--- title: "20 Said Quotes By Tim Vine" description: "20 Said quotes by Tim Vine. Plus more from Tim Vine and more Said sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/268/tim-vine-9978_baths_so-i-rang-up-my-local-swimming-baths-i-s_1206472.jpg" --- > [So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-rang-up-my-local-swimming-baths-i-said-is-that-the-local/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/268/tim-vine-9978_baths_so-i-rang-up-my-local-swimming-baths-i-s_1206472.jpg) > [I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best Before End...'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/i-bought-some-armageddon-cheese-today-and-it-said-on-the-packet-best/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2fa/tim-vine-9978_armageddon_i-bought-some-armageddon-cheese-today-an_1330267.jpg) > [I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/i-went-to-the-doctor-i-said-to-him-i-m-frightened-of-lapels-he-said/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ba1/tim-vine-9978_cholera_i-went-to-the-doctor-i-said-to-him-i-m-f_2014210.jpg) > [When I left home, my mum said "Don't forget to write", I thought, "That's unlikely"... It's a basic skill isn't it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/when-i-left-home-my-mum-said-don-t-forget-to-write-i-thought-that-s/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/37b/tim-vine-9978_forget_when-i-left-home-my-mum-said-don-t-forge_2363410.jpg) > [I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." The bloke said "Kenwood" I said, "Where is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/i-went-into-a-shop-and-i-said-can-someone-sell-me-a-kettle-the-bloke/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/161/tim-vine-9978_blokes_i-went-into-a-shop-and-i-said-can-someon_1221886.jpg) > [My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him, ‘Don’t be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fancy-dress-party-as-an-italian/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/285/tim-vine-9978_dresses_my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fanc_24075.jpg) > [So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, "Are you having me on?" I said, "Well I'll give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-told-my-mum-that-i-d-opened-a-theatre-she-said-are-you-having-me/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/576/tim-vine-9978_auditions_so-i-told-my-mum-that-i-d-opened-a-theat_1391628.jpg) > [My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/my-mate-asked-me-what-do-you-think-of-voluntary-work-i-said-i-wouldn/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c90/tim-vine-9978_funny_my-mate-asked-me-what-do-you-think-of-vo_281956.jpg) > [I saw this train driver and said, 'I wanna go to Paris.' He said, 'Eurostar?' I said, 'Well I've been on telly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/i-saw-this-train-driver-and-said-i-wanna-go-to-paris-he-said-eurostar/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/78d/tim-vine-9978_dean_i-saw-this-train-driver-and-said-i-wanna_3014287.jpg) > [Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/now-most-dentist-s-chairs-go-up-and-down-don-t-they-the-one-i-was-in/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/096/tim-vine-9978_chairs_now-most-dentist-s-chairs-go-up-and-down_1278979.jpg) > [So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?' I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-went-down-my-local-ice-cream-shop-and-said-i-want-to-buy-an-ice/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f8f/tim-vine-9978_amount_so-i-went-down-my-local-ice-cream-shop-a_1671138.jpg) > [This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, "I want you to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/this-policeman-came-up-to-me-with-a-pencil-and-a-piece-of-very-thin/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a2/tim-vine-9978_funny_this-policeman-came-up-to-me-with-a-penc_3111447.jpg) > [So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-was-getting-into-my-car-and-this-bloke-says-to-me-can-you-give/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a3/tim-vine-9978_car_so-i-was-getting-into-my-car-and-this-bl_1480681.jpg) > [So I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-went-down-the-local-supermarket-i-said-i-want-to-make-a/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cf4/tim-vine-9978_complaints_so-i-went-down-the-local-supermarket-i-s_1995357.jpg) > [My friend told me he was going to a fancy-dress party as an Italian island. I said: 'Don’t be Sicily’.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fancy-dress-party-as-an-italian-2/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a5/tim-vine-9978_dresses_my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fanc_862862.jpg) > [So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-fancied-a-game-of-darts-with-my-mate-he-said-nearest-the-bull/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69d/tim-vine-9978_bulls_so-i-fancied-a-game-of-darts-with-my-mat_2548378.jpg) > [So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-went-to-buy-a-watch-and-the-man-in-the-shop-said-analogue-i-said/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/709/tim-vine-9978_analogue_so-i-went-to-buy-a-watch-and-the-man-in_1047964.jpg) > [So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-got-home-and-the-phone-was-ringing-i-picked-it-up-and-said-who-s/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/53e/tim-vine-9978_home_so-i-got-home-and-the-phone-was-ringing_265913.jpg) > [So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-went-in-to-a-pet-shop-i-said-can-i-buy-a-goldfish-the-guy-said/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a99/tim-vine-9978_aquariums_so-i-went-in-to-a-pet-shop-i-said-can-i_567693.jpg) > [So I said to the gym instructor: 'Can you teach me to do the splits?' He said: 'How flexible are you?' I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-said-to-the-gym-instructor-can-you-teach-me-to-do-the-splits-he/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b2f/tim-vine-9978_flexible_so-i-said-to-the-gym-instructor-can-you_2155434.jpg) ## Other authors on Said ## More by Tim Vine > [If you do weave one-liners into a story, you have to have an overall story as well, otherwise it doesn't really count as narrative.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/if-you-do-weave-one-liners-into-a-story-you-have-to-have-an-overall/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/crime-in-multi-storey-car-parks-that-is-wrong-on-so-many-different/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [I'd like to start with the chimney jokes - I've got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/i-d-like-to-start-with-the-chimney-jokes-i-ve-got-a-stack-of-them-the/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him, ‘Don’t be Sicily’.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fancy-dress-party-as-an-italian/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/i-was-in-this-restaurant-and-i-asked-for-something-herby-they-gave-me/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [So I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said 'Who's speaking please?' And a voice said 'You are.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-got-home-and-the-phone-was-ringing-i-picked-it-up-and-said-who-s/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?" I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/my-mate-asked-me-what-do-you-think-of-voluntary-work-i-said-i-wouldn/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-went-to-the-chinese-restaurant-and-this-duck-came-up-to-me-with/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [You see my next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes, he's a catholic converter.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/you-see-my-next-door-neighbour-worships-exhaust-pipes-he-s-a-catholic/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [Velcro: what a rip-off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/velcro-what-a-rip-off/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [I'm not someone who gets to play The O2 and places like that, but that's the kind of rock and roll venue. The popularity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/i-m-not-someone-who-gets-to-play-the-o2-and-places-like-that-but-that/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-went-in-to-a-pet-shop-i-said-can-i-buy-a-goldfish-the-guy-said/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [People ask 'do you make a conscious effort not to swear?' - if you're doing silly stuff you're not tempted to put swearing in.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/people-ask-do-you-make-a-conscious-effort-not-to-swear-if-you-re/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [People think that because of my act that I must have a really busy mind and I must be driven. I really am not.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/people-think-that-because-of-my-act-that-i-must-have-a-really-busy/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) > [Ive decided to sell my Hoover… well, it was just collecting dust.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/ive-decided-to-sell-my-hoover-well-it-was-just-collecting-dust/) [Tim Vine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-vine/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/said/tim-vine/#itemlist", "name": "20 Said Quotes By Tim Vine", "numberOfItems": 20, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' 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I said to him, ‘Don’t be Sicily’.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Vine" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fancy-dress-party-as-an-italian/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/285/tim-vine-9978_dresses_my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fanc_24075.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/285/tim-vine-9978_dresses_my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fanc_24075.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/285/tim-vine-9978_dresses_my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fanc_24075.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him, ‘Don’t be Sicily’.” — Tim Vine", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 7, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. She said, \"Are you having me on?\" I said, \"Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you anything.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Vine" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-told-my-mum-that-i-d-opened-a-theatre-she-said-are-you-having-me/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/576/tim-vine-9978_auditions_so-i-told-my-mum-that-i-d-opened-a-theat_1391628.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/576/tim-vine-9978_auditions_so-i-told-my-mum-that-i-d-opened-a-theat_1391628.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/576/tim-vine-9978_auditions_so-i-told-my-mum-that-i-d-opened-a-theat_1391628.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. 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He said, 'Eurostar?' I said, 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin.' Mind you, at least the Eurostar's comfy. It's murder on the Orient Express isn't it?", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Vine" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/i-saw-this-train-driver-and-said-i-wanna-go-to-paris-he-said-eurostar/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/78d/tim-vine-9978_dean_i-saw-this-train-driver-and-said-i-wanna_3014287.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/78d/tim-vine-9978_dean_i-saw-this-train-driver-and-said-i-wanna_3014287.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/78d/tim-vine-9978_dean_i-saw-this-train-driver-and-said-i-wanna_3014287.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I saw this train driver and said, 'I wanna go to Paris.' He said, 'Eurostar?' I said, 'Well I've been on…” — Tim Vine", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Vine" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/now-most-dentist-s-chairs-go-up-and-down-don-t-they-the-one-i-was-in/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/096/tim-vine-9978_chairs_now-most-dentist-s-chairs-go-up-and-down_1278979.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/096/tim-vine-9978_chairs_now-most-dentist-s-chairs-go-up-and-down_1278979.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/096/tim-vine-9978_chairs_now-most-dentist-s-chairs-go-up-and-down_1278979.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought…” — Tim Vine", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one.' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Vine" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-went-down-my-local-ice-cream-shop-and-said-i-want-to-buy-an-ice/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f8f/tim-vine-9978_amount_so-i-went-down-my-local-ice-cream-shop-a_1671138.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f8f/tim-vine-9978_amount_so-i-went-down-my-local-ice-cream-shop-a_1671138.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f8f/tim-vine-9978_amount_so-i-went-down-my-local-ice-cream-shop-a_1671138.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds &…” — Tim Vine", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 12, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, \"I want you to trace someone for me.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Vine" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/this-policeman-came-up-to-me-with-a-pencil-and-a-piece-of-very-thin/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a2/tim-vine-9978_funny_this-policeman-came-up-to-me-with-a-penc_3111447.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a2/tim-vine-9978_funny_this-policeman-came-up-to-me-with-a-penc_3111447.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a2/tim-vine-9978_funny_this-policeman-came-up-to-me-with-a-penc_3111447.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, \"I want you to trace…” — Tim Vine", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 13, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' I said 'Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Vine" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-was-getting-into-my-car-and-this-bloke-says-to-me-can-you-give/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a3/tim-vine-9978_car_so-i-was-getting-into-my-car-and-this-bl_1480681.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a3/tim-vine-9978_car_so-i-was-getting-into-my-car-and-this-bl_1480681.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a3/tim-vine-9978_car_so-i-was-getting-into-my-car-and-this-bl_1480681.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me 'Can you give me a lift?' 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I said: 'Don’t be Sicily’.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Vine" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fancy-dress-party-as-an-italian-2/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a5/tim-vine-9978_dresses_my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fanc_862862.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a5/tim-vine-9978_dresses_my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fanc_862862.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0a5/tim-vine-9978_dresses_my-friend-told-me-he-was-going-to-a-fanc_862862.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“My friend told me he was going to a fancy-dress party as an Italian island. I said: 'Don’t be Sicily’.” — Tim Vine", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 16, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.'", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Tim Vine" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-vine/so-i-fancied-a-game-of-darts-with-my-mate-he-said-nearest-the-bull/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69d/tim-vine-9978_bulls_so-i-fancied-a-game-of-darts-with-my-mat_2548378.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69d/tim-vine-9978_bulls_so-i-fancied-a-game-of-darts-with-my-mat_2548378.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69d/tim-vine-9978_bulls_so-i-fancied-a-game-of-darts-with-my-mat_2548378.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' 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