---
title: "Top Sarcasm Sayings"
description: "Browse 1,265 Sarcasm quotes by 760 authors. Discover the best Sarcasm sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb3/nenia-campbell-1294_funny_so-you-thought-you-could-shit-and-eat-at_1986544.jpg"
---

> [“So you thought you could shit and eat at the same time. How disgustingly convenient.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nenia-campbell/so-you-thought-you-could-shit-and-eat-at-the-same-time-how/)

[Nenia Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nenia-campbell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb3/nenia-campbell-1294_funny_so-you-thought-you-could-shit-and-eat-at_1986544.jpg)

> [“Excuse me if I feel skeptical,' I said. 'Coach's foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carrie-harris/excuse-me-if-i-feel-skeptical-i-said-coach-s-foot-fell-off-how/)

[Carrie Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carrie-harris/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c24/carrie-harris-37161_sarcasm_excuse-me-if-i-feel-skeptical-i-said-coa_1004023.jpg)

> [“The Gay' is not infectious, the world is not coming to an end, and people are happy. Gosh, how about that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelley-york/the-gay-is-not-infectious-the-world-is-not-coming-to-an-end-and/)

[Kelley York](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelley-york/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5fa/kelley-york-20004_coming-to-an-end_the-gay-is-not-infectious-the-world-is-n_2684971.jpg)

> [If you bring the balonga..,believe ima bring the goddamn beef. Ima bring the whole cow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jordinary-ws/if-you-bring-the-balonga-believe-ima-bring-the-goddamn-beef-ima-bring/)

[JORdinary\_\[Ws](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jordinary-ws/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a56/jordinary-ws-49318_fighting_if-you-bring-the-balonga-believe-ima-bri_1035927.jpg)

> [If you don't advertise yourself you will be advertised by your loving enemies.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elbert-hubbard/if-you-don-t-advertise-yourself-you-will-be-advertised-by-your-loving/)

[Elbert Hubbard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elbert-hubbard/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4d9/elbert-hubbard-510_advertise_if-you-don-t-advertise-yourself-you-will_3095403.png)

> [I've just got to remind myself that it's hard to express tone and sarcasm and stuff through text.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kyle-larson/i-ve-just-got-to-remind-myself-that-it-s-hard-to-express-tone-and/)

[Kyle Larson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kyle-larson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f53/kyle-larson-5822_express_i-ve-just-got-to-remind-myself-that-it-s_845958.jpg)

> [SARCASM means the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fahad/sarcasm-means-the-ability-to-insult-idiots-without-them-realizing-it/)

[Fahad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fahad/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/598/fahad-103229_bad-relationship_sarcasm-means-the-ability-to-insult-idio_1668687.jpg)

> [When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/green-monk/when-someone-is-mad-and-asks-you-do-i-look-stupid-don-t-answer-them/)

[Green Monk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/green-monk/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/58d/green-monk-388_sarcasm_when-someone-is-mad-and-asks-you-do-i-lo_11285.jpg)

> [“... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-a-bucchianeri/a-man-doesn-t-like-to-have-his-ego-popped-especially-when-he-prides/)

[E.A. Bucchianeri](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-a-bucchianeri/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/234/e-a-bucchianeri-9143_black-humor_a-man-doesn-t-like-to-have-his-ego-poppe_13371.jpg)

> [“I ken who you are! You're Strathfearn's granddaughter. Julie Stuart, is it? Och, aye, Lady Julia! Well then, Lady Julia, tell me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-wein/i-ken-who-you-are-you-re-strathfearn-s-granddaughter-julie-stuart-is/)

[Elizabeth Wein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-wein/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae5/elizabeth-wein-3764_aye_i-ken-who-you-are-you-re-strathfearn-s-g_1766892.png)

> [In Lubbock, we grew up with two main things: God loves you and he's gonna send you to hell, and that sex…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/butch-hancock/in-lubbock-we-grew-up-with-two-main-things-god-loves-you-and-he-s/)

[Butch Hancock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/butch-hancock/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8e/butch-hancock-61714_awful_in-lubbock-we-grew-up-with-two-main-thin_1004451.png)

> [“Brightness...I believe you stray into sarcasm." "Funny.I thought I'd run straight into it,screaming at the top of my lungs.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/brightness-i-believe-you-stray-into-sarcasm-funny-i-thought-i-d-run/)

[Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/941/brandon-sanderson-112_humor_brightness-i-believe-you-stray-into-sarc_868533.jpg)

> [“The bastard kissed her. She was so mad, she bit him hard enough to draw blood. Raphael pulled back, lip already beginning…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nalini-singh/the-bastard-kissed-her-she-was-so-mad-she-bit-him-hard-enough-to-draw/)

[Nalini Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nalini-singh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e9a/nalini-singh-293_comebacks_the-bastard-kissed-her-she-was-so-mad-sh_2462729.png)

> [“He wouldn't let her work. You know, he was controlling. Some men are like that.' He gives me a quick sideways smily.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/he-wouldn-t-let-her-work-you-know-he-was-controlling-some-men-are/)

[E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59d/e-l-james-470_sarcasm_he-wouldn-t-let-her-work-you-know-he-was_1586996.jpg)

> [It's like in most parts of America, where there was industry and there is no longer; there is cynicism mixed with sarcasm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-gaffigan/it-s-like-in-most-parts-of-america-where-there-was-industry-and-there/)

[Jim Gaffigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-gaffigan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/27a/jim-gaffigan-580_america_it-s-like-in-most-parts-of-america-where_1693523.jpg)

> [“Everyone has their coping mechanisms, Mom. Some hide behind silk scarves and boutique cafés. Others stick to sarcasm. Chapter 4”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irina-semikop/everyone-has-their-coping-mechanisms-mom-some-hide-behind-silk/)

[Irina Semikop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irina-semikop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a51/irina-semikop-71740_coping_everyone-has-their-coping-mechanisms-mom_374034.jpg)

> [“Do…you…have…a…hard…time…finding…Steve’s dick?” she enunciated, enjoying Mary’s extreme discomfort. “He’s big as a fuckin’ house so I imagine it might be a bit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-t-hicks/do-you-have-a-hard-time-finding-steve-s-dick-she-enunciated-enjoying/)

[A.T. Hicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-t-hicks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/a-t-hicks-67421_bitterness_do-you-have-a-hard-time-finding-steve-s_2693490.jpg)

> [About time," Christian said. "Lissa and Adrian get the market share on worrying about you, but they're not the only ones. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-mead/about-time-christian-said-lissa-and-adrian-get-the-market-share-on/)

[Richelle Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-mead/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c06/richelle-mead-46_christian_about-time-christian-said-lissa-and-adri_775958.jpg)

> [“Edna restored the toffee to the centre of her tongue and sucking pleasurably, resumed her typing of Naked Love by Armand Levine.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/agatha-christie/edna-restored-the-toffee-to-the-centre-of-her-tongue-and-sucking/)

[Agatha Christie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/agatha-christie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fe5/agatha-christie-154_erotica_edna-restored-the-toffee-to-the-centre-o_2121211.jpg)

> [Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/detection-is-or-ought-to-be-an-exact-science-and-should-be-treated-in-3/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9a/arthur-conan-doyle-273_cold_detection-is-or-ought-to-be-an-exact-sci_2296466.jpg)

> [I was the sibling that kind of kept it all on a level when life at home got tough. I did it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-galecki/i-was-the-sibling-that-kind-of-kept-it-all-on-a-level-when-life-at/)

[Johnny Galecki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-galecki/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/df6/johnny-galecki-14638_brotherhood_i-was-the-sibling-that-kind-of-kept-it-a_1981111.jpg)

> [“But the people only talked about how ugly her face looked. No one even bothered to mention what a sweet, kindhearted girl…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janaki-sooriyarachchi/but-the-people-only-talked-about-how-ugly-her-face-looked-no-one-even/)

[Janaki Sooriyarachchi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janaki-sooriyarachchi/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b0/janaki-sooriyarachchi-55789_heart_but-the-people-only-talked-about-how-ugl_2587492.jpg)

> [“Well, how do we get out of this place?” Evyette’s voice shaking slightly. “We can’t.” If Kaleb felt any hopelessness he wasn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-c-morin/well-how-do-we-get-out-of-this-place-evyette-s-voice-shaking-slightly/)

[B.C. Morin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-c-morin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bb3/b-c-morin-35972_life-or-death_well-how-do-we-get-out-of-this-place-evy_56801.jpg)

> [“We are Nephilim; we fight our own battles." "That's not precisely true, is it?" said a velvety voice. It was Magnus Bane,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/we-are-nephilim-we-fight-our-own-battles-that-s-not-precisely-true-is/)

[Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cd5/cassandra-clare-9_humor_we-are-nephilim-we-fight-our-own-battles_1876957.jpg)

> [“What? You mean this crap shack isn't part of the Four Seasons. Shocking.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashley-elston/what-you-mean-this-crap-shack-isn-t-part-of-the-four-seasons-shocking/)

[Ashley Elston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashley-elston/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/511/ashley-elston-55726_four-seasons_what-you-mean-this-crap-shack-isn-t-part_1172968.jpg)

> [If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace fo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-the-whole-world-smoked-a-joint-at-the-same-time-there-would-be/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f24/anonymous-1_peace_if-the-whole-world-smoked-a-joint-at-the_1443234.jpg)

> [I'm being ironic. Don't interrupt a man in the midst of being ironic, it's not polite. There!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-bradbury/i-m-being-ironic-don-t-interrupt-a-man-in-the-midst-of-being-ironic/)

[Ray Bradbury](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-bradbury/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4fc/ray-bradbury-75_ironic_i-m-being-ironic-don-t-interrupt-a-man-i_2631489.jpg)

> [Final Destination 5...well someone doesn't understand the meaning of 'Final'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/final-destination-5-well-someone-doesn-t-understand-the-meaning-of/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/909/anonymous-1_final_final-destination-5-well-someone-doesn-t_122836.jpg)

> [“Playful, positive sarcasm is different from negative mean sarcasm, and many people don't know the difference.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryant-mcgill/playful-positive-sarcasm-is-different-from-negative-mean-sarcasm-and/)

[Bryant McGill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryant-mcgill/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca1/bryant-mcgill-108_different_playful-positive-sarcasm-is-different-fr_1618208.jpg)

> [Text back embarrassingly fast or three hours later. there is no in between.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/text-back-embarrassingly-fast-or-three-hours-later-there-is-no-in/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ed/anonymous-1_fast_text-back-embarrassingly-fast-or-three-h_693638.jpg)

> [It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-moore/it-s-wildly-irritating-to-have-invented-something-as-revolutionary-as/)

[Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-moore/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5dc/christopher-moore-353_irritating_it-s-wildly-irritating-to-have-invented_1828001.png)

> [That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced thatpeople actually think your stupid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/that-awkward-moment-when-your-sarcasm-is-so-advanced-thatpeople/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/493/anonymous-1_amazing_that-awkward-moment-when-your-sarcasm-is_2703100.jpg)

> [Sarcasm is the language of the devil, for which reason I have long since as good as renounced it](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-carlyle/sarcasm-is-the-language-of-the-devil-for-which-reason-i-have-long/)

[Thomas Carlyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-carlyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b8/thomas-carlyle-207_sarcasm_sarcasm-is-the-language-of-the-devil-for_2164404.png)

> [Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there an also dropped hammer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-ruskin/beethoven-always-sounds-to-me-like-the-upsetting-of-a-bag-of-nails/)

[John Ruskin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-ruskin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b75/john-ruskin-314_bags_beethoven-always-sounds-to-me-like-the-u_878819.jpg)

> [Can the sarcasm,' he said. 'Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/can-the-sarcasm-he-said-please-i-always-use-fresh-sarcasm-never-canned/)

[Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/539/laurell-k-hamilton-199_anita-blake_can-the-sarcasm-he-said-please-i-always_1316868.png)

> [“No need to be sarcastic,” he said. “How can you not be sarcastic in this pharmacy you call a school?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hamish-de-lamet/no-need-to-be-sarcastic-he-said-how-can-you-not-be-sarcastic-in-this/)

[Hamish De'Lamet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hamish-de-lamet/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ef/hamish-de-lamet-44510_quote_no-need-to-be-sarcastic-he-said-how-can_1591509.jpg)

> [I really hate it when I'm in a good mood and suddenly something bad happens and ruins everything](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/crystal-jones/i-really-hate-it-when-i-m-in-a-good-mood-and-suddenly-something-bad/)

[Crystal Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/crystal-jones/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b50/crystal-jones-61768_good-mood_i-really-hate-it-when-i-m-in-a-good-mood_721578.jpg)

> [You know your childhood is pretty much over when you fall asleep on the couch, and wake up on the f\*cking couch.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/psyche-zeroh/you-know-your-childhood-is-pretty-much-over-when-you-fall-asleep-on/)

[Psyche\_Zeroh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/psyche-zeroh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/48f/psyche-zeroh-31967_attitude_you-know-your-childhood-is-pretty-much-o_2410822.jpg)

> [Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today... Made myself a sandwich.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/persia/decided-to-get-in-touch-with-my-feminine-side-today-made-myself-a/)

[Persia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/persia/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a63/persia-74161_feminine_decided-to-get-in-touch-with-my-feminine_795072.jpg)

> [An absence of antecedents and of relatives is sometimes an aid rather than an impediment to social advancement . . .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/an-absence-of-antecedents-and-of-relatives-is-sometimes-an-aid-rather/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84f/arthur-conan-doyle-273_absence_an-absence-of-antecedents-and-of-relativ_2326401.jpg)

## Top authors on Sarcasm

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- [Nenia Campbell 20 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nenia-campbell/)
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- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b008/author-psyche-zeroh-31967.jpg) Psyche\_Zeroh 14 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/psyche-zeroh/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b003/author-syoung-8345.jpg) Syoung 13 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/syoung/)
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- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-sherrilyn-kenyon-84925.jpg) Sherrilyn Kenyon 11 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/sherrilyn-kenyon/)
- [Mark Twain 11 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/mark-twain/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b002/author-rakii-retondo-7522.jpg) Rakii Retondo 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/rakii-retondo/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-nikhil-saluja-71464.jpg) Nikhil Saluja 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nikhil-saluja/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/terry-pratchett/)
- [SouL 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/soul/)

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                        "text": "“Excuse me if I feel skeptical,' I said. 'Coach's foot fell off. How exactly do you propose to cure that? Superglue?”",
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                        "text": "“The Gay' is not infectious, the world is not coming to an end, and people are happy. Gosh, how about that.”",
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                        "text": "If you bring the balonga..,believe ima bring the goddamn beef. Ima bring the whole cow.",
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                        "text": "“... a man doesn't like to have his ego popped, especially when he prides himself on his sagacity, and then to be proved wrong by a man who claims he doesn't know anything.”",
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                        "text": "“I ken who you are! You're Strathfearn's granddaughter. Julie Stuart, is it? Och, aye, Lady Julia! Well then, Lady Julia, tell me -- who don't you deserve a glass of water?”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "In Lubbock, we grew up with two main things: God loves you and he's gonna send you to hell, and that sex is bad and dirty and nasty and awful and you should save it for the one you love.",
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                        "text": "“Brightness...I believe you stray into sarcasm.\" \"Funny.I thought I'd run straight into it,screaming at the top of my lungs.”",
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                        "text": "“The bastard kissed her. She was so mad, she bit him hard enough to draw blood. Raphael pulled back, lip already beginning to swell. “We are no longer even, Elena. You’re now in debt.” “You can deduct it from my slow and painful death.”",
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                        "text": "“He wouldn't let her work. You know, he was controlling. Some men are like that.' He gives me a quick sideways smily. 'Really? A controlling man, surely a mythical creature?' I don't think I can squeeze any more sarcasm into my response.”",
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                        "text": "It's like in most parts of America, where there was industry and there is no longer; there is cynicism mixed with sarcasm and some optimism. That's how my background influenced my comedy.",
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                        "text": "“Everyone has their coping mechanisms, Mom. Some hide behind silk scarves and boutique cafés. Others stick to sarcasm. Chapter 4”",
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                        "text": "“Do…you…have…a…hard…time…finding…Steve’s dick?” she enunciated, enjoying Mary’s extreme discomfort. “He’s big as a fuckin’ house so I imagine it might be a bit of a problem.” The New Jersey accent that was still there after more than fifteen years in the south, resurfaced in her aggravation.”",
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                        "text": "About time,\" Christian said. \"Lissa and Adrian get the market share on worrying about you, but they're not the only ones. And someone needs to put Adrian in his place, you know. I can't do it all the time.\" \"Thanks. It kills me to say this, but I missed you too. No one's sarcasm compares to yours in Russia.",
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                        "text": "“Edna restored the toffee to the centre of her tongue and sucking pleasurably, resumed her typing of Naked Love by Armand Levine. Its painstaking eroticism left her uninterested--as indeed it did most of Mr. Levine's readers, in spite of his efforts. He was a notable example of the fact that nothing can be duller than dull pornography.”",
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                        "text": "Detection is, or ought to be, an exact science, and should be treated in the same cold and unemotional manner. You have attempted to tinge it with romanticism, which produces much the same effect as if you worked a love-story or an elopement into the fifth proposition of Euclid.",
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                        "text": "I was the sibling that kind of kept it all on a level when life at home got tough. I did it through comedy, sarcasm and distraction. All families are complicated, but my home life was glaringly uncomfortable much of the time, and it was me that took the onus.",
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                        "text": "“But the people only talked about how ugly her face looked. No one even bothered to mention what a sweet, kindhearted girl she was. Now, don’t be amazed! That is just the nature of humans, to notice the one flaw among a person’s ten good qualities.”",
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                        "text": "“Well, how do we get out of this place?” Evyette’s voice shaking slightly. “We can’t.” If Kaleb felt any hopelessness he wasn’t conveying it. He looked around arduously, “Unless we find someone willing to help us.” “Oh well, that should not be a problem at all,” Tristan retorted throwing his hands up, “considering everything so far has tried to kill us!”",
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                        "text": "“We are Nephilim; we fight our own battles.\" \"That's not precisely true, is it?\" said a velvety voice. It was Magnus Bane, wearing a long and glittering coat, multiple hoops in his ears, and a roguish expression. Clary had no idea where he'd come from. \"You lot have used the help of warlocks on more than one occasion in the past, and paid handsomely for it too.\" Malachi scowled. \"I don't remember the Clave inviting you into the Glass City, Magnus Bane.\" \"They didn't,\" Magnus said. \"Your wards are down.\" \"Really?\" the Consul's voice dripped sarcasm. \"I hadn't noticed.\" Magnus looked concerned. \"That's terrible. Someone should have told you.\" He glanced at Luke. \"Tell him the wards are down.”",
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                        "text": "“What? You mean this crap shack isn't part of the Four Seasons. Shocking.”",
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                        "text": "If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace fo",
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                        "text": "I'm being ironic. Don't interrupt a man in the midst of being ironic, it's not polite. There!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Final Destination 5...well someone doesn't understand the meaning of 'Final'.",
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                        "text": "“Playful, positive sarcasm is different from negative mean sarcasm, and many people don't know the difference.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Text back embarrassingly fast or three hours later. there is no in between.",
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                        "text": "It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced thatpeople actually think your stupid",
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