--- title: "11 Said Quotes By Rita Rudner" description: "11 Said quotes by Rita Rudner. Plus more from Rita Rudner and more Said sayings from other authors." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfc/rita-rudner-1679_aerobics_the-word-aerobics-came-about-when-the-gy_238353.png" --- > [The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/the-word-aerobics-came-about-when-the-gym-instructors-got-together/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfc/rita-rudner-1679_aerobics_the-word-aerobics-came-about-when-the-gy_238353.png) > [Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. There's no end to the game. Finally I grabbed him by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/never-play-peek-a-boo-with-a-child-on-a-long-plane-trip-there-s-no/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e36/rita-rudner-1679_children_never-play-peek-a-boo-with-a-child-on-a_1722736.png) > [There is a woman who swam around Manhattan, and I asked her, why? She said, it hadn't ever been done before. Well,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/there-is-a-woman-who-swam-around-manhattan-and-i-asked-her-why-she/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f16/rita-rudner-1679_apartment_there-is-a-woman-who-swam-around-manhatt_2463714.png) > [Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/halloween-was-confusing-all-my-life-my-parents-said-never-take-candy/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd5/rita-rudner-1679_candy_halloween-was-confusing-all-my-life-my-p_663070.jpg) > [I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/i-never-know-what-to-get-my-father-for-his-birthday-i-gave-him-a/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b7/rita-rudner-1679_birth_i-never-know-what-to-get-my-father-for-h_1067833.png) > [Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say "Thank you." That's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/waiters-and-waitresses-are-becoming-nicer-and-much-more-caring-i-used/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/847/rita-rudner-1679_becoming_waiters-and-waitresses-are-becoming-nice_697281.png) > [Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/men-hate-to-lose-i-once-beat-my-husband-at-tennis-i-asked-him-are-we/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40e/rita-rudner-1679_beats_men-hate-to-lose-i-once-beat-my-husband_827577.png) > [I started taking ballet lessons when I was 4, and I was performing in ballet companies when I was 10, and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/i-started-taking-ballet-lessons-when-i-was-4-and-i-was-performing-in/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6b7/rita-rudner-1679_ballet_i-started-taking-ballet-lessons-when-i-w_1663610.png) > [I'm not sure if my husband is going to be there when I actually have the baby. He said the only way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/i-m-not-sure-if-my-husband-is-going-to-be-there-when-i-actually-have/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/578/rita-rudner-1679_baby_i-m-not-sure-if-my-husband-is-going-to-b_1121235.png) > [I did six Broadway shows, and I noticed there weren't many female comedians. When I went to a dancing audition, there were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/i-did-six-broadway-shows-and-i-noticed-there-weren-t-many-female/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d03/rita-rudner-1679_audition_i-did-six-broadway-shows-and-i-noticed-t_682905.png) > [Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/halloween-was-confusing-all-my-life-my-parents-said-never-take-candy-2/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) [Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a4c/rita-rudner-1679_candy_halloween-was-confusing-all-my-life-my-p_1704109.png) ## Other authors on Said ## More by Rita Rudner > [I worry about Las Vegas schools. I hear in math, they only teach them to count to 21.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/i-worry-about-las-vegas-schools-i-hear-in-math-they-only-teach-them/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [Most men are secretly still mad at their mothers for throwing away their comic books. They would be valuable now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/most-men-are-secretly-still-mad-at-their-mothers-for-throwing-away/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/going-out-to-eat-is-expensive-i-was-out-at-one-restaurant-and-they/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [Men are very confident people. Even a sixty-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/men-are-very-confident-people-even-a-sixty-year-old-man-with-no-arms/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary; the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/envy-the-kangaroo-that-pouch-setup-is-extraordinary-the-baby-crawls/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/the-way-a-man-looks-at-himself-in-a-mirror-will-tell-you-if-he-can/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/they-usually-have-two-tellers-in-my-local-bank-except-when-it-s-very/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/when-you-re-a-dancer-you-start-with-the-basics-you-don-t-all-of-a/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [My Vegas act is how I make my money.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/my-vegas-act-is-how-i-make-my-money/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/men-are-self-confident-because-they-grow-up-identifying-with-super/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/we-ve-begun-to-long-for-the-pitter-patter-of-little-feet-so-we-bought/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [... life is broken down into these stages: you're born and you don't know how anything works; gradually you find out how everything works;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/life-is-broken-down-into-these-stages-you-re-born-and-you-don-t-know/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [We live in Los Angeles, where you are expected to move every two to four years, so people can see how well your career…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/we-live-in-los-angeles-where-you-are-expected-to-move-every-two-to/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/a-good-place-to-meet-a-man-is-at-the-dry-cleaner-these-men-usually/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) > [I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/i-have-been-doing-leg-lifts-faithfully-for-about-fifteen-years-and/) [Rita Rudner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rita-rudner/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "ItemList", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/said/rita-rudner/#itemlist", "name": "11 Said Quotes By Rita Rudner", "numberOfItems": 11, "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Rita Rudner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/the-word-aerobics-came-about-when-the-gym-instructors-got-together/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfc/rita-rudner-1679_aerobics_the-word-aerobics-came-about-when-the-gy_238353.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfc/rita-rudner-1679_aerobics_the-word-aerobics-came-about-when-the-gy_238353.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cfc/rita-rudner-1679_aerobics_the-word-aerobics-came-about-when-the-gy_238353.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10…” — Rita Rudner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Never play peek-a-boo with a child on a long plane trip. 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I'd knock on people's doors and go, \"Trick or treat.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Rita Rudner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/halloween-was-confusing-all-my-life-my-parents-said-never-take-candy/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd5/rita-rudner-1679_candy_halloween-was-confusing-all-my-life-my-p_663070.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd5/rita-rudner-1679_candy_halloween-was-confusing-all-my-life-my-p_663070.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fd5/rita-rudner-1679_candy_halloween-was-confusing-all-my-life-my-p_663070.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Halloween was confusing. 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So he went out and bought a present for my mother.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Rita Rudner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/i-never-know-what-to-get-my-father-for-his-birthday-i-gave-him-a/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b7/rita-rudner-1679_birth_i-never-know-what-to-get-my-father-for-h_1067833.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b7/rita-rudner-1679_birth_i-never-know-what-to-get-my-father-for-h_1067833.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b7/rita-rudner-1679_birth_i-never-know-what-to-get-my-father-for-h_1067833.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I never know what to get my father for his birthday. 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I used to pay my check, they would say \"Thank you.\" That's now escalated into \"You care care of yourself, now.\" The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, \"Don't put off that mammogram.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Rita Rudner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/waiters-and-waitresses-are-becoming-nicer-and-much-more-caring-i-used/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/847/rita-rudner-1679_becoming_waiters-and-waitresses-are-becoming-nice_697281.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/847/rita-rudner-1679_becoming_waiters-and-waitresses-are-becoming-nice_697281.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/847/rita-rudner-1679_becoming_waiters-and-waitresses-are-becoming-nice_697281.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. 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I asked him, \"Are we going to have sex again?\" He said, \"Yes, but not with each other.\"", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Rita Rudner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/men-hate-to-lose-i-once-beat-my-husband-at-tennis-i-asked-him-are-we/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40e/rita-rudner-1679_beats_men-hate-to-lose-i-once-beat-my-husband_827577.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40e/rita-rudner-1679_beats_men-hate-to-lose-i-once-beat-my-husband_827577.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/40e/rita-rudner-1679_beats_men-hate-to-lose-i-once-beat-my-husband_827577.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. 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He said the only way he's going to be in the room when there's a delivery is if there's a pizza involved.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Rita Rudner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/i-m-not-sure-if-my-husband-is-going-to-be-there-when-i-actually-have/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/578/rita-rudner-1679_baby_i-m-not-sure-if-my-husband-is-going-to-b_1121235.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/578/rita-rudner-1679_baby_i-m-not-sure-if-my-husband-is-going-to-b_1121235.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/578/rita-rudner-1679_baby_i-m-not-sure-if-my-husband-is-going-to-b_1121235.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I'm not sure if my husband is going to be there when I actually have the baby. He said the only way he's…” — Rita Rudner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 10, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I did six Broadway shows, and I noticed there weren't many female comedians. When I went to a dancing audition, there were 1,000 girls. And there were three jobs. So I said I'll just try comedy. And I loved it.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Rita Rudner" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rita-rudner/i-did-six-broadway-shows-and-i-noticed-there-weren-t-many-female/", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d03/rita-rudner-1679_audition_i-did-six-broadway-shows-and-i-noticed-t_682905.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d03/rita-rudner-1679_audition_i-did-six-broadway-shows-and-i-noticed-t_682905.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d03/rita-rudner-1679_audition_i-did-six-broadway-shows-and-i-noticed-t_682905.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I did six Broadway shows, and I noticed there weren't many female comedians. When I went to a dancing…” — Rita Rudner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } } }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 11, "item": { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Halloween was confusing. 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