---
title: "Famous Sarcasm Lines"
description: "Browse 1,265 Sarcasm quotes by 760 authors. Discover the best Sarcasm sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/leon-noips-256191_death_min-aska-kommer-sprida-v-rme-2425670_2425670.jpg"
---

> [“Min aska kommer sprida värme.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leon-noips/min-aska-kommer-sprida-v-rme/)

Leon Noips

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/568/leon-noips-256191_death_min-aska-kommer-sprida-v-rme-2425670_2425670.jpg)

> [Its hard to be sucka-free in a world full of lollipops.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dmx/its-hard-to-be-sucka-free-in-a-world-full-of-lollipops/)

[DMX](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dmx/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/126/dmx-3054_being-real_its-hard-to-be-sucka-free-in-a-world-ful_3046977.png)

> [Without sarcasm I sink into chaos.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antonin-artaud/without-sarcasm-i-sink-into-chaos/)

[Antonin Artaud](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antonin-artaud/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b80/antonin-artaud-3802_chaos_without-sarcasm-i-sink-into-chaos-627492_627492.png)

> [“I got married. I could happen to anyone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ljupka-cvetanova/i-got-married-i-could-happen-to-anyone/)

[Ljupka Cvetanova](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ljupka-cvetanova/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a36/ljupka-cvetanova-3477_accident_i-got-married-i-could-happen-to-anyone-2_2967279.jpg)

> [Sarcasm... the protest of those who are weak.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-knowles/sarcasm-the-protest-of-those-who-are-weak/)

[John Knowles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-knowles/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dec/john-knowles-4729_protest_sarcasm-the-protest-of-those-who-are-wea_2174179.png)

> [I'm kind of sarcastic. Not cynical but sarcastic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gal-gadot/i-m-kind-of-sarcastic-not-cynical-but-sarcastic/)

[Gal Gadot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gal-gadot/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96c/gal-gadot-12902_cynical_i-m-kind-of-sarcastic-not-cynical-but-sa_769955.jpg)

> [If you were a vegetable you'd be a cabBITCH.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-were-a-vegetable-you-d-be-a-cabbitch/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c33/anonymous-1_bitch_if-you-were-a-vegetable-you-d-be-a-cabbi_1236750.jpg)

> [“I know a lie when I hear one.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adrian-mitchel/i-know-a-lie-when-i-hear-one/)

Adrian Mitchel

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7f4/adrian-mitchel-216487_hear_i-know-a-lie-when-i-hear-one-2336514_2336514.jpg)

> [Anyone who starts a sentence With all due respect...is about to insult you!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/anyone-who-starts-a-sentence-with-all-due-respect-is-about-to-insult/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f12/anonymous-1_insult_anyone-who-starts-a-sentence-with-all-du_112989.jpg)

> [It is a fitting irony that under Richard Nixon, 'launder' became a dirty word](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-zinsser/it-is-a-fitting-irony-that-under-richard-nixon-launder-became-a-dirty/)

[William Zinsser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-zinsser/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b7d/william-zinsser-2796_dirty_it-is-a-fitting-irony-that-under-richard_1226937.png)

> [Though we adore men individually, we agree as a group they're rather stupid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/though-we-adore-men-individually-we-agree-as-a-group-they-re-rather/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0cd/anonymous-1_broken-hearted_though-we-adore-men-individually-we-agre_789280.jpg)

> [Theres only so much sarcasm someone can do until its just being flat out mean.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/theres-only-so-much-sarcasm-someone-can-do-until-its-just-being-flat/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/586/anonymous-1_quote_theres-only-so-much-sarcasm-someone-can_1950343.jpg)

> [If you don't want a sarcastic answer, then don't ask a stupid question!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-don-t-want-a-sarcastic-answer-then-don-t-ask-a-stupid-question/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ef4/anonymous-1_advice_if-you-don-t-want-a-sarcastic-answer-the_2110943.jpg)

> [“Why fall? Let's rise in love together; and while we're at it, let's come up with lamer quotations.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ahmed-mostafa/why-fall-let-s-rise-in-love-together-and-while-we-re-at-it-let-s-come/)

[Ahmed Mostafa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ahmed-mostafa/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e8/ahmed-mostafa-8310_falling-in-love_why-fall-let-s-rise-in-love-together-and_402104.jpg)

> [You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hy-gardner/you-know-you-re-getting-old-when-everything-hurts-and-what-doesn-t/)

Hy Gardner

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ade/hy-gardner-243213_age_you-know-you-re-getting-old-when-everyth_1875221.png)

> [My teacher told me to shoot for the stars, you can be anything. I told him if I do that I would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/livefree2dream44/my-teacher-told-me-to-shoot-for-the-stars-you-can-be-anything-i-told/)

Livefree2dream44

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc6/livefree2dream44-16175_clever-facebook-stat_my-teacher-told-me-to-shoot-for-the-star_1444487.jpg)

> [She has pretentious conversations about art house films. I have pretentious conversations about porno clips. We were doomed from the start …](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rudy-espinoza/she-has-pretentious-conversations-about-art-house-films-i-have/)

[Rudy Espinoza](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rudy-espinoza/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0b0/rudy-espinoza-20720_art_she-has-pretentious-conversations-about_2294257.jpg)

> [I didn't slap anyone! I was just swinging my hand in the air and someone decided to block it with his cheek.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-didn-t-slap-anyone-i-was-just-swinging-my-hand-in-the-air-and/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bca/anonymous-1_sarcasm_i-didn-t-slap-anyone-i-was-just-swinging_2323392.jpg)

> [My son Cooper has just turned ten and the sarcasm fairy has already started to take up residence inside his body. Not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-rivers/my-son-cooper-has-just-turned-ten-and-the-sarcasm-fairy-has-already/)

[Melissa Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-rivers/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ca4/melissa-rivers-27098_body_my-son-cooper-has-just-turned-ten-and-th_539366.jpg)

> [Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hussein-nishah/oh-i-m-sorry-i-didn-t-realize-you-were-an-expert-on-my-life-and-how-i/)

[Hussein Nishah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hussein-nishah/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/325/hussein-nishah-292_apology_oh-i-m-sorry-i-didn-t-realize-you-were-a_1748192.jpg)

> [I refuse to enter a wet T-Shirt Contest until my breasts look more like breasts, and less like something I should tuck…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kelli-jae-baeli/i-refuse-to-enter-a-wet-t-shirt-contest-until-my-breasts-look-more/)

[Kelli Jae Baeli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kelli-jae-baeli/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9a7/kelli-jae-baeli-21327_body_i-refuse-to-enter-a-wet-t-shirt-contest_2225505.jpg)

> [“Fine. Okay. I killed her. But I didn’t mean to. And I didn’t kill her, kill her.” “Oh, I see. As long…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-marie-moning/fine-okay-i-killed-her-but-i-didn-t-mean-to-and-i-didn-t-kill-her/)

[Karen Marie Moning](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-marie-moning/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/47b/karen-marie-moning-189_christian_fine-okay-i-killed-her-but-i-didn-t-mean_2710483.png)

> [“There’s a hell of a lot you haven’t shared.” “Oh, I’m sorry. Be sure to send out invites to the pot-meets-kettle show…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-e-jakes/there-s-a-hell-of-a-lot-you-haven-t-shared-oh-i-m-sorry-be-sure-to/)

[S.E. Jakes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-e-jakes/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/486/s-e-jakes-9172_sarcasm_there-s-a-hell-of-a-lot-you-haven-t-shar_222720.jpg)

> [A lot of people think my sarcasm comes from insecurity and defensiveness, but I assure you I'm just being petty and cruel.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-gould/a-lot-of-people-think-my-sarcasm-comes-from-insecurity-and/)

[Dana Gould](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-gould/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ce1/dana-gould-1290_defensiveness_a-lot-of-people-think-my-sarcasm-comes-f_553698.png)

> [Satire must not be a kind of superfluous ill will, but ill will from a higher point of view. Ridiculous man, divine…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-klee/satire-must-not-be-a-kind-of-superfluous-ill-will-but-ill-will-from-a/)

[Paul Klee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-klee/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1f2/paul-klee-4253_average_satire-must-not-be-a-kind-of-superfluous_1805829.jpg)

> [“What about you? What do you do?” I needed to ask questions, draw him out. I needed to find out all the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-avery-ellison/what-about-you-what-do-you-do-i-needed-to-ask-questions-draw-him-out/)

[Kate Avery Ellison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-avery-ellison/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5ca/kate-avery-ellison-28449_ask-questions_what-about-you-what-do-you-do-i-needed-t_1384.jpg)

> [“Why do you haunt me? You, like a tattoo on my tongue, like the bay leaf at the bottom of every pan.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorrie-moore/why-do-you-haunt-me-you-like-a-tattoo-on-my-tongue-like-the-bay-leaf/)

[Lorrie Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorrie-moore/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/913/lorrie-moore-870_humor_why-do-you-haunt-me-you-like-a-tattoo-on_584550.jpg)

> [“He paused at the bedroom door, shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and walked right out like it was any other…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-seville/he-paused-at-the-bedroom-door-shut-his-eyes-took-a-deep-breath-and/)

[Jane Seville](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-seville/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3f2/jane-seville-12362_awkwardness_he-paused-at-the-bedroom-door-shut-his-e_680712.jpg)

> [“Don't tell me," Jace said, "Simon's turned himself into an ocelot and you want me to do something about it before Isabelle…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cassandra-clare/don-t-tell-me-jace-said-simon-s-turned-himself-into-an-ocelot-and-you/)

[Cassandra Clare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cassandra-clare/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/3a4/cassandra-clare-9_clary-fray_don-t-tell-me-jace-said-simon-s-turned-h_1173055.jpg)

> [“It’s not complicated and it doesn’t compare to my problem, now give me a damn cookie I think I earned it,” Jill…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-l-mathewson/it-s-not-complicated-and-it-doesn-t-compare-to-my-problem-now-give-me/)

[R.L. Mathewson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-l-mathewson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02c/r-l-mathewson-3630_chris_it-s-not-complicated-and-it-doesn-t-comp_2700871.jpg)

> [“Anyway, she thinks we're going to be all right. Like she says, a positive attitude is ninety-seven percent of the battle." This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/suzanne-collins/anyway-she-thinks-we-re-going-to-be-all-right-like-she-says-a/)

[Suzanne Collins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/suzanne-collins/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19c/suzanne-collins-60_death_anyway-she-thinks-we-re-going-to-be-all_287587.jpg)

> [“I'm telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.' 'I would,' I said, 'but unfortunately, there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristin-walker/i-m-telling-you-you-really-should-stick-to-mating-within-your-species/)

[Kristin Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristin-walker/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/be8/kristin-walker-12269_death_i-m-telling-you-you-really-should-stick_2937431.jpg)

> [“never use sarcasm in an email”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-lasar/never-use-sarcasm-in-an-email/)

Matthew Lasar

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a27/matthew-lasar-103352_life-lesson_never-use-sarcasm-in-an-email-1924014_1924014.jpg)

> [“Facts are much more malleable than prejudices.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/theodore-dalrymple/facts-are-much-more-malleable-than-prejudices/)

[Theodore Dalrymple](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/theodore-dalrymple/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f7/theodore-dalrymple-7084_facts_facts-are-much-more-malleable-than-preju_275238.png)

> [Please do not shoot the pianist. He is doing his best.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oscar-wilde/please-do-not-shoot-the-pianist-he-is-doing-his-best/)

[Oscar Wilde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oscar-wilde/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/545/oscar-wilde-16_funny_please-do-not-shoot-the-pianist-he-is-do_99492.jpg)

> [“If your career doesn’t work out, write a book about it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcy-sheiner/if-your-career-doesn-t-work-out-write-a-book-about-it/)

Marcy Sheiner

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e87/marcy-sheiner-85800_book_if-your-career-doesn-t-work-out-write-a_2969031.jpg)

> [Blows are sarcasms turned stupid.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-eliot/blows-are-sarcasms-turned-stupid/)

[George Eliot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-eliot/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e8a/george-eliot-84_blow_blows-are-sarcasms-turned-stupid-2037796_2037796.png)

> [A married woman is a slave you must know how to seat upon a throne.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/honor-de-balzac/a-married-woman-is-a-slave-you-must-know-how-to-seat-upon-a-throne/)

[Honore de Balzac](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/honor-de-balzac/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/743/honor-de-balzac-197_know-how_a-married-woman-is-a-slave-you-must-know_33603.png)

> [That awkward moment when your sarcasm isn't understood in a text.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/that-awkward-moment-when-your-sarcasm-isn-t-understood-in-a-text/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/615/anonymous-1_amazing_that-awkward-moment-when-your-sarcasm-is_2781524.jpg)

> [I don't understand how some brides have 20+ bridesmaids, I mean I don't even like so many people](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/avalon/i-don-t-understand-how-some-brides-have-20-bridesmaids-i-mean-i-don-t/)

[Avalon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/avalon/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7c6/avalon-31237_bridesmaids_i-don-t-understand-how-some-brides-have_3234030.jpg)

## Top authors on Sarcasm

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- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-sherrilyn-kenyon-84925.jpg) Sherrilyn Kenyon 11 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/sherrilyn-kenyon/)
- [Mark Twain 11 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/mark-twain/)
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- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-nikhil-saluja-71464.jpg) Nikhil Saluja 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nikhil-saluja/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/terry-pratchett/)
- [SouL 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/soul/)

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                        "text": "It is a fitting irony that under Richard Nixon, 'launder' became a dirty word",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "If you don't want a sarcastic answer, then don't ask a stupid question!",
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                        "text": "You know you're getting old when everything hurts. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work.",
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                        "text": "She has pretentious conversations about art house films. I have pretentious conversations about porno clips. We were doomed from the start …",
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                        "text": "My son Cooper has just turned ten and the sarcasm fairy has already started to take up residence inside his body. Not only am I living with my mother - again! - but I've also got her mini-me to contend with.",
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                        "text": "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were an expert on my life and how I should live it. Please continue while I take notes.",
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                        "text": "I refuse to enter a wet T-Shirt Contest until my breasts look more like breasts, and less like something I should tuck into my pants.",
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                        "text": "“Fine. Okay. I killed her. But I didn’t mean to. And I didn’t kill her, kill her.” “Oh, I see. As long as you didn’t kill her, kill her, then that’s okay.”",
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                        "text": "“There’s a hell of a lot you haven’t shared.” “Oh, I’m sorry. Be sure to send out invites to the pot-meets-kettle show you’ll be throwing.” “I’m sensing sarcasm. I think being in Cajun country’s given me some of your voodoo.”",
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                        "text": "Satire must not be a kind of superfluous ill will, but ill will from a higher point of view. Ridiculous man, divine God. Or else, hatred against the bogged-down vileness of average man as against the possible heights that humanity might attain.",
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                        "text": "“What about you? What do you do?” I needed to ask questions, draw him out. I needed to find out all the information I could. My voice sounded strong and smooth, but my hands were shaking. I put them in my lap so he couldn’t see. “I prey on innocent villagers and terrify their children,” he said with a nasty smile. “And sometimes when I’m feeling really evil, I read books or paint.”",
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                        "text": "“Why do you haunt me? You, like a tattoo on my tongue, like the bay leaf at the bottom of every pan. You who sprawled out beside me and sang my horoscope to a Schubert symphony, something about travel and money again, and we lay there, both of our breaths bad, both of our underwear dangling elastic, and then you turned toward me with a gaze like two matches, putting the horoscope aside, you traced my buried ribs with your index finger, lingered at my collarbone, admiring it as one might a flying buttress, murmuring: Nice clavicle. And me, too new at it and scared, not knowing what to say, whispering: You should see my ten-speed.”",
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                        "text": "“He paused at the bedroom door, shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and walked right out like it was any other morning, and he and Jack would be having breakfast as if they hadn't had sex the night before. \"Morning,\" he said, casting a quick glance over his shoulder. \"Mmm,\" D grunted. \"You done in the bathroom?\" D blinked. No, I jus' took a little breather in the middle a my mornin' beauty ritual ta come out here 'n' chat with ya. A course I'm done. ”",
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                        "text": "“Don't tell me,\" Jace said, \"Simon's turned himself into an ocelot and you want me to do something about it before Isabelle makes him into a stole. Well, you'll have have to wait till tomorrow. I'm out of commission.\" He pointed at himself - he was wearing blue pajamas with a hole in the sleeve. \"Look. Jammies.\" \"Jace,\" Clary said, \"this is important.\" \"Don't tell me,\" he said. \"You've got a drawing emergency. You need a nude model. Well, I'm not in the mood. You could always ask Hodge,\" he said as an afterthought. \"I hear he'll do anything for a -\" \"JACE!\" she interrupted him, her voice rising to a scream. \"JUST SHUT UP FOR A SECOND AND LISTEN, WILL YOU?”",
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                        "text": "“It’s not complicated and it doesn’t compare to my problem, now give me a damn cookie I think I earned it,” Jill snapped. Chris grinned like it was Christmas morning. “Yes, you did.” He brought her a cookie. “Very good, my young one. You’ve made Chris very happy with this little tidbit of information.”",
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                        "text": "“Anyway, she thinks we're going to be all right. Like she says, a positive attitude is ninety-seven percent of the battle.\" This is so astonishingly self-absorbed, in the face of our impending deaths, that I don't even know how to respond. Maysilee, on the other hand, doesn't miss a beat. \"I'll try to keep that in mind in the arena. More ice cream?”",
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                        "text": "“I'm telling you, you really should stick to mating within your species, whatever that is.' 'I would,' I said, 'but unfortunately, there are no gorgeous, all-powerful, all-knowing gods around here. I'd even settle for a demigod. It's a step down, I know. But alas, there are nothing but low-brained mortals here. And half-brains, like you.”",
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                        "text": "“never use sarcasm in an email”",
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                        "text": "“Facts are much more malleable than prejudices.”",
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