---
title: "Top Sarcasm Words"
description: "Browse 1,265 Sarcasm quotes by 760 authors. Discover the best Sarcasm sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/360/anonymous-1_amusement_to-the-guy-who-created-imaginary-numbers_2870754.jpg"
---

> [To the guy who created imaginary numbers in Math: I hate you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-the-guy-who-created-imaginary-numbers-in-math-i-hate-you/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/360/anonymous-1_amusement_to-the-guy-who-created-imaginary-numbers_2870754.jpg)

> [The less experienced a doctor is, the higher are his notions of professional dignity . . .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/the-less-experienced-a-doctor-is-the-higher-are-his-notions-of/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/54b/arthur-conan-doyle-273_dignity_the-less-experienced-a-doctor-is-the-hig_485331.jpg)

> [To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashleigh-brilliant/to-be-sure-of-hitting-the-target-shoot-first-and-call-whatever-you/)

[Ashleigh Brilliant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashleigh-brilliant/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20f/ashleigh-brilliant-944_democracy_to-be-sure-of-hitting-the-target-shoot-f_2272363.png)

> [Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sarcasm-is-just-one-of-the-many-services-i-offer-to-people-who-ask/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee0/anonymous-1_being-annoyed_sarcasm-is-just-one-of-the-many-services_3027778.jpg)

> [I'm sorry, did the beginning of my sentence inturrupt the middle of yours?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-m-sorry-did-the-beginning-of-my-sentence-inturrupt-the-middle-of/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f8/anonymous-1_comeback_i-m-sorry-did-the-beginning-of-my-senten_1249778.jpg)

> [ “You want a friend in this city? \[Washington, DC.\] Get a dog!” ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harry-s-truman/you-want-a-friend-in-this-city-washington-dc-get-a-dog/)

[Harry S. Truman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harry-s-truman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4e/harry-s-truman-898_animal_you-want-a-friend-in-this-city-washingto_339759.jpg)

> [“Yeah, because you'll really be showing them, won't you. Talk about cutting up your wrists to spite your fate.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexander-gordon-smith/yeah-because-you-ll-really-be-showing-them-won-t-you-talk-about/)

[Alexander Gordon Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexander-gordon-smith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2bd/alexander-gordon-smith-9349_inspirational_yeah-because-you-ll-really-be-showing-th_990774.png)

> [If you ran as much as you run your mouth, you would be in great shape.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-ran-as-much-as-you-run-your-mouth-you-would-be-in-great-shape/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ee/anonymous-1_bullshit_if-you-ran-as-much-as-you-run-your-mouth_824901.jpg)

> [“I could just hear my mom now, "You know those old candy cigarettes are bad for you. Next thing you know, you'll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-martin-beckner/i-could-just-hear-my-mom-now-you-know-those-old-candy-cigarettes-are/)

[K. Martin Beckner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/k-martin-beckner/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/979/k-martin-beckner-15699_cigarettes_i-could-just-hear-my-mom-now-you-know-th_3176214.jpg)

> [“What is your collective GPA for this year?” “Not as high as I'd like it to be.” Freud steepled his fingers in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nenia-campbell/what-is-your-collective-gpa-for-this-year-not-as-high-as-i-d-like-it/)

[Nenia Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nenia-campbell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8f/nenia-campbell-1294_freud_what-is-your-collective-gpa-for-this-yea_3234721.jpg)

> [“Say this one time with me: "Would you like that in a pump or a loafer?"... Good. Now memorize it, because starting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-huang/say-this-one-time-with-me-would-you-like-that-in-a-pump-or-a-loafer/)

[George Huang](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-huang/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/41f/george-huang-64999_fashion_say-this-one-time-with-me-would-you-like_2900661.jpg)

> [Too much love can kill you.. But what kind of love did you mean? By making love? That'll make you live and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rakii-retondo/too-much-love-can-kill-you-but-what-kind-of-love-did-you-mean-by/)

[Rakii Retondo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rakii-retondo/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/519/rakii-retondo-7522_funny_too-much-love-can-kill-you-but-what-kind_1433626.jpg)

> [There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/there-seems-to-me-to-be-absolutely-no-limit-to-the-inanity-and/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e78/arthur-conan-doyle-273_credulity_there-seems-to-me-to-be-absolutely-no-li_1812528.jpg)

> [What's the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you've fooled me, what's behind that blur? Is it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/persia/what-s-the-point-of-blurring-out-the-middle-finger-on-tv-like-oh-you/)

[Persia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/persia/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b2e/persia-74161_funny_what-s-the-point-of-blurring-out-the-mid_2213396.jpg)

> [I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says haha good one and we laugh…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-wake-up-everyday-planning-to-be-productive-and-then-a-voice-in-my/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d3/anonymous-1_productivity_i-wake-up-everyday-planning-to-be-produc_1612889.jpg)

> [The best philosophical attitude to adopt towards the world is a union of the sarcasm of gaiety with the indulgence of contempt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicolas-chamfort/the-best-philosophical-attitude-to-adopt-towards-the-world-is-a-union/)

[Nicolas Chamfort](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicolas-chamfort/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/103/nicolas-chamfort-2263_attitude_the-best-philosophical-attitude-to-adopt_2103593.png)

> [“What, everyone you know has been kidnapped by pirates and forced to chop octopus in a kitchen that smells like a whale's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/claire-fayers/what-everyone-you-know-has-been-kidnapped-by-pirates-and-forced-to/)

[Claire Fayers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/claire-fayers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2be/claire-fayers-91464_food_what-everyone-you-know-has-been-kidnappe_960985.jpg)

> [“Arjuro made a scoffing sound. ‘You think Lumatere will invade because of you? Are you that important?’ Froi looked away. ‘Isaboe would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melina-marchetta/arjuro-made-a-scoffing-sound-you-think-lumatere-will-invade-because/)

[Melina Marchetta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melina-marchetta/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8db/melina-marchetta-392_arse_arjuro-made-a-scoffing-sound-you-think-l_2728523.jpg)

> [“Yes", she said her voice dripping with sarcasm. "That's exactly what I'm saying, in fact let's try sex again." She leaped to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/larissa-ione/yes-she-said-her-voice-dripping-with-sarcasm-that-s-exactly-what-i-m/)

[Larissa Ione](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/larissa-ione/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/579/larissa-ione-1524_humor_yes-she-said-her-voice-dripping-with-sar_1101751.jpg)

> [“Andrew just shrugged, and I fiddled with the napkin in my lap while glancing idly around the restaurant. The obligatory mirrors hung…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alicia-thompson/andrew-just-shrugged-and-i-fiddled-with-the-napkin-in-my-lap-while/)

[Alicia Thompson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alicia-thompson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c2e/alicia-thompson-22935_light_andrew-just-shrugged-and-i-fiddled-with_2438608.jpg)

> [“Lucille certainly picked a fine time to leave us, didn’t he? I just wish our only problem was four hungry children and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/lucille-certainly-picked-a-fine-time-to-leave-us-didn-t-he-i-just/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/322/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_time_lucille-certainly-picked-a-fine-time-to_2046668.jpg)

> [Dr. Munro, sir," said he, "I am a walking museum. You could fit what ISN'T the matter with me on to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/dr-munro-sir-said-he-i-am-a-walking-museum-you-could-fit-what-isn-t/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/227/arthur-conan-doyle-273_brandy_dr-munro-sir-said-he-i-am-a-walking-muse_2655566.jpg)

> [This was why I was here. This was why I would take whatever reception waited for me when I got back. Because,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephenie-meyer/this-was-why-i-was-here-this-was-why-i-would-take-whatever-reception/)

[Stephenie Meyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephenie-meyer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7d1/stephenie-meyer-91_clear_this-was-why-i-was-here-this-was-why-i-w_1075495.png)

> [Oh yeah, you’re a regular sage. Shouldn’t you be sitting on a mountain somewhere cultivating a long white beard waiting for knowledge…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacquelyn-frank/oh-yeah-you-re-a-regular-sage-shouldn-t-you-be-sitting-on-a-mountain/)

[Jacquelyn Frank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacquelyn-frank/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4b7/jacquelyn-frank-7555_beard_oh-yeah-you-re-a-regular-sage-shouldn-t_1001294.png)

> [“I don't want to be here when my latest work of accidental art is discovered.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/becca-fitzpatrick/i-don-t-want-to-be-here-when-my-latest-work-of-accidental-art-is/)

[Becca Fitzpatrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/becca-fitzpatrick/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe0/becca-fitzpatrick-321_accidental_i-don-t-want-to-be-here-when-my-latest-w_1330213.png)

> [I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tyler-oakley/i-can-fluently-speak-five-languages-english-emoji-sexting-sarcasm-and/)

[Tyler Oakley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tyler-oakley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/95e/tyler-oakley-12371_five_i-can-fluently-speak-five-languages-engl_449103.jpg)

> [Listening to a conversation & screaming all the funny things you'd say in your head...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/listening-to-a-conversation-screaming-all-the-funny-things-you-d-say/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e30/me-7_communication_listening-to-a-conversation-screaming-al_903772.jpg)

> [“Casting sarcasm ain't easy.. It needs hard work and a big mug of cappuccino!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/himmilicious/casting-sarcasm-ain-t-easy-it-needs-hard-work-and-a-big-mug-of/)

[Himmilicious](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/himmilicious/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/344/himmilicious-4533_caffeine_casting-sarcasm-ain-t-easy-it-needs-hard_1171171.jpg)

> [“That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. I think I would have more fun chopping thistles with a butter knife.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/k-martin-beckner/that-s-the-dumbest-thing-i-ve-ever-heard-of-i-think-i-would-have-more/)

[K. Martin Beckner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/k-martin-beckner/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cae/k-martin-beckner-15699_humor_that-s-the-dumbest-thing-i-ve-ever-heard_1349234.jpg)

> [I am not gay, although I wish I were, just to pissed off homophobes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kurt-cobain/i-am-not-gay-although-i-wish-i-were-just-to-pissed-off-homophobes/)

[Kurt Cobain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kurt-cobain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a2/kurt-cobain-1260_being-gay_i-am-not-gay-although-i-wish-i-were-just_1023870.jpg)

> [Girl: All boys are the same Yes, because Zac Efron, Adolf Hitler and Barack Obama share extreme similarities.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/girl-all-boys-are-the-same-yes-because-zac-efron-adolf-hitler-and/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6fc/anonymous-1_sarcasm_girl-all-boys-are-the-same-yes-because-z_1599922.jpg)

> [“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-stern/it-s-not-hard-to-fail-it-s-hard-to-accept-you-failed-but-once-that-s/)

[Josh Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0ff/josh-stern-2480_absurd_it-s-not-hard-to-fail-it-s-hard-to-accep_133306.jpg)

> [“I’m not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicki-elson/i-m-not-sitting-back-here-with-another-dude-while-there-are-two/)

[Nicki Elson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicki-elson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/43e/nicki-elson-21773_females_i-m-not-sitting-back-here-with-another-d_377140.jpg)

> [I now know how uncomfortable most parents have it when they're having the sex talk with their children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epifania-savea/i-now-know-how-uncomfortable-most-parents-have-it-when-they-re-having/)

[Epifania Savea](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epifania-savea/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/785/epifania-savea-21365_children_i-now-know-how-uncomfortable-most-parent_1349229.jpg)

> [The lyrics were my sarcastic way of realizing you can't be the king of the hill all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hayley-williams/the-lyrics-were-my-sarcastic-way-of-realizing-you-can-t-be-the-king/)

[Hayley Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hayley-williams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02f/hayley-williams-2010_hills_the-lyrics-were-my-sarcastic-way-of-real_1470837.png)

> [a sarcastic expression, on a beast, is far more sinister than rage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-bosworth-greene/a-sarcastic-expression-on-a-beast-is-far-more-sinister-than-rage/)

[Anne Bosworth Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-bosworth-greene/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c13/anne-bosworth-greene-34780_anger_a-sarcastic-expression-on-a-beast-is-far_1918231.jpg)

> [“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-stern/be-nice-to-people-on-your-way-up-because-you-ll-land-on-them-on-your/)

[Josh Stern](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-stern/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/510/josh-stern-2480_absurd_be-nice-to-people-on-your-way-up-because_855415.jpg)

> [with a touch of sarcasm. “Glass is an amazing material. Versatile,](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maria-v-snyder/with-a-touch-of-sarcasm-glass-is-an-amazing-material-versatile/)

[Maria V. Snyder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maria-v-snyder/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed9/maria-v-snyder-1261_glass_with-a-touch-of-sarcasm-glass-is-an-amaz_1653261.png)

> [“Do I look like the kind of person who wastes time turning goats into pin cushions?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/l-j-smith/do-i-look-like-the-kind-of-person-who-wastes-time-turning-goats-into/)

[L.J. Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/l-j-smith/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ecc/l-j-smith-962_funny_do-i-look-like-the-kind-of-person-who-wa_2549097.png)

> [“Sometimes when I have the feeling like I’m almost crying, it can turn into an almost-laughing feeling.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-j-palacio/sometimes-when-i-have-the-feeling-like-i-m-almost-crying-it-can-turn/)

[R.J. Palacio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-j-palacio/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2c6/r-j-palacio-2789_crying_sometimes-when-i-have-the-feeling-like-i_311061.png)

## Top authors on Sarcasm

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- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-sherrilyn-kenyon-84925.jpg) Sherrilyn Kenyon 11 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/sherrilyn-kenyon/)
- [Mark Twain 11 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/mark-twain/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b002/author-rakii-retondo-7522.jpg) Rakii Retondo 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/rakii-retondo/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-nikhil-saluja-71464.jpg) Nikhil Saluja 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nikhil-saluja/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/terry-pratchett/)
- [SouL 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/soul/)

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                        "text": "The less experienced a doctor is, the higher are his notions of professional dignity . . .",
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                        "text": "Sarcasm is just one of the many services I offer to people who ask dumb questions.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I'm sorry, did the beginning of my sentence inturrupt the middle of yours?",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Yeah, because you'll really be showing them, won't you. Talk about cutting up your wrists to spite your fate.”",
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                        "text": "If you ran as much as you run your mouth, you would be in great shape.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I could just hear my mom now, \"You know those old candy cigarettes are bad for you. Next thing you know, you'll be drinking alcohol, and they'll find you dead in a ditch somewhere. I'll never be able to show my face in this town again.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“What is your collective GPA for this year?” “Not as high as I'd like it to be.” Freud steepled his fingers in front of his mouth. “What about your parents?” “I don't know. They haven't been in school for a while.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Say this one time with me: \"Would you like that in a pump or a loafer?\"... Good. Now memorize it, because starting tomorrow, the only job that you're going to be able to get is selling SHOES!”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Too much love can kill you.. But what kind of love did you mean? By making love? That'll make you live and make another new life with a baby! So I think that doesn't kill.. maybe..",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "There seems to me to be absolutely no limit to the inanity and credulity of the human race. Homo Sapiens! Homo idioticus!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "What's the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you've fooled me, what's behind that blur? Is it an umbrella? An elephant?",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says haha good one and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The best philosophical attitude to adopt towards the world is a union of the sarcasm of gaiety with the indulgence of contempt.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“What, everyone you know has been kidnapped by pirates and forced to chop octopus in a kitchen that smells like a whale's stomach?\" \"Quite a lot of them, yes,\" said Trudi, who appeared to be one of those people who'd heard of sarcasm but thought it was some sort of exotic fruit like a pineapple.”",
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                        "text": "“Arjuro made a scoffing sound. ‘You think Lumatere will invade because of you? Are you that important?’ Froi looked away. ‘Isaboe would invade if you kidnapped a servant, let alone a friend.’ ‘Isaboe? We’re on first-name terms with the Queen of Lumatere, are we?’ Gargarin asked. Froi found himself bristling. ‘What? Do you think I’m some cutthroat for hire who they found hanging around the palace walls with the words “I want to kill a Charynite King” tattooed on my arse?”",
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                        "text": "“Yes\", she said her voice dripping with sarcasm. \"That's exactly what I'm saying, in fact let's try sex again.\" She leaped to her feet and torn open her jeans. \"Maybe my magic vagina will cure you of all the traumatic acts my family has inflected on you.”",
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                        "text": "“Andrew just shrugged, and I fiddled with the napkin in my lap while glancing idly around the restaurant. The obligatory mirrors hung on the walls, and there was one of those fountains with fake lily pads in the entryway. The restaurant was also lit like a mine shaft. I've never understood why dim lighting is supposed to be so romantic. Night vision belongs into a Paris Hilton sex tape - not in a restaurant that could potentially poison me with peanut sauce.”",
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                        "text": "“Lucille certainly picked a fine time to leave us, didn’t he? I just wish our only problem was four hungry children and a crop in the field. (Danger) You know, your sarcasm isn’t helping anymore than your bizarre and scattered references to literature and bad country songs. (Alexion) Not true, it’s helping me maintain a calm facade that I most definitely do not feel. (Danger) Well, it’s starting to piss me off. (Alexion) Ooo, you almost scare me when you say that.”",
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                        "text": "Dr. Munro, sir,\" said he, \"I am a walking museum. You could fit what ISN'T the matter with me on to the back of a -- visiting card. If there's any complaint you want to make a special study of, just you come to me, sir, and see what I can do for you. It's not every one that can say that he has had cholera three times, and cured himself by living on red pepper and brandy.",
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                        "text": "This was why I was here. This was why I would take whatever reception waited for me when I got back. Because, underneath all the anger and the sarcasm, Jacob was in pain. Right now, it was very clear in his eyes. I didn't know how to help him, but I knew I had to try. It was more than that I owed him. It was because his pain hurt me, too. Jacob had become a part of me, and there was no changing that now.",
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                        "text": "Oh yeah, you’re a regular sage. Shouldn’t you be sitting on a mountain somewhere cultivating a long white beard waiting for knowledge seekers to come to you?” “Have I mentioned that sarcasm has the potential to be detrimental to the natural beauty of your face?” he countered.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I don't want to be here when my latest work of accidental art is discovered.”",
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                        "text": "I can fluently speak five languages: English, emoji, sexting, sarcasm and sass.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Listening to a conversation & screaming all the funny things you'd say in your head...",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Casting sarcasm ain't easy.. It needs hard work and a big mug of cappuccino!”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard of. I think I would have more fun chopping thistles with a butter knife.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I am not gay, although I wish I were, just to pissed off homophobes",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Girl: All boys are the same Yes, because Zac Efron, Adolf Hitler and Barack Obama share extreme similarities.",
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                        "text": "“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing”",
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                        "text": "“I’m not sitting back here with another dude while there are two perfectly doable females in the car.”",
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