---
title: "Top Sarcasm Quotations"
description: "Browse 1,265 Sarcasm quotes by 760 authors. Discover the best Sarcasm sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b11/germaine-greer-1521_bunnies_the-occupational-hazard-of-being-a-playb_2353406.png"
---

> [The occupational hazard of being a Playboy Bunny is the aching facial muscles brought on by obligatory smiles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/germaine-greer/the-occupational-hazard-of-being-a-playboy-bunny-is-the-aching-facial/)

[Germaine Greer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/germaine-greer/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b11/germaine-greer-1521_bunnies_the-occupational-hazard-of-being-a-playb_2353406.png)

> [Physics would have been much easier if... Tree had fallen on newton's head instead of the apple](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lyle/physics-would-have-been-much-easier-if-tree-had-fallen-on-newton-s/)

[LyLe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ec/lyle-45658_funny_physics-would-have-been-much-easier-if-t_2587832.jpg)

> [Sarcasm (n.) the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it¦!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sarcasm-n-the-ability-to-insult-idiots-without-them-realizing-it/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef0/anonymous-1_quote_sarcasm-n-the-ability-to-insult-idiots-w_1864515.jpg)

> [Giovanna Plowman, the girl who ate her own tampon, is in a relationship and you are single... Just let that sink in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/giovanna-plowman-the-girl-who-ate-her-own-tampon-is-in-a-relationship/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d73/anonymous-1_sarcasm_giovanna-plowman-the-girl-who-ate-her-ow_3209252.jpg)

> [“Everyone has bad days...'my Dear MIDDLE FINGER, Thanks for sticking up for me!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/napz-cherub-pellazo/everyone-has-bad-days-my-dear-middle-finger-thanks-for-sticking-up/)

[Napz Cherub Pellazo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/napz-cherub-pellazo/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a61/napz-cherub-pellazo-11836_bad-day_everyone-has-bad-days-my-dear-middle-fin_137438.jpg)

> [“No need to be sarcastic, Codex. I think that's sincere, actually. Wow.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/no-need-to-be-sarcastic-codex-i-think-that-s-sincere-actually-wow/)

[Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ad/cassandra-clare-9_cassandra-clare_no-need-to-be-sarcastic-codex-i-think-th_1415748.jpg)

> [I think whoever started the 'Good morning' thing was just being sarcastic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-think-whoever-started-the-good-morning-thing-was-just-being/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/069/anonymous-1_good-morning_i-think-whoever-started-the-good-morning_102304.jpg)

> [Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hannah-harrington/sketchy-black-van-weird-stalking-of-my-house-what-are-you-going-to-do/)

[Hannah Harrington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hannah-harrington/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2df/hannah-harrington-4452_funny_sketchy-black-van-weird-stalking-of-my-h_2102816.jpg)

> [“If by ‘foe’ you mean a brutal killer, then I suppose I’d fall into the ‘friend’ category,” I replied cynically. “Although in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-a-george/if-by-foe-you-mean-a-brutal-killer-then-i-suppose-i-d-fall-into-the/)

[M.A. George](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-a-george/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aec/m-a-george-15311_cynical-humor_if-by-foe-you-mean-a-brutal-killer-then_15755.jpg)

> [Douche: hey Girl: Douche: HEY Girl: What? Douche: you know, there should be a warning sign on my dick Girl: Excuse me?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ella-rojas/douche-hey-girl-douche-hey-girl-what-douche-you-know-there-should-be/)

[Ella Rojas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ella-rojas/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/485/ella-rojas-63536_420-facebook-status_douche-hey-girl-douche-hey-girl-what-dou_2558039.jpg)

> [“ “Your Tim is so unmistakably a healthy extravert type. Mens stulta in corpore sano, and all that.” “Exactly,” she agreed.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-wyndham/your-tim-is-so-unmistakably-a-healthy-extravert-type-mens-stulta-in/)

[John Wyndham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-wyndham/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/110/john-wyndham-8340_health_your-tim-is-so-unmistakably-a-healthy-ex_1809274.jpg)

> [The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-barry/the-old-system-of-having-a-baby-was-much-better-than-the-new-system/)

[Dave Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-barry/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf6/dave-barry-222_baby_the-old-system-of-having-a-baby-was-much_765274.png)

> [“don't play role in Drama that i well know about the content of script. i can count your steps after this. don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ikke-achmad/don-t-play-role-in-drama-that-i-well-know-about-the-content-of-script/)

[ikke achmad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ikke-achmad/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/edb/ikke-achmad-36575_cinema_don-t-play-role-in-drama-that-i-well-kno_285567.jpg)

> [“Everything funny in a not-funny-at-all kind of way. Sarcasm as something you practiced like karate. Later concealing your mute fury when nobody…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-lethem/everything-funny-in-a-not-funny-at-all-kind-of-way-sarcasm-as/)

[Jonathan Lethem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-lethem/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d4/jonathan-lethem-1403_funny_everything-funny-in-a-not-funny-at-all-k_2110591.jpg)

> [I don't like irony and sarcasm very much. But I do like it when you think someone is telling you a joke,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jens-lekman/i-don-t-like-irony-and-sarcasm-very-much-but-i-do-like-it-when-you/)

[Jens Lekman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jens-lekman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e1e/jens-lekman-3213_discover_i-don-t-like-irony-and-sarcasm-very-much_1859386.jpg)

> [I thought the line 'I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska' was very funny. I think the word is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrea-fay-friedman/i-thought-the-line-i-am-the-daughter-of-the-former-governor-of-alaska/)

[Andrea Fay Friedman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrea-fay-friedman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e4a/andrea-fay-friedman-95946_alaska_i-thought-the-line-i-am-the-daughter-of_1149590.jpg)

> [“I could do without your sarcasm. (Kat) And I could do without your bleeding heart. (Xypher) Just remember, my bleeding heart is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/i-could-do-without-your-sarcasm-kat-and-i-could-do-without-your/)

[Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/536/sherrilyn-kenyon-25_bleeding-heart_i-could-do-without-your-sarcasm-kat-and_2232799.jpg)

> [“Yes, I was standing on nothing but congealed starlight. Yes, I was walking up through a savage storm, the wind threatening to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-butcher/yes-i-was-standing-on-nothing-but-congealed-starlight-yes-i-was/)

[Jim Butcher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-butcher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/60f/jim-butcher-151_funny_yes-i-was-standing-on-nothing-but-congea_1151385.png)

> [“Princess. This is surprising. To what do I owe the pleasure?” “I need your help.” He chuckles. “Oh how the mighty have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-chase/princess-this-is-surprising-to-what-do-i-owe-the-pleasure-i-need-your/)

[Emma Chase](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-chase/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/61d/emma-chase-699_another-man_princess-this-is-surprising-to-what-do-i_1366351.jpg)

> [“The one plentiful herds of magazine writers would continue to be culled - by the Internet, by the recession, by the American…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gillian-flynn/the-one-plentiful-herds-of-magazine-writers-would-continue-to-be/)

[Gillian Flynn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gillian-flynn/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a6/gillian-flynn-316_alcohol_the-one-plentiful-herds-of-magazine-writ_2686526.jpg)

> [Love has been taken away from the poets, and has been brought within the domain of true science. It may prove to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/love-has-been-taken-away-from-the-poets-and-has-been-brought-within/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6f/arthur-conan-doyle-273_acid_love-has-been-taken-away-from-the-poets_2712815.jpg)

> [“Lost in thought, it took her several moments to realize that Jace had been saying something to her. When she blinked at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/lost-in-thought-it-took-her-several-moments-to-realize-that-jace-had/)

[Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/258/cassandra-clare-9_clary-fray_lost-in-thought-it-took-her-several-mome_758427.jpg)

> [“Hal frowned. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" "Uh, live in a tropical paradise for a week and sip fruity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cary-attwell/hal-frowned-are-you-sure-this-is-a-good-idea-uh-live-in-a-tropical/)

[Cary Attwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cary-attwell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/11e/cary-attwell-40860_humour_hal-frowned-are-you-sure-this-is-a-good_2773659.jpg)

> [Friend: I say tomato you say … Me:FUCK YOU FRIEND : You were suppose to say tamota lets try it again .…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mee/friend-i-say-tomato-you-say-me-fuck-you-friend-you-were-suppose-to/)

[MEE](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mee/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d06/mee-1543_bad-bitch_friend-i-say-tomato-you-say-me-fuck-you_1070605.jpg)

> [When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-people-ask-dumb-questions-i-feel-obligated-to-give-sarcastic/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/04e/anonymous-1_answers_when-people-ask-dumb-questions-i-feel-ob_2528658.jpg)

> [Funny things are always funnier when your not allowed to laugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/funny-things-are-always-funnier-when-your-not-allowed-to-laugh/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/48e/anonymous-1_funny_funny-things-are-always-funnier-when-you_1740208.jpg)

> [If you are insulted for your sarcasm, that means you hit the target you killed the person you mocked on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilkin-santak/if-you-are-insulted-for-your-sarcasm-that-means-you-hit-the-target/)

[Ilkin Santak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilkin-santak/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fb/ilkin-santak-7545_aristocracy_if-you-are-insulted-for-your-sarcasm-tha_2256866.jpg)

> [“Sarcasm is wasted on those who haven’t had a decent night’s sleep, my darling.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tracy-guzeman/sarcasm-is-wasted-on-those-who-haven-t-had-a-decent-night-s-sleep-my/)

[Tracy Guzeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tracy-guzeman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/044/tracy-guzeman-16431_sarcasm_sarcasm-is-wasted-on-those-who-haven-t-h_855722.jpg)

> [“I’m just allergic to cheating trollops – it makes me break out in sarcasm.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-harvey-berrick/i-m-just-allergic-to-cheating-trollops-it-makes-me-break-out-in/)

[Jane Harvey-Berrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-harvey-berrick/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e06/jane-harvey-berrick-4206_quote_i-m-just-allergic-to-cheating-trollops-i_1525984.jpg)

> [“If walls could talk - scratch that, if walls could make sarcastic comments... well, things would be interesting.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meghan-apriceno/if-walls-could-talk-scratch-that-if-walls-could-make-sarcastic/)

[Meghan Apriceno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meghan-apriceno/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2d7/meghan-apriceno-103823_faith_if-walls-could-talk-scratch-that-if-wall_2193979.jpg)

> [“Some women walk towards a better future. Others have chauffeurs.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ljupka-cvetanova/some-women-walk-towards-a-better-future-others-have-chauffeurs/)

[Ljupka Cvetanova](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ljupka-cvetanova/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a66/ljupka-cvetanova-3477_aphorisms_some-women-walk-towards-a-better-future_6608.jpg)

> [What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/psyche-zeroh/what-if-you-re-in-hell-and-you-re-mad-at-someone-where-do-you-tell/)

[Psyche\_Zeroh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/psyche-zeroh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f69/psyche-zeroh-31967_attitude_what-if-you-re-in-hell-and-you-re-mad-at_3054893.jpg)

> [Men never do anything right. And if they do something right, they'll never do it again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/men-never-do-anything-right-and-if-they-do-something-right-they-ll/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6f8/anonymous-1_broken-hearted_men-never-do-anything-right-and-if-they_1971551.jpg)

> [Never put off till tomorrow what you can do day after tomorrow just as well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/never-put-off-till-tomorrow-what-you-can-do-day-after-tomorrow-just/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8cd/mark-twain-22_awesome-motivational_never-put-off-till-tomorrow-what-you-can_2398290.png)

> ['Are you mad at me?' Nooooo, I'm actually happy that you broke my heart and hurt me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/blondie/are-you-mad-at-me-nooooo-i-m-actually-happy-that-you-broke-my-heart/)

[Blondie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/blondie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd5/blondie-1496_being-hurt-by-someon_are-you-mad-at-me-nooooo-i-m-actually-ha_2675602.jpg)

> [You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm. It's really funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/you-see-that-is-the-sad-sorry-terrible-thing-about-sarcasm-it-s/)

[Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7db/brandon-sanderson-112_sarcasm_you-see-that-is-the-sad-sorry-terrible-t_2657117.jpg)

> [They say that life is too short, I just wonder who took the measurements.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paballo-nhambiri/they-say-that-life-is-too-short-i-just-wonder-who-took-the/)

[Paballo Nhambiri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paballo-nhambiri/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/17d/paballo-nhambiri-62652_funny_they-say-that-life-is-too-short-i-just-w_1973798.jpg)

> [“If time is money and you wasted my time, then give me back my money!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ljupka-cvetanova/if-time-is-money-and-you-wasted-my-time-then-give-me-back-my-money/)

[Ljupka Cvetanova](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ljupka-cvetanova/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d31/ljupka-cvetanova-3477_give-back_if-time-is-money-and-you-wasted-my-time_931678.jpg)

> [I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allan-sloan/i-grew-up-in-an-environment-of-jokes-and-sarcasm-and-puns-i-talk-that/)

[Allan Sloan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allan-sloan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6de/allan-sloan-34713_environment_i-grew-up-in-an-environment-of-jokes-and_2430601.png)

> [I trust that age doth not wither nor custom stale my infinite variety.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/i-trust-that-age-doth-not-wither-nor-custom-stale-my-infinite-variety/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ed3/arthur-conan-doyle-273_age_i-trust-that-age-doth-not-wither-nor-cus_1683036.jpg)

## Top authors on Sarcasm

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- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-nikhil-saluja-71464.jpg) Nikhil Saluja 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nikhil-saluja/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/terry-pratchett/)
- [SouL 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/soul/)

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                        "text": "Physics would have been much easier if... Tree had fallen on newton's head instead of the apple",
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                        "text": "Sarcasm (n.) the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it¦!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Giovanna Plowman, the girl who ate her own tampon, is in a relationship and you are single... Just let that sink in.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Everyone has bad days...'my Dear MIDDLE FINGER, Thanks for sticking up for me!”",
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                            "name": "Napz Cherub Pellazo"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“No need to be sarcastic, Codex. I think that's sincere, actually. Wow.”",
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                        "text": "I think whoever started the 'Good morning' thing was just being sarcastic.",
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                        "text": "Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy?",
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                            "name": "Hannah Harrington"
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                        "text": "“If by ‘foe’ you mean a brutal killer, then I suppose I’d fall into the ‘friend’ category,” I replied cynically. “Although in your case, we may have to find a secret option number three.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Douche: hey Girl: Douche: HEY Girl: What? Douche: you know, there should be a warning sign on my dick Girl: Excuse me? Douche: Yeah, it should say choking hazard lol *hi fives bros* Girl: isn't that a label they put on small objects?...??",
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                            "name": "Ella Rojas"
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                            "caption": "“Douche: hey Girl: Douche: HEY Girl: What? Douche: you know, there should be a warning sign on my dick Girl…” — Ella Rojas",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“ “Your Tim is so unmistakably a healthy extravert type. Mens stulta in corpore sano, and all that.” “Exactly,” she agreed.”",
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                            "name": "John Wyndham"
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                            "caption": "““Your Tim is so unmistakably a healthy extravert type. Mens stulta in corpore sano, and all that.”…” — John Wyndham",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "The old system of having a baby was much better than the new system, the old system being characterized by the fact that the man didn't have to watch.",
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                            "@type": "Person",
                            "name": "Dave Barry"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“don't play role in Drama that i well know about the content of script. i can count your steps after this. don't forget who's the director!”",
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                            "name": "ikke achmad"
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Everything funny in a not-funny-at-all kind of way. Sarcasm as something you practiced like karate. Later concealing your mute fury when nobody fed you the opening lines.”",
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                            "name": "Jonathan Lethem"
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                        "text": "I don't like irony and sarcasm very much. But I do like it when you think someone is telling you a joke, and then you discover it's serious.",
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                        "text": "I thought the line 'I am the daughter of the former governor of Alaska' was very funny. I think the word is 'sarcasm.' In my family we think laughing is good. My parents raised me to have a sense of humor and to live a normal life.",
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                        "text": "“I could do without your sarcasm. (Kat) And I could do without your bleeding heart. (Xypher) Just remember, my bleeding heart is what gained you a shot at freedom. (Kat) Queenie, it was a bleeding heart that put me in that position to begin with. The person I was trying to protect when I was taken didn’t return the favor. The bitch was only using me. So take my advice: whatever compassion you have, kill it off. You’ll thank me for it later. (Xypher)”",
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                        "text": "“Yes, I was standing on nothing but congealed starlight. Yes, I was walking up through a savage storm, the wind threatening to tear me off and throw me into the freezing waters of Lake Michigan far below. Yes, I was using a legendary and enchanted means of travel to transcend the border between one dimension and the next, and on my way to an epic struggle between ancient and elemental forces. But all i could think to say, between panting breaths, was, \"Yeah. Sure. They couldn't possibly have made this an escalator.”",
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                        "text": "“Princess. This is surprising. To what do I owe the pleasure?” “I need your help.” He chuckles. “Oh how the mighty have fallen. I love it. How can I be of service?” I’ve never met another man who could so artfully convey in his tone the opposite of what his words mean. Sarcasm, thy name is Willard”",
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                        "text": "“The one plentiful herds of magazine writers would continue to be culled - by the Internet, by the recession, by the American public, who would rather watch TV or play video games or electronically inform friends that, like, 'rain sucks!' But there's no app for a bourbon buzz on a warm day in a cool, dark bar. The world will always want a drink.”",
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                        "text": "Love has been taken away from the poets, and has been brought within the domain of true science. It may prove to be one of the great cosmic elementary forces. When the atom of hydrogen draws the atom of chlorine towards it to form the perfected molecule of hydrochloric acid, the force which it exerts may be intrinsically similar to that which draws me to you. Attraction and repulsion appear to be the primary forces. This is attraction.",
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                        "text": "“Lost in thought, it took her several moments to realize that Jace had been saying something to her. When she blinked at him, she saw a wry grin spread across his face. \"What?\" she asked, ungraciously. \"I wish you'd stop desperately trying to get my attention like this,\" he said. \"It's become embarrassing.\" \"Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt,\" she told him. \"I can't help it. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.\" \"Your pain will be outer soon if you don't get out of traffic. Are you trying to get run over by a cab?\" \"Don't be ridiculous,\" he said. \"We could never get a cab that easily in this neighborhood.”",
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                        "text": "“Hal frowned. \"Are you sure this is a good idea?\" \"Uh, live in a tropical paradise for a week and sip fruity drinks with umbrellas in them by the pool? Yeah, Hal,\" I said, cranking up the sarcasm far past eleven, \"that's a fate worse than death. I don't know what I was thinking.\" \"No,\" he said, stretching the word out longer than was healthy for it, \"I was thinking more like going on a honeymoon without a wife.\" I dropped a sock and looked up at him, stung. \"Don't rub it in, man.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Friend: I say tomato you say … Me:FUCK YOU FRIEND : You were suppose to say tamota lets try it again . Me: Wanna play a game ! Friend : Yeah ! Me: Do you know what is called ?! freind: No! what? Me:do you really wanna know ? Friend : Yes! Me:it a game called SHUT THE FUCK UP !",
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                        "text": "When people ask dumb questions, I feel obligated to give sarcastic answers.",
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                        "text": "Funny things are always funnier when your not allowed to laugh",
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                        "text": "“Sarcasm is wasted on those who haven’t had a decent night’s sleep, my darling.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I’m just allergic to cheating trollops – it makes me break out in sarcasm.”",
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                        "text": "“If walls could talk - scratch that, if walls could make sarcastic comments... well, things would be interesting.”",
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                        "text": "“Some women walk towards a better future. Others have chauffeurs.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "What if you're in hell, and you're mad at someone, where do you tell them to go?",
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