---
title: "Famous Sarcasm Quotes"
description: "Browse 1,265 Sarcasm quotes by 760 authors. Discover the best Sarcasm sayings and thoughts."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a3/nikhil-saluja-26_facebook_nice-perfume-must-you-marinate-in-it-220_2202923.jpg"
---

> [Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/nice-perfume-must-you-marinate-in-it/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5a3/nikhil-saluja-26_facebook_nice-perfume-must-you-marinate-in-it-220_2202923.jpg)

> [I probably carry a fair amount of sarcasm in my daily life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-banks/i-probably-carry-a-fair-amount-of-sarcasm-in-my-daily-life/)

[Jonathan Banks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-banks/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b22/jonathan-banks-15550_daily_i-probably-carry-a-fair-amount-of-sarcas_201929.jpg)

> [“I'd tell you nice try, but... it wasn't.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cynder/i-d-tell-you-nice-try-but-it-wasn-t/)

[Cynder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cynder/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/761/cynder-87634_humor_i-d-tell-you-nice-try-but-it-wasn-t-2974_2974606.jpg)

> [We are suffering from too much sarcasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marianne-moore/we-are-suffering-from-too-much-sarcasm/)

[Marianne Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marianne-moore/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/21a/marianne-moore-3315_sarcasm_we-are-suffering-from-too-much-sarcasm-2_2472989.png)

> [Sarcasm was a weapon for children.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-echols/sarcasm-was-a-weapon-for-children/)

[Jennifer Echols](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-echols/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f98/jennifer-echols-943_children_sarcasm-was-a-weapon-for-children-279055_2790553.png)

> [Sarcasm & Comedy is timing! all about](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/sarcasm-comedy-is-timing-all-about/)

[Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c75/nikhil-saluja-26_comedy_sarcasm-comedy-is-timing-all-about-30577_305770.jpg)

> [“You're stubborn- anyone ever tell you that before?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carrie-ryan/you-re-stubborn-anyone-ever-tell-you-that-before/)

[Carrie Ryan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carrie-ryan/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f0c/carrie-ryan-3373_sarcasm_you-re-stubborn-anyone-ever-tell-you-tha_1086129.jpg)

> [Sarcasm doesn't translate in print at all.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-fox/sarcasm-doesn-t-translate-in-print-at-all/)

[Megan Fox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-fox/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/25b/megan-fox-1243_print_sarcasm-doesn-t-translate-in-print-at-al_2476602.jpg)

> [\*lays down to take a nap\* \*wakes up 8 hours later pissed off and confused\*](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/lays-down-to-take-a-nap-wakes-up-8-hours-later-pissed-off-and-confused/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/533/anonymous-1_pissed_lays-down-to-take-a-nap-wakes-up-8-hours_355530.jpg)

> [Pen drives are like relatives, no matter how many you have, when you really need it, you can't even find one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/pen-drives-are-like-relatives-no-matter-how-many-you-have-when-you/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e68/anonymous-1_drives_pen-drives-are-like-relatives-no-matter_2734085.jpg)

> [Twinkle, twinkle little star, who the fuck you think you are?!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ewshycrazyness/twinkle-twinkle-little-star-who-the-fuck-you-think-you-are/)

[EwshyCrazyness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ewshycrazyness/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aeb/ewshycrazyness-7486_astronomy_twinkle-twinkle-little-star-who-the-fuck_2621775.jpg)

> [“Don't read it. Just shred and burn, or your eyes will melt.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-caine/don-t-read-it-just-shred-and-burn-or-your-eyes-will-melt/)

[Rachel Caine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-caine/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4dc/rachel-caine-217_books_don-t-read-it-just-shred-and-burn-or-you_1610187.jpg)

> [“Is this the baby?" I said. Ma turned on me again. "What do you think it is?" she said. "A midget that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-saunders/is-this-the-baby-i-said-ma-turned-on-me-again-what-do-you-think-it-is/)

[George Saunders](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-saunders/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dc5/george-saunders-317_baby_is-this-the-baby-i-said-ma-turned-on-me_2873417.jpg)

> [It's cute the way you ignore the red squiggly line under all of your words.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/psyche-zeroh/it-s-cute-the-way-you-ignore-the-red-squiggly-line-under-all-of-your/)

[Psyche\_Zeroh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/psyche-zeroh/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ebe/psyche-zeroh-31967_amusement_it-s-cute-the-way-you-ignore-the-red-squ_2847828.jpg)

> [Your sarcasms brings out the wit in me,your critics d best in me,your taunts d drive I need,MY ENEMY! Oh! MY FRIEND.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nwori-joshua/your-sarcasms-brings-out-the-wit-in-me-your-critics-d-best-in-me-your/)

[Nwori Joshua](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nwori-joshua/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6dc/nwori-joshua-45532_motivation_your-sarcasms-brings-out-the-wit-in-me-y_1115221.jpg)

> [Chandler: I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/chandler-i-m-not-so-good-with-the-advice-can-i-interest-you-in-a/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/62b/anonymous-1_advice_chandler-i-m-not-so-good-with-the-advice_2324104.jpg)

> [I'm getting to enjoy the mentality of the British, the sarcasm, the dry humour. There are so many more ways of articulating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toto-wolff/i-m-getting-to-enjoy-the-mentality-of-the-british-the-sarcasm-the-dry/)

[Toto Wolff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toto-wolff/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/78c/toto-wolff-16866_british_i-m-getting-to-enjoy-the-mentality-of-th_2546748.jpg)

> [“You're playing hookey for her? You met her, what, five minutes ago? And now she's what? Your girlfriend? Did you give her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ally-blake/you-re-playing-hookey-for-her-you-met-her-what-five-minutes-ago-and/)

[Ally Blake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ally-blake/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/552/ally-blake-45176_girlfriend_you-re-playing-hookey-for-her-you-met-he_2221083.jpg)

> [“Seriously? One kiss and we’re having an existential crisis? Angie, breathe. There’s no ring on your finger. Date whoever you want. Chapter…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irina-semikop/seriously-one-kiss-and-we-re-having-an-existential-crisis-angie/)

[Irina Semikop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irina-semikop/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2a0/irina-semikop-71740_dating_seriously-one-kiss-and-we-re-having-an-e_1527761.jpg)

> [“Look at what you've done,' Sanguine said, shaking his head with mock severity. 'You have foiled out insidious little plot. You have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/derek-landy/look-at-what-you-ve-done-sanguine-said-shaking-his-head-with-mock/)

[Derek Landy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/derek-landy/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/820/derek-landy-826_funny_look-at-what-you-ve-done-sanguine-said-s_1914305.png)

> [It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-beecham/it-is-quite-untrue-that-british-people-don-t-appreciate-music-they/)

[Thomas Beecham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-beecham/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b87/thomas-beecham-15482_appreciate_it-is-quite-untrue-that-british-people-d_1746188.jpg)

> [“I know what sarcasm is.” Then she smiled deviously. “I know what sarcasm is!” Stormfather, Kaladin thought, looking into those gleeful little…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-sanderson/i-know-what-sarcasm-is-then-she-smiled-deviously-i-know-what-sarcasm/)

[Brandon Sanderson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-sanderson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ee8/brandon-sanderson-112_quote_i-know-what-sarcasm-is-then-she-smiled-d_1634556.jpg)

> [I hate it when the cashier's ask, 'Is that everything?' Uhh, no. I'd also like to purchase all of this invisible sh\*t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-hate-it-when-the-cashier-s-ask-is-that-everything-uhh-no-i-d-also/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c49/anonymous-1_cashier_i-hate-it-when-the-cashier-s-ask-is-that_2723890.jpg)

> [There's a good sense of fun and lack of sarcasm in the Texans, maybe a little earnestness which is kind of why…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rachel-griffiths/there-s-a-good-sense-of-fun-and-lack-of-sarcasm-in-the-texans-maybe-a/)

[Rachel Griffiths](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rachel-griffiths/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6c7/rachel-griffiths-23033_australia_there-s-a-good-sense-of-fun-and-lack-of_3125597.jpg)

> [Humor does not include sarcasm, invalid irony, sardonicism, innuendo, or any other form of cruelty. When these things are raised to a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-thurber/humor-does-not-include-sarcasm-invalid-irony-sardonicism-innuendo-or/)

[James Thurber](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-thurber/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad7/james-thurber-1534_comedy_humor-does-not-include-sarcasm-invalid-i_246153.jpg)

> [The best way to sell yourself to others is first to sell the others to yourself. Check yourself against this list of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harold-geneen/the-best-way-to-sell-yourself-to-others-is-first-to-sell-the-others/)

[Harold Geneen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/harold-geneen/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d4/harold-geneen-34690_advice_the-best-way-to-sell-yourself-to-others_1625246.jpg)

> [You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-degeneres/you-listen-to-any-monologue-on-late-night-tv-or-just-in-general-to/)

[Ellen DeGeneres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-degeneres/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/471/ellen-degeneres-604_comedy_you-listen-to-any-monologue-on-late-nigh_3196350.jpg)

> [“How are you feeling?" I leaned away from him. "Gross." Aiden frowned. "Gross?" "I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-l-armentrout/how-are-you-feeling-i-leaned-away-from-him-gross-aiden-frowned-gross/)

[Jennifer L. Armentrout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-l-armentrout/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0e0/jennifer-l-armentrout-96_aiden_how-are-you-feeling-i-leaned-away-from-h_797629.jpg)

> [Living, as I do, in an educated and scientific atmosphere, I could not have conceived that the first principles of zoology were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-conan-doyle/living-as-i-do-in-an-educated-and-scientific-atmosphere-i-could-not/)

[Arthur Conan Doyle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-conan-doyle/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d38/arthur-conan-doyle-273_anatomy_living-as-i-do-in-an-educated-and-scient_2911850.jpg)

> [“I thought about suicide all the time, but it seemed toomuch effort, swallowing all those pills or jumping off things. If I'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/helena-dela/i-thought-about-suicide-all-the-time-but-it-seemed-toomuch-effort/)

[Helena Dela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/helena-dela/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/987/helena-dela-99289_death_i-thought-about-suicide-all-the-time-but_2517429.jpg)

> [ “Let us treat Women as our equals, (says \[the 'blubblering dotard' xD Cato\]) and they will immediately want to become our mistresses."… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lady-sophia-fermor/let-us-treat-women-as-our-equals-says-the-blubblering-dotard-xd-cato/)

[Lady Sophia Fermor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lady-sophia-fermor/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7bd/lady-sophia-fermor-20567_18th-century_let-us-treat-women-as-our-equals-says-th_645168.jpg)

> [“Would you like to stand next to me and introduce yourself to the class?'' Smiled Mr Zimmerman, the English teacher. Nope, I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stella-coulson/would-you-like-to-stand-next-to-me-and-introduce-yourself-to-the/)

[Stella Coulson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stella-coulson/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/245/stella-coulson-67401_english-teacher_would-you-like-to-stand-next-to-me-and-i_1582728.jpg)

> [“Sarcasm: what they have in New York instead of jacuzzis.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/sarcasm-what-they-have-in-new-york-instead-of-jacuzzis/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/53d/fran-lebowitz-690_new-york_sarcasm-what-they-have-in-new-york-inste_2631252.png)

> [I'm so ready for school…to end.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-m-so-ready-for-school-to-end/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/57b/anonymous-1_being-annoyed_i-m-so-ready-for-school-to-end-3136468_3136468.jpg)

> [“He's asleep in the harbor, disguised as dog shit.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-haldeman/he-s-asleep-in-the-harbor-disguised-as-dog-shit/)

[Joe Haldeman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-haldeman/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d58/joe-haldeman-12112_dog_he-s-asleep-in-the-harbor-disguised-as-d_318984.jpg)

> [The monkey is an organized sarcasm upon the human race.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-ward-beecher/the-monkey-is-an-organized-sarcasm-upon-the-human-race/)

[Henry Ward Beecher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-ward-beecher/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96f/henry-ward-beecher-175_evolution_the-monkey-is-an-organized-sarcasm-upon_2744237.png)

> [Showing your cleavage doesn't fix your face, dear. :)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paperjam/showing-your-cleavage-doesn-t-fix-your-face-dear/)

[Paperjam](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paperjam/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/02f/paperjam-36131_bad-bitch_showing-your-cleavage-doesn-t-fix-your-f_1739374.jpg)

> [Sarcasm is a Manchester trait.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-hook/sarcasm-is-a-manchester-trait/)

[Peter Hook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-hook/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ea0/peter-hook-15768_manchester_sarcasm-is-a-manchester-trait-1312441_1312441.png)

> [Don't rush me, I'm waiting for the last minute](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/don-t-rush-me-i-m-waiting-for-the-last-minute/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/639/anonymous-1_last-minute_don-t-rush-me-i-m-waiting-for-the-last-m_306506.jpg)

> [“Please, I always use fresh sarcasm, never canned.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/please-i-always-use-fresh-sarcasm-never-canned/)

[Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/130/laurell-k-hamilton-199_canned_please-i-always-use-fresh-sarcasm-never_3102146.png)

## Top authors on Sarcasm

- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b004/author-arthur-conan-doyle-14897.jpg) Arthur Conan Doyle 30 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/arthur-conan-doyle/)
- [Nenia Campbell 20 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nenia-campbell/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b006/author-cassandra-clare-21529.jpg) Cassandra Clare 17 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/cassandra-clare/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b008/author-psyche-zeroh-31967.jpg) Psyche\_Zeroh 14 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/psyche-zeroh/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b003/author-syoung-8345.jpg) Syoung 13 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/syoung/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b001/author-ljupka-cvetanova-3477.jpg) Ljupka Cvetanova 13 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/ljupka-cvetanova/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b022/author-sherrilyn-kenyon-84925.jpg) Sherrilyn Kenyon 11 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/sherrilyn-kenyon/)
- [Mark Twain 11 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/mark-twain/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b002/author-rakii-retondo-7522.jpg) Rakii Retondo 8 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/rakii-retondo/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b018/author-nikhil-saluja-71464.jpg) Nikhil Saluja 6 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/nikhil-saluja/)
- [ ![](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/uploads/sms4s/authors/processed/b023/author-terry-pratchett-89528.jpg) Terry Pratchett 5 quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/terry-pratchett/)
- [SouL 5 quotes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sarcasm/soul/)

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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "*lays down to take a nap* *wakes up 8 hours later pissed off and confused*",
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                        "text": "Twinkle, twinkle little star, who the fuck you think you are?!",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Is this the baby?\" I said. Ma turned on me again. \"What do you think it is?\" she said. \"A midget that can't talk?”",
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                        "text": "It's cute the way you ignore the red squiggly line under all of your words.",
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                        "text": "Your sarcasms brings out the wit in me,your critics d best in me,your taunts d drive I need,MY ENEMY! Oh! MY FRIEND.",
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                        "text": "Chandler: I'm not so good with the advice... Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?",
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                        "text": "I'm getting to enjoy the mentality of the British, the sarcasm, the dry humour. There are so many more ways of articulating yourself than in German.",
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                        "text": "“You're playing hookey for her? You met her, what, five minutes ago? And now she's what? Your girlfriend? Did you give her your varsity jacket?”",
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                        "text": "“Seriously? One kiss and we’re having an existential crisis? Angie, breathe. There’s no ring on your finger. Date whoever you want. Chapter 24”",
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                        "text": "“Look at what you've done,' Sanguine said, shaking his head with mock severity. 'You have foiled out insidious little plot. You have emerged triumphant and victorious. Curse you, do-gooders. Curse you.”",
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                        "text": "It is quite untrue that British people don't appreciate music. They may not understand it but they absolutely love the noise it makes.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I know what sarcasm is.” Then she smiled deviously. “I know what sarcasm is!” Stormfather, Kaladin thought, looking into those gleeful little eyes. That strikes me as ominous.”",
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                            "caption": "“I know what sarcasm is.” Then she smiled deviously. “I know what sarcasm is!” Stormfather, Kaladin thought…” — Brandon Sanderson",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "I hate it when the cashier's ask, 'Is that everything?' Uhh, no. I'd also like to purchase all of this invisible sh*t as well...",
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                        "text": "There's a good sense of fun and lack of sarcasm in the Texans, maybe a little earnestness which is kind of why I found it quite Australian.",
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                        "text": "Humor does not include sarcasm, invalid irony, sardonicism, innuendo, or any other form of cruelty. When these things are raised to a high point they can become wit, but unlike the French and the English, we have not been much good at wit since the days of Benjamin Franklin.",
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                        "text": "The best way to sell yourself to others is first to sell the others to yourself. Check yourself against this list of obstacles to a pleasing personality: interrupting others; sarcasm; vanity; being a poor listener; insincere flattery; finding fault; challenging others without good cause; giving unsolicited advice; complaining; attitude of superiority; envy of others' success; poor posture and dress.",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a joke at someone's expense. It's sarcasm; it's nasty. Kids grow up hearing that, and they think that's what humor is, and they think it's OK. But that negativity permeates the entire planet.",
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                            "caption": "“You listen to any monologue on late-night TV or just in general, to people talking, and there's always a…” — Ellen DeGeneres",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“How are you feeling?\" I leaned away from him. \"Gross.\" Aiden frowned. \"Gross?\" \"I haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face in days. Don't come near me.\" He laughed. \"Alex, come on.\" \"Seriously, I'm gross.\" I put my hand over my mouth. Ignoring my protests, he leaned over and brushed my string hair back. \"You're as beautiful as always, Alex.\" I stared at him. He must not get out much.”",
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                            "name": "Jennifer L. Armentrout"
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                            "caption": "“How are you feeling?\" I leaned away from him. \"Gross.\" Aiden frowned. \"Gross?\" \"I haven't brushed my teeth…” — Jennifer L. Armentrout",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "Living, as I do, in an educated and scientific atmosphere, I could not have conceived that the first principles of zoology were so little known. Is it possible that you do not know the elementary fact in comparative anatomy, that the wing of a bird is really the forearm, while the wing of a bat consists of three elongated fingers with membranes between?",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“I thought about suicide all the time, but it seemed toomuch effort, swallowing all those pills or jumping off things. If I'd lived out in the country I would have found a quiet stretch of railway track, and lain on it, fallen asleep, so that I would never have known when my last moment came. In London, the minimum tube fare had gone up so much that even to get near the line cost a fortune. Suicide seemed an extravagance I couldn't afford. People never leave you alone, either; I knew that if I'd tried to lie down on the line, any number of commuters would have pulled me off again, so that I didn't delay their train. There must have been murderers out there who wanted to kill, with no way of finding those who wanted to be dead. If there had been some way of contacting them, a date-with-death line, I would have called them to set up a meeting. The current ways of death seemed too haphazard; it was all left up to chance. Had Chance come up, tapped me on the shoulder, said \"Oi, you - long black tunnel, white light, off you go,\" I wouldn't have complained. It was like having frostbite all over - feeling numb and in pain at the same time.”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Let us treat Women as our equals, (says [the 'blubblering dotard' xD Cato]) and they will immediately want to become our mistresses.\" 'Tis Cato says it, and therefore there needs no proof. Besides, to oblige men to prove all they advance by reason, wou'd be imposing silence upon them; a grievance to which they are perhaps full as unequal as they pretend we are. But granting Cato to be infallible in his assertions, what then? Have not Women as much right to be mistresses, as the Men have to be masters? No, says Cato. But why? Because they have not. Such convincing arguments must make us fond of hearing him farther. If we make the Women our equals, \"they will demand that to-morrow as a tribute, which they receive to-day as a grace.\" But where is the grace in granting us a share in what we have an equal right to? Have not the Women an equal claim to power and dignity with the Men?”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Would you like to stand next to me and introduce yourself to the class?'' Smiled Mr Zimmerman, the English teacher. Nope, I would rather turn into bat! Leave me the heck alone. Ughh, why is it teachers ask ' Would you like to?' No teen ever wants to stand in front of strangers and be forced to talk about them. - Lenore Lee from Whitby After Dark”",
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                        "@type": "Quotation",
                        "text": "“Sarcasm: what they have in New York instead of jacuzzis.”",
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