---
title: "Famous Sarcasm Qoutes"
description: "Browse 1,265 Sarcasm quotes by 760 authors. Discover the best Sarcasm sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/778/anonymous-1_sarcasm_if-i-ever-wanted-to-commit-suicide-i-d-d_1018424.jpg"
---

> [If I ever wanted to commit suicide, I'd definitely jump from your ego level to your IQ level](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-i-ever-wanted-to-commit-suicide-i-d-definitely-jump-from-your-ego/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/778/anonymous-1_sarcasm_if-i-ever-wanted-to-commit-suicide-i-d-d_1018424.jpg)

> [If your dick was as big as your mouth I might would have been impressed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-your-dick-was-as-big-as-your-mouth-i-might-would-have-been/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e0/anonymous-1_big-mouth_if-your-dick-was-as-big-as-your-mouth-i_2600161.jpg)

> [Nobody cares unless you're good looking or dead, sad thing..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/nobody-cares-unless-you-re-good-looking-or-dead-sad-thing/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d55/anonymous-1_cares_nobody-cares-unless-you-re-good-looking_235709.jpg)

> [“Balekin and Orlagh are planning your murder,” I say flustered. “Yes,” he says lazily. “So why did I wake at all?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holly-black/balekin-and-orlagh-are-planning-your-murder-i-say-flustered-yes-he/)

[Holly Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holly-black/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/759/holly-black-329_humor_balekin-and-orlagh-are-planning-your-mur_1208372.png)

> [I haven't had sex in so long I am considering becoming a born again virgin.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-swain/i-haven-t-had-sex-in-so-long-i-am-considering-becoming-a-born-again/)

[Ryan Swain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-swain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/401/ryan-swain-43846_comical_i-haven-t-had-sex-in-so-long-i-am-consid_2249768.jpg)

> [“Wouldn’t you like to know,” I smiled. “I travel. Shit happens.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alyse-m-gardner/wouldn-t-you-like-to-know-i-smiled-i-travel-shit-happens/)

[Alyse M. Gardner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alyse-m-gardner/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/050/alyse-m-gardner-23201_aloof_wouldn-t-you-like-to-know-i-smiled-i-tra_1974941.jpg)

> [“Some people stride toward a better future. Others have chauffeurs.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ljupka-cvetanova/some-people-stride-toward-a-better-future-others-have-chauffeurs/)

[Ljupka Cvetanova](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ljupka-cvetanova/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef8/ljupka-cvetanova-3477_aphorism_some-people-stride-toward-a-better-futur_273009.jpg)

> [I like a girl who's smart, they have to be able to grasp witty sarcasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eyedea/i-like-a-girl-who-s-smart-they-have-to-be-able-to-grasp-witty-sarcasm/)

[Eyedea](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eyedea/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5d3/eyedea-13974_able_i-like-a-girl-who-s-smart-they-have-to-b_849251.jpg)

> [“Fine, it’s decided.” Vain resumed his stride. “I’ll do all the killing, and you do all the stuff that an Avun-Riah does.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luke-romyn/fine-it-s-decided-vain-resumed-his-stride-i-ll-do-all-the-killing-and/)

Luke Romyn

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f99/luke-romyn-258215_assassin_fine-it-s-decided-vain-resumed-his-strid_2710527.jpg)

> [I have seen those symptoms before," said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. "Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/i-have-seen-those-symptoms-before-said-holmes-throwing-his-cigarette/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b98/arthur-conan-doyle-273_cigarette_i-have-seen-those-symptoms-before-said-h_2747621.jpg)

> [“As soon as they were spotted, one of the jerk’s buddies pointed at me and said, “Arrest her! She’s the one who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bella-shadow/as-soon-as-they-were-spotted-one-of-the-jerk-s-buddies-pointed-at-me/)

[Bella Shadow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bella-shadow/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6ad/bella-shadow-48641_sarcasm_as-soon-as-they-were-spotted-one-of-the_743927.jpg)

> [“She's my best friend, and I know she means well, but as she talks I'm mentally calculating all the ways I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephanie-campbell/she-s-my-best-friend-and-i-know-she-means-well-but-as-she-talks-i-m/)

[Stephanie Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephanie-campbell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2fd/stephanie-campbell-26334_best-friend_she-s-my-best-friend-and-i-know-she-mean_3093070.jpg)

> [Polish people have a wit and sarcasm. They're gentle but still very strong. Like, they love beer, which is traditionally so manly,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antoni-porowski/polish-people-have-a-wit-and-sarcasm-they-re-gentle-but-still-very/)

[Antoni Porowski](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antoni-porowski/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02e/antoni-porowski-6090_beer_polish-people-have-a-wit-and-sarcasm-the_181021.jpg)

> [“Could you attempt, at least, to make yourself presentable? I know this is a war, but the rest of us are trying…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristin-cashore/could-you-attempt-at-least-to-make-yourself-presentable-i-know-this/)

[Kristin Cashore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristin-cashore/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/270/kristin-cashore-369_attempt_could-you-attempt-at-least-to-make-yours_2257107.png)

> [American Indigence- Seeking or wishing to have more hands to reach out to fill the bottomless void from which there should be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-maliszewski/american-indigence-seeking-or-wishing-to-have-more-hands-to-reach-out/)

Mark Maliszewski

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/daa/mark-maliszewski-260277_human-spirit_american-indigence-seeking-or-wishing-to_2990571.jpg)

> [“I tried to step back quickly but James grabbed my hand. "C'mon," he said "this'll be fun." Geez... What's your definition of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bella-shadow/i-tried-to-step-back-quickly-but-james-grabbed-my-hand-c-mon-he-said/)

[Bella Shadow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bella-shadow/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/bella-shadow-48641_humor_i-tried-to-step-back-quickly-but-james-g_1845379.jpg)

> [“Hey,” he said. “Hi.” Oh, damn. It was awkward. “What’re you doing?” “Shearing a sheep. It’s cold outside, and I need a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chanelle-gray/hey-he-said-hi-oh-damn-it-was-awkward-what-re-you-doing-shearing-a/)

[Chanelle Gray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chanelle-gray/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e9/chanelle-gray-64179_amerie_hey-he-said-hi-oh-damn-it-was-awkward-wh_1647316.jpg)

> [He didn't see me looking at him, but I could tell the ceremony was having the same effect on him. He was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richelle-mead/he-didn-t-see-me-looking-at-him-but-i-could-tell-the-ceremony-was/)

[Richelle Mead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richelle-mead/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/271/richelle-mead-46_art_he-didn-t-see-me-looking-at-him-but-i-co_1983770.jpg)

> [I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/i-have-witnessed-and-greatly-enjoyed-the-first-act-of-everything/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f0f/mark-twain-22_effects_i-have-witnessed-and-greatly-enjoyed-the_1380844.png)

> [“You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister." "Am I?" the dwarf replied, sardonic. "Do tell my lord father. My mother died…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-r-r-martin/you-are-your-mother-s-trueborn-son-of-lannister-am-i-the-dwarf/)

[George R.R. Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-r-r-martin/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/214/george-r-r-martin-48_bastards_you-are-your-mother-s-trueborn-son-of-la_2321509.jpg)

> [We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/we-had-got-as-far-as-this-when-who-should-walk-in-but-the-gentleman/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b8/arthur-conan-doyle-273_adjectives_we-had-got-as-far-as-this-when-who-shoul_2351211.jpg)

> [“Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary,” Apollo remarked casually. I grinned at him. “I don’t think ‘assholeness’ is a word.”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-l-armentrout/your-sarcasm-and-general-assholeness-are-not-necessary-apollo/)

[Jennifer L. Armentrout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-l-armentrout/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7ec/jennifer-l-armentrout-96_apollo_your-sarcasm-and-general-assholeness-are_1620305.jpg)

> [“He was impugning my virtue. I ought to have been offended, but for some reason the idea tickled me. That could be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-hartman/he-was-impugning-my-virtue-i-ought-to-have-been-offended-but-for-some/)

[Rachel Hartman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-hartman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/93e/rachel-hartman-6350_sarcasm_he-was-impugning-my-virtue-i-ought-to-ha_590692.jpg)

> [I was so furious I was actually dizzy with it. There were so many bitchy, sarcastic observations to make, I was having…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maryjanice-davidson/i-was-so-furious-i-was-actually-dizzy-with-it-there-were-so-many/)

[MaryJanice Davidson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maryjanice-davidson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/376/maryjanice-davidson-4231_dizzy_i-was-so-furious-i-was-actually-dizzy-wi_1725909.png)

> [“If sarcasm were a virtue, I'd be the most righteous man alive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simeon-stoychev/if-sarcasm-were-a-virtue-i-d-be-the-most-righteous-man-alive/)

Simeon Stoychev

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a6c/simeon-stoychev-278371_character_if-sarcasm-were-a-virtue-i-d-be-the-most_2845466.jpg)

> [How could they tell? (on being told that Calvin Coolidge was dead)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dorothy-parker/how-could-they-tell-on-being-told-that-calvin-coolidge-was-dead/)

[Dorothy Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dorothy-parker/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2cf/dorothy-parker-700_dead_how-could-they-tell-on-being-told-that-c_2579261.jpg)

> [“I wouldn’t be caught dead sacrificing myself for this country.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sol-luckman/i-wouldn-t-be-caught-dead-sacrificing-myself-for-this-country/)

[Sol Luckman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sol-luckman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/35e/sol-luckman-4953_america_i-wouldn-t-be-caught-dead-sacrificing-my_1688080.jpg)

> [I like messed up people, and I try to associate with them as much as I possibly can.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-like-messed-up-people-and-i-try-to-associate-with-them-as-much-as-i/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d01/anonymous-1_funny_i-like-messed-up-people-and-i-try-to-ass_439865.jpg)

> [People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/people-do-not-deserve-to-have-good-writing-they-are-so-pleased-with/)

[Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25a/ralph-waldo-emerson-6_bad-writing_people-do-not-deserve-to-have-good-writi_734768.png)

> [Dear Karma, I really hate you right now, you made your point.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ottilie-weber/dear-karma-i-really-hate-you-right-now-you-made-your-point/)

[Ottilie Weber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ottilie-weber/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2f2/ottilie-weber-29873_hate_dear-karma-i-really-hate-you-right-now-y_2747168.jpg)

> [I USE SARCASM AS A FUNNY WAY TO TELL YOU HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT YOU b''CH.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stenayuca-martinez/i-use-sarcasm-as-a-funny-way-to-tell-you-how-i-really-feel-about-you/)

STENAYUCA/MARTINEZ

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d87/stenayuca-martinez-101743_funny-way_i-use-sarcasm-as-a-funny-way-to-tell-you_773573.jpg)

> [“Minho snickered and leaned back in his chair. “Man, you are one butt-load of sunshine, let me tell you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-dashner/minho-snickered-and-leaned-back-in-his-chair-man-you-are-one-butt/)

[James Dashner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-dashner/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8af/james-dashner-989_maze-runner_minho-snickered-and-leaned-back-in-his-c_810757.png)

> [Tact is for people who aren't smart or witty enough to be sarcastic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/tact-is-for-people-who-aren-t-smart-or-witty-enough-to-be-sarcastic/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/17d/anonymous-1_humor_tact-is-for-people-who-aren-t-smart-or-w_1649133.jpg)

> [“When all else fails...try smoking a good cigar and have a stiff drink. If that doesn't work...have another.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-pina/when-all-else-fails-try-smoking-a-good-cigar-and-have-a-stiff-drink/)

[Timothy Pina](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-pina/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/49b/timothy-pina-290_drink_when-all-else-fails-try-smoking-a-good-c_3179885.jpg)

> [What is the use of straining after an amiable view of things, when a cynical view is most likely to be the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-bernard-shaw/what-is-the-use-of-straining-after-an-amiable-view-of-things-when-a/)

[George Bernard Shaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-bernard-shaw/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/92d/george-bernard-shaw-68_amiable_what-is-the-use-of-straining-after-an-am_1754373.png)

> [Sarcasm is like cheap wine - it leaves a terrible aftertaste.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-perino/sarcasm-is-like-cheap-wine-it-leaves-a-terrible-aftertaste/)

[Dana Perino](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-perino/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/876/dana-perino-2974_aftertaste_sarcasm-is-like-cheap-wine-it-leaves-a-t_1796658.png)

> [“I couldn't help thinkin' if she was as far out o' town as she was out o' tune, she wouldn't get back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-orne-jewett/i-couldn-t-help-thinkin-if-she-was-as-far-out-o-town-as-she-was-out-o/)

[Sarah Orne Jewett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-orne-jewett/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/045/sarah-orne-jewett-10338_heart_i-couldn-t-help-thinkin-if-she-was-as-fa_819699.jpg)

> [“You're not a loser. You're almost as smart as me, which makes you one of the smartest people on the planet.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jules-barnard/you-re-not-a-loser-you-re-almost-as-smart-as-me-which-makes-you-one/)

[Jules Barnard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jules-barnard/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6d2/jules-barnard-56081_cute-moments_you-re-not-a-loser-you-re-almost-as-smar_1003750.jpg)

> [“You could shove it up your ass and pretend you're a corn dog." COURTESY VIOLATION-RESPONSE MUTED-VIOLATION LOGGED”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-cline/you-could-shove-it-up-your-ass-and-pretend-you-re-a-corn-dog-courtesy/)

[Ernest Cline](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-cline/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/638/ernest-cline-1857_humor_you-could-shove-it-up-your-ass-and-prete_2661838.png)

> [When people ask me plz because it's shorter than please. I tell them no because it's shorter than yes .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-people-ask-me-plz-because-it-s-shorter-than-please-i-tell-them/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/05c/anonymous-1_answers_when-people-ask-me-plz-because-it-s-shor_2705766.jpg)

## Top authors on Sarcasm

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b004/author-arthur-conan-doyle-14897.jpg) Arthur Conan Doyle 30 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/arthur-conan-doyle/)
- [Nenia Campbell 20 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nenia-campbell/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-cassandra-clare-21529.jpg) Cassandra Clare 17 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/cassandra-clare/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-ljupka-cvetanova-3477.jpg) Ljupka Cvetanova 13 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/ljupka-cvetanova/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-sherrilyn-kenyon-84925.jpg) Sherrilyn Kenyon 11 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/sherrilyn-kenyon/)
- [Mark Twain 11 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/mark-twain/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b002/author-rakii-retondo-7522.jpg) Rakii Retondo 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/rakii-retondo/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-nikhil-saluja-71464.jpg) Nikhil Saluja 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nikhil-saluja/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/terry-pratchett/)
- [SouL 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/soul/)

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                        "text": "“Balekin and Orlagh are planning your murder,” I say flustered. “Yes,” he says lazily. “So why did I wake at all?”",
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                        "text": "“Fine, it’s decided.” Vain resumed his stride. “I’ll do all the killing, and you do all the stuff that an Avun-Riah does. Whatever the hell that is.”",
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                        "text": "I have seen those symptoms before,\" said Holmes, throwing his cigarette into the fire. \"Oscillation upon the pavement always means an affaire de coeur.",
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                        "text": "“As soon as they were spotted, one of the jerk’s buddies pointed at me and said, “Arrest her! She’s the one who killed Zak!” Why I outta… Wait Zak? I thought we all agreed he was Captain Asshole? Oh, no… Guess that was just me. ”",
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                        "text": "“She's my best friend, and I know she means well, but as she talks I'm mentally calculating all the ways I could silence her. I'm bigger than her... I wonder if I could use my straw for some sort of MacGyver inspired weapon.”",
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                        "text": "Polish people have a wit and sarcasm. They're gentle but still very strong. Like, they love beer, which is traditionally so manly, but they'll put a spoonful of jam in it to sweeten it up. They're this wonderful mix of hard and soft.",
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                        "text": "“Could you attempt, at least, to make yourself presentable? I know this is a war, but the rest of us are trying to pretend it's a party.”",
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                        "text": "American Indigence- Seeking or wishing to have more hands to reach out to fill the bottomless void from which there should be a human spirit.",
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                        "text": "“I tried to step back quickly but James grabbed my hand. \"C'mon,\" he said \"this'll be fun.\" Geez... What's your definition of fun? Cuz mines not to possibly get killed my first day here. Or maybe that's just a personal goal, but still... ”",
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                        "text": "“Hey,” he said. “Hi.” Oh, damn. It was awkward. “What’re you doing?” “Shearing a sheep. It’s cold outside, and I need a new hat.” He paused. “You’re joking, right?” “Yes, Marshall.” I gnawed on my fingers some more and sunk back in my chair.”",
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                        "text": "He didn't see me looking at him, but I could tell the ceremony was having the same effect on him. He was enraptured. It was a rare and sweet look for him, reminding me of the tortured artist that lived beneath the sarcasm. I liked that about Adrian—not the tortured part, but the way he could feel so deeply and then transform those emotions into art.",
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                        "text": "I have witnessed and greatly enjoyed the first act of everything which Wagner created, but the effect on me has always been so powerful that one act was quite sufficient; whenever I have witnessed two acts I have gone away physically exhausted; and whenever I have ventured an entire opera the result has been the next thing to suicide.",
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                        "text": "“You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister.\" \"Am I?\" the dwarf replied, sardonic. \"Do tell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he's never been sure.\" \"I don't even know who my mother was,\" Jon said. \"Some woman, no doubt. Most of them are.\" He favored Jon with a rueful grin. \"Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs.\" And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune. When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king.”",
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                        "text": "We had got as far as this, when who should walk in but the gentleman himself, who had been drinking his beer in the taproom and had heard the whole conversation. Who was I? What did I want? What did I mean by asking questions? He had a fine flow of language, and his adjectives were very vigorous.",
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                        "text": "“Your sarcasm and general assholeness are not necessary,” Apollo remarked casually. I grinned at him. “I don’t think ‘assholeness’ is a word.” “It is if I say it is.” Apollo drew in a deep breath, a sure sign his temper was reaching its knock-Seth-into-the-nearby-ocean point.”",
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                        "text": "“He was impugning my virtue. I ought to have been offended, but for some reason the idea tickled me. That could be my next career: instrument of torture! Seducing prisoners, and then revealing my dragon scales! They would confess out of sheer horror.”",
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                        "text": "I was so furious I was actually dizzy with it. There were so many bitchy, sarcastic observations to make, I was having a sarcasm stroke. \"My God! You people! You're - you're so stupid you're making my eyeballs throb. They're throbbing, dammit!",
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                        "text": "“If sarcasm were a virtue, I'd be the most righteous man alive.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "How could they tell? (on being told that Calvin Coolidge was dead)",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I wouldn’t be caught dead sacrificing myself for this country.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I like messed up people, and I try to associate with them as much as I possibly can.",
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                        "text": "People do not deserve to have good writing, they are so pleased with bad.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Dear Karma, I really hate you right now, you made your point.",
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                        "text": "I USE SARCASM AS A FUNNY WAY TO TELL YOU HOW I REALLY FEEL ABOUT YOU b''CH.",
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                        "text": "“Minho snickered and leaned back in his chair. “Man, you are one butt-load of sunshine, let me tell you.”",
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                        "text": "Tact is for people who aren't smart or witty enough to be sarcastic.",
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