---
title: "102 Said Quotes By Janet Evanovich"
description: "102 Said quotes by Janet Evanovich. Plus more from Janet Evanovich and more Said sayings from other authors."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69a/janet-evanovich-291_fainted_you-fainted-i-told-tank-i-did-not-tank-s_1005792.png"
---

> [You fainted," I told Tank. "I did not," Tank said. "That's a lie.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/you-fainted-i-told-tank-i-did-not-tank-said-that-s-a-lie/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/69a/janet-evanovich-291_fainted_you-fainted-i-told-tank-i-did-not-tank-s_1005792.png)

> [Almost everybody I know has died,” Grandma said. “Bunch of wimps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/almost-everybody-i-know-has-died-grandma-said-bunch-of-wimps/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8cd/janet-evanovich-291_bunch_almost-everybody-i-know-has-died-grandma_2577155.png)

> [This is war,' I yelled through the door. Lucky for me,' Morelli said. 'I give good war.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/this-is-war-i-yelled-through-the-door-lucky-for-me-morelli-said-i/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9db/janet-evanovich-291_doors_this-is-war-i-yelled-through-the-door-lu_1815828.png)

> [I don't know much about cars," Joyce said, "but I think someone took my engine.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-don-t-know-much-about-cars-joyce-said-but-i-think-someone-took-my/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/326/janet-evanovich-291_car_i-don-t-know-much-about-cars-joyce-said_2052368.png)

> [You need teeth like mine!" Grandma said. "You can just mail 'em to the dentist!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/you-need-teeth-like-mine-grandma-said-you-can-just-mail-em-to-the/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2cf/janet-evanovich-291_dentist_you-need-teeth-like-mine-grandma-said-yo_2624827.png)

> [Good thing he's dead," Lula said, "or that would have hurt like the devil.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/good-thing-he-s-dead-lula-said-or-that-would-have-hurt-like-the-devil/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/215/janet-evanovich-291_devil_good-thing-he-s-dead-lula-said-or-that-w_122716.png)

> [Men!" I said. "You all a bunch of chauvinist morons" Stephanie Plum - Ten Big Ones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/men-i-said-you-all-a-bunch-of-chauvinist-morons-stephanie-plum-ten/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/121/janet-evanovich-291_bigs_men-i-said-you-all-a-bunch-of-chauvinist_2124033.png)

> [I can give you a better 'and then'," Ranger said.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-can-give-you-a-better-and-then-ranger-said/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e1/janet-evanovich-291_better_i-can-give-you-a-better-and-then-ranger_319697.png)

> [Either get out of bed or else take your clothes off," he said. "I'm not in the mood to compromise.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/either-get-out-of-bed-or-else-take-your-clothes-off-he-said-i-m-not/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/590/janet-evanovich-291_bed_either-get-out-of-bed-or-else-take-your_1074239.png)

> [I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-always-wanted-to-eat-with-a-negro-grandma-said-yeah-well-i-always/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/729/janet-evanovich-291_grandma_i-always-wanted-to-eat-with-a-negro-gran_1034886.png)

> [It's the twenty-first century." I told Tank. "Women drive." "Only in my bed," Tank said. "Never in my car.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/it-s-the-twenty-first-century-i-told-tank-women-drive-only-in-my-bed/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e62/janet-evanovich-291_bed_it-s-the-twenty-first-century-i-told-tan_866778.png)

> [Yeah, I like that idea. Maybe he'll shoot at us again. I was hoping someone would shoot at me today. That was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/yeah-i-like-that-idea-maybe-he-ll-shoot-at-us-again-i-was-hoping/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/952/janet-evanovich-291_boys_yeah-i-like-that-idea-maybe-he-ll-shoot_994497.png)

> [The dog ran into the kitchen, stuck his nose in Grandma's crotch, and snuffled. Dang," Grandma said. "Guess my new perfume really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/the-dog-ran-into-the-kitchen-stuck-his-nose-in-grandma-s-crotch-and/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/157/janet-evanovich-291_dog_the-dog-ran-into-the-kitchen-stuck-his-n_1371183.jpg)

> [Has it ever occurred to you that you might be delusional?' That's what the psychiatrist said, but I think he's wrong. There's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/has-it-ever-occurred-to-you-that-you-might-be-delusional-that-s-what/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/6a5/janet-evanovich-291_delusional_has-it-ever-occurred-to-you-that-you-mig_2828761.jpg)

> [“He blew himself up.” “Get out! You mean like guts all over the place?” “Not all over the place,” I said. “He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/he-blew-himself-up-get-out-you-mean-like-guts-all-over-the-place-not/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f30/janet-evanovich-291_blew_he-blew-himself-up-get-out-you-mean-like_2611070.png)

> [When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: "She's doing better…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/when-grandma-mazur-is-talking-about-the-reason-for-the-improved-play/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/11a/janet-evanovich-291_better-now_when-grandma-mazur-is-talking-about-the_2764279.png)

> [I thought you wanted to date other women?" "I didn't want to date other women. We decided in the heat of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-thought-you-wanted-to-date-other-women-i-didn-t-want-to-date-other/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/59d/janet-evanovich-291_annoyed_i-thought-you-wanted-to-date-other-women_1915506.jpg)

> [I went to the door, and Gary tried hard not to notice I was blue. He looked at his feet, and he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-went-to-the-door-and-gary-tried-hard-not-to-notice-i-was-blue-he/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c88/janet-evanovich-291_blue_i-went-to-the-door-and-gary-tried-hard-n_1331322.png)

> [You're not looking for a partner," Ranger said. "You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/you-re-not-looking-for-a-partner-ranger-said-you-re-looking-for-an/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5e2/janet-evanovich-291_bars_you-re-not-looking-for-a-partner-ranger_1399546.jpg)

> [Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?' Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/are-you-telling-me-you-think-ranger-s-a-superhero-think-about-it-we/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9ee/janet-evanovich-291_believe_are-you-telling-me-you-think-ranger-s-a_2307937.png)

> [ He \[Ranger\] peeled my \[Stephanie\] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/he-ranger-peeled-my-stephanie-clothes-off-and-wrangled-me-into-bed/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/394/janet-evanovich-291_bed_he-ranger-peeled-my-stephanie-clothes-of_2292327.jpg)

> [I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-d-slept-with-ranger-not-sexually-of-course-but-i-d-been-in-his-bed/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d5c/janet-evanovich-291_bed_i-d-slept-with-ranger-not-sexually-of-co_3095867.png)

> [You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/you-have-the-super-soaker-filled-with-holy-water-yeah-i-sucked-it-out/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c6e/janet-evanovich-291_baths_you-have-the-super-soaker-filled-with-ho_2323815.jpg)

> [She doesn’t know,” Cate said. “Kellen is a secret. I didn’t think my mother would approve.” “Why wouldn’t your mother approve?” Pugg…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/she-doesn-t-know-cate-said-kellen-is-a-secret-i-didn-t-think-my/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/91e/janet-evanovich-291_jobs_she-doesn-t-know-cate-said-kellen-is-a-s_2439934.png)

> [ He \[Ranger\] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/he-ranger-stopped-in-front-of-my-parents-house-and-we-both-looked-to/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/248/janet-evanovich-291_babe_he-ranger-stopped-in-front-of-my-parents_2142810.png)

> [I know what you're thinking," Grandma said into the silence. "Do I have anymore bullets in this here gun? Well, with all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-know-what-you-re-thinking-grandma-said-into-the-silence-do-i-have/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b4a/janet-evanovich-291_ask-yourself_i-know-what-you-re-thinking-grandma-said_3025061.png)

> [Sorry about Bender," Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. "Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/sorry-about-bender-lula-said-letting-the-trans-am-idle-at-the-curb/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8aa/janet-evanovich-291_bangs_sorry-about-bender-lula-said-letting-the_2617587.jpg)

> [Babe," Ranger said. "You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I should know?" I'm on a sugar withdrawal. I've given…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/babe-ranger-said-you-re-looking-a-little-strung-out-is-there-anything/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2eb/janet-evanovich-291_babe_babe-ranger-said-you-re-looking-a-little_3200245.jpg)

> [That was close,"he said, helping himself to coffee. Yeah, you almost opened the door to Morelli." I wasn't talking about Morelli. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/that-was-close-he-said-helping-himself-to-coffee-yeah-you-almost/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8e2/janet-evanovich-291_bagels_that-was-close-he-said-helping-himself-t_2919938.jpg)

> [Ranger cradled my face in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe the tears from my eyes. "The ceremony is over. Can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/ranger-cradled-my-face-in-his-hands-using-his-thumbs-to-wipe-the/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7fd/janet-evanovich-291_all-kinds_ranger-cradled-my-face-in-his-hands-usin_123053.jpg)

> [One of the men gave Butch a bunch of volts with a stun gun. The Rangeman didn’t move fast enough, and Butch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/one-of-the-men-gave-butch-a-bunch-of-volts-with-a-stun-gun-the/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b5a/janet-evanovich-291_ankles_one-of-the-men-gave-butch-a-bunch-of-vol_1201609.jpg)

> [“This is a little awkward," I said, "but my mother just ran over the rabbit." "Ran over?" "As in roadkill. We're not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/this-is-a-little-awkward-i-said-but-my-mother-just-ran-over-the/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8f1/janet-evanovich-291_humor_this-is-a-little-awkward-i-said-but-my-m_1536804.png)

> [I like my nuts," Mooner said. "I don't want them cut off. I'd be, like, nutless then.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-like-my-nuts-mooner-said-i-don-t-want-them-cut-off-i-d-be-like/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/dbe/janet-evanovich-291_cutting_i-like-my-nuts-mooner-said-i-don-t-want_2124813.png)

> [Maybe it was me," Grandma said."Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/maybe-it-was-me-grandma-said-sometimes-they-sneak-out-did-i-fart/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/970/janet-evanovich-291_fart_maybe-it-was-me-grandma-said-sometimes-t_732791.png)

> [He's a good man," Ranger said. "And you?" "I'm better.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/he-s-a-good-man-ranger-said-and-you-i-m-better/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a90/janet-evanovich-291_good_he-s-a-good-man-ranger-said-and-you-i-m_2937705.png)

> [You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/you-gonna-take-the-case-it-s-not-a-case-it-s-a-missing-person-sort-of/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bd/janet-evanovich-291_aliens_you-gonna-take-the-case-it-s-not-a-case_4171.png)

> [Diesel is back," Ranger said. Yes. How did you know?" I woke up with a migraine this morning." Ranger said.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/diesel-is-back-ranger-said-yes-how-did-you-know-i-woke-up-with-a/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1af/janet-evanovich-291_diesel_diesel-is-back-ranger-said-yes-how-did-y_949197.png)

> [Now that we know you're not a hundred percent vampire you should stop trying to suck necks," I said to Ziggy. "I'll…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/now-that-we-know-you-re-not-a-hundred-percent-vampire-you-should-stop/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9c1/janet-evanovich-291_break_now-that-we-know-you-re-not-a-hundred-pe_3068099.png)

> [Ranger locked eyes with me. "Please," he said. Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to "please." I wasn't used to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/ranger-locked-eyes-with-me-please-he-said-tank-and-hal-were-goggle/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/cdd/janet-evanovich-291_be-careful_ranger-locked-eyes-with-me-please-he-sai_1907040.jpg)

> [My mother drove back to the intersection. "Who are you dating?" "Don't ask," I said. I wasn't dating anyone. I was fornicating…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/my-mother-drove-back-to-the-intersection-who-are-you-dating-don-t-ask/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

[Image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a1e/janet-evanovich-291_batman_my-mother-drove-back-to-the-intersection_2561702.png)

## Other authors on Said

## More by Janet Evanovich

> [“His pager beeped, and he looked at the readout. “I have to get back to Deal. Do you have any secret weapons in your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/his-pager-beeped-and-he-looked-at-the-readout-i-have-to-get-back-to/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/you-gonna-take-the-case-it-s-not-a-case-it-s-a-missing-person-sort-of/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [Are we fighting?" I asked Morelli. "No. Were discussing." "Are you sure?" "Am I yelling?" Morelli asked. "Is my face purple? Are the cords…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/are-we-fighting-i-asked-morelli-no-were-discussing-are-you-sure-am-i/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [“changed expression. Wariness, maybe. I felt a body move so close it was skimming my own, and a warm hand protectively settled at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/changed-expression-wariness-maybe-i-felt-a-body-move-so-close-it-was/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [I need to look like an idiot at least twice a day to keep myself humble.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-need-to-look-like-an-idiot-at-least-twice-a-day-to-keep-myself/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [Mooner was walking around laying his hands on the cars, divining karma. "this is it", he said, standing by a small khaki-colored jeep."this car…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/mooner-was-walking-around-laying-his-hands-on-the-cars-divining-karma/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [“Ranger was waiting. He was dressed in black slacks, a form-fitting black T-shirt, and a black blazer.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/ranger-was-waiting-he-was-dressed-in-black-slacks-a-form-fitting/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [I guessed my mother figured if my father got right down to the task of eating he wouldn’t be so inclined to jump up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-guessed-my-mother-figured-if-my-father-got-right-down-to-the-task/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [You can get through very serious and sometimes horrible and sometimes embarrassing and very awkward situations with humor. It gives us a way out.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/you-can-get-through-very-serious-and-sometimes-horrible-and-sometimes/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [Way back before the 'Alex Barnaby' series was first published, we were talking with Dark Horse then about making it into a graphic novel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/way-back-before-the-alex-barnaby-series-was-first-published-we-were/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [I made a choice that I was not going to be a pretentious writer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-made-a-choice-that-i-was-not-going-to-be-a-pretentious-writer/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [“He wears jeans, untucked shirts, and a Glock 19, and he has a big shaggy dog named Bob.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/he-wears-jeans-untucked-shirts-and-a-glock-19-and-he-has-a-big-shaggy/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [I write to entertain. When people read one of my books I want them to finish with a smile on their faces, feeling a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-write-to-entertain-when-people-read-one-of-my-books-i-want-them-to/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [“I hate shopping for clothes," Kate said. "I liked when I was in the military and all I needed was camouflage gear." "Shopping can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-hate-shopping-for-clothes-kate-said-i-liked-when-i-was-in-the/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

> [“I’m told there’s a paint specialist in Denver who does wonderful work,” Judy said. “I’ve started a GoFundMe page for Mr. Murphy.” “That’s a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/i-m-told-there-s-a-paint-specialist-in-denver-who-does-wonderful-work/)

[Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/)

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                        "text": "Good thing he's dead,\" Lula said, \"or that would have hurt like the devil.",
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                        "text": "I can give you a better 'and then',\" Ranger said.",
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                        "text": "I always wanted to eat with a Negro,” Grandma said. Yeah, well I always wanted to eat with a boney- assed old white woman,” Lula said. “So I guess this works out good.",
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                        "text": "When Grandma Mazur is talking about the reason for the improved play of her 91-year-old bowling teammate, she said: \"She's doing better now that we got her the longer tubing to her oxygen tank.",
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                        "text": "I thought you wanted to date other women?\" \"I didn't want to date other women. We decided in the heat of the moment that were no longer exclusively attached.\" \"And I could date other men.\" Morelli was starting to look annoyed. \"Have you been dating other men?\" \"Maybe.\" \"As long as it isn't Ranger,\" Morelli said. \"I don't think Ranger dates.",
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                        "text": "I went to the door, and Gary tried hard not to notice I was blue. He looked at his feet, and he looked above my head, and he cleared his throat. It's okay,' I said. 'I know I'm blue.' It caught me by surprise,' he said. 'I didn't want to seem rude.",
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                        "text": "You're not looking for a partner,\" Ranger said. \"You're looking for an enforcer. You hate to run. You must be worried about getting into that black dress. What did you eat just now? Piece of cake? Candy bar?\" \"Everything,\" I said. \"I just ate everything.",
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                        "text": "Are you telling me you think Ranger's a superhero?' Think about it. We don't know where he lives. We don't know anything about him.' Superheroes are make-believe.' Oh yeah?' Lula said. 'What about God?",
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                        "text": "He [Ranger] peeled my [Stephanie] clothes off and wrangled me into bed. And then suddenly he was inside me. He once told me that time spent with him would ruin me for all other men. When he said it, I thought it was an outrageous threat. I no longer though it outrageous.",
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                        "text": "I'd slept with Ranger! Not sexually, of course. But I'd been in his bed. And then there was the evil shower gel. \"It was all because of the shower gel,\" I said. Morelli's eyes narrowed. \"Shower gel?\" I made a major effort not to sigh. \"Long story. You probably don't want to hear it.",
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                        "text": "You have the Super Soaker filled with holy water?” “Yeah. I sucked it out of the church. You know that bird-bath thing they got right up front?” “The baptismal font?” “That’s it. They got it filled with holy water, free for the taking.” “Brilliant,” I said to Lula. She tapped her head with her finger. “No grass growin’ here.",
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                        "text": "She doesn’t know,” Cate said. “Kellen is a secret. I didn’t think my mother would approve.” “Why wouldn’t your mother approve?” Pugg asked. “It’s my job,” Kellen said. “I kill people. It pays well, but it’s not universally socially acceptable.",
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                        "text": "He [Ranger] stopped in front of my parents' house, and we both looked to the door. My mother and my grandmother were standing there, watching us. \"I'm not sure I feel comfortable about the way your grandma looks at me,\" Ranger said. [Stephanie] \"She wants to see you naked.\" \"I wish you hadn't told me that, babe.\" \"Everyone I know wants to see you naked.\" \"And you?\" \"Never crossed my mind.\" I held my breath when I said it, and I hoped God wouldn't stike me down dead for lying.",
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                        "text": "I know what you're thinking,\" Grandma said into the silence. \"Do I have anymore bullets in this here gun? Well, with all the confusion, what with being locked up in a refrigerator, I plumb forgot what was in here to start with. But being that this is a 45 magnum, the most powerful handgun in existence, and it could blow your head clean off, you just got to ask yourself one question. Do you feel lucky today? Well, do you, punk?\" Christ,\" Spiro whispered. \"She thinks she's f**king Clint Eastwood.",
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                        "text": "Sorry about Bender,\" Lula said, letting the Trans Am idle at the curb. \"Maybe we could tell Vinnie he died. We could say we were all set to bring Bender in, and he died. Bang. Dead as a doorknob.\" \"Better yet, why don't we just go back and kill him,\" I said. I opened the door to leave, caught my toe in the floor mat, and fell out of the car, face first. I rolled onto my back and stared up at the stars. \"I'm fine,\" I said to Lula. \"Maybe I'll sleep here tonight.",
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                        "text": "Babe,\" Ranger said. \"You're looking a little strung out. Is there anything I should know?\" I'm on a sugar withdrawal. I've given up desert and it's all I can think about.\" That had been true five minutes ago. Now that Ranger was standng in front of me I was thinking a cupcake wasn't what I actually needed. Maybe I can help you get your mind off doughnuts,\" Ranger said. My mouth dropped open, and I think some drool might have dribbled out.",
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                        "text": "That was close,\"he said, helping himself to coffee. Yeah, you almost opened the door to Morelli.\" I wasn't talking about Morelli. I was talking about us.\" That too,\" I said. Ranger sliced a bagel and looked for the toaster. It's broken,\"I told him. He truned the boiler on and slid the bagel into the oven. That's surprisingly domestic for a man of mystery,\" I said to him. He looked at me over the rim of his coffee mug. \"I like things hot.",
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                        "text": "I like my nuts,\" Mooner said. \"I don't want them cut off. I'd be, like, nutless then.",
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                        "text": "Maybe it was me,\" Grandma said.\"Sometimes they sneak out.Did I fart?",
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                        "text": "You gonna take the case?\" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of.\" You're gonna have a devil of a time finding him if it was aliens,\" Grandma said.",
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                        "text": "Diesel is back,\" Ranger said. Yes. How did you know?\" I woke up with a migraine this morning.\" Ranger said.",
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                        "text": "Ranger locked eyes with me. \"Please,\" he said. Tank and Hal were goggle-eyed. They weren't used to \"please.\" I wasn't used to it either. But I liked it. Okay,\" I said. \"Be careful. He's insane.",
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