---
title: "18 Said Quotes By Kevin Hearne"
description: "18 Said quotes by Kevin Hearne. Plus more from Kevin Hearne and more Said sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ae/kevin-hearne-991_giving_when-he-said-to-give-him-the-sword-i-don_91291.jpg"
---

> [When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/when-he-said-to-give-him-the-sword-i-don-t-think-he-meant-for-you-to/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ae/kevin-hearne-991_giving_when-he-said-to-give-him-the-sword-i-don_91291.jpg)

> [Poison?" she (Granuaile)said,"I hope it isn't iocane powder.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/poison-she-granuaile-said-i-hope-it-isn-t-iocane-powder/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/676/kevin-hearne-991_poison_poison-she-granuaile-said-i-hope-it-isn_784462.jpg)

> [You will respect my authori-tah!' Oberon said, in a passable imitation of Eric Cartman. I reminded him that I needed to concentrate.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/you-will-respect-my-authori-tah-oberon-said-in-a-passable-imitation/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eec/kevin-hearne-991_dog_you-will-respect-my-authori-tah-oberon-s_639227.jpg)

> [I hoped you would consider it seriously instead of laughing at it.' 'Mr. Chamkanni said much the same thing in bed the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/i-hoped-you-would-consider-it-seriously-instead-of-laughing-at-it-mr/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1e/kevin-hearne-991_bed_i-hoped-you-would-consider-it-seriously_3054573.jpg)

> [That’s what a skinwalker is: a mean asshole with a meaner spirit squatting inside.” "I’ve run into some of those at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/that-s-what-a-skinwalker-is-a-mean-asshole-with-a-meaner-spirit-2/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e43/kevin-hearne-991_chihuahua_that-s-what-a-skinwalker-is-a-mean-assho_2119305.jpg)

> [Ye know what me Sean used to say, God rest his soul? He said, 'A friend will help ye move, Katie, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/ye-know-what-me-sean-used-to-say-god-rest-his-soul-he-said-a-friend/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/84b/kevin-hearne-991_body_ye-know-what-me-sean-used-to-say-god-res_930533.jpg)

> [Peace be with you," I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, "and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/peace-be-with-you-i-said-and-as-i-turned-to-resume-my-journey-with/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2ed/kevin-hearne-991_coyotes_peace-be-with-you-i-said-and-as-i-turned_3232157.jpg)

> [She's kind of like a Mary Poppins just before she turns to the dark side of the Force," Oberon said. He was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/she-s-kind-of-like-a-mary-poppins-just-before-she-turns-to-the-dark/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b8c/kevin-hearne-991_behinds_she-s-kind-of-like-a-mary-poppins-just-b_631029.jpg)

> [That is a noble idea, though I think it far to generous," Jupiter said. "Once a decade should be sufficient." "I would…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/that-is-a-noble-idea-though-i-think-it-far-to-generous-jupiter-said/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/797/kevin-hearne-991_amazed_that-is-a-noble-idea-though-i-think-it-f_1734140.jpg)

> [The widow’s eyebrows raised. “Ye’ve got all these nasty pooches to run around with and ye still might die?” “I’m going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/the-widow-s-eyebrows-raised-ye-ve-got-all-these-nasty-pooches-to-run/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e86/kevin-hearne-991_call-me_the-widow-s-eyebrows-raised-ye-ve-got-al_2304615.jpg)

> [Aw, no. You’re taking us to that vegetarian place, aren’t you? It’s a coffee place. You can’t just automatically classify anything that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/aw-no-you-re-taking-us-to-that-vegetarian-place-aren-t-you-it-s-a/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/72d/kevin-hearne-991_america_aw-no-you-re-taking-us-to-that-vegetaria_1726730.jpg)

> [Wooo!’ he said, slamming his shot glass down and coughing a bit. ‘That’s good stuff.’ I agreed heartily. ‘Shall we do another…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/wooo-he-said-slamming-his-shot-glass-down-and-coughing-a-bit-that-s/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae7/kevin-hearne-991_coughing_wooo-he-said-slamming-his-shot-glass-dow_2990773.jpg)

> [Oh noes, kitteh haz major angriez!” I said. I turned around to share a laugh with my companions and found them glaring…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/oh-noes-kitteh-haz-major-angriez-i-said-i-turned-around-to-share-a/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b83/kevin-hearne-991_companion_oh-noes-kitteh-haz-major-angriez-i-said_354663.jpg)

> [Oh. Oberon looked at me. I know that has to make you sad. But call to me instead, Atticus. I'll always answer.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/oh-oberon-looked-at-me-i-know-that-has-to-make-you-sad-but-call-to-me/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7e2/kevin-hearne-991_answers_oh-oberon-looked-at-me-i-know-that-has-t_965171.jpg)

> [Thank you, Morrigan. This is very helpful,” I said, already feeling myself warming up. “And delivered to me entirely without pain.” The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/thank-you-morrigan-this-is-very-helpful-i-said-already-feeling-myself/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/189/kevin-hearne-991_faces_thank-you-morrigan-this-is-very-helpful_2605158.jpg)

> [Here is how you know someone has had a good idea: Other people freely admit to their friends that said idea has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/here-is-how-you-know-someone-has-had-a-good-idea-other-people-freely/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/56c/kevin-hearne-991_all-time_here-is-how-you-know-someone-has-had-a-g_2293834.jpg)

> [For me, the times I always regret are missed opportunities to say farewell to good people, to wish them long life and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/for-me-the-times-i-always-regret-are-missed-opportunities-to-say/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/142/kevin-hearne-991_arise_for-me-the-times-i-always-regret-are-mis_534601.jpg)

> [Granuaile looked terminally depressed when she emerged from the bathroom with raven hair and, as a result rather Goth by accident. She…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/granuaile-looked-terminally-depressed-when-she-emerged-from-the/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8d8/kevin-hearne-991_accidents_granuaile-looked-terminally-depressed-wh_2128267.jpg)

## Other authors on Said

## More by Kevin Hearne

> [Whoa. He had ghouls on speed dial. My lawyer kicks so much ass.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/whoa-he-had-ghouls-on-speed-dial-my-lawyer-kicks-so-much-ass/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [“I bet it’s a universal truth: You eat your pie or go home.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/i-bet-it-s-a-universal-truth-you-eat-your-pie-or-go-home/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [“Like many silly codes of bravery and manliness, the meat of my father’s instruction on how to die well can be distilled to a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/like-many-silly-codes-of-bravery-and-manliness-the-meat-of-my-father/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [Wow you need to get some sun.” “Shut up. I'm Irish.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/wow-you-need-to-get-some-sun-shut-up-i-m-irish/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [“Hence the reason I encourage you to believe what you wish. The heaven of teh Pastafarians is supposed to have beer volcanoes, which sounds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/hence-the-reason-i-encourage-you-to-believe-what-you-wish-the-heaven/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [Awesome! I'd just bullied Jesus into doing a shot with me. Nobody would ever believe it, but I didn't care. We ordered the insanely…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/awesome-i-d-just-bullied-jesus-into-doing-a-shot-with-me-nobody-would/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [“I thought for the longest time that chicken-fried steak was steak that had been fried by specially trained chickens,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/i-thought-for-the-longest-time-that-chicken-fried-steak-was-steak/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [When he said to give him the sword, I don’t think he meant for you to stick it in his guts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/when-he-said-to-give-him-the-sword-i-don-t-think-he-meant-for-you-to/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [“Oh sweet kraken tits.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/oh-sweet-kraken-tits/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [“No. See, when you throw up you're vomiting, but when you throw down you're starting a fight, as in throwing down the gauntlet." "Ohhhh,"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/no-see-when-you-throw-up-you-re-vomiting-but-when-you-throw-down-you/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [“The grin on his face wasn’t the affable, friendly sort; instead, it was the sociopathic rictus of the irretrievably, bug-fuckeringly insane”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/the-grin-on-his-face-wasn-t-the-affable-friendly-sort-instead-it-was/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [“What sealed the deal for me was that the cloak wouldn't come off without a generous donation of my tears. Those used to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/what-sealed-the-deal-for-me-was-that-the-cloak-wouldn-t-come-off/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [On a Creep Scale from Hello Kitty to Cthulhu, I award it a Freddy Krueger. Granuaile MacTiernan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/on-a-creep-scale-from-hello-kitty-to-cthulhu-i-award-it-a-freddy/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [“So this means you're spoiling me right?" Can't Help it. You're the best hound ever. Oberon's tail thumped a few times and his mouth…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/so-this-means-you-re-spoiling-me-right-can-t-help-it-you-re-the-best/)

[Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

> [“Out, out, thou strumpet Fortune!" I cried with all the venom of Charlton Heston. Oberon asked. "It's a Shakespearean word for whore." ”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/out-out-thou-strumpet-fortune-i-cried-with-all-the-venom-of-charlton/)

[kevin hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/)

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                        "text": "Peace be with you,\" I said, and as I turned to resume my journey with Coyote, I added under my breath, \"and asskicking be with me.",
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                        "text": "She's kind of like a Mary Poppins just before she turns to the dark side of the Force,\" Oberon said. He was still behind the counter, but he had a good lok at her as she exited. \"Let go of your anger, Malina! There's still good in you! The Emperor hasn't driven it from you fully!",
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                        "text": "That is a noble idea, though I think it far to generous,\" Jupiter said. \"Once a decade should be sufficient.\" \"I would rather be too generous than not in such cases.\" \"As you wish.\" [One day, Atticus was amazed to discover that when Jupiter said, \"As you wish,\" what he really meant was \"I love you.\"]",
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                        "text": "The widow’s eyebrows raised. “Ye’ve got all these nasty pooches to run around with and ye still might die?” “I’m going to go fight with a god, some demons, and a coven of witches who all want to kill me,” I said, “so it’s a distinct possibility.” “Are y’goin’ t’kill ’em back?” “I’d certainly like to.” “Attaboy,” the widow chuckled. “Off y’go, then. Kill every last one o’ the bastards and call me in the mornin’.",
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                        "text": "Aw, no. You’re taking us to that vegetarian place, aren’t you? It’s a coffee place. You can’t just automatically classify anything that isn’t a steak house as vegetarian. Yes, I can. This is America. You said Americans assert their own opinions as if they were facts and dismiss inconvenient facts as mere opinions.",
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                        "text": "Wooo!’ he said, slamming his shot glass down and coughing a bit. ‘That’s good stuff.’ I agreed heartily. ‘Shall we do another one?’ I asked. ‘Oh no,’ Jesus said quietly, his eyes growing round. ‘This is one of those situations where I have to stop and ask myself, what would I do?",
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                        "text": "Oh noes, kitteh haz major angriez!” I said. I turned around to share a laugh with my companions and found them glaring at me. “What?” I asked. Leif shook a finger and said in a low, menacing tone, “If you tell me I have to talk like an illiterate halfwit to fit into this society, I will punch you.” “And I’ll pull out your goatee,” Gunnar added. “Lolcat iz new happeh wai 2 talk,” I explained to them. “U doan haz 2 be kitteh 2 speek it.",
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                        "text": "Oh. Oberon looked at me. I know that has to make you sad. But call to me instead, Atticus. I'll always answer. Your fly has been open all this time, by the way, and Granuaile hasn't said a thing. Thanks, buddy, I said silently as I tried to surreptitiously zip up my jeans. See? I got your back AND your front. I deserve a treat.",
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                        "text": "Thank you, Morrigan. This is very helpful,” I said, already feeling myself warming up. “And delivered to me entirely without pain.” The Morrigan sucker-punched me hard in the face, sending me sprawling in the snow and breaking my nose. “You spoke too soon and with entirely too much sarcasm,” she said. “We could have parted with a kiss. Remember that…",
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                        "text": "Here is how you know someone has had a good idea: Other people freely admit to their friends that said idea has changed their lives. Most people today will grant that fire and the wheel are the big two. After that, any attempts to rank the greatest ideas of all time are going to draw lots of argument. You’ll have zealots pimping this god or that on the one hand, scientists pimping Darwin on the other, and then practical people pointing at written language and saying, look, fellas, the reason those ideas have gone viral is because someone figured out how to write them down.",
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                        "text": "For me, the times I always regret are missed opportunities to say farewell to good people, to wish them long life and say to them in all sincerity, \"You build and do not destroy; you sow goodwill and reap it; smiles bloom in the wake of your passing, and I will keep your kindness in trust and share it as occasion arises, so that your life will be a quenching draught of calm in a land of drought and stress.\" Too often I never get to say that when it should be said. Instead, I leave them with the equivalent of a \"Later, dude!\" only to discover there would be no later for us.",
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                        "text": "Granuaile looked terminally depressed when she emerged from the bathroom with raven hair and, as a result rather Goth by accident. She didn't want to get her picture taken. \"Aughh!\" she said miserably, looking in the vanity mirror in the truck of the cab and fingering a wavy curl near her temple. \"This sucks more than anything has ever sucked before. You know what we look like? A couple of emo douche bags.\" \"Well, look at the bright side, Granuaile. Emo Douche Bags would be a great band name.\" [That's brilliant! It's already the unofficial name of more bands than I can count.]",
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