY OF TELLING YOU HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT YOU BITCH!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Turning off the lights downstairs and running upstairs quickly so no one kills you.",
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                        "text": "“What if,\" replied Inspector Fry in the same maddeningly curteous tone, \"we were all to construct daisy chains and drape them so as to shield the words from public view?”",
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