---
title: "Famous Sarcasm Thoughts"
description: "Browse 1,265 Sarcasm quotes by 760 authors. Discover the best Sarcasm sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e8/nenia-campbell-1294_friendship_we-both-want-you-dead-i-m-bringing-the-f_86944.jpg"
---

> [“We both want you dead. I'm bringing the friendship bracelets to the next meeting.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nenia-campbell/we-both-want-you-dead-i-m-bringing-the-friendship-bracelets-to-the/)

[Nenia Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nenia-campbell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e8/nenia-campbell-1294_friendship_we-both-want-you-dead-i-m-bringing-the-f_86944.jpg)

> [“Jace said that the cast of Gilligan's Island could do something anatomically unlikely with themselves.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/jace-said-that-the-cast-of-gilligan-s-island-could-do-something/)

[Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/436/cassandra-clare-9_clary-fray_jace-said-that-the-cast-of-gilligan-s-is_369693.jpg)

> [“Hi! I'm Ethan, I shop at Ikea. I bought a $300 dining suite and it took me three days to assemble!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-coupland/hi-i-m-ethan-i-shop-at-ikea-i-bought-a-300-dining-suite-and-it-took/)

[Douglas Coupland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-coupland/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/915/douglas-coupland-305_furniture_hi-i-m-ethan-i-shop-at-ikea-i-bought-a-3_3031164.jpg)

> [Someone asked if I was listening to them. Yes I am. I said. It's not like I would rather be doing something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/music/someone-asked-if-i-was-listening-to-them-yes-i-am-i-said-it-s-not/)

[Music](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/music/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/940/music-34094_communication_someone-asked-if-i-was-listening-to-them_3200955.jpg)

> [“The building is a tumbling house of cards behind me. The bus bitches are paper cutouts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jolene-stockman/the-building-is-a-tumbling-house-of-cards-behind-me-the-bus-bitches/)

[Jolene Stockman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jolene-stockman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b9b/jolene-stockman-41405_bitches_the-building-is-a-tumbling-house-of-card_2866419.jpg)

> [Individuals who have a sarcastic personality tend to be more honest & upfront, the type of people you want as friends.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/individuals-who-have-a-sarcastic-personality-tend-to-be-more-honest/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/44e/anonymous-1_facts_individuals-who-have-a-sarcastic-persona_1833274.jpg)

> [“As a general rule, I preferred not to have my soul reaped.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-riordan/as-a-general-rule-i-preferred-not-to-have-my-soul-reaped/)

[Rick Riordan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-riordan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/030/rick-riordan-27_humor_as-a-general-rule-i-preferred-not-to-hav_3206394.jpg)

> [“It feels good to shoot your veins full of heroin too, but that doesn’t mean you should go out and become a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noelle-blakely/it-feels-good-to-shoot-your-veins-full-of-heroin-too-but-that-doesn-t/)

Noelle Blakely

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/520/noelle-blakely-266786_sarcasm_it-feels-good-to-shoot-your-veins-full-o_1062470.jpg)

> [“Jules stood up and stretched gracelessly. “Let’s hurry up and pay before she”-she indicated Claire with a flick of her thumb-“sees something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kimberly-derting/jules-stood-up-and-stretched-gracelessly-let-s-hurry-up-and-pay/)

[Kimberly Derting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kimberly-derting/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b2/kimberly-derting-2436_funny-humor_jules-stood-up-and-stretched-gracelessly_978690.jpg)

> [“Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all."…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hazel-blackthorn/well-i-think-leo-s-either-going-to-learn-a-much-needed-lesson-in/)

[Hazel Blackthorn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hazel-blackthorn/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e60/hazel-blackthorn-62529_funny-quotes_well-i-think-leo-s-either-going-to-learn_2169630.jpg)

> [“Humor and sarcasm: Humor and sarcasm are two very common ways to deflect, avoid, or simply deny feelings and thoughts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shirley-impellizzeri/humor-and-sarcasm-humor-and-sarcasm-are-two-very-common-ways-to/)

Shirley Impellizzeri

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/131/shirley-impellizzeri-73130_quote_humor-and-sarcasm-humor-and-sarcasm-are_1809158.jpg)

> [“You were a well-respected agent, Michael, a rags-to-riches fairytale ending. Until you became disgraced. Now it appears your own organization wishes to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nenia-campbell/you-were-a-well-respected-agent-michael-a-rags-to-riches-fairytale/)

[Nenia Campbell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nenia-campbell/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c7b/nenia-campbell-1294_fairytale-ending_you-were-a-well-respected-agent-michael_104502.jpg)

> [My brothers are both 6 ft. 5 in., and if you have younger brothers who are bigger than you then you have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-moran/my-brothers-are-both-6-ft-5-in-and-if-you-have-younger-brothers-who/)

[Nick Moran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-moran/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/20a/nick-moran-36128_ancient_my-brothers-are-both-6-ft-5-in-and-if-yo_692033.jpg)

> [So, you don't have a Valentine on Valentine's Day? Well, some people don't have a Mother on Mother's Day. Or, a Father…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/psyche-zeroh/so-you-don-t-have-a-valentine-on-valentine-s-day-well-some-people-don/)

Psyche\_Zeroh

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/11d/psyche-zeroh-31967_attitude_so-you-don-t-have-a-valentine-on-valenti_3073550.jpg)

> [Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/well-sir-let-us-do-what-we-can-to-curtail-this-visit-which-can-hardly/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/273/arthur-conan-doyle-273_humorous_well-sir-let-us-do-what-we-can-to-curtai_255897.jpg)

> [“There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden’s brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/courtney-kirchoff/there-were-so-many-viciously-sarcastic-ways-to-respond-jaden-s-brain/)

[Courtney Kirchoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/courtney-kirchoff/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca5/courtney-kirchoff-46951_humor_there-were-so-many-viciously-sarcastic-w_438115.jpg)

> [“How do you know? You said lithium didn’t work for some people. It’s not working for me!’ ‘Till the end of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tabitha-suzuma/how-do-you-know-you-said-lithium-didn-t-work-for-some-people-it-s-not/)

[Tabitha Suzuma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tabitha-suzuma/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ddd/tabitha-suzuma-5239_bipolar-disorder_how-do-you-know-you-said-lithium-didn-t_934277.png)

> [“The students adore your father,' a perfumed woman said to me. 'Aren't you lucky to live with such a charming man!' 'He's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/natalie-standiford/the-students-adore-your-father-a-perfumed-woman-said-to-me-aren-t-you/)

[Natalie Standiford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/natalie-standiford/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d52/natalie-standiford-15356_every-morning_the-students-adore-your-father-a-perfume_465268.jpg)

> [“For me, all those systematic Bureaucracies of traditional schools jaded me. For me, I still couldn’t understand why we have to have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neda-aria/for-me-all-those-systematic-bureaucracies-of-traditional-schools/)

[Neda Aria](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neda-aria/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/233/neda-aria-43389_21st-century_for-me-all-those-systematic-bureaucracie_1548839.jpg)

> [Poison." he said, deadpan. "That's an unusual name to give your child. You must love her very much." She's a treasure." Bram…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-wooding/poison-he-said-deadpan-that-s-an-unusual-name-to-give-your-child-you/)

[Chris Wooding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-wooding/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/273/chris-wooding-18672_children_poison-he-said-deadpan-that-s-an-unusual_3034029.jpg)

> [“The phone wavered in Richard's hand. He was holding it about half an inch away from his ear anyway because it seemed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-adams/the-phone-wavered-in-richard-s-hand-he-was-holding-it-about-half-an/)

[Douglas Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-adams/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e7b/douglas-adams-122_humor_the-phone-wavered-in-richard-s-hand-he-w_2281096.jpg)

> [“How do we exorcise one of the Jinn?" He shrugged. "You got Yellow Pages?" "Seriously?" Jai snorted. "Yes, Ari. There are Aissawa…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samantha-young/how-do-we-exorcise-one-of-the-jinn-he-shrugged-you-got-yellow-pages/)

[Samantha Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samantha-young/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bc/samantha-young-766_quote_how-do-we-exorcise-one-of-the-jinn-he-sh_1877517.jpg)

> [...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/man-is-a-marvelous-curiosity-when-he-is-at-his-very-very-best-he-is-a/)

[Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/abd/mark-twain-22_angel_man-is-a-marvelous-curiosity-when-he-is_1262155.png)

> [“There are some however more condescending, and gracious enough to confess, that many Women have wit and conduct; but yet they are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lady-sophia-fermor/there-are-some-however-more-condescending-and-gracious-enough-to/)

[Lady Sophia Fermor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lady-sophia-fermor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/035/lady-sophia-fermor-20567_18th-century_there-are-some-however-more-condescendin_1365020.jpg)

> [I'm so sick of sarcasm and irony, I could kill! Sincerely, the real root of things is love and sacrifice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-foster/i-m-so-sick-of-sarcasm-and-irony-i-could-kill-sincerely-the-real-root/)

[Ben Foster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-foster/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1ca/ben-foster-52125_could_i-m-so-sick-of-sarcasm-and-irony-i-could_296430.jpg)

> [Halloween: Is one night of the year when all households save the most on their electricity bill.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/halloween-is-one-night-of-the-year-when-all-households-save-the-most/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b76/anonymous-1_events_halloween-is-one-night-of-the-year-when_2716696.jpg)

> [“Imitating someone is the mediocre way of getting humanity back to what we evolved from.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shubham-choudhary/imitating-someone-is-the-mediocre-way-of-getting-humanity-back-to/)

[Shubham Choudhary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shubham-choudhary/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/434/shubham-choudhary-47290_deep_imitating-someone-is-the-mediocre-way-of_2061951.jpg)

> [Don't buy converse if you're gonna draw on the white parts, idiots.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/don-t-buy-converse-if-you-re-gonna-draw-on-the-white-parts-idiots/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c2/anonymous-1_sarcasm_don-t-buy-converse-if-you-re-gonna-draw_2200176.jpg)

> [Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/azgraybebly-joslan/being-married-is-like-having-the-freedom-to-do-whatever-your-wife/)

Azgraybebly Joslan

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/454/azgraybebly-joslan-653_freedom_being-married-is-like-having-the-freedom_3118826.jpg)

> [That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/that-awkward-moment-when-your-sarcasm-is-so-advanced-people-actually/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/82e/anonymous-1_amazing_that-awkward-moment-when-your-sarcasm-is_1274756.jpg)

> [“Oh no, praying is great, without it the thumbscrews and the Iron Maiden probably never would have been invented.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/oh-no-praying-is-great-without-it-the-thumbscrews-and-the-iron-maiden/)

[Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a41/stephen-king-13_religion_oh-no-praying-is-great-without-it-the-th_922006.jpg)

> [Beth: Are you stalking me now? Nick: No, I'm just running into you in a premidetated manner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/when-in-rome-beth/beth-are-you-stalking-me-now-nick-no-i-m-just-running-into-you-in-a/)

When In Rome - Beth

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6e6/when-in-rome-beth-286607_funny_beth-are-you-stalking-me-now-nick-no-i-m_1006968.jpg)

> [Sarcasm and compassion are two of the qualities that make life on Earth tolerable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/sarcasm-and-compassion-are-two-of-the-qualities-that-make-life-on/)

[Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8d/nick-hornby-325_compassion_sarcasm-and-compassion-are-two-of-the-qu_2535646.png)

> [“You are such a kind and caring man, and so sizzling hot and studly. Please, please don’t go nutty on me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicki-elson/you-are-such-a-kind-and-caring-man-and-so-sizzling-hot-and-studly/)

[Nicki Elson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicki-elson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0dd/nicki-elson-21773_fairy-tales-for-adul_you-are-such-a-kind-and-caring-man-and-s_3126036.jpg)

> [“My natural tendency toward sarcasm is still not appreciated.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/my-natural-tendency-toward-sarcasm-is-still-not-appreciated/)

[Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b30/veronica-roth-66_appreciated_my-natural-tendency-toward-sarcasm-is-st_1605373.png)

> [You must be the arithmetic man; you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-must-be-the-arithmetic-man-you-add-trouble-subtract-pleasure/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/007/anonymous-1_arithmetic_you-must-be-the-arithmetic-man-you-add-t_380697.jpg)

> [Some intentionally injure others through mocking, sarcasm with no intent to help. Others are trying to help.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sterling-w-sill/some-intentionally-injure-others-through-mocking-sarcasm-with-no/)

[Sterling W Sill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sterling-w-sill/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f9/sterling-w-sill-9927_criticism_some-intentionally-injure-others-through_1471345.jpg)

> [The subconscious doesn't distinguish sarcasm and jokes. It just accepts what it hears. That's the power of words.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/india-arie/the-subconscious-doesn-t-distinguish-sarcasm-and-jokes-it-just/)

[India Arie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/india-arie/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cb1/india-arie-3506_comedy_the-subconscious-doesn-t-distinguish-sar_2663422.png)

> [“I’m not bipolar, I’ve just had a bipolar life foisted upon me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-o-malley/i-m-not-bipolar-i-ve-just-had-a-bipolar-life-foisted-upon-me/)

[Daniel O'Malley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-o-malley/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae6/daniel-o-malley-16394_bipolar_i-m-not-bipolar-i-ve-just-had-a-bipolar_2713517.jpg)

> [What if the government built this thing? I doubt it. Why? Cause it works.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/what-if-the-government-built-this-thing-i-doubt-it-why-cause-it-works/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/708/anonymous-1_government_what-if-the-government-built-this-thing_1133006.jpg)

## Top authors on Sarcasm

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- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/terry-pratchett/)
- [SouL 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/soul/)

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                        "text": "“Hi! I'm Ethan, I shop at Ikea. I bought a $300 dining suite and it took me three days to assemble!”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Someone asked if I was listening to them. Yes I am. I said. It's not like I would rather be doing something worse.",
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                        "text": "“The building is a tumbling house of cards behind me. The bus bitches are paper cutouts.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“It feels good to shoot your veins full of heroin too, but that doesn’t mean you should go out and become a junkie.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Jules stood up and stretched gracelessly. “Let’s hurry up and pay before she”-she indicated Claire with a flick of her thumb-“sees something shiny and we lose her again.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Well, I think Leo's either going to learn a much needed lesson in social activity-- or go nuts and kill us all.\" -Crash”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Humor and sarcasm: Humor and sarcasm are two very common ways to deflect, avoid, or simply deny feelings and thoughts.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“You were a well-respected agent, Michael, a rags-to-riches fairytale ending. Until you became disgraced. Now it appears your own organization wishes to be rid of you. Why is this?” “My gun turned back into a pumpkin.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "My brothers are both 6 ft. 5 in., and if you have younger brothers who are bigger than you then you have to learn the ancient martial art of sarcasm.",
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                        "text": "So, you don't have a Valentine on Valentine's Day? Well, some people don't have a Mother on Mother's Day. Or, a Father on Father's Day. So shut the f*ck up.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Well, sir, let us do what we can to curtail this visit, which can hardly be agreeable to you, and is inexpressibly irksome to me.",
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                        "text": "“There were so many viciously sarcastic ways to respond, Jaden’s brain was temporarily paralyzed due to witty comeback overload.”",
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                        "text": "“How do you know? You said lithium didn’t work for some people. It’s not working for me!’ ‘Till the end of the month,’ Dr Stefan said evenly. ‘If there’s no change by then, we’ll try cutting the dose.’ ‘That’s another ten days! What do you care – you’re not the one taking it! That means I have to endure another ten days of hell, walking around like an idiot, bumping into things, forgetting the end of my sentences, feeling only half-alive! How am I supposed to believe this is going to work if it makes me feel like this? Why should I believe a word that you say?’ Dr Stefan smiled slightly. ‘Because, Flynn, this is the most animated I’ve ever seen you. I would venture to say that you’re beginning, just beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.’ Flynn narrowed his eyes in contempt. ‘Well if that’s the case, then, to quote Robert Lowell, it must be the light of the oncoming train.’ Dr Stefan threw his head back and roared with laughter.”",
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                        "text": "“The students adore your father,' a perfumed woman said to me. 'Aren't you lucky to live with such a charming man!' 'He's even more charming at home,' Mom said. 'Isn't he, Bea? He rides a unicycle through the house -' '- even up and down the stairs,' I added. 'He juggles eggs as he makes breakfast every morning -' '- which he serves to us in bed of course,' I said. '- and pulls fragrant bouquets out of his ass,' Mom finished. 'He's just a joy.”",
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                        "text": "“For me, all those systematic Bureaucracies of traditional schools jaded me. For me, I still couldn’t understand why we have to have a factory style education for children living in the 21st century. Why hold them in place, asking them to read and repeat and giving them a number of tasks to finish? I still have no idea how exams and objective assessments could measure human behavior or intelligence. Is it some kind of barcoding human aptitude? Is it ethical anyway?”",
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                        "text": "Poison.\" he said, deadpan. \"That's an unusual name to give your child. You must love her very much.\" She's a treasure.\" Bram agreed, blithely ignoing the sarcasm. … Then went a few dozen feet in silence, until they were out of eaarshor of the gaurd. She's a treasure.\" Poison mimicked, and Bram burst out laughing.",
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                        "text": "“The phone wavered in Richard's hand. He was holding it about half an inch away from his ear anyway because it seemed that somebody had dipped the earpiece in some chow mein recently, but that wasn't so bad. It was a public telephone so it was clearly an oversight that it was working at all.”",
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                        "text": "“How do we exorcise one of the Jinn?\" He shrugged. \"You got Yellow Pages?\" \"Seriously?\" Jai snorted. \"Yes, Ari. There are Aissawa Exorcists in the Yellow Pages.\" Huffing, Ari walked away from him. \"You really need to work on intonation when you use sarcasm. That way people will know when you're being an asshole.\" \"And you need to work on your gullibility.\" \"Well, I was under the impression you have no sense of humour so forgive me for believing everything you say.\" \"Well that should be fun.\" \"See!\" she threw over her shoulder. \"No intonation.”",
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                        "text": "...Man is a marvelous curiosity. When he is at his very very best he is a sort of low grade nickel-plated angel; at his worst he is unspeakable, unimaginable; and first and last and all the time he is a sarcasm. Yet he blandly and in all sincerity calls himself the 'noblest work of God.'",
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                        "text": "“There are some however more condescending, and gracious enough to confess, that many Women have wit and conduct; but yet they are of opinion, that even such of us as are most remarkable for either or both, still betray something which speaks the imbecility of our sex. Stale, thread-bare notions, which long since sunk'd with their own weight; and the extreme weakness of which seem'd to condemn to perpetual oblivion; till an ingenious writer, for want of something better to employ his pen about, was pleased lately to revive them in one of the weekly * papers, lest this age should be ignorant what fools there have been among his sex in former ones. To give us a sample then of the wisdom of his sex, he tells us, that it was always the opinion of the wisest among them, that Women are never to be indulged the sweets of liberty; but ought to pass their whole lives in a state of subordination to the Men, and in an absolute dependance upon them. And the reason assigned for so extravagant an assertion, is our not having a sufficient capacity to govern ourselves. It must be observed, that so bold a tenet ought to have better proofs to support it, than the bare word of the persons who advance it; as their being parties so immediately concern'd, must render all they say of this kind highly suspect.”",
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                        "text": "I'm so sick of sarcasm and irony, I could kill! Sincerely, the real root of things is love and sacrifice.",
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                        "text": "Halloween: Is one night of the year when all households save the most on their electricity bill.",
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                        "text": "“Imitating someone is the mediocre way of getting humanity back to what we evolved from.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Don't buy converse if you're gonna draw on the white parts, idiots.",
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                        "text": "Being married is like having the freedom to do whatever your wife tells you.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "That awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced people actually think you are stupid.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Oh no, praying is great, without it the thumbscrews and the Iron Maiden probably never would have been invented.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Beth: Are you stalking me now? Nick: No, I'm just running into you in a premidetated manner",
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